u/sapps84

My child 6yo creates situations that are set up to fail. She wants ice cream, I say yes, but she wants it in certain bowl, but I am neither allowed to wash up a bowl, or give it in another.... I tried to be 'creative and hit her lighter side offering her to choose 'anything' to have it in. No win. Meltdown.

I eventually washed it up and gave her ice cream in it. I expected a meltdown about that. But instead she was fine with the bowl, but she wouldn't accept it unless there was more ice cream.

Tbh I know I should have just given more ice cream, but my own internal crap was stuck too by then, and I didn't.

It's not the example/s I need help with. But it's to illustrate the Sabotage, no win, impossible situations she creates.

I don't get it? Nor the best way to handle it.

Or even the best way to survive it myself, so I'm parenting how she needs.

Maybe I'm more asking how to have the energy for it /fake it til you make it? As the constant flitting from one thing to another, that I 'must' sort for her/with her, drives me sideways (my brain doesn't multitask well anyway).

And the creating situations that can't have a solution (I'm sure there are better examples than this but I'm Empty of them right now)

Wanting to know what part of the executive dysfunction is the really slow 'skills' with doing like practical stuff?

....The 'gathers all the items to leave the house, from different places, and fill the water bottle, and has to not forget the keys, and which pocket shall I put this in, and did I already pack that, and opens google maps 3 times, as 'just need to do this thing 1st' for the 3rd time, thing'.

Totally working memory, but must also be some other parts of executive functioning.

It's more autistic trait in me I think, as its just as profoundly slow when my adhd is well medicated.

I think it's also the thing that makes me exceptionally slow at writing (though dyslexia in there too sure to be adding on), which has become even more apparent and almost unworkable in a new job.

Also, wondering if this is one those things made worse in perimenopause? As been thinking for while I'm also in that now.

Definitely made worse by stress or poor sleep.

Harder to advocate for myself for any reasonable adjustments when I don't know what name is. Google didn't help me, just more confused!

Thanks!

​

Wanting to know what part of the executive dysfunction is the really slow 'skills' with doing like practical stuff?

....The 'gathers all the items to leave the house, from different places, and fill the water bottle, and has to not forget the keys, and which pocket shall I put this in, and did I already pack that, and opens google maps 3 times, as 'just need to do this thing 1st' for the 3rd time, thing'.

Totally working memory, but must also be some other parts of executive functioning.

It's more autistic trait in me I think, as its just as profoundly slow when adhd is well medicated.

I think it's also the thing that makes me exceptionally slow at writing (though dyslexia in there too sure to be adding on), which has become even more apparent and almost unworkable in a new job.

Also, wondering if this is one those things made worse in perimenopause? As been thinking for while I'm also in that now.

Definitely made worse by stress or poor sleep.

Harder to advocate for myself for any reasonable adjustments when I don't know what name is. Google didn't help me, just more confused!

Thanks!

Wanting to know what part of the audhd components is the really slow 'skills' with doing like practical stuff?

....The 'gathers all the items to leave the house, from different places, and fill the water bottle, and has to not forget the keys, and which pocket shall I put this in, and did I already pack that, and opens google maps 3 times, as 'just need to do this thing 1st' for the 3rd time, thing'.

Totally working memory, but must also be some other parts of executive functioning.

It's more autistic trait in me I think, as its just as profoundly slow when adhd is well medicated.

I think it's also the thing that makes me exceptionally slow at writing (though dyslexia in there too sure to be adding on), which has become even more apparent and almost unworkable in a new job.

Also, wondering if this is one those things made worse in perimenopause? As been thinking for while I'm also in that now.

Definitely made worse by stress or poor sleep.

Harder to advocate for myself for any reasonable adjustments when I don't know what name is. Google didn't help me, just more confused!

Thanks!