u/plush3627

For the past two years, I’ve been struggling with anxiety, and in June I was officially diagnosed with depression as well. It started halfway through my last year of high school. I thought everything would get better once I passed my exams and got into college, but instead, it became even worse.

My anxiety works in a very uncomfortable way. It started with constant urges to pee every 30 minutes or less. They were usually not real urges, but I couldn’t ignore them because I was terrified I would actually pee myself, creating a never-ending cycle of anxiety.

Because of this, I couldn’t function normally. I always needed to know where the nearest bathroom was. On a trip with my dad, we went to the theater, and after about an hour I had to leave because I was so anxious. I ended up sitting in the bathroom on the verge of tears, feeling miserable that I couldn’t simply enjoy something with my dad. What made it even more confusing was that these situations weren’t necessarily stressful. I didn’t understand why being in public could cause such intense anxiety or how to make it stop.

I stopped attending university after about a month. Even though I had managed to increase the time between bathroom visits to around an hour, I still felt embarrassed about having to run to the bathroom after class. Eventually, I saw a psychiatrist and received a year-long medical leave. Therapy didn’t help much, possibly because my therapist wasn’t the right fit for me.
In December 2025, I fell into a depressive episode. I barely remember what happened between then and March. I stopped leaving my apartment, stopped going to therapy, and told my therapist that I “felt better” because I didn’t know how else to explain that I couldn’t make myself go. I spent most of my days lying in bed and barely moving. I gained 10kg, which was especially noticeable because I’m only 155 cm tall. I also couldn’t start the process of getting my medical leave because I was too afraid to enter my university building. I was supposed to do it in November, but only managed to complete everything by April.

I’m incredibly grateful to my boyfriend, because he helped me get back on my feet before things could get worse. He made me leave the apartment, came with me to the university so I could get my medical leave, and encouraged me to take short walks around the block instead of spending the entire day in bed.

Now, I’m finally starting to do these things on my own. This week, I began the process of returning to university and switching majors because I want to study online and avoid the stress I experienced last year. I went to the bank alone to get paperwork for my new apartment. I went to my university by myself just two days after receiving an email saying my documents were ready. I can now do these things without immediately feeling like I need a bathroom. Sometimes I can even go three hours without needing one.

These may seem like small things, but to me they’re proof that I’m becoming a normal, independent person again. I still struggle with my body image, and it can make me feel insecure in public, but I’ve found some cute outfits that make me feel more comfortable while I work toward eventually joining my boyfriend at the gym.
It’s still difficult to force myself to do things, and I’m definitely not completely recovered. But I’m trying to take things one day at a time. For the first time in a long time, I can actually see myself getting better.

both me and my friend are 19 at the time. we were on a walk with my friend and came to her apartment for like 5 minutes so she could change and i could use the toilet. before i went, she said “my cat pooped there, but it’s not something out of the ordinary for you”.

i walk in and see a filled litter box, that clearly hasn’t been cleaned for at least two days. behind the toilet i see a dry pile of poop. i don’t know if that was the cat or her dog, but it doesn’t matter, since the dogs pee pad is literally dark yellow and also hasn’t been changed in days. i didn’t say anything, went out and sat down to pat the cat itself. this is a very fluffy cat, which has to be brushed at least twice a week to maintain her fur. her fur was matted all over her, especially under her chin. this type of matting would only be solved by cutting it off. then i walk into her kitchen and see the most cheap kibble that you can buy in a grocery store, which was my last point.

i suggested she buy a better kibble, since the one that she had wheat being first in the ingredients list. she got defensive and said that her cat has been eating it for past two years and is fine. she also mentioned that they tried different kibbles but this is the one she eats. all the other ones she mentioned are not good either. i tried to explain why it’s bad and what type of ingredients a good kibble should have, and suggested her to try the one i feed my cats with. what happened after was a debate on how it does affect her, that she is not overweight or has any diseases from it, and that they had vet appointments and she is fine. i tried to explain that this is basically fast food for cats and even though she eats it, doesn’t mean it’s good or that it gives her all the nutrients she needs to be full and healthy.

i also said that this type of kibble will have negative affects on her cats life in the long run, and i hope she would want to reduce any health risks for her cat when she’s old. again, all of it went nowhere, she argued that it’s none of my business and she already said her cat is fine with it. she also said that just because i’m obsessed with my cats doesn’t mean i can give unwanted advice to people. again, i was explaining why my knowledge could help her cats life, but after that the argument got personal and i left.

we already apologized to each other about it, i apologized for pushing the argument further when she stated that it’s not something she cares about. i am VERY passionate about my pets and animals in general. i have two cornish rexes and try my best to give them the best life. their litter box is always clean, they eat truly good kibble that doesn’t cost a fortune but gives them all the nutrients and has meat as a first ingredient, veggies, fruit, vitamins and taurine. my cats are extremely healthy and happy. i experienced first hand what wrong kibble can do to the cat(dogs too!) and after that i became cautious about this topic.

i know some may argue that she might not have the money or the time to sustain good conditions for her pets. well, she does. she has more than enough money to buy good kibble once a month. and you don’t need to be home 24/7 to keep the litter box clean, you can clean it in the morning or at night once a day if you are not home all the time. she doesn’t just because “it grosses her out”, and her mom does it for her. as for the cats fur, i didn’t push it there because she did explain that the cat reacts aggressively to any type of grooming, which i can’t argue with, you don’t want the pet to be stressed out all the time.

why do i care? because i think if you get a pet(especially as an adult), you should be able to give them the life they deserve, at the end of the day you yourself don’t shit in a dirty toilet or eat fast food for every meal. i do agree that i pushed it too hard, since she clearly didn’t care, but i can’t stand when people do the bare minimum when they have the funds to do more.

AITAH for arguing about it? did i have a point there? or should’ve i just kept it to myself despite what my beliefs are on animal care?

EDIT: thank you everyone for giving your advice! i do see that i should’ve focused on the litter box situation instead of kibble. i was scared she’d take it as me shaming her cleanliness as a whole, but i guess she should’ve been shamed. i will try to get to her by bringing it up more in a gentle manner, so another fight wouldn’t happen. i also saw a lot of comments about calling the animal rescue services, it would be my last resort if no improvement will happen by just taking about it more.