u/putitontheunderhills

Title: FOR YOU

Genre: Thriller/Comedy

Format: Feature

Pages: 1-10 (work in progress)

Concerns: Want to know if the idea is hooking people early. Trying to intro four major characters and the basic premise in 10 pages.

Logline: "When a financially-strapped married couple embarks on a treasure hunt in Yellowstone National Park, they discover they're actually the prey in a tech billionaire's yearly human hunt."

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bag7-jDf4edlUYt2zdRcOFODXvXr57O_/view?usp=sharing

I feel like there is a wide spectrum of possible answers to this question. The spectrum might look something like this:

- Only a page-one rewrite results in a new draft

- Any major scene or character additions or subtractions result in new drafts

- Any significant full-script passes, like for a single character's dialogue, or action line brevity, or proofreading, result in new drafts

- Any time you make any change whatsoever, that's a new draft.

And probably several levels of granularity possible between those.

Now obviously this is only about drafts *after* the first one. We all know you don't have a "first draft" until you get to the end the first time.

Title: ONE MORE ONCE

Format: Feature

Genre: Romantic Comedy / Thriller

Pages: 107

Logline: A stand-up comic in witness protection joins a local theater production to win over the stage manager he's falling for, but when the mob hitman after him arrives in town, he stands to lose everything.

Link to PDF

I've read most of the "story structure" gurus in the space (at least I think I have)... Campbell, McKee, Snyder, Truby. They all come at story in different ways and recommend "systems" for determining what your story is. Sometimes the structure is very strict (Snyder and Truby, e.g.).

So... what do *you* do? I followed Snyder's Beat Sheet closely for one script, then Truby's 22 Steps for another. Both felt good in some ways, constrictive in others.

For my next one I'm just considering a free-form outline instead of something more structured.

What do you do?

I put this together as a little brainstorming helper for myself. I'm a software developer by trade so I build little tools for myself all the time, I like the way this one came out so I want to share it.

No account needed, no money, subs, payments, blah blah blah. If you want to save (and download) the premises you spin up, a simple login-by-email will let you do that.

I honestly think this isn't breaking the rules as I read them, but if it is, mea culpa.

It's The Jackplot: A slot machine for story premises.

https://thejackplot.com

I put this together as a little brainstorming helper for myself. I'm a software developer by trade so I build little tools for myself all the time, I like the way this one came out so I want to share it.

No account needed, no money, subs, payments, blah blah blah. If you want to save (and download) the premises you spin up, a simple login-by-email will let you do that.

I honestly think this isn't breaking the rules as I read them, but if it is, mea culpa.

It's The Jackplot: A slot machine for story premises.

https://thejackplot.com

I put this together for myself and was having fun with it, so I opened it up to others. No account needed unless you want to save the premises that you randomly spin.

The Jackplot: A slot machine for story premises.

https://thejackplot.com

Title: Destination Unknown

Genre: Coming-of-Age Comedy/Drama

Format: Feature

Page Length: 79

Logline: In the summer of 1999, a sixteen-year-old skate punk from Danville recruits his three best friends on a quixotic East Bay search for the mystery girl he kissed at a Berkeley punk show, never noticing that the right girl is the one helping him look.

Feedback Concerns: This is a first draft. I know it needs more but I am looking for feedback on the characters, the premise, and just generally anything that is working or you think is not working. I'm not trying to tell a heavier/darker story, this is not "Kids" or anything adjacent.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1McDaOuY0Tv1-iP78YB6IX2U7gwt8PirO/view?usp=drive_link

Title: DESTINATION UNKNOWN

Format: Feature

Page Length: 14 (so far)

Genres: Comedy, Romance

Logline: In the summer of 1999, an East Bay skate punk who can't quite skate hunts for a girl he kissed at one punk show, while true love railslides next to him the whole time.

Feedback Concerns: This is just the opening of the story, roughly through to the Catalyst moment, the break into Act II won't be far behind. Looking for feedback on the opening scenes, the characters, anything really. Just a gut check as I reflect on the initial work. Also... is any of it funny?

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zNYEdgarrh4o6egyf_39xCY_ehZJzskM/view?usp=drive_link