u/ranaji55

I am 46years old guy who's lived most of my life in Pakistan and got diagnosed last year with ASD and ADHD with ASD mild and ADHD, well, I honestly lost interest and focus. So, you get the picture if you have been there. If your kids are mild at level 1, this is for you.

I spent an entire year going through various hoops and what not. I have come to terms with it and I have only been to therapist and psychologist 3 times including the diagnosis. While my ADHD is extremely annoying (because only NOW I know why) but my unique personality, masking my social behavior, the unique opportunities I got in my life thanks to no one knowing about them all of them were Alhamdulillah such that I am OKAY now with the diagnosis and grateful to my luck (I just don't believe in luck much but I am doing/saying many things I never did in my life so...) that I did get diagnosed. So, here is where I stand:

- I self-taught myself coding in 1999 and ran an intl. website on arts, science and www and all sorts of people and even Pentagon/DoD would visit it sometimes

- I switched to Digital Marketing because I thought in 2007 that programming would be very very advanced and in-depth already.

- I have run two cross-border ecommerce websites whose brand we built it from scratch and while one is on hiatus, the other stood the test of time for 25 years, I kid you not.

- I also co-founded a digital agency where I worked on every brand 90% of which you all use, buy, eat or shop so I was extremely lucky again to be at the right time, right team. We ran that for 12 years. I was called professor at the agency, head of Marketing at HBL popularized it coz I was headstrong, (read poor social skills) and talked a lot (again poor social skills).

- I studied master's level books in my Bachelors for European History coz I didn't have friends or anyone to guide me and I never joined any University. I majored in EU History, English Literature. Many years later, I studied and majored Foreign Policy of USA and Russian politics on my own while I had 3 kids and completed my master's.

- I am determined to complete my MPhil in Cultural Anthropology if I don't have to join a University even at this age but let's see.

- I have reinvented myself twice successfully and going for third time part of which is when I got diagnosed.

- I have appeared on Pakistani News Channels both as IT Expert (I hated that term) and Geopolitics expert separately for over 3 years.

- I have never felt so proud in my life talking about myself until now.

Challenges I faced: I never gave a damn about the world but suffered with very low-self-esteem throughout my life. Never knew why. Both didn't add up. Never had a friend I could tell my secrets, openly questioned and thought for the longest periods of time why people have secrets. Took me many years to come to terms reluctantly that it's good to have secrets because Islam not only allowed but encouraged to not share. Shrugged off coz I was the over-sharing guy always. That never got me any friends either. I threw tantrums at the smallest client's problems, if a friend showed up late or if Wife changed my pillows orders (ortho stays at front, cotton at the back). Never knew how to express gratitude, praise anyone including wife. Alway connected or tried to connect the dots and compared people, religions, entities, histories which either never made sense to people or they got angry because of how my mind made connections. They only put up with me because in Pakistan if you are seen as successful or if you are very learned (while I have only lowly MA, I have already completed half of my M.Phil on self-study but no Uni would take me and I have studied tons of books since I was little which was a coping mechanism but the world and I didn't see it that way until now).

Bottom Line: My struggles have been real esp. when I am an outspoken person, reason well though I have long-winding train of thoughts and I had a lot of people around me who depended on me for one or the other thing (how many programmers you know since 99 who are ready to help you for whatever you need just to fit in but only to find everyone just uses you and forgets you). BUT BUT BUT, I have three amazing kids two of which are likely ASD (I am taking them to a screening tomorrow) and one probably ADHD but except for the ADHD one, 16yr and 13yr old both have done fairly well in academics on their own with no tuition, terrible shitty schools as they are in Pakistan and probably will never have good friends as I struggled all of my life. But I am HERE until I am alive to tell them, fuck everyone and everything. The world is not enough for you. Get up and do your part and die at peace. I would give everything to make them succeed and have a semi-normal life. For my wife, I don't think one life is enough to repay debt for her and the worst part is I have always hurt her with my blunt, socially-poor and outspoken criticism of her caring too much about the world, rituals and customs.

I came from a Mohalla where small kids would be topless or shoe-less but my parents did better somehow and I was lucky to get qualified for a College who just turned 100yrs old which gave me the best and worst of my life (an ASD teen in a boarding college is a recipe for disaster, how I managed without smoking or any other vice is beyond my little brain).

SOOOO there is light at the end of the tunnel in some way considering the so-called neuro-typical people are just beyond boring, shallow and clueless as well in their own ways so it's not such a bad deal. And I am here to tell you that for as long as I live and I can manage providing for my family in any and every way I could, I would support and help people going through tough times esp. parents who are in a worse position because as a very late-diagnosed ASD person my struggle was individual and I didn't even know while THEY KNOW and they can't do much about it.

To all the parents, young kids and families going through this, you got this but you will get through too. This life is shitty already as it is so you may as well chin up, take it on and die fighting and smiling.

https://preview.redd.it/47wujtzm911h1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=38abb318a74a82563dfff31d56ad878068e2f20e

Said it before and gonna say it again because it makes sense: South Asians have more things in common with each other than everyone else they pander, care about and spend entire lives trying to be nice to. The sooner they realize this, come together and create solutions for respective communities and stop this divide and hate, the better off everyone will be.

Pakistanis searching for \"Cheap Food\" on Google in 5 years trends line

Extracted from Google Trends. Anyone supporting or defending the Hybrid regime that "all is well" probably should see this.