u/pink_cottoncandy_

How can I even respond to this question? When people say this, do they not realize it is extremely hurtful and insensitive?

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I have experienced this myself, and have heard it from two other onlies too that they faced this.

For instance, my mom always tells me that I am incredibly selfish and ungrateful and that it is because I am an only child. This used to happen even when me and other people agreed that I showed no signs of selfishness but rather just didn't act like a doormat. My dad told me everyday until I was 10 that he is scared about my future because only children grow up to be incredibly selfish. I used to ignore him whenever he said that, but eventually he stopped when I asked him "Why don't you have other kids to resolve this issue?"

Even now in my early 20s, it was a huge family discussion that I don't want my boundary crossing, entitled, selfish, bratty cousin who I have only met twice in my entire life, to stay with me in my 1 bedroom house which is already filled with four people, because I am an only child and lack the ability to love others.

It is somehow my fault that I am an only child, even though I used to beg for a sibling until my mom crossed the age of conceiving. It is somehow my fault that I act like an only. I don't know if I act as horribly as they describe, because whenever people other than my parents and grandmother hear our interactions in person, they do support me and think my family is being unreasonable.

Anyone else had to deal with such things?

Dear my only true love who became a stranger

You were in your late 20s while I was in my early 20s. You knew I had a chronic illness and gained weight before you led me on. You knew I was actively trying to lose weight when you kept bodyshaming me. You knew I worked with you when you led me on. Yet, you made me feel unlovable, unattractive, and just a worthless person. It's strange, it's been so many months, more than a year, and yet you still can't treat me with respect, cannot talk about me except to humiliate me in front of your pals. You ruined the entire concept of love for me. I still cannot hear my favorite song because it narrates our story.

People blame me for falling in love with you, because they see the heartless, egoistic, rude man. But that's not who I fell in love with. I fell in love with the sweetest boy I have ever met, the boy who is shy, smiles at me often, encourages me to take care of myself when dealing with the pain of my chronic illness. I fell in love with the man who I could rely on when I am in a problem, not the coward who threw me under the bus when admitting his feelings for me felt inconvenient to him.

I was thinking maybe you have improved after I finally walked away, but you are the exact same as I left you. I would have stayed as far away as I could from you if I knew this is what you would become. You are still the same man, who thinks every small interaction means someone is begging you to marry them.

It's strange that the only person I ever loved became a stranger to me. I haven't stopped moving foward in life, but I can never trust anyone with my heart ever again. I used to be a hopeless romantic, understanding, and loving person. You have changed me completely. I don't even see myself ever getting married or even falling in love. You broke my heart completely, and now laugh about me with the people who were spectators to our story and encouraged you to let me go. Do you know, they reached out to me every day after I left? They all wanted something with me, and you couldn't see that.

I am 23 now, and even though people tell me I have a whole lifetime left to give love another chance, they don't understand how much it hurts when I remember how you played with my emotions just to get temporary validation.

Yours truly,

One of the many girls who you used and threw under the bus.

Please pray for me so that I marry a good man very soon, who will be very supportive, loving, caring, and exactly like how I want my husband to be, and we always stay together and have many kids. Ameen

I need advice on how people doing a PhD get into relationships and stay in one, since I heard many stories of how relationships get strained during getting the degree. Many people also aim for postdoc positions and faculty positions, so there are a lot of relocating going on. How do people navigate that?

Edit: I am not sure if it makes any difference but I am in the US and in the field of biosciences.

Are there any communities for incoming PhD students? I know of BME GSAC, but I was wondering if there are any additional communities.

What are some advice you would give to someone starting their PhD soon? It can be do/don't, or some other stuff. Any resources that you found incredibly useful?

Zindagi Mere Ghar Aana had a wonderful cast, good story, and was straightforward without any saas bahu drama. I found the story to show the sacrifice made by doctors, and the grief their family went through upon losing them. The show had a good end too, without any unnecessary dragging. They also showed how families struggled financially, while others had a sudden financial boost. What are your views on the show if you watched it?

My budget is $800-$1400 and I would love some recommendations for one bedroom apartments near U of U. I have checked the ones at different websites already, but I want to know some direct recommendations since it's difficult to know from the online ratings alone.

Please pray for me

Did anyone who graduated this semester get their diploma yet?

I believe adopted children deserve the same amount of love and respect as biological children. That being said, I do find it very odd that Abhira calls her biological daughter, Maira, "Monkey", and her adopted daughter, Mukti, "Babygirl". I also find it absolutely weird that she shows way more concern and love to Mukti than Maira in almost every occasion. Mukti called Maira "bandar" and no one stopped her from calling her that. Later on, Maira started calling Mukti "chakundar" but that doesn't even seem from a point of genuine friendship but rather as a way of responding to being called bandar.

For those who don't know or haven't read my previous post, this is a summary: I am currently a student at a university, doing research in a lab. My research supervisor (not the PI), knew I was applying to several PhD programs. They were looking for a faculty position. Unfortunately, I got rejected from everywhere, but I received some masters opportunities. Then they approached me with a verbal offer that they are going to take me in their lab when they go to a specific university, as a PhD student. I was definitely looking forward to it, but they strung me along for weeks, and now, they are saying they aren't sure if they will even go to the university. Everyone I am telling the situation to is telling me that they did this to give me false hope, lead me on, and minimize the happiness of getting into multiple masters programs. Just to be clear, there were many red flags they have shown before this, but I ignored all of them because I thought it is just a matter of a few months of mentorship.

Update: I had a meeting with the supervisor yesterday, and they said they cannot take me in their lab because I have flaws in me that they cannot tolerate for the next six years. I tried to stay silent through the whole 2 hours of meeting because I didn't want to disrespect them. They said I am not fit to work with other people and I am incapable of being a good PhD student. That really hurt, considering their point of view was totally opposite even last week. Of course, they said many more things that I can't bring myself to write because it is very painful for me. There were other people who heard our conversation, and later told me they thought the supervisor crossed their line by insulting me this way. Needless to say, I won't have a PhD this cycle, but I am happy because at least I am not stuck with someone who insulted me. They still think they are an amazing mentor, even though I am their only mentee, and they insulted me in such a hurtful and unprofessional manner. I am hurt and will distance myself from them without confronting them, and I have decided to show respect to them whenever we meet.