u/s4turn2k02

My sister picked up a DS lite at a charity shop last week and I got all nostalgic when I had a go so being impulsive I brought a 3DS. I ordered a few of my childhood games but outside of that I’m a bit lost. Didn’t grow up in a gaming family, or with friends who played games. The only console I ever had was the DS. I’d like to try a pokemon game, I’ve dabbled with platinum on delta emulator but not sure it’s the best place to start. Did really enjoy it though, even though it’s my first interaction with pokemon in any media form . I like tycoon games, but have ordered a couple already. Don’t have any other hobbies really that would translate onto DS. Not an anime fan etc. Am really open to trying whatever, am on sick leave at the moment so have a lot of free time

Here’s what I ordered

Cocoto racers (bootleg Mario kart I played growing up)
Moshi monsters: my Moshling zoo (again pure nostalgia I had everything Moshi monsters)
My sims kingdom
New super Mario bros (should have got the 3D one but this was like a fiver)
Style boutique (another nostalgia one)
Theme park tycoon
Tracy beaker (if you’re from the uk you’ll understand)
Zoo tycoon (my all time fave)

But yeah I’d like some more ‘proper’ games as opposed to the embarrassment I’ve just listed. It’s my birthday in a couple of weeks and I suspect I’ll get some cash so money isn’t too much of an object (I know some of the pokemon games are pricy)

Don’t live near any game stores but I have a hospital appointment on Thursday and there’s a CEX in town so I’ll have a look if I’m up to it. I’ve just been using Vinted so far

Or more what to expect. They’re coming over on Tuesday. Just had a phone call and she sounds nice but my phone is knackered so couldn’t hear much of what she was saying lol. Do I have to get up and dressed or can I just slob around in my pjs or trackies. Do they come in your room cos my bedroom is a shit hole?? Rest of the house is fine though. Like what do they do, or what can they do for you. I’m waiting for occupational therapy, she said she’s an occupational therapist but said this is just a care coordinator role thing idk, I’m still on the waiting list

How long will she be here for? Just a quick chat or is it like an hour? I assume she speaks to the psychiatrist because she said he asked for me to have a care coordinator finally after me having to ring duty worker a few times. Do they come every week

Every letter I get from CMHT say ‘contact care coordinator between appointments if you need support’. There are posters in the waiting room reminding you to contact them

I’ve been under CMHT since May, see a psychiatrist once a month who is nice, has referred me on to 2 teams within CMHT (OT and psychology) which I’m still waiting for, albeit OT won’t be much longer. I called the duty worker a couple of weeks ago as I was really struggling, was told next time to contact my care coordinator, said I didn’t have one, they said they’d get back to me about it. Never did

I have severe OCD, avoidant personality disorder and am waiting to be assessed for CPTSD. My psychiatrist seemed to hint that my diagnosis wasn’t a priority when it came to having a care coordinator as I’m more stable. Stable as in things are consistently shit and I’m consistently miserable, self harming (which has become an OCD compulsion) but I’m not suicidal, a risk to others and I don’t experience intense emotions etc so I can be left without support for a long time. With the AVPD they also know I’m unlikely to ask for help, that phone call I made was massively out of character which shows how desperate I am

But I don’t want to bother anyone. Idk I’m really lonely thanks to AVPD lol and would like some support but idk where to go from here

This was booked like 18 months ago, before my relapse

Didn’t cancel because I was hopeful I’d be better. Maybe if I drank some alcohol to calm me down before the flight. My family are pissed at me but they knew it was coming. They’ve all still gone (obviously, I wouldn’t want them to stay lol)

I have other mental illnesses

I’m gutted because I’d love a week in the sun all inclusive. I leave the house once a month to see a psychiatrist. Still waiting for occupational therapy. It wasn’t realistic to expect me to travel seeing as I can’t even go in my garden. But still

Don’t really have any meals in. Don’t have any money either. Don’t have any friends to ask for help. So I’ll just live off crisps

Psychiatrist told me to look it up before the next appointment. Well, that’s what they said summarised very briefly. I already have a diagnosis of OCD which is 100% correct lol

I’m not too sure why they said to look it up. I think from my understanding I’m quite complex, maybe not severe or anything but more unique case? One that isn’t seen too often in CMHT from what I’m aware. Don’t worry lol I don’t think I’m special in any way or whatever. CPTSD has also been mentioned which I think is more likely, but I really don’t get flashbacks too often anymore

Anyway if anyone is familiar with avoidant personality disorder can you comment? Whether professional or personal.

This is gonna be a long post I’m sorry.

I’m 23. Diagnosed OCD at about 11/12? Medicated at 13, was under CAMHS from 12-16 but my OCD wasn’t really treated therapeutically, we did try talking therapy but I had a lot of non-OCD things happening that were focused on more. I was on sertraline at varying doses from 100-200mg but normally it was 150mg. When I was first diagnosed I wouldn’t leave the house etc, had to drop out of school for 2 years etc

Anyway from 16-22 ish I was managing okay. Still unwell but I kind of just likened it to asthma. Only 5% of my day was spent on OCD if that makes sense, like how someone with asthma would spend a little time maybe taking an inhaler if they got out of breath. It wasn’t a huge part of my life and I could live with a few restrictions/compulsions

At 21/22 ish, in my third year of uni I relapsed massively. It had been bubbling away for a while (Covid probably didn’t help) and living in my own space with nobody really caring or being physically close to me to notice meant I was literally confined to my bedroom. I went days without eating, weeks without showering (because my shower was contaminated or whatever). My hair was so matted I had to cut loads of it off. I’d get food every few days by putting about 3 layers of clothes on to hide me and my hair and I’d practically sprint so I was outside as little as possible. My family eventually caught wind and my dad drove the 5 hours to collect me. He had to help me walk the few steps to the car as I was so weak. He would not start the drive until I ate.

I spent some time at home and upped my sertraline on advise of the GP. I then went back to uni in October 2024 to resit the year. The cycle just continued from then on, I’d spend weeks building up to the train journey home (once a term, 5 hours there and back). I’d be sobbing on the trains, I’d be missing trains on purpose because I can’t face being around people. Eventually it was decided that I would come home again (March 2025) and due to the quality of the little work I did (and the fact I managed my dissertation thank fuck) I’d be allowed to go back to uni in June 2026 to sit my final exams, hoping I’d be well enough.

I wasn’t. I ended up dropping out of uni completely in March of this year, because I was nowhere near well enough to travel up to do my exams. I was gutted. 5 years into a 3 year degree and it was all for nothing. Good degree + very good uni too.

I’m home with my mum now. Don’t work, but don’t claim benefits so I guess that’s something. I leave the house very rarely. I was referred to adult mental health services in September last year, my referral was refused so went via NHS talking therapies, they did the 6 sessions, and referred me onto CMHT. It was accepted and I had an appointment 2 weeks after my re-referral which was good I guess. I was basically forced into the car, I hadn’t traveled by car in months and months, hadn’t left my house in weeks too. Went, had my medication changed (am on escitalopram 15mg now). Re-diagnosed with OCD, agoraphobia (I think) + am waiting for another assessment by the psychology team. Idk what for or if it’s just to see how I’m being treated idk. Referred to occupational therapy too. This was may. In June I had another appointment with the psychiatrist, nothing new. And then last week I had my third appointment. I don’t have another until mid August. I have no care coordinator and nobody to contact if I’m struggling. I cannot phone the clinic or whatever, I have a really really awful relationship with my mum especially in terms of my mental health and just trust me I cannot be on the phone. She works in a school so is not working for the next 6 weeks.

I’m meant to be going to Spain in 3 weeks. No chance I am able to go. That’s caused WW3 in my family. I self harmed for the first time since I was what 18/19 a month ago. Told the psych this but kinda just brushed it off as a one off thing. It’s not been a one off thing. I haven’t covered even half of my obsessions etc with him. The stuff surrounding germs and emetophobia is easy enough to speak about but I get awful awful intrusive thoughts that I cannot bring myself to speak about anywhere. Thoughts of me getting a knife and literally cutting myself open from head to toe (not something I want to do) thoughts I’ll drop or harm my baby/toddler nephews and it’s awful because I watch them twice a week whilst they’re nursery is closed for summer. Thoughts that when I’m patting my dog I’ll accidentally strangle her or something. Other thoughts that are sexual too that I don’t even want to type out. It’s been worse since the medication change but I have a lot of stress anyway right now.

Thing to note is I was physically abused a lot growing up and had a lot of awful things happen as a child (family illness, separation, abuse, poverty you name it lol). CMHT are aware of this. Flashbacks and whatever aren’t as bad as they were when I was a kid/teen but the disconnection or whatever is. I feel so small and vulnerable. I can spend an hour just staring into space in my own little world. Thinking about all the horrible things that have happened. It’s like a flashback but I don’t see or hear things. I feel it with my brain. Idk if I have PTSD or am just remembering things. Don’t really care for labels anyway tbh

I don’t know if I’m venting or what my aim is with this post but I’m so lost and don’t know what to do. I have no friends, I can’t talk to my family. I’m so isolated, I’m beyond help I fear. Nobody can tell how unwell I am because the only symptom my mum sees is me shutting myself in my room practically 24/7. In her eyes I’m just lazy. She does not know much about what is going on other than I have OCD

It’s the intrusive thoughts and the cycle of my brain going ‘are these intrusive thoughts or are you just thinking about these things because you want them to be intrusive thoughts when really it’s how you feel’. Sometimes I feel physically sick when I get a thought I don’t want

The worst one for me right now is the thought of me just slicing myself from my toes all the way up to my head in one big cut. I don’t know how to explain that I don’t want to do that. I obviously said about the relapse in self harm which hasn’t helped with that thought but it’s just so grotesque. Like when I am cutting myself I can almost feel my skin crawl as if I need to cut it open. I had those urges (to a lesser extent) during the years I was clean but it was more an urge to actually cut myself because I missed the feeling (I was doing it for many years) but now it’s just insane

Not a dig at anyone with BPD etc. I do have bad perceptions of BPD as I was abused by my mum who has it. But obviously I know it’s not a cause of the abuse, but it 100% contributed to her behaviour. It wasn’t just verbal. Anyway disclaimer aside

I know NHS services are stretched for everyone. This is my first experience under adults. I have severe OCD + agoraphobia. I’ve had 3 appointments with a psychiatrist, one every month, and have had my medication changed (not helping yet). I am completely isolated and shut off from everyone and everything.

The trust I’m under has posters all over the wall with groups for people with BPD/bipolar etc. art therapies, skills groups etc. I don’t want a therapeutic group, but I’d love a bit more help than just an hour long appointment once a month. Even just something to get me mixing with other people. I can go weeks without physically speaking. I’m on the waiting list for occupational therapy, but that’s going to take at least 3 more months

I have no friends, nobody to talk to. I am so incredibly lonely. There’s posters in the waiting room telling how you can call your CPN if you need support between appointments. I don’t have one of those. I asked today who I could call. He said if I was having issues regarding medication that I could leave a message with reception. But that’s not what I mean. I self harm, he knows I do. I spend hours upon hours doing rituals everyday. I don’t leave my house outside of my monthly appointment

He said that CMHTs don’t really tend to see people with OCD. I understand that. I had to go through talking therapies first. But as a child under CAMHS when I was unwell with this (I relapsed last year) I had someone I could call/text.

I know BPD etc is a severe condition and I know with limited resources there’s not a lot they can do. I’m just so frustrated. There’s nobody who can do exposure and response therapy in my trust. And yet I’m sat there in the waiting room seeing multiple groups for things I’m told aren’t for me. Seeing posters to contact CPN and told that it doesn’t apply to me. Why advertise it?

He says he doesn’t want to bother me and have me see him more regularly. And it is a big deal to leave the house and travel. But why advertise all this help when it’s not offered for everyone

My trust is a research trust and a lot of the research goes towards things like bipolar/BPD. My psychiatrist runs a clinic. He sees patients with certain conditions on a Thursday. He mainly sees people with personality disorders. There’s not a clinic to deal with anxiety disorders.

And I know a lot of you here have had bad experiences with mental health services and have BPD. There are wards and BPD units throughout the country. There’s 2 OCD units in London, which are near on impossible to get into. One of which you have to be able to travel home, so there’s only 1 that would take me. But they can’t take me, because 1) I haven’t trialled an antipsychotic yet and 2) I self harm

I go days without food because of my OCD. I’m scared it’ll kill me. But because I’m not a risk to life, and I don’t have a condition that my trust cares about, im left to fend for myself

I’m new to adult services, but have a long history being under CAMHS. I am 23. Have only seen the adult team twice so far, diagnosed OCD as primary need, other things on top of that but still being assessed etc. Changed my medication and am waiting on occupational therapy as I’m also agorophobic

I’ve had a couple phone calls on top of face to face appointments (solely with the psychiatrist) just to see how I’m tolerating the meds. Not got a problem with the psych, he’s actually quite nice, which is a good change haha. He always asks a few questions over the phone, ones normally about my childhood. Probably because it’s a lot to cover in a single assessment and honestly I’m not the best at talking. Had a check in today, and he was asking questions about social situations etc. they didn’t have anything to do with what was going on. I asked (nicely of course) why these sorts of questions kept being asked. He said today that he would like me seen by the neurodevelopmental (idk the word lol) people for an assessment for autism and/or ADHD (leaning towards ADHD).

To be honest I don’t really see the point. I’ve got a lot of things being put into place by CMHT as it is, I really really struggle to leave the house so a whole other assessment is pointless. I know I don’t have autism- CAMHS assessed me for it when I was first referred. Could it have been missed? Maybe. But socially I do manage well, when mentally I am well. When I’m as unwell as I am now I struggle doing anything, and want to be away from people. I don’t have any sensory needs, or many of the classic symptoms of autism. I do have a diagnosis of dyspraxia albeit that’s largely manifested as physical symptoms. ADHD wise I don’t know, but I also don’t really care to be honest. I’m done with school, I’m done with uni, I don’t see myself having kids ever, so it’s not like I need to know what to look out for in them. I don’t see it making any difference to how they treat me

I don’t want to be difficult, but I know there’s such a long wait for autism assessments etc, I’d rather no be somewhat fast tracked and instead have someone else who needs an assessment take any possible help I get from that team

Stomach has been burning, cramping, I’ve had loose shits, can’t trust a fart etc. I’ve only been on it 3 days, I’m tapering off sertraline (Zoloft) alongside and currently on 50mg of that (down from 150) and 5mg of escitalopram. Meant to be up to 15mg. I have severe OCD around throwing up, psychiatrist put me on these tablets as he said they were kinder to your stomach. Yeah fuck that. Why would he even lie? I’ve just read loads of stories on Reddit etc. I literally told him I’d rather break every bone in my body than throw up, and having the shits is almost as bad. Fuck these stupid tablets

Not for physical disabilities. It’s for my OCD and agorophobia. I’m not sure what it’ll involve, I’ll know more when I speak with the psychiatrist in a couple of weeks

It’s been quite positive with CMHT so far, a lot better than CAMHS were at the same clinic lol. Medication swapped, psychology referral and now this. When should I expect to be let down?

Had my first appointment with the locality team last week. A psychiatrist. Have been under CAMHS but am 23 now and it was my first adult appointment (I wasn’t under mental health services for a few years haha) Mum used to come with me to all my CAMHS appointment (not that I wanted her to). As a kid it wasn’t safe for me to say no to her. It was easier to just let her do what she wanted

She didn’t come in with me last week which she took a lot better than I thought she would. I had to do all the paperwork and I put that I didn’t want letters etc sent to my house because in short me and my mum don’t get on. She’s got her own issues and I had an awful time growing up.

Had a phone call from admin person a few days ago asking why I didn’t want letters/info shared, I just said I didn’t want to. I did tell the doctor a bit though, because he also asked. We agreed that letters with appointment dates can be sent, but no notes etc

I had a call from the consultant today (I wasn’t expecting it). Mum heard me on the phone, came in my room and sat listening. I asked her to leave, but she didn’t. I had to put it on speaker to hear him. He told me updates with new medication etc and asked to see me in person in 2 weeks, again, that’s fine, I knew it was happening. I don’t mind my mum knowing this

My mum goes off in the background, I don’t even know why she was angry, all he was doing was confirming the plan for me, which I told mum about new medication. She was shouting in the background, slamming doors etc. I asked him if he heard her, he said yes. He didn’t say anything else. She didn’t insult him, but she was quite confrontational. He sounded a bit upset

Thing is I like this consultant. He is being very careful with my medication change, I’ve not started it yet as he wanted to speak to a specialist in my condition first. Mums not happy because she wants me on new medication now. Well, I think my mum would be happiest if I was institutionalised. I’m not unsafe or anything though, just have awful OCD and other similar issues

I want to call back and apologise, but it was a withheld number. I know what the number for the clinic is, and my mum is working this afternoon so I’ll be alone. I’m not very good talking on the phone, I tried to find an email for them but can’t seem to find one. I want to stop all letters coming to my house, even appointment dates because she will open them and read them, probably forget she’s read them and I’ll miss appointments. I have text reminders for appointments so it’s not a huge deal but I’d have a lot more notice via post. I’d rather them do what I originally agreed to which is everything sent via the NHS app

I posted a few days ago. I’m 23 and have diagnosed OCD, agoraphobia and depression/anxiety. I was under CAMHS from 12-17, but not moved onto adults because I wasn’t unwell enough. Been on sertraline since I was 13, at varying doses. Was managing okay from ages 17-21 ish. Had a huge relapse in uni, had to resit a year (and then eventually had to drop out of the resit year, my final year, altogether on health grounds. My agoraphobia and OCD got so bad I would go days without eating

I don’t live alone anymore so food wise I am managing alright (it is not an eating disorder). I can count on one hand how many times I’ve left the house in the last 18 months or so (came back from uni in March 2025). When I do leave the house it’s to go for a walk round the block

Obviously when this all started I went to the GP (who manages my medication). They referred me to CMHT who refused my referral. So I went to primary services- talking therapies I think. Had 6 online sessions, didn’t work at all, and they ended up passing me onto CMHT again. This time I was accepted and have an appointment with a psychiatrist. I got the appointment a week after I was passed onto them so every cloud I guess

The thing is, it’s a 35 minute drive from my house. I can drive but don’t have a car. My dad is coming down to take me. I haven’t left my small town in 18 months. The appointment isn’t even at my nearest clinic. The nearest to me is 15 mins away, but is under a different district. My mum rang them about this, and they said they couldn’t do anything until after I’ve been assessed, and that if I don’t go there will be a longer wait for another appointment (which will probably be in person) as the GP and primary mental health team have said I need my medication reviewing before I start any therapies etc (hopefully a combo of occupational and exposure) which I can do from home/in my community.

All day today I’ve been racing. My thoughts I mean. Nothing feels right, I do a lot of rituals as it is anyway but they’ve been so much worse. The agoraphobia side I can probably manage BUT it’s the OCD I can’t. Part of my OCD stems from emetophobia and being in a car for 35 mins, stuck in a room for what 90 mins and then having to drive back is terrifying. I HATE being around people, it’s not going outside I’m scared of, it’s being in situations I can’t escape. When I had my online sessions I couldn’t even turn my camera on because idk it just made me feel more trapped and anxious

Idk what to do

First time dealing with adult services. I’m 23, have agoraphobia and severe OCD. Was under CAMHS from 12-17, discharged and was okay. Been medicated since I was 13.

Had a massive relapse about 18 months ago. Dropped out of uni. GP referred me to the locality team, who said I need to go through primary mental health services first. Primary mental health services made it clear they couldn’t help me but I went through the 6 sessions. Only perk is I got an appointment with the locality team a week after primary mental health services passed my details on

The problem? I rarely leave the house. I can manage a short walk once a week at best. I have not left my small town in months and months. I hate being in cars. Public transport is a no. All my primary mental health sessions were online

I’ve got an hour and a half assessment booked for Friday, at a clinic that’s a 35/40 minute drive away. I’m assuming they have read my notes. It’s with a psychiatrist, and that’s all I know

My dad is going to come down to drive me. I cannot stand being around people, agorophobia is the fear of not being able to escape a situation. Then add my OCD on top of this. The appointment isn’t even at my nearest clinic, it might be more manageable if it was at the one 10 minutes away. The clinic I’m meant to go to says they’re more equipped to meet my needs

If I don’t go to the assessment I’ll be discharged. I need a medication change, and my GP isn’t comfortable doing that. I’ve had doses altered by them but I think I need to try something new

I don’t know what to do. I can drive but don’t have a car, hence I need a lift. The drive will be awful, I have pretty nasty emetophobia too so that’ll set me off, hot car and travel sickness etc. I’ll get there and I’m stuck in that room for an hour and a half. And then I’ve still got to make the journey back home

It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I want the help, but it’s like they’ve not even read my notes

Yesterday was rough. I’d been pretty constipated lol so the day before (2 days ago now) I had a small glass of prune juice. Didn’t do anything until yesterday. I had a normal poop, and then horrendous d, felt like it was gonna happen, was bent over the toilet. Didn’t have any more d and calmed down after an hour or two. Today I’ve been a little hungry not much. Just been picking at things. I haven’t had my anxiety or acid reflux medication in over a week. Blame the pharmacy not me lol. But it happens every other month and I don’t recall feeling this bad. I’ve just eaten dinner, and feel so n it’s unreal. Horrible indigestion, and I’m convinced I’m gonna have d again. No stomach ache but my stomach is doing flips