u/pbear_1969

After my ex broke up with me we were still talking and I was in limbo for pretty much a year. Shortly after that we had another conversation and he still did not want to get back together.

I told him it was difficult for me to remain friends with him and it was better that we not talk. He said he respects that and he would not reach out. However, if I wanted to reach out to him I could.

On one hand he seemed to understand but I can't help but feel that he might be a little upset with me for going no contact.

We have been no contact since the last week in May. I have reached out once for a particular reason but other than that we have not spoken or messaged.

When I did reach out he was nice and thanked me for reaching out. But he said he was confused. He thought that we had gone no contact and he's trying to respect my wishes. But I couldn't help note a tone in his text message. He didn't sound too happy about it.

He is the one who used to text me almost daily before I suggested no contact.

Just wondering if this has happened to anyone else.

Just wondering if your ex avoidant deleted photos of the two of you from their social media accounts.

Hi there!

I was thinking about volunteering in a hospital setting.

Can you give me an idea of what some of the volunteer positions do?

I have seen some volunteers who work near the front of the hospital and guide patients to their destination. However, I would prefer to work with patients if possible.

Just a side note: I was thinking about looking into becoming an X-ray tech or ultrasound tech. Do they take volunteers in those departments?

I'm in Canada if that makes a difference 🙂

​

For those of you who happen to be in therapy and discuss your breakup, what kind of advice or suggestions has your therapist given you with regard to your breakup with an avoidant?

I know there are many reasons for a breakup but I'm just wondering if you have ever broken up with someone that you love because of other circumstances.

So maybe you had a few issues in the relationship but not enough to break it off. However since you were under a lot of stress outside of the relationship (for whatever reason) you felt the right thing to do was to break up.

I hear quite a few dumpees saying that the dumper said things to that effect. "I have too much going on/my job is stressful etc." But I'm wondering, from an actual dumper, if you have ever broken up with someone for reasons outside of the relationship. So in fact, you love the person but it's just the wrong time.

And would you consider reconnecting with your ex if and when things settle down?

Thanks 🙂

Have you ever had a difficult breakup then finally gotten over them, only to have them pop up in your life again?

​

When I say difficult I don't mean toxic or anything. I just mean difficulty getting over your ex for whatever reason.

​

If you did finally get over them and they expressed interest in reconnecting as your partner, would you say/have you said yes or no?

​

I know everyone's situation is different.

​

What is the likelihood of those romantic feelings returning after you have made strides to finally free yourself of heartbreak?

​

Would it be worth it for you to try again knowing that you may end up heartbroken again?

​

Again, I'm not talking about relationships that were toxic, abusive or cheating was involved.

Just like the title says, how do you stop yourself from thinking about your ex having sex with someone else?

​

Have you ever had a feeling, thought or knew that your ex was having sex with someone else?

​

I have a feeling that my ex might be doing this and I'll be honest, I just feel nauseous and want to throw up. 😢

​

How do you get that out of your head? Obviously they are going to move on at some point if even it's only sex but I just have a very difficult time with the idea of it.

​

Any advice?

It seems commonplace that a number of avoidants like to remain friends with their exes.

​

Just wondering if any of you decided to remain friends with them after your relationship had ended.

​

If so:

​

How did you manage the dynamics?

​

​

Did that turn into another relationship?

Could you please share some stories of reconciliation?

​

​

1. How long were you together before the breakup?

​

​

​

2. How long did you breakup for?

​

​

3. Did you see other people at that time?

​

​

4. Were you ever in No Contact? If so, for how long?

​

​

5. Were you able to remain a couple after the reconciliation?

​

​

I'm F 57, my ex is M 56.

​

​

Thanks in advance 🙂

​

It's been a week of no contact and so far I'm okay. Mind you I have been in limbo for over a year. So this has been a long time coming.

What can I do or what have you done to try to distance yourself from your ex, emotionally?

I almost wish they had a class or course that I could take! LOL

Anything is helpful.

Thank you 🙂

It's a long story but basically I have been in limbo with my ex for just over a year, shortly after we broke up.

Just wondering if any of your ex avoidants have asked you not to keep in contact with their friends or family.

We were in a relationship for 4 years and of course during that time got very close to his family and some of his friends.

He has asked me not to reach out to them.

Just wondering what your thoughts are on that.

My ex and I are both in our mid fifties. We were together for 4 years.

He broke up with me March 2025. So just over a year.

Since then we have not been without contact for more than one month.

In the recent months he's been messaging me almost daily. I have only reached out to him once or twice in the last few months.

Needless to say we really haven't had time apart. Time to process.

For the life of me I can't understand why he will not end it completely. He says things like:

**** "**right now I don't want a relationship"

**"you never know what can happen in the future"

**"let's just focus on ourselves and see what happens"

**"I know I'm taking a risk by not committing to you right now."

As it stands now, we have decided that he will not contact me anymore. I just don't understand why he is able to end things with past partners with no problem but yet he seems to have difficulty ending it with me. When I ask him why he says "You're not ____ (his ex's name".)

He says he loves me but there are certain things that don't align for him. And he doesn't think he can live with them. I will say that these are regular relationship hiccups but for some reason he's turned them into something big. I guess that's the avoidant in him.

Why will he not let me go?

Any advice or stories to share?