u/raliexa

Who IS whybie? Genuinely curious what does it mean

first off im not tryna diagnose myself im trying to get an idea I’ve been trying to understand what’s going on with me because my mood has been following a pretty consistent pattern for a while, but I still can’t make sense of it. I genuinely wake up every day not knowing who I’m going to be or how I’m going to feel, and that uncertainty has been exhausting and painful.
I can spend a long time in a very depressed state, sometimes feeling completely hopeless and like everything in my life is closed off. Then seemingly out of nowhere, I’ll have a day where I feel completely different — extremely elevated, energetic, motivated, social, creative, and almost like the entire world has opened back up to me. Usually these periods last around a day, sometimes two days. Then I’ll go back down again, sometimes pretty severely.
The strangest part is how completely different everything feels depending on which state I’m in. When I’m depressed, I can’t understand how I could ever feel okay again. When I’m doing well, I almost can’t understand how I was ever that depressed. It makes me question my own experiences and feel like I’m constantly losing my understanding of myself.
I suspect bipolar II or another bipolar-spectrum condition because during these elevated periods I experience what seem like hypomania symptoms, but the periods I’ve experienced so far don’t last the number of days normally required for a hypomanic episode. That’s what makes me unsure. I’m not trying to diagnose myself — I’m trying to understand what might potentially be going on and get some idea of what I should be looking into.
I also have ADHD and have had substance use during some of these periods, which makes everything harder to interpret. I’m currently trying to stay sober because I want to see what my mood actually does without substances interfering with it.
I’ve been writing everything down for about a month because my memory of these states is terrible, and I’m hoping having an actual record will make things clearer. I can’t really get proper psychiatric help right now because my family doesn’t want to take me to a psychiatrist, so I’m basically trying to understand this on my own for the time being. If I’m eventually able to see a psychiatrist, I at least want to have some idea of what I’m looking into and be able to explain the pattern clearly.
Honestly, this has been really painful to live with. I just want to understand myself and know whether there’s an explanation for why I keep feeling like a completely different person from one day to the next.

first off im not tryna diagnose myself im trying to get an idea I’ve been trying to understand what’s going on with me because my mood has been following a pretty consistent pattern for a while, but I still can’t make sense of it. I genuinely wake up every day not knowing who I’m going to be or how I’m going to feel, and that uncertainty has been exhausting and painful.
I can spend a long time in a very depressed state, sometimes feeling completely hopeless and like everything in my life is closed off. Then seemingly out of nowhere, I’ll have a day where I feel completely different — extremely elevated, energetic, motivated, social, creative, and almost like the entire world has opened back up to me. Usually these periods last around a day, sometimes two days. Then I’ll go back down again, sometimes pretty severely.
The strangest part is how completely different everything feels depending on which state I’m in. When I’m depressed, I can’t understand how I could ever feel okay again. When I’m doing well, I almost can’t understand how I was ever that depressed. It makes me question my own experiences and feel like I’m constantly losing my understanding of myself.
I suspect bipolar II or another bipolar-spectrum condition because during these elevated periods I experience what seem like hypomania symptoms, but the periods I’ve experienced so far don’t last the number of days normally required for a hypomanic episode. That’s what makes me unsure. I’m not trying to diagnose myself — I’m trying to understand what might potentially be going on and get some idea of what I should be looking into.
I also have ADHD and have had substance use during some of these periods, which makes everything harder to interpret. I’m currently trying to stay sober because I want to see what my mood actually does without substances interfering with it.
I’ve been writing everything down for about a month because my memory of these states is terrible, and I’m hoping having an actual record will make things clearer. I can’t really get proper psychiatric help right now because my family doesn’t want to take me to a psychiatrist, so I’m basically trying to understand this on my own for the time being. If I’m eventually able to see a psychiatrist, I at least want to have some idea of what I’m looking into and be able to explain the pattern clearly.
Honestly, this has been really painful to live with. I just want to understand myself and know whether there’s an explanation for why I keep feeling like a completely different person from one day to the next.

12 leaky windows just drop and I just cried to it first listen. what the hell did he put in this song
I fear album’s gonna have me worse but can’t waitt

Been fucking loving listening to this song for too long on SoundCloud wish I could listen to it on Spotify
will it ever drop on Spotify?? Hope he does drop it lwk

My past few months have been awful. Before I even started any kind of drug, I always had the urge to get high or do anything, even at the age of 11. I barely have friends, and none of them really did drugs, so I couldn’t get a dealer.
Earlier this year, when my life started turning terrible and I was drinking over 10 bottles of DXM in 3 weeks or something, I decided I’d look for one online. After years of avoiding one It was the most anxious week of my life. The anxiety of finding a plug, getting from a plug, or interacting with new people in general terrifies me.
The only legit dealer I found recently went MIA, and I don’t have a current plug. Going through the cycle of finding one again, with the risk of not finding one, terrifies me. I’m at a state in life where I’m holding onto a thread not to kms, and I know life gets better later, so I just want to keep doing it until this certain period of my life ends. But I don’t have a plug and don’t want to stop because nothing else helps me during this current time, but I also can’t go through the anxiety to treat my anxiety again. It’s either I risk my life or idk my fate falls with luck

Came here just to say how much this song is so addicting and not talked abt enough I listen to most if not all glos songs daily and this one is def a one I always come back to

I genuinely need more suicideboys songs that are similar vibe to the Sedating angelic background music with calm rap after vibe like

Sold my soul to Satan
Leave your things behind
Monochromatic
Whatever floats your boat..
Kill yourself V
My flaws burn..
Drugs/hoes/money/etc.
My scars…
Vices
Are u going to see the rose…
Full of grace

And more but these are the ones I can mention on the top of my head only