u/potentiallygoodchoic

This will be vague but I can answer questions if necessary by DM.

Wanna start by saying everyone in the post is in an incredibly privileged position and we know it and are very grateful for it. We also know how quickly things can fall apart when major medical thing crop up, and we have good evidence to believe that that may become the case for us.

Ok to the situation: H and Z are my parents. They are wonderful and have always been incredibly supportive. They are also thankfully currently pretty healthy. Both in their early to mid 70s. They were smart with their money and now own a good house in a good area debt free, valued at around $700k. My sister, let’s call her SOS, has two kids, Niece NI and nephew NE who I love dearly. SOS and her partner BT own their own home about 3 minutes down the street from H&Z, spend a lot of time at H & Z’s Lived there for a 6 months rent free in the in law apartment with their 2 young and complicated kids when SOS was going through her divorce. their house is valued at about $621k but I don’t know the debt situation and they are aggressively redoing the whole whole thing while living there.

In fairness, I also lived in that in-law apartment for about a year when I was healing from a major surgery, AND I paid rent and got out as soon as I could. I ended up buying a condo in a great area and the value should only go up. The condo is about half an hour away from H&Z (and SOS, BT, NE and NI) we all spend a lot of time together during this time.

Then, I meet my eventual husband M and move in with him about 45 minutes from H&Z but we might as well be on the moon for all the casual dinners we get invited to. We tell them we’re happy to pop over on a weeknight, just let us know! Quickly the people all living at the $700k house have their own routines with each other, and without me or my new partner. (Stick with me).

As I mentioned, SOS is going through a challenging divorce, so M and I agree that ill move in to his place rent free so SOS can move into my condo the weekends she doesn’t have the kids and get a little space from our parents. She gives the impression that payment isn’t an option so fine. They’re family. Ill only lose a few months of potential rent but ill have done a good thing. M and I decide to do the good thing.

And now, to the present: K has come to me telling me that she and H want to leave their house to only one of us, so one of us doesn’t have to buy the other out when my parents pass. This was SOS’s idea, K is just letting me know and now does not want to be involved.

AM I CRAZY OR IS MY SISTER IS JUST ASKING ME TO GIVE UP at least $350k????? And possibly flipping her own house to end up with some kind of windfall??? And then kind of waiting with bated breath for my parents to kick it!?

If you see another way to read it, please let me know. I want to try to be generous in my interpretation but there’s a little voice that’s saying they’re flipping their current house and hoping that that timing will coincide with when my parents will be leaving their house, which to me should NOT BE ANY TIME SOON, BTW. I think they want to age in place for as long as possible, and I hate that we’re even talking about this.

TL;DR: my sister asked our parents to leave their home only to her in their will without any sort of buyout for me, and house is currently worth $700k+. My sister and her partner also already own a home right in the same area that is valued around $621k. Am I missing something that make this not completely f me over????
Thank you!

This will be vague but I can answer questions if necessary by DM.

Wanna start by saying everyone in the post is in an incredibly privileged position and we know it and are very grateful for it. We also know how quickly things can fall apart when major medical thing crop up, and we have good evidence to believe that that may become the case for us.

Some background: H and Z are my parents. They are wonderful and have always been incredibly supportive. They are also thankfully currently pretty healthy. Both in their early to mid 70s. They were smart with their money and now own a good house in a good area debt free, valued at around $700k. My sister, let’s call her SOS, has two kids, Niece NI and nephew NE who I love dearly. SOS and her partner BT own their own home about 3 minutes down the street from H&Z, spend a lot of time at H & Z’s. They lived there for a 6 months rent free in the in law apartment with their 2 young and complicated kids when SOS was going through her divorce from her ex. SOS and BTs current house is valued at about $621k but I don’t know the debt situation and they are aggressively redoing the whole whole thing while living there.

In fairness, I also lived in that in-law apartment for about a year when I was healing from a major surgery, AND I paid rent and got out as soon as I could. I ended up buying a condo in a great area and the value should only go up. The condo is about half an hour away from H&Z (and SOS, BT, NE and NI) we all spend a lot of time together during this time.

Then, I meet my eventual husband M and move in with him about 45 minutes from H&Z but we might as well be on the moon for all the casual dinners we get invited to. We tell them we’re happy to pop over on a weeknight, just let us know! Quickly the people all living at the $700k house have their own routines with each other, and without me or my new partner. (Stick with me).

As I mentioned, SOS is going through a challenging divorce, so M and I agree that ill move in to his place rent free so SOS can move into my condo the weekends she doesn’t have the kids and get a little space from our parents. She gives the impression that payment isn’t an option so fine. They’re family. Ill only lose a few months of potential rent but ill have done a good thing. M and I decide to do the good thing. My only condition is I don’t want BT staying nights because I don’t want to take sides in the messy divorce.

And now, to the present: Z has come to me telling me that she and H want to leave their house to only one of us, so one of us doesn’t have to buy the other out when my parents pass. This was SOS’s idea, Z is just letting me know and now does not want to be involved.

AM I CRAZY OR IS MY SISTER IS JUST ASKING ME TO GIVE UP at least $350k????? And possibly flipping her own house to end up with some kind of windfall??? And then kind of waiting with bated breath for my parents to kick it!? And, not for nothing, but I know my free condo was essentially a shag shack 🤢

If you see another way to read it, please let me know. I want to try to be generous in my interpretation but there’s a little voice that’s saying they’re flipping their current house and hoping that that timing will coincide with when my parents will be leaving their house, which to me should NOT BE ANY TIME SOON, BTW. I think they want to age in place for as long as possible, and I hate that we’re even talking about this.

TL;DR: my sister asked our parents to leave their home only to her in their will without any sort of buyout for me, and house is currently worth $700k+. My sister and her partner also already own a home right in the same area that is valued around $621k. Am I missing something that make this not completely f me over????
Thank you!

Edited to fix some letter mistakes

For example, when I sit in a chair I can feel my butt bones, it kind of hurts to turn over in bed bc I have all these weird pressure points and I swear to god im peeing differently.

Please someone else tell me im not crazy, especially about the peeing thing 🤦🏻‍♀️

Edited to add: my fellow weight losers, im so sad to hear about all this muscle loss! I know it’s hard but let’s get some resistance training going! It truly has made all the difference in making me feel capable of doing life throughout my 80+lb loss, and I still have *some* butt! Still very proud of all of us and appreciate all of the comments!