u/oversonwater

I want to begin this essay with a quote of Satin, one of Gorky's play "The Lower Depths" characters:

"What is man? It's not you, nor I, nor they—No, it's you, I, they, the old man, Napoleon, Mohammed—all in one. You understand? It's tremendous! In this are all the beginnings and all the ends. Everything in man, everything for man. Only man exists, the rest is the work of his hands and his brain. Man! It's magnificent; it has a proud ring to it! A man has to be respected! Not pitied . . . don't degrade him with pity. . . . You've got to respect him!"

By the way, if you ever decide to read this play, fair warning: it's devastating, bitter and tremendously dark, however I do love this quote and I think it reflects my thoughts on the show.

But can I call it really a show? Technically, yes. But it gave me so much for thought that I'd rather call it "an experience." This is at least how I feel about the title I finished watching an hour ago.

Let's begin with the plot, which is painfully simple: two guys broke up and now are looking at the ruins of their relationship. How to live further? Can they mend what's broken? 6 episodes will be meticulously digging into these questions, letting viewers come to their own conclusions.

It's one of those titles that does not preach or take anybody's sides: rather it explores, as if being an impersonal 3rd something, what it's like to be in a relationship that didn't, doesn't and won't work. The title speaks for itself: "...who I will break up with," so viewers know the outcome, nevertheless, I would never have thought about the real reasons for the main characters to fall apart.

And that's the core of the show and why I started this review with that quote: there is no drama, no tears, no heartwrenching monologues. This is just life as it is: we fall in love, break up, struggle being parents, lose ourselves, fight for happiness when nobody sees us. I loved the idea of being a complete stranger to a person, who's supposed to know you better than anybody else. Drowning in your own life while neglecting the one close to you is what happened to Yuma and Itsuki. The script doesn't take either of the sides and doesn't ask the question "who to blame?" The characters come to a logical conclusion themselves and the end of the show is neither sweet, nor bitter, because life goes on.

These were not the only themes covered. Six 20 min long episodes manage to talk about:

Misogyny at work

Being accepted by parents

Child abuse

Becoming a new mom

Postpartum depression

Loneliness and depression

And with all that, the series remains lighthearted and wholesome, making it easy to watch, but my head was boiling with thoughts and meanings on the go.

I was thinking if I myself was ever biased towards gay people? For example, that many fashion designers are gay. Why would I ever think so? Yuma's character faces the same discrimination: he hated the idea of winning the pitch just because people thought he could represent the female point of view better. Or the obsession of the BL community — who's top and who's bottom? I find it ridiculous to speculate about it, which is reflected in Itsuki's emotional speech: leave me alone and stop being obsessed with other people's sex life! The series claims that gay people are the same people as everybody else — that's why they need the same rights, not because they're different, is what makes this title so true to life. I really hope Japan will win this fight.

The series explores THE HUMAN as is — there are neither good nor bad people, there are just people who fail, succeed, and simply try to figure out what to do with their lives. Through the eyes of the new mom we see how life seems to eliminate you while everybody else keeps going; through the eyes of Itsuki we see a vulnerable, tender person who is so lost that he prefers to remain in his solitude; and through the eyes of the director we live through uncertainties and find strength inside ourselves.

With everything it manages to touch upon, this is a very tender yet topical film, answering so many questions about life and love, which rounds up my top 3 BL (I don't know though if I want to call these tilted BL anymore) series I've watched in 2026, which are:

1. Soul mate

2. Life in smokey blue

3. The Boy and I Who Will Break Up in 100 Days

It's one of those series we can get once a decade.

Once again, Japan never ceases to impress me with its artistic possibilities.

Thanks for reading this far and take care!

Hello, everyone!

I'm into body horror films, and this year I've decided to explore body horror in literature.

I did some research, and many sources recommended The Troop. I know it's a cult classic, but... I just couldn't read it, not because of the gore or disgusting details, but because it didn't really send shivers down my spine.

Maybe because it was too in-your-face, or because I opened the book already having some expectations based on the films I like.

I'm sure there are many readers here who also appreciate body horror. Maybe you can suggest something?

I want to be scared not by physical horrors, but by the feeling that something very bad is about to happen throughout the story.

I've read only one scary book (I don't count Stephen King) in my entire life: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, and I found it VERY unsettling and scary.

Thank you very much in advance for your recommendations!

I watched two recommended titles on GagaOOLala:

Heart Set on Her, 2026, Taiwan

and

Almost Lover, 2026, S. Korea

Both are shorts, 40 and 20 minutes respectively, and both are completely different stories in terms of plot as well as execution. Neither one is better or worse; they just pursue different aims.

Here's what I liked about them.

Almost Lover

First of all - who's that queen?? Kang Yu Ra completely floored me with her beauty and elegance.

Okay, the plot basically revolves around two women and their misunderstanding in the past. It's only 20 minutes long but the story captured my attention with its simple yet very true-to-life plot. I'm sure each of us has been at least once in a situation portrayed in this short film. What I found a bit frustrating though is that they're too beautiful and slim with flawless makeup, which for my taste looks a bit unrealistic. And the ending seems like the beginning of a bumpy road for these two.

That's pretty much it. It's a total turn-off-your-brain watch set in a vacuum and by vacuum I mean the absence of the world around the characters. I felt like I watched a theatrical performance on a small stage for two actors, which is by the way, a very pleasant experience.

Heart Set on Her

Ah, this is a completely different story.

This short film does indeed tell a story about the hardships of dealing with relatives when you're on the verge of getting married. Here the characters live in a huge indifferent world (which I mostly cherish in stories): they don't have stable jobs, they're misunderstood, they're afraid of their future, but still, despite all the odds, they struggle to find their happiness.

The cinematography here plays the role of a third character: I felt as if I was right there looking at Mia and Emma fighting to be together. During these 40 minutes, Liu Yu Pin and Dio Wang managed to show a real piece of life: by the end I knew everything about the main characters: how old they are, what they do, what they like and dislike, who their parents and relatives are. I basically witnessed a part of their lives.

What makes this story even more precious is the fact that the film doesn't preach and doesn't favor either family: everyone in this film has their own issues and prejudices and the characters have only 40 minutes to figure out how to move on with their lives

All of this makes Heart Set on Her one of the best slice-of-life titles I've watched this year. It's wholesome and heartwarming with a 10 out of 10 rewatch value. Kudos to the actresses who conveyed emotions of happiness and frustration throughout this 40-minute journey.

These were the first Asian GL titles I've ever watched, and I feel like my standards just skyrocketed.

Hey everyone! I don't know if the moderators will allow this post, but I wanted to share a couple of really good Russian films and series that are pretty easy to understand. Both of them have modern colloquial language and deep (but not miserable!) themes, and are generally just pleasant to watch.

​На выдохе, 2022 (On Exhalation) - This tells the story of a paralyzed boy, his mom, and his young female caregiver. It's very heartwarming and wholesome.

​Гордость, 2026 (Pride) - This is a romcom series about finding love, where you can also enjoy the beautiful landscapes of the Northern Caucasus. The story explores cultural differences and discovering love inside your heart. A very tender series with good acting.

Today the second season finished, and I wanted to share my love for this great manhwa.

God, it's so difficult to write about something you love. It's much easier to ramble about disappointments, so I'll do my best to stay analytical without drowning in endless "OMG, I loooooove it so much!!!"

Alright, in case someone is seeing this title for the first time, here's what's going on:

Hyeonseon is 40, divorced, and living the blandest life possible. One day he decides to take guitar lessons and meets Yeoreum, a 23-year-old guy. That's where their story begins.

Ah. I LOVE THIS MANHWA!!!! 🤣

Alright, jokes aside.

What makes this piece of art great:

The art by pppanghouse.

Her artistic style is unique, tender, soft, and vibrant. She mentioned in one of her interviews that she worked really hard on the coloring of First of Summers, and I can confidently say she nailed it. Everything looks flawless and delicious: the interiors, the lighting, the food, the clothes... Aaaaa!!!! Reading this manhwa made me want to learn how to draw.

The characters.

They are not plot devices. They are people with thoughts and feelings whose lives I genuinely enjoy watching. When something happens, I never ask myself, "Why?" Instead I think, "Yes, Yeoreum would definitely do that." I believe every page, every sentence, every phrase, every word they say.

The plot.

This is the strongest point: a rock-solid foundation of common sense, storytelling, and cause-and-effect. Everything is interconnected.

For example, Hyeonseon is divorced, and later we meet his ex-wife—not just for the sake of having an awkward reunion or filling pages. She's no less important than the main characters. Her appearance ties together the difficult period after the breakup and helps us understand Hyeonseon's motivations much better.

The same goes for Hyeonseon's sister. She appears only a few times, yet she plays a crucial role in moving the story forward. There are no fillers or pointless scenes.

The themes.

This is the reason why the manhwa won my heart. It's about universal struggles that almost everyone faces: finding your place in life, communicating with your parents, figuring out what to do when nobody can help you, understanding what you really want, making friends, and solving problems through honest conversations.

Basically, it's about LIFE as it is: raw, flawed, and complicated.

This manhwa doesn't offer fluffy escapism, nor does it drown you in misery. Instead, it tells a beautiful, deeply human story that feels incredibly realistic and can resonate with many people.

I have so many favorite scenes: the mushroom soup episode (absolutely hilarious), every scene with Hyeonseon's sister (she's amazing, and I adore her daughter), and especially the scene at the end of Season 2 with Yeoreum and his mom. I won't spoil anything, but I'm really glad pppanghouse chose that direction for the story.

And many, many more.

If you haven't read this manhwa yet and you're looking for something deep, emotionally rich, eventful, with excellent storytelling, meaningful themes, and memorable characters, First of Summers should definitely be your next read.

My wholehearted recommendation: 10/10.

Thanks for reading this far, and take care!

Hey there!

I'm a HUGE BL fan and now I want to explore GL titles. I've never watched anything because I feel suspicious I won't like it. Sounds stupid, but it is what it is.

I used to love films about girls love back then when I was a teen and my favorites were:

Bound (1996), Lost and Delirious (2001), Heavenly creatures (1994), Mulholland drive (2001), Fucking Åmål(1998), But I'm a cheerleader (1999) and Boys don't cry (1999).

This year I've discovered BL ( especially South Korea and Japan) and I'm really interested to understand how things are going in GL (South Korea and Japan, not sure about Thai) genre.

I'm looking for great storytelling, well-written characters, and exploration of universal topics about how to live this life.

Will be really grateful for any recommendations!

Thx everybody in advance!

What have I just watched? That's the only question running through my head.

Among all the shows I've watched, this one feels like the biggest wasted opportunity.

But let me start with what I loved about the show.

1. Everybody is ridiculously handsome. This is the first show where I loved absolutely every actor's appearance. They're sleek, stylish, elegant, and sexy.

2. The performances. I wouldn't say they're top-notch, but Wada Masanari and Shintaro Yuya deliver great performances. Wada Masanari, in particular, is fascinating to watch: his Kataoka is an absolute crazy freak, and I loved every second he was on screen.

3. The opening sequence and the main song by Daito Yamamoto — I've been listening to it on repeat on my YouTube Music.

4. Some scenes were genuinely profound. For example:

- the scene with the dead bird, where Kataoka places a lit cigarette on its grave instead of incense while the child who had asked him to take care of the bird is crying. To be honest, that scene said more than half of the series.

- I also loved the scene where they had to cut the grass in order to find Asahi's grave, as the viewers are supposed to believe that Kataoka killed him.

- The first part of the series — rural Japan, road trips, meeting random people, eating in the car — was also very good.

- The scenes where Odajima hears Kirii in his head and suffers panic attacks were done really well.

- The camera work, color palette, and costumes are exceptional. They were a pleasure to look at.

Okay. Now let's talk about where the show lost touch with reality and completely lost its way in the woods.

We have three main characters:

Kataoka: a violent killer who treats people like dirt.

Odajima: a guy with PTSD after killing his entire family and losing his best friend.

Kirii: the heir to a yakuza empire who suspects that Kataoka is his rival.

Let's begin with Kirii. He's portrayed as a complete lunatic and scumbag.

The conflict: he sees Kataoka as his direct rival.

Reality: his father never had any other children, which makes the entire conflict exist solely in Kirii's head.

How the show handles it: by mentioning it in the final episode! Like... why? Isn't this fertile ground for character development? Why not let the viewers gradually realize that Kirii spent almost his entire life hating someone who never deserved it?

Then there's the "romance" part. I'll have to rein myself in here to avoid turning this into pure rambling and venting.

So.

Odajima killed his family, is treated like filth by Kirii (including being forced to perform oral sex), is treated like filth by Kataoka, and has no hopes, no future, no nothing. He constantly looks miserable and simply does whatever other people tell him to do.

Kataoka, as I've already mentioned, is portrayed as a kind of tender beast: he kills people but also helps members of the yakudza family in need. At the same time, he sexually assaults and coerces Odajima throughout the entire series.

Then, completely out of the blue, in episode 5 (out of 6!) he says, "You're my reason for living." Like... what the hell? I'm sorry, but I honestly can't find any other words for it.

Later, in the hospital, Odajima mutters into the void, "You're my reason for living." Hello, boy! Maybe you have Stockholm syndrome? Maybe you should see a therapist?

There was absolutely no buildup to such a sudden change in character. Even if there had been, I despise tropes that romanticize violence. They simply don't work for me.

I feel as if the characters lived their lives first, and then a scriptwriter came along, took notes on the outcome, and wrote a story based on those notes.

The romantic aspect is the weakest part of the show. It doesn't explore anything — and it could have! A guy with PTSD and a violent killer on the run? Wow. That could have been an incredible opportunity to explore human nature. Instead, we get "Now you're my wife," "I slept with a virgin, so I must take responsibility," and Kataoka's absolutely idiotic comic-relief minions.

Overall, this show doesn't seem to know what it wants to be about. Is it about the violent world of the yakuza? Revenge and remorse? Love in a cruel world?

I feel that the director wanted to say many interesting things, but maybe because the show is so short — or because of the script, or the producers — we ended up with this instead.

And that's such a pity.

Hey there!

I've been a prog rock/metal fan since I was 16-17, namely Dream Theater and Threshold. Concerts, interviews DVDs, watching concerts together with friends, doing covers, playing by ear and all that.

I've never thought I would love another genre but... Somehow I ended up listening to intros and outros from anime and jpop... I'm 40😆

I mean, with all my love for the complex structure of DT, I was mesmerized by equally interesting choices in the genres I'm listening to now.

So I'm really interested, if you have ever switched to a different genre, completely different from progressive?

To cut a long story short: it's not a bad show; rather, it's a show of lost opportunities.

Here's why.

This show contains almost everything I usually dislike in BL:

- overly sentimental music

- a script that drives the characters instead of the other way around

- romance for the sake of romance

- superficial conflicts

- bland dialogue

- a very narrow world, or no world at all

- staged kisses, silk sheets, theatrical sex

BUT

I binged it today and even bought a paid GagaOOLala subscription, which made me question myself: WHY?

The answer is probably this: I wanted to give this show a chance, and I didn't regret watching it. However, I do regret how much could have been shown and developed here.

We have two young men, one of whom has been carrying a torch for the other for over a decade, I guess. And? How does the show treat this material? With one line: "I've loved you since high school."

Um, of course, nobody owes me anything. Besides, the show is adapted from a manga (which I feel I should read), but I never got the emotional payoff I expected from this kind of conflict: an emotionally constipated guy and his human golden retriever.

Let me explain what I mean.

The show had the potential to deal with universal human issues such as overworking, emotional unavailability, work-life balance, failing to meet your family's expectations, and carrying the burden of hidden love. The show does indeed touch on all of these, but the main issue for me is that it TALKS rather than SHOWS.

If it's overworking, the solution is: go home.

Emotional coldness? Say something to me.

Issues with parents? Don't listen to them.

Where the conflict could have been deepened, even though the genre is comedy, everything is reduced to giggling or wooden acting.

My main complaint lies in the script's laziness. I watched the show, closed the tab, and forgot about it because it didn't ask me any questions, nor did it leave anything to my imagination. It simply says: "Here are two guys. They're in love. Their road is a bit bumpy, but don't worry — they'll get their happy ending."

One more thing about the script: it repeats the same pattern throughout the entire series — whenever one character tries to be serious, the other turns everything into a joke and leaves. Okay, it was understandable at the beginning, predictable later on, and annoying by the end.

The cinematography isn't particularly inventive: either I'm looking at talking heads, or the camera starts shaking and zooming into the actors' faces, which I personally find excessive.

Speaking about acting, I didn't like Sato Yusuke's portrayal of Zen: he wore the same scornful smile at the beginning and remained virtually unchanged by the end of the show.

Okay, enough ranting. You might be wondering whether the show has any good qualities.

Yes, it does!

Hori Kaito, who played Ryo, is amazing. He managed to convey the whole spectrum of emotions, from vulnerability to sheer happiness. Watching him on screen made me believe that the character had gone through his arc and was ready for a new beginning.

Nevertheless, I can't bring myself to call it a bad show. It just could have been so much more than what I saw. But again, in a world where BLs are abundant, yet only a few of them are truly works of art, FFL falls somewhere in between: it offers a lot for BL fans while retaining the tenderness, beauty, and innocence often associated with Japanese BLs.

Will I recommend watching it?

Absolutely yes!

Thanks for reading this far, and take care!

Things kicked off this February when I was hit by Murakami’s Norwegian Wood. I was so overwhelmed by its melancholy that finding an “ESCAPE” button became almost an emergency. I found it in Makoto Shinkai’s works, which I had never watched before. The result was an overdose of happiness, which pushed me further into exploring romantic anime titles. I binged them despite having a toddler, a household, work, and real life behind the window. I won’t go deeper into the titles I enjoyed, since this essay has a different focus.

I cannot really remember why I switched from hetero romantic stories to titles like Given, Mignon, Hyperventilation, Classmates, Heaven Official’s Blessing, Quiet Please!, Cherry Magic! and Twittering Birds Never Fly, but that shift became a turning point that divided my life into “before” and “after”. It would be wrong to claim I enjoyed all of them equally, but Mignon… boy oh boy… I watched it in the morning, afternoon, and evening. I wrote a letter to the composer, installed X to follow the director, and played the OST to death (and I still listen to it, btw).

All of the above naturally leads to the question: what did a 40-year-old woman find in a 60-minute animation about a vampire and a boxer? The answer is this: the story is short, yet the author manages to touch on all aspects of the characters — their past, present, and future. The 18+ scenes are not the driving force of the plot; instead, the story focuses on the thoughts and feelings of the characters. And that final scene… I won’t pretend I watched Mignon only for the story. Of course I wanted that steamy scene injected straight into my veins.

What I learned from my emotions: watching two handsome guys kiss is no worse than any leisure activity that gives me endorphins, a good mood, and a real “switch-off” button.

But that was only the beginning, which led me to manhwas.

To say I was speechless would be an understatement, since the first title I read was Semantic Error, which made me fall in love with Korean manhwas immediately, because:

• I had never read graphic novels or comics before.
• I could never have imagined a drawn story could be that captivating.
• It gave me plot, character-driven storytelling, conflict, social commentary, intimacy, and beautiful art all in one — a kind of luxury rarely found in modern media.

After Semantic Error, I started reading literally everything in sight, from Jinx and Night by the Sea to Sign Language and Dear, 00.

This experience led me to reflect on what I was looking for in manhwas:

• No violence at all, since in many titles I read, violence is often equated with rape or sexual coercion.
• The plot should not revolve around sex scenes, even if there are plenty of them. It may sound strange, but some of my favorite titles contain no explicit scenes at all, which makes them even more compelling, as they leave more room for imagination.
• It must be a character-driven story; in other words, characters should drive the plot rather than the script forcing them from one event to the next.
• It should explore humanistic themes such as the price of choice, trust and vulnerability, personal growth, and finding one’s place in society.

With that in mind, my favorite titles include First of Summers, Shen Sheng, To the Stars and Back, You’re Here, Unexpected Meeting, 1 to 10, Our Sunny Days, and Semantic Error.

All of these are compelling stories with strong narrative cohesion, leaving no major thematic questions unresolved. They offer either tender or explicit romantic storylines, yet romance itself does not determine the direction of the narrative. Instead, these works explore universal human experiences.

Woooah. Is anyone still reading, I wonder?

Here’s the last part: TV series and films. I’ll do my best not to ramble.

My life was again divided into “before” and “after” by Soulmate on Netflix. Before February 2026, I despised shows about love, but after that, they became the only kind I watch. Here’s the paradox: in my pursuit of an “ESCAPE” button, I landed in Japanese melancholy — so I essentially returned to where I started with Murakami. That led me to a realization: BL, for me, is not anesthesia from reality, nor just two handsome men in a luxury setting. What I was actually looking for all these months was already there: raw emotion, inability to escape reality, solitude, and a piercing sense of longing running through many of the titles I love, such as Soulmate, Egoist, Your Heart Engraved Herein, and More Than Words.

But it is not only suffering that resonated with me. I also found a lot of peace in titles such as Life in Smoky Blue, Old Fashioned Cupcake, and The Eighth Sense.

No matter how different these works are, they share something in common: convincing storytelling, strong cinematography, and life as it is — something that is surprisingly hard to find in much of modern media.

So, what did I, a 40-year-old woman, get from this experience?

1. I got my libido back. Postpartum life, household responsibilities, and work had taken their toll, but thanks to BL my sex life returned to normal — probably the most unexpected benefit.
2. I discovered a whole new layer of art and culture: directors, composers, actors. My YouTube music is now full of new songs I genuinely enjoy.
3. I feel as if my brain chemistry has shifted in some way: I feel happier, lighter, younger, and more alive overall.

And that’s it. It has been — and still is — a very emotional journey. If you are reading this and thinking about starting something similar, take a deep breath. Your life will probably not stay the same.

Thanks for reading this far, and take care!

I watched a film that I really liked. Here are my thoughts on why.

Title: Goodbye, Mother

Genre: Drama, Comedy

Shall I call it BL? I'm not really sure. On the one hand, yes, both of the main characters are gay; on the other hand, though, the love theme is not what defines the plot.

What I loved about the film is how simple (in a good way) it is. It doesn't overdramatize or overexaggerate the problem, which is revealing a same-sex relationship to your mom. The characters are situated in a bunch of slice-of-life scenarios that let them live, breathe, and have plenty of room for human nature exploration. The film doesn't scream: "Hey! Look how unfair life is for two guys in Vietnam!" Neither does it shout about the role of women in rural parts of the country: it takes only a couple of lines of dialogue and scenes to grasp what's going on.

The film doesn't go into moralizing and separating the "developed" West from the "traditional" East; instead, it just shows life as it is—raw, flawed, and problematic. And inside this mess, there are three main characters trying to figure out how to navigate their lives.

I enjoyed the acting very much. "The eyes, Chico, they never lie" — this is how I can define the acting approach here. I can tell by the look in the mother's eyes how she feels and what she already knows or anticipates.

It's a very subtle and tender film about trust and how vulnerability meets the unmet expectations of a huge family.

It was a truly enjoyable watch! 10/10

I watched a film that I really liked. Here are my thoughts on why.

Title: Goodbye, Mother

Genre: Drama, Comedy

Shall I call it BL? I'm not really sure. On the one hand, yes, both of the main characters are gay; on the other hand, though, the love theme is not what defines the plot.

What I loved about the film is how simple (in a good way) it is. It doesn't overdramatize or overexaggerate the problem, which is revealing a same-sex relationship to your mom. The characters are situated in a bunch of slice-of-life scenarios that let them live, breathe, and have plenty of room for human nature exploration. The film doesn't scream: "Hey! Look how unfair life is for two guys in Vietnam!" Neither does it shout about the role of women in rural parts of the country: it takes only a couple of lines of dialogue and scenes to grasp what's going on.

The film doesn't go into moralizing and separating the "developed" West from the "traditional" East; instead, it just shows life as it is—raw, flawed, and problematic. And inside this mess, there are three main characters trying to figure out how to navigate their lives.

I enjoyed the acting very much. "The eyes, Chico, they never lie" — this is how I can define the acting approach here. I can tell by the look in the mother's eyes how she feels and what she already knows or anticipates.

It's a very subtle and tender film about trust and how vulnerability meets the unmet expectations of a huge family.

It was a truly enjoyable watch! 10/10