u/s0ftsp0ken

I feel like an idiot, but in a good way!? I dress fem most of the time during the weekdays and mostly still "pass" as cis, or at least a trans woman who passes well (I have been definitely been perceived as a trans women at times, which has been interesting~).

Today I went out and actually got to wear my binder. I put in a simple but cute gender neutral outfit, a beanie, and went out. I also have long hair.

First great thing: I high pitch screamed with joy (in my car!) when I realized that not only are my forearms bigger, but there are like new muscles in there that I didn't even know existed.

Later, I went to the grocery store and did some general shopping (duh). At checkout, I turned to look at something and when I turned around, the cashier was looking at me wide-eyed. I felt so nervous, I thought he was going to be rude or standoffish when I went to check out because that's happened before. FYI, my beanie has the MLM flag on the back.

I get there, and he's so nice. I think he was flirting, but this has never happened to me post transition, so I'm just there grinning and not saying anything. I bought some beer and he asks for my ID that still says F and has a picture of me as a 16 year old "girl." He takes a look and just comments that we're the same age and smiles.

I fucking melted. We're both smiling and talking about kimchi finally, he gives me a discount, and then I have to go because it's busy, and auurgh! I won't be able to stop thinking about this for a while.

I love that today's happiness wasn't only about gaining validation frkm another person too. I just look and feel good, and I feel great about myself because why wouldn't I!? I'm so fucking happy, y'all 😭

I'm a year and a few months on T but still dress fem a lot of the time for multiple reasons, including needing to professional in clothes I'm used to wearing/not having the budget for a wardrobe overhaul. I've lost a lot of my old figure, but depending on what I wear, you can still see it.

I was not like a super attractive woman, but I looked good enough that sometimes strangers would tell me I'm pretty. I never disliked my old looks, but once I lost a lot of weight I couldn't stop daydreaming about looking and sounding more masc, and years later I finally went for it.

I don't think my relationship with my femme body is/was healthy. I see it as useful, not something that really belongs to me. I struggle with wanting to be attractive to be liked or for approval. Sometimes I smile when I see my hourglass figure in the mirror when I wear certain clothes because it makes me feel attractive to the world, but when I take off my clothes and see myself all hairy and more chubby than I was, or when I wear my one pair of men's cut jeans and see that my hips are basically gone, I feel happy. Maybe a bit self con because I have a bigger belly, but still happy.

But people liked girl figure and girl voice. I knew how to act like a girl so that people were nice to me, and how to be attractive so that people were nice to me. Now I feel like I don't know how to be, and I feel like I need to be femme to be pretty and soft and liked. Anyone else dealt with this?

I've been thinking about this lately. People sometimes like to say that trans men/mascs are "better/the only good men" because they grew up being raised as girls and it makes them empathize with women more, or, on the darker end, that trans men/mascs are inherently kinder than cis men because they're biologically wired to be more empathetic to all people. Both takes are ugh.

I know I'm not saying anything new, but oftentimes when I see pushback against this take, I see people talking about gender essentialism and how not all trans men/mascs identify with their AGAB and everything. Correct takes, absolutely, but it also just got me thinking about what cis guys are barred from because of their AGAB.

Girls/women are "allowed" to partake in more masculine-coded activities than boys/men are inversely. What was once Boy Scouts is not gender neutral and allows anyone of any gender, but Girl Scouts doesn't allow cis boys to join.

I read a story on Insta recently where a mom talked about how her son wasn't invited to his friend's birthday party despite her begging to allow him to be invited because it was a mani-pedi party, and her parents assumed he wouldn't enjoy it. Men who do participate in more feminine-coded activities are usually viewed as performative or sub-men, if that makes sense.

All that to say, barring men from certain activities and behaviors creates the stereotypical cis men we know of today. I've seen with my own eyes how sweet, sensitive boys have their humanity stripped from them to be turned into these hollow people. Hell, I grew up being perceived as a girl, and it still happened to me.

I know that the inclusion of men in certain spaces is seen as an infiltration as something sacred and guarded, and I'm not saying that every gendered space needs to become gender inclusive, but we do need more institutions that are geared at bridging the gender divide, and they can't all be current/formerly masculine spaces. We need to leave the door open for people of all genders to embrace femininity even if they're not fem/femme.

I stared T February of last year. My second to last blood draw was in November where my levels werr aboht 567, and now six months later my levels are at 593. I understand that I'm "within the normal range," but it doesn't feel like it. During mt last appointment (I get my T gel FROM PP), I asked if we could up my dosage again and was told that I'd reached the dosage limit .

I don't know how to explain it. I feel stronger and things sure, but I'm always tired, I have little to no appetite, and I've been having terrible mood swings. This doesn't feel right, and that's not what it wss like when I first started. Quite the opposite, actually. I sent a message to my doctor to see what she says. Anyone else experiencing this? I migbt have to start doing injections, but I'm terrified of needles.

Despite going through a genuine man-hating phase in my early 20s brought on by dating, I'd say my non-romantic relationships with men have been pretty positive. It always makes me happy when men are nice to me in a non-romantic way, or when we can talk about our interests and they are receptive, whether it's to do with sports or skincare routines.

I've been on T for a little over a year but still present as a woman a majority of the time for a number of reasons. I've always been emotionally closer to my girl friends than my guy friends, but there's that stereotype of women being in competition with each other. And tbh, it's true, but the same can be said about men.

Women tend to be less judgmental about cis men who they consider friends for not performing their gender perfectly, because they're men. Men also are less judgmental about cis women in their social circles because they are not being held to the same gender standards. But among each other, on both ends, I've seen competition.

(Cishet) women tend to compete in terms of looks, ability to attract men, and presentation. (Cishet) men tend to compete in terms of finances, physical strength, and the ability to attract women. Neither group sees the opposite as a threat because they're not competing for the same thing. I feel like my relationship with men will change and they'll be less nice. Has anyone experienced this?

And please be aware, I'm speaking in very broad generalizations.

I never wanted to be someone's girlfriend or wife. I was always told that the only way to be free was to marry another woman (when I was presenting as a cis woman) and that all men were out there to hurt me or use me.

I want so badly to fall in love with a man and be taken seriously, but it's so hard to believe that it will happen. Women are taught they must marry men, but they should also fear them. I hate that, because I want to believe I can really be friends with men and fall in love with them. All men, not just trans men. Politics are crazy rn and I'm terrified that one day they'll outlaw medical transitioning. I want to fall in love before that happens so I can be loved in my entirety. I want to stop fearing that every man is out to use me. We talk so much about chasers and the bad people- I almost never hear about healthy relationships involving men, trans or cis.

They host dance classes open to everyone. Ive seen pictures, and it's been a very diverse group, which is why I came here specifically. I've been called ma'am/girl by two different people and it hasn't even been 10 minutes 🫠 I'm binding and almost a year and a half on T. I went to the bathroom and chose the women's restroom. I feel weird af being here. Literally, the only people who call me sir now are the ones who think I'm MtF and are trying to hurt my feelings (not at this bar. Just in everyday life!). Class hasn't started, but it's only me and ine ither person, so I can't bail. Pray for me.

I really think I've capped out on the effectiveness of my gel after almost a year and a half pf use, but I'm terrified of needles. Is there anyone here who has gotten over their fear? How?

My oldest and first dog died almost two weeks ago after 15 wonderful years. He had a heart murmur that escalated to an enlarged heart and an enlarged spleen with a suspicious mass on his liver, so it might have been cancerous. Either way, he wasn't going to survive surgery if it wasn't malignant.

His death was the best case scenario. We spent the entire weekend together with my other dogs after I canceled. a trip I'd booked months ago. I didn't leave home at all, so we were together 24/7. He collapsed late Saturday evening and died early Sunday morning in my arms at the vet. I brought my other dogs to see him. They whined, but I think it was because they hate the vet lol. Still, they were mellow for a few days.

I love my other two dogs, but I also feel sad knowing he's not here with us. He was starting to go downhill- heart medication, hearing problems, aight problems, etc. I got a fairly good job fairly recently after a stint of unemployment and was preparing to take care of him as he continued to decline. I was ready to carry him around or get a round the clock sitter for him or anything else he needed, but it seems his decline was less about old age and more about his condition. I would have gone broke, mind you, but I would have done it for him. I am kind of in a better spot than I used to be financially than I've been in a long time, and he won't be here to enjoy it while his siblings might. I wanted the four of us to have this better life together, and one of us is missing, so it doesn't feel right.