u/rxckkz

I (19) just need to vent because I feel stuck, and I don’t know if I’m being selfish or if my feelings are valid.
My family immigrated to the U.S. when I was 10. My parents worked constantly to build a life here, and I understand why—they had to. But ever since then, I’ve basically been a third parent.

At 10 years old, I started taking care of my younger sister (now 15) while my parents worked. I did that for years. Later, my younger twin brothers (now 9) came to the U.S., and I became responsible for them too. Now my older siblings have moved out, and my parents both work overnight, seven days a week, so most of the responsibility falls on me.
One thing that makes it harder is that I have a 15-year-old sister, and people often assume she can help take some of the responsibility. She does help sometimes, but she’s still very innocent and doesn’t really take initiative the way I wish she would. Then again, I also wonder if my expectations are unfair because I had to grow up so fast. By the time I was her age, I’d already spent years taking care of her, cooking, cleaning, and managing responsibilities that most kids don’t have. Maybe I expect too much from her simply because I never got to experience being a normal teenager myself.

I’m in community college, I work, and I’m also trying to build a side business doing nails. On top of that, I’m expected to cook, clean, and watch my siblings whenever my parents are working. My schedule often revolves around theirs. If I work a closing shift or want to make plans, it becomes stressful because someone has to stay with the kids.
The hardest part is that I feel like my life is on hold. I see people my age becoming independent, going out, taking opportunities, and figuring out who they are. Meanwhile, I feel like I can’t fully do that because my family depends on me.
I even chose community college over going away to a four-year university because I knew my family sometimes needed financial help, and I didn’t think I could leave. Community college has been a great financial decision, but it wasn’t entirely the choice I wanted.

The part that makes this so difficult is that I love my family. My parents sacrificed everything to give us a better life, and I know they’re doing their best. My little brothers look up to me. They’re great kids, but because my parents are almost never home, they miss out on a lot of normal childhood experiences. They don’t know how to swim or ride a bike, and I constantly feel guilty because I don’t have enough time or energy to teach them those things. They stay all day inside playing video games or watching YouTube. And I mean that cannot be good for a child’s development.

I also can’t help feeling angry sometimes. Not because I think my parents are bad people or because they don’t work hard—they work their asses off every single day to provide for us, and I genuinely admire them for that. I know they didn’t choose for things to be this way. They’re doing what they have to do. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve spent most of my childhood and now my young adulthood carrying responsibilities that most people my age never had. I feel guilty for being angry because I know how much they’ve sacrificed, but I also feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot too.
Even when I go out with friends, I feel guilty because my siblings are home while I’m having fun, or feeling like I have to be back home soon because the house isn’t clean enough. If I become more independent, work more, or eventually move out, I worry about what happens to everyone else.
My mom tells me that I need to make selfish decisions sometimes and live my own life, but I can’t stop feeling responsible for everyone. I love my family, and that’s what makes this so hard.
So I guess my question is: am I wrong for wanting more independence? Has anyone else grown up feeling responsible for their family and struggled with the guilt of wanting to live their own life?

I (19) just need to vent because I feel stuck, and I don’t know if I’m being selfish or if my feelings are valid.
My family immigrated to the U.S. when I was 10. My parents worked constantly to build a life here, and I understand why—they had to. But ever since then, I’ve basically been a third parent.

At 10 years old, I started taking care of my younger sister (now 15) while my parents worked. I did that for years. Later, my younger twin brothers (now 9) came to the U.S., and I became responsible for them too. Now my older siblings have moved out, and my parents both work overnight, seven days a week, so most of the responsibility falls on me.
One thing that makes it harder is that I have a 15-year-old sister, and people often assume she can help take some of the responsibility. She does help sometimes, but she’s still very innocent and doesn’t really take initiative the way I wish she would. Then again, I also wonder if my expectations are unfair because I had to grow up so fast. By the time I was her age, I’d already spent years taking care of her, cooking, cleaning, and managing responsibilities that most kids don’t have. Maybe I expect too much from her simply because I never got to experience being a normal teenager myself.

I’m in community college, I work, and I’m also trying to build a side business doing nails. On top of that, I’m expected to cook, clean, and watch my siblings whenever my parents are working. My schedule often revolves around theirs. If I work a closing shift or want to make plans, it becomes stressful because someone has to stay with the kids.
The hardest part is that I feel like my life is on hold. I see people my age becoming independent, going out, taking opportunities, and figuring out who they are. Meanwhile, I feel like I can’t fully do that because my family depends on me.
I even chose community college over going away to a four-year university because I knew my family sometimes needed financial help, and I didn’t think I could leave. Community college has been a great financial decision, but it wasn’t entirely the choice I wanted.

The part that makes this so difficult is that I love my family. My parents sacrificed everything to give us a better life, and I know they’re doing their best. My little brothers look up to me. They’re great kids, but because my parents are almost never home, they miss out on a lot of normal childhood experiences. They don’t know how to swim or ride a bike, and I constantly feel guilty because I don’t have enough time or energy to teach them those things. They stay all day inside playing video games or watching YouTube. And I mean that cannot be good for a child’s development.

I also can’t help feeling angry sometimes. Not because I think my parents are bad people or because they don’t work hard—they work their asses off every single day to provide for us, and I genuinely admire them for that. I know they didn’t choose for things to be this way. They’re doing what they have to do. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve spent most of my childhood and now my young adulthood carrying responsibilities that most people my age never had. I feel guilty for being angry because I know how much they’ve sacrificed, but I also feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot too.
Even when I go out with friends, I feel guilty because my siblings are home while I’m having fun, or feeling like I have to be back home soon because the house isn’t clean enough. If I become more independent, work more, or eventually move out, I worry about what happens to everyone else.
My mom tells me that I need to make selfish decisions sometimes and live my own life, but I can’t stop feeling responsible for everyone. I love my family, and that’s what makes this so hard.
So I guess my question is: am I wrong for wanting more independence? Has anyone else grown up feeling responsible for their family and struggled with the guilt of wanting to live their own life?

I (19) just need to vent because I feel stuck, and I don’t know if I’m being selfish or if my feelings are valid.
My family immigrated to the U.S. when I was 10. My parents worked constantly to build a life here, and I understand why—they had to. But ever since then, I’ve basically been a third parent.

At 10 years old, I started taking care of my younger sister (now 15) while my parents worked. I did that for years. Later, my younger twin brothers (now 9) came to the U.S., and I became responsible for them too. Now my older siblings have moved out, and my parents both work overnight, seven days a week, so most of the responsibility falls on me.
One thing that makes it harder is that I have a 15-year-old sister, and people often assume she can help take some of the responsibility. She does help sometimes, but she’s still very innocent and doesn’t really take initiative the way I wish she would. Then again, I also wonder if my expectations are unfair because I had to grow up so fast. By the time I was her age, I’d already spent years taking care of her, cooking, cleaning, and managing responsibilities that most kids don’t have. Maybe I expect too much from her simply because I never got to experience being a normal teenager myself.

I’m in community college, I work, and I’m also trying to build a side business doing nails. On top of that, I’m expected to cook, clean, and watch my siblings whenever my parents are working. My schedule often revolves around theirs. If I work a closing shift or want to make plans, it becomes stressful because someone has to stay with the kids.
The hardest part is that I feel like my life is on hold. I see people my age becoming independent, going out, taking opportunities, and figuring out who they are. Meanwhile, I feel like I can’t fully do that because my family depends on me.
I even chose community college over going away to a four-year university because I knew my family sometimes needed financial help, and I didn’t think I could leave. Community college has been a great financial decision, but it wasn’t entirely the choice I wanted.

The part that makes this so difficult is that I love my family. My parents sacrificed everything to give us a better life, and I know they’re doing their best. My little brothers look up to me. They’re great kids, but because my parents are almost never home, they miss out on a lot of normal childhood experiences. They don’t know how to swim or ride a bike, and I constantly feel guilty because I don’t have enough time or energy to teach them those things. They stay all day inside playing video games or watching YouTube. And I mean that cannot be good for a child’s development.

I also can’t help feeling angry sometimes. Not because I think my parents are bad people or because they don’t work hard—they work their asses off every single day to provide for us, and I genuinely admire them for that. I know they didn’t choose for things to be this way. They’re doing what they have to do. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve spent most of my childhood and now my young adulthood carrying responsibilities that most people my age never had. I feel guilty for being angry because I know how much they’ve sacrificed, but I also feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot too.
Even when I go out with friends, I feel guilty because my siblings are home while I’m having fun, or feeling like I have to be back home soon because the house isn’t clean enough. If I become more independent, work more, or eventually move out, I worry about what happens to everyone else.
My mom tells me that I need to make selfish decisions sometimes and live my own life, but I can’t stop feeling responsible for everyone. I love my family, and that’s what makes this so hard.
So I guess my question is: am I wrong for wanting more independence? Has anyone else grown up feeling responsible for their family and struggled with the guilt of wanting to live their own life?

I would like to preface this by saying that the person I am today, is NOTHING like that one girl I once was back in my early years of high school! People do change.

Hey everyone,i (F18) met this girl when I was in my sophomore year of high school, so we were around 13-14 years old back then. We were super close, but because I was young and stupid, I got caught up in chasing guys and put them before our friendship. and of course lost the friendship. After a rough few years, I reached out to her in early 2024 to apologize for all of the hurt I had caused, because I know our friendship meant a lot to her (and to me as well) and she forgave me, but we never really reconnected. Now, even years later, I still dream about her and can’t stop thinking about her. I see her every once in a while pop up on my socials and I end up stalking her, I feel kind of desperate to reconnect, but I also know it’s been too long. Has anyone else gone through something like this? Any advice on how to move forward? I just can’t get over the fact I’m having dreams of us laughing together and reconnecting. Makes me feel like a creep.

In the long run, I want to become a nurse which I’m currently going to school for.
For now; I have to pick a good job that will make me some money. At petco I’m getting paid $15 an hour. And at Texas Roadhouse I just got offered a position as a Server. Help me choose!