The application deadline was Sep 28, and first interviews are scheduled for Oct 13. It's now Friday, Oct 9, around 5pm (by the time I wrote it), and I haven't heard anything. Is there still a chance I'll get an invitation on Monday, Oct 12, or should I assume I didn't make the shortlist?
I applied for a PhD position around 2 weeks ago. I contacted the professors and they said the first selection should be done by July 25 at the latest. Today is the 25th and I haven’t received anything yet. Does this mean that I have been rejected?
My ex and I (both master's students) dated for 1.5 years and broke up yesterday. I'm struggling because of the hurtful things he said afterward, and I don't know if ending the relationship was the right decision.
Our relationship started almost immediately after his breakup with his ex. For the first eight months, I constantly felt he wasn't over her. Whenever I asked for reassurance, he told me I was just sabotaging our relationship. Eventually, I found unsent letters and sent email where he wrote that she was still the love of his life and that maybe they'd end up together in another life. Later, about four months after we officially became a couple, I found messages where he asked a friend if she had a new boyfriend because he planned to move back home and "wanted to make sure there was nothing left." He apologized, and we agreed to move forward.
Throughout the relationship, I also supported him financially by lending him money multiple times (a significant amount for master's student). He stayed with me rent-free for two months to save money, which I genuinely didn't mind because I knew he was struggling. However, I sometimes felt pulled into his family's financial problems as well. One time, his mom asked me to get him a gift on her behalf but then never ask the price or offered to pay me back, it's not really the money for me but more of mannerism.
After the incident involving his ex, something changed in me. Although I thought I'd forgiven him, I completely shut down physically. For the next five months, I couldn't be intimate—not just with him, but at all. He interpreted that as rejection, which became another recurring source of conflict, even though I could see he was genuinely trying to become a better boyfriend.
Two weeks ago, while he was away, I started thinking seriously about my future and decided I wanted to pursue my dream career wherever the best opportunity was. When I told him, he asked where he fit into those plans. I said I didn't think we needed to decide our entire future yet and that we could figure it out if that situation ever happened. He took that as a lack of commitment.
Yesterday, I ended the relationship because I realized I wasn't willing to sacrifice my personal goals, and I also felt he deserved someone whose vision for the future matched his. His response was to call me, to my face, a fearful, spoiled, selfish bi*ch, borderline arrogant, and accuse me of using him until I got what I wanted from the relationship. That accusation hurt deeply because I genuinely feel like I gave my all. Later, he texted me: "Fu*k you. I'm done with you. You chose to end the relationship like a fu*king coward. You used me. I hope the next one hurts you really bad." He then blocked me.
At the same time, I understand why the breakup probably felt sudden to him. From his perspective, we had been doing okay. I hadn't really communicated how much I'd been emotionally withdrawing or how much I'd been questioning the relationship, so I can understand why he felt blindsided and abandoned. I honestly feel very guilty about that. He texted me again today asking if my decision was final. I'm certain I don't want to get back together, but I still feel guilty for hurting him this way.
I know I was the one who ended the relationship, but I genuinely thought we could separate respectfully. Instead, I feel like I lost both my partner and my best friend. Looking back, what could I have done differently to communicate my feelings before ending the relationship? Given how he reacted afterward, would it be healthier to leave things as they are, or is there a way to respond to his last message for an okay-ish closure?
My BF (24M) and I (24F) have been together for 1.5 years. We're from different countries and met while studying abroad. Now that we've graduated, I want to stay here because I see better career opportunities, while he wants to move back to his home country. We’re thinking to try long distance.
Recently, he asked about my long-term plans and where he fits into them. I told him I want to do my graduate degree here first, and after that I honestly don't know. I might stay, move back home, or even move somewhere else depending on opportunities.
He then asked, "What if we want to settle down, you have a great career there and want to stay, but I don't have a place there?" I told him that's something we'll figure out together when the time comes. I don't think it's something we need to stress about now because it's a hypothetical future, and we're only 24. I felt like he was pushing me to give an answer to a question that simply doesn't exist yet.
He said he just wanted reassurance and felt I couldn't give him the commitment he needed. I explained that I'm not rejecting a future together. I just don't want to make promises about something neither of us can predict.
When I said I might not want to move back to either of our home countries because my field has fewer opportunities there, he sighed and laughed, which felt really disrespectful. He said that a person should be active on shaping the life they wanted and not just waiting and looking for opportunities wherever it is. I said well true but life isn’t just about effort, bcs opportunities and luck play a big part of it.
Then he told me I only think this way because I grew up "privileged and sheltered." That really crossed a line. I understand why stability is important to him because of his upbringing, and I've never judged him for that. But having my perspective dismissed because of how I grew up felt unfair and offensive.
Now I'm wondering if this is a difference in how we view the future, or it's something that we can work on (though idk how)? Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR - We’re going to do LDR and I’m unsure on where I want to stay in the long future as it depends on career opportunities. My bf thinks I’m uncommitted and doesn’t include him within my plan.
My BF (24M) and I (24F) have been together for 1.5 years. We're from different countries and met while studying abroad. Now that we've graduated, I want to stay here because I see better career opportunities, while he wants to move back to his home country. We’re thinking to try long distance.
Recently, he asked about my long-term plans and where he fits into them. I told him I want to do my graduate degree here first, and after that I honestly don't know. I might stay, move back home, or even move somewhere else depending on opportunities.
He then asked, "What if we want to settle down, you have a great career there and want to stay, but I don't have a place there?" I told him that's something we'll figure out together when the time comes. I don't think it's something we need to stress about now because it's a hypothetical future, and we're only 24. I felt like he was pushing me to give an answer to a question that simply doesn't exist yet.
He said he just wanted reassurance and felt I couldn't give him the commitment he needed. I explained that I'm not rejecting a future together. I just don't want to make promises about something neither of us can predict.
When I said I might not want to move back to either of our home countries because my field has fewer opportunities there, he sighed and laughed, which felt really disrespectful. He said that a person should be active on shaping the life they wanted and not just waiting and looking for opportunities wherever it is. I said well true but life isn’t just about effort, bcs opportunities and luck play a big part of it.
Then he told me I only think this way because I grew up "privileged and sheltered." That really crossed a line. I understand why stability is important to him because of his upbringing, and I've never judged him for that. But having my perspective dismissed because of how I grew up felt unfair and offensive.
Now I'm wondering if this is a difference in how we view the future, or it's something that we can work on (though idk how)? Any advice would be appreciated.
I’m an Indonesian currently finishing master’s in Ag Econ at a target uni in Benelux. I went straight from undergrad, which I completed at one of Indonesia’s top 3 uni in Agri field.
My experience is mainly an internship on an EU-funded ecological & env econ project, plus two government projects back home related to local investment analysis and sustainability development planning.
While Jakarta seems like the obvious choice, I’m actually more interested in KL as my first choice. My concern is whether applying to KL makes sense. Would that put me at a significant disadvantage compared to applying to Jakarta? Also, based on my profile, how competitive would I be for MBB recruiting in the region?
Would love to hear any thoughts on both the office choice and my chances!