u/raggedsweater

TLDR: After losing thirty pounds through disciplined tracking, I drifted into quietly gaming my calorie and macro targets for nearly two years, convinced I was still progressing while my body fat stayed stuck between 18% and 22%. This year, following the MacroFactor workout program I’ve made solid strength gains after learning to follow it as my coach. Then I realized I needed to extend that same trust to my nutrition. Going back to hitting my macros and calories precisely, no more negotiating with the system.

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About two years ago, I discovered MacroFactor and began following it with genuine discipline. I aimed to hit my individual macros and stay as close as possible to my daily calorie target. Starting in December, I lost 30 lbs before April. It was one of the most effective periods of progress I have experienced. It was exactly what I needed after having gained that weight during the pandemic and after twice becoming a parent.

Somewhere along the way, however, I drifted into a subtler and more troubling pattern. I began treating the app less as a guide and more as an obstacle to outmaneuver. I permitted myself indulgent days, reasoning that I would simply compensate by eating less on subsequent ones. I made a habit of coming in under my caloric goal by a 100 or 200 calories, convincing myself this was a form of discipline rather than a quiet unraveling of the very system that had worked so well previously.

Throughout that period, I never noticed decline in strength at the gym. My strength improved, but I’d also experience occasional injuries. I looked pretty good in the mirror… especially better after those 30 lbs came off. Looking back at photos and my weight log, I evidently spent the better part of two years oscillating between 18% to 22% body fat, a fact I could have recognized far sooner had I looked honestly rather than hopefully. My clothes have loosened, then fit, then tightened again.

Then, this year, MacroFactor introduced its workout program, and I approached it with the same faith I once had in the nutrition side. I started off wanting to “beat” the rep ranges it set for me, believing that was what true failure meant. As a result, my strength gains continued to improve… until I hit another set back. Usually it was some form of tendinitis. First in the shoulder, then the elbow, so on so forth. Finally, I started following the Workouts app for what it was. I started to trust the program as I would a coach, without attempting to negotiate with it. Progress is slower now, but the injuries are not there and I feel confident.

Tonight it hit me. Why was I willing to follow the workout program without further reservation, yet unwilling to extend that same trust to the nutrition side, despite having seen it work? Why did I feel compelled to outsmart a system that had already proven itself sound? I am also, quite plainly, paying a subscription for this application. It seems rather counterproductive to pay for expert guidance and then spend my energy trying to circumvent it.

The epiphany, if I can call it that, is a simple one. I am not smarter than the app. The path forward is to return to the same faith I once had at the outset. Hit the macros. Hit the calories. Stop coming in under, stop the compensations, and stop the yo-yoing that has kept me circling the same numbers for two years. It is time to finally move below eighteen percent and see what trusting the process fully can actually do.

Hopefully, I will get to reference this post by the end of the year when I reach my goal. See you then.

Well… first day, I saw myself as the fittest dad in the park. Come day 2 and day 3, I see a few dads who are better shape. We plan to go again in October at another state when visiting my sister. This is good motivation and there’s a good short term goal.

Edit: I finally got home, and reading through the comments has been interesting. Didn’t expect the backlash, but it’s given me something to think about.

I think any health conscious person, especially over 40, would still take stock of their surroundings in that kind of environment. I figured this would be even more true for me since family is the whole reason I care about staying healthy in the first place.

For context, I wasn’t walking around with six pack abs judging dads who didn’t have them (I hover around 20-22% body fat myself). But it’s hard not to notice that a lot of younger dads could probably stand to rethink some choices.

I get how my original post read like I was proud to be fitter than other dads. That’s not it. I was proud that it was obvious I’d prioritized health for my family’s sake. At a family water park, it’s a little sad seeing so many overweight parents and kids. Maybe that reaction is maladaptive, like some of you pointed out, but I’m not trying to judge anyone. I just know that without making health a priority, I’d probably be in the same spot.

I think about my own family too. I’m over a decade older than my cousins, and every one of us struggles with weight. I’m just the only one who’s actually worked at managing it. I used to carry some of them on my shoulders as a teenager, and now they’re all bigger than me. For their health and their families’ sake, I want to encourage them to eat better and move more. But it’s tough to push change when there’s no desire on their end. The second I bring it up, they assume I’m judging them.

Happy Father’s Day to the dads out there getting spoiled today. Truly, you’ve earned every bit of it. Soak it up.

To the ones where today looks pretty normal or maybe something less… no breakfast in bed, no hug or hand drawn cards or even the “happy Father’s Day, Dad”. I just want you to know you’re seen. This sub sees you.

Some of us have partners going through their own hard stuff, kids too young to know what day it is, or just circumstances that don’t line up with what today’s “supposed” to look like. You can probably tell I’m going through this myself which prompted this post, but this isn’t about me. This is also a thank you to this community.

Being a good dad was never about one day anyway. It’s always been about them. We can look around and see in each other the 3am wake-ups, the patience we didn’t know we had, the showing up again and again when nobody’s keeping score. We dads recognize in each other that we are trying the best we can and the best we know. We aren’t perfect and we make mistakes, but we don’t take a holiday off, and neither does the love your kids have for you, even if you don’t hear it.

Hope today still finds you a little peace. You’re doing better than you think.

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I'm looking into whether it might be worth getting fractional weight plates. Would like to progress with my barbell OHP, but I seem to be stalling between 120 and 135 lbs since the beginning of the year. Also stalling between at 210 and 225 bench press. Part of it is mental, I think, because I don't have a spotter (I'll ask if someone's there, but sometimes not because I work out late at night).

Anyone else carry these in your gym bag? Any recommendations?