u/pegasusfree

We spend a lot of time here discussing why others don't pick up their trash, but while we are here judging and shaming others, they are simply not going to learn that littering is a matter of public decency. Indians don't like to be told what to do and they will simply resist and continue their actions just to challenge others.

In the past year, I have politely asked people to pick up their trash and have suggested how to dispose of them responsibly. People are very receptive to intervention when it is stated properly. However, there are other points to note. When we see trash in a public park, for example, do we pick it up and put it in the bin? Many don't, because they didn't litter. One thing we can change about ourselves is how we participate in civic duty. When we see trash, we pick it up and dispose of it properly. I am not saying we should do the work of the municipality, but we can certainly go a bit further than what we are already doing. This will set a very good example. When others see us doing this, they will realize that there is no shame in this activity and will follow this themselves. Children will watch and learn. They will teach their parents. The government cannot bear the burden of educating everyone. We can start doing this today and make change.

What do you think? Have you picked up trash that was not yours? Did you do it in front of others? Do you think this can help change public culture towards responsible trash disposal?

Many people are looking for older re-sale properties because the bedrooms are more spacious and there is a view that older properties have better construction. There are some features that are being overlooked.

First and foremost, Karnataka state is a very backward state when it comes to apartment laws. Older apartments that are registered under KAOA 1972 have no registrar to oversee the apartment maintenance and funds expenditures. As a result, there have been many legal issues relating to individual rights and MC (managing committee) overreach. Gated community laws are built such that as per adjournment clause in the bye-laws, a gated community can become a dictatorship after 1 or 2 hours. Ensure you read your bye-laws in the Deed of Declaration before purchase.

Extensive overreach by MCs over the years, introduction of new funds for capital expenditure without proper definitions, and rising cost of maintenance and sinking fund have caused many people to give up their properties for any value they can get, because they are convinced the long-term living cost is not for them.

Re-sale apartments are surely available in plenty, but the owners who are already resident in the gated community scoop up these apartments at a low price and often give them on rent for a high amount. While some people here may be fantasizing the gated community life in an older property, ensure you pay attention to the internal politics. These older residences have established their ruling party, whether they are in power or not. They form the majority and have a visible culture - sometimes that of flouting laws, disregarding the rights of others, and openly displaying their wealth.

If you want to ensure you are moving into a gated community with a culture that agrees with your own values, ask the seller to show the Annual report booklet for the previous 5 years at least. All apartments have such a publication, which is available in electronic format. It will show you the audited financial reports, and other activities that have taken place in the premises. You can also see the names of those who have been on committees. Always ask about court cases. If not, google the association name and check the court case details. Also check if the original construction plan matches with what you see with your eyes before you. Always ask if changes have been made in accordance with KAOA Act. Ensure you read the Act. It is not very long.

Use brain, be smart, don't FOMO.

A lot of young people reading Anna Karenina seem to be unforgiving of her choices and label her as a selfish person. I hope some points will give some perspective on this unfair characterization.

1. Anna "cheating" on her marriage - Over a 100 years ago in Russia, there was no way to leave a marriage, except by being unfaithful or if a spouse dies. The unfaithfulness has to be proved, otherwise no one will grant you a divorce. This is why Karenin searches for Anna's letters. Anna does not initially dislike Karenin. She simply wants a life where she is valued and has some sense of self-fulfillment.
2. Anna is trapped - Karenin does not grant Anna a divorce, because someone has to be recognized as unfaithful. If Anna is recognized as such, she will be publicly humiliated and shunned. If he is recognized as unfaithful, he will lose his own social standing for having done nothing wrong. Anna wants a divorce, but she also wants a respectable position in society - something women were not going to get at that time. Karenin is much older than Anna, and also married her under duress and not because he fell in love with her. Karenin supposes that Anna might change her mind and maybe her relationship with Vronsky is a phase and she may want to come back to him. Anna certainly has doubts about Vronsky towards the end, but she also does not want to go back to Karenin. Vronsky seems to have always intended on keeping his promise to Anna.
3. Anna wants to be treated with dignity - Other female characters who are unfaithful conduct themselves discreetly and out of the public view. Anna wants to live her life with Vronsky in full view of others. She does not see anything wrong in her choices. Her problem is with how society harshly views an unfaithful woman. Her brother is unfaithful all the time, but he is not judged quite as harshly, or at all.
4. Vronsky loves Anna but also wants to be in control - Anna is an intelligent, talented woman. She plays a big role in helping Vronsky be successful in his business ventures. Vronsky appreciates her, but also does not want her ruling entirely over his life. His way of making this known is by not giving in to her every request. Unfortunately, he does not know that he is aggravating her situation by doing so. He is also unaware that Anna cannot have any more children. This may or may not matter, but Anna has assumed it does. By not telling Vronsky, she was simply making her situation worse.
5. Ownership laws - The laws of her time look at women and children as 'property' of the man. For as long as she is married to Karenin, all children she bears will have Karenin as the father. These outdated laws exist in many countries, especially in the third world, even today. Anna's story shows how these laws can complicate marriage and divorce.
6. Anna's dream and desire - Anna, through her reading of "English novels" dreams of a life where she could make decisions and fulfill her potential. Anna also dreams that she will live in harmony with Karenin even after her divorce. She wants her son, and she also wants Vronsky, the two people she loves most in her life. She wants to live in freedom and dignity in society. She does not want to be a "fallen" woman.

Could she have lived with Vronsky but away from society? Yes, but her children will never belong to Vronsky. They will have Karenin's name. She does not want to accept that. She possibly could have continued breaking the official rules of marriage and followed her own path, but there would be no respect for her in society for doing so. She did not just want an affair for fun or novelty. She wanted a whole new life. This was just not possible for her.

I'd love to hear from those who consider Anna selfish. I see her as trapped. I don't think Tolstoy was showing somehow that he felt women couldn't overcome their challenges. I feel he captured how much compromise was necessary, and that these rules were made by men and did not consider a woman's need for self-fulfillment at all.

Anna, like Levin and even Karenin, could have given herself to God, and continued to live out her life, but an important difference is that Levin and Karenin had opportunities for self-fulfillment, while Anna did not. Anna wanted to be a part of bigger things. Women were not allowed that. She was either confined to the home, or going to balls, parties and chit-chatting and socializing. She was good at these things, but it's not what she wanted. Anna Karenina is Tolstoy's recognition of the plight of thinking women.

A lot of young people reading Anna Karenina seem to be unforgiving of her choices and label her as a selfish person. I hope some points will give some perspective on this unfair characterization.

1. Anna "cheating" on her marriage - Over a 100 years ago in Russia, there was no way to leave a marriage, except by being unfaithful or if a spouse dies. The unfaithfulness has to be proved, otherwise no one will grant you a divorce. This is why Karenin searches for Anna's letters. Anna does not initially dislike Karenin. She simply wants a life where she is valued and has some sense of self-fulfillment.

2. Anna is trapped - Karenin does not grant Anna a divorce, because someone has to be recognized as unfaithful. If Anna is recognized as such, she will be publicly humiliated and shunned. If he is recognized as unfaithful, he will lose his own social standing for having done nothing wrong. Anna wants a divorce, but she also wants a respectable position in society - something women were not going to get at that time. Karenin is much older than Anna, and also married her under duress and not because he fell in love with her. Karenin supposes that Anna might change her mind and maybe her relationship with Vronsky is a phase and she may want to come back to him. Anna certainly has doubts about Vronsky towards the end, but she also does not want to go back to Karenin. Vronsky seems to have always intended on keeping his promise to Anna.

3. Anna wants to be treated with dignity - Other female characters who are unfaithful conduct themselves discreetly and out of the public view. Anna wants to live her life with Vronsky in full view of others. She does not see anything wrong in her choices. Her problem is with how society harshly views an unfaithful woman. Her brother is unfaithful all the time, but he is not judged quite as harshly, or at all.

4. Vronsky loves Anna but also wants to be in control - Anna is an intelligent, talented woman. She plays a big role in helping Vronsky be successful in his business ventures. Vronsky appreciates her, but also does not want her ruling entirely over his life. His way of making this known is by not giving in to her every request. Unfortunately, he does not know that he is aggravating her situation by doing so. He is also unaware that Anna cannot have any more children. This may or may not matter, but Anna has assumed it does. By not telling Vronsky, she was simply making her situation worse.

5. Ownership laws - The laws of her time look at women and children as 'property' of the man. For as long as she is married to Karenin, all children she bears will have Karenin as the father. These outdated laws exist in many countries, especially in the third world, even today. Anna's story shows how these laws can complicate marriage and divorce.

6. Anna's dream and desire - Anna, through her reading of "English novels" dreams of a life where she could make decisions and fulfill her potential. Anna also dreams that she will live in harmony with Karenin even after her divorce. She wants her son, and she also wants Vronsky, the two people she loves most in her life. She wants to live in freedom and dignity in society. She does not want to be a "fallen" woman.

Could she have lived with Vronsky but away from society? Yes, but her children will never belong to Vronsky. They will have Karenin's name. She does not want to accept that. She possibly could have continued breaking the official rules of marriage and followed her own path, but there would be no respect for her in society for doing so. She did not just want an affair for fun or novelty. She wanted a whole new life. This was just not possible for her.

I'd love to hear from those who consider Anna selfish. I see her as trapped. I don't think Tolstoy was showing somehow that he felt women couldn't overcome their challenges. I feel he captured how much compromise was necessary, and that these rules were made by men and did not consider a woman's need for self-fulfillment at all.

Anna, like Levin and even Karenin, could have given herself to God, and continued to live out her life, but an important difference is that Levin and Karenin had opportunities for self-fulfillment, while Anna did not. Anna wanted to be a part of bigger things. Women were not allowed that. She was either confined to the home, or going to balls, parties and chit-chatting and socializing. She was good at these things, but it's not what she wanted. Anna Karenina is Tolstoy's recognition of the plight of thinking women.

In many parts of India now, it's SO HOT!

I sweat. My undergarments get drenched in the heat sometimes. Traditional Indian clothes are made to be airy and comfortable, but I find new technology and new clothes to be MORE airy and comfortable. I love wearing baggy shorts because it lets more air in places in my body where heat gets trapped. I also love loose t-shirts.

When I was at a tea stall this past week, one much older woman kept staring and then felt the need to tell me that this is not Indian culture. Sometimes, I wonder what these people are thinking is Indian culture. Is it to be always wearing traditional clothing?

Even Western countries had conservative, covered and layered clothing before. Just look at Victorian dresses. Shorts only came to western countries in the past century. Women slowly transitioned to wearing shorts because they were more practical and comfortable.

I consider myself to be an educated Indian woman and proud of my country and heritage. But I consider being progressive and embracing change also part of my culture and values. Holding on to old ideas just makes us look regressive, not tradition-loving. We focus so much on physical appearance, but not mental content.

In your city or village, do you face these problems with clothing? What can we do to change these perceptions?