u/sbucksbarista

Thinking about this topic that came up with my therapist the other day.

For context, I’m newly diagnosed by a therapist who works closely with OCD and OCPD patients, just started seeing her after moving across the country, but other therapists have formerly suspected it in my past for at least 6 years now.

Anyways, in one of my first sessions with my new therapist, she immediately clocked that I use extremely definitive, black and white language, all the time. She recommended I start working on statements like “I can’t” and “I have to” and reshape them as things along the lines of “I might not be able to” or “I should/would/could.” I tried doing this for the rest of that session when I would catch myself, but in my brain it just didn’t really click. I stopped paying attention to it the minute I walked out the door.

My next session I was using super definitive language and statements again. I was telling her about how when “I absolutely cannot” do a certain task, I either won’t touch it with a 10 foot pole, or I’ll throw myself full force at it and do it at 110% capacity even though “I can’t” do it. And in my brain in the latter situation, when I can’t do it, I still firmly believe “I can’t” do it even though I’m actively doing it anyways. Does that make any sense?

That led to her saying she thinks the definitive language works for me. While she tries to recommend using less definitive language so people give themselves more grace in situations that are hard, that just doesn’t click with me. But saying “I can’t” is just how my brain operates. And sometimes even when “I can’t” do something, I will do it anyways while continuing to say “I can’t.” But most of the time, if I say “I can’t” do something, I am absolutely not even trying.

Using definitive language gives me motivation to do (or not do) a certain task. I don’t have any wiggle room to give myself “grace,” I just don’t operate that way.

I’ve seen lots of posts about black and white thinking in this sub so far, and I’m wondering if that has anything to do with this. Not sure if this is related or totally unrelated to OCPD, but figured I’d share anyways. Thanks for reading.

…and wow. Just wow. The number of posts that so perfectly describe these feelings and emotions and reactions and situations I’ve lived through for years that I’ve had so much trouble putting into words myself. It’s a little overwhelming, honestly? But it’s also very comforting.

OCPD was brought to the table 6 or so years ago now, by a therapist I saw for maybe three sessions who ended up moving practices out of state right after my old therapist had transferred me over to her. Never spoke of it again. Bounced back and forth between many, many diagnoses. ADHD didn’t make sense, didn’t meet the criteria for autism, symptoms are too different from typical presentations of my other Dx mental illnesses.

I started seeing a new therapist after moving across the country. It was only my second session with her and I was describing things I’ve seen across all these posts. Trouble feeling empathy when the solution is right there and so obvious to me, pre planning tasks but dreading executing them, etc. Her immediate reaction was “I’m going to try to find ways this does not apply to you, but right now I can only see the parallels,” and then she read off the Dx criteria.

She explained to me I’m the first person she’s worked with that clearly has comorbid OCD and OCPD. I’m just grateful she has experience with either. The nearest therapists who specialize in OCD and have experience with OCPD as well to my new city are 2+ hours away, aside from her.

That being said, I’d love to find more community or someone else who can relate. If you’re in or near central KS, or hell even anywhere else in the world, and know of a community or resources for OCPD and getting to know a newly Dx disorder, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading and understanding.

Whenever someone asks what flavor the unicorn cake pop is, I tell them it’s made with real unicorns

Hello!

In the past I’ve gotten mixed answers depending on who’s running the shift. I have three neurological conditions that result in me being extremely nauseous and sometimes vomiting from it. The nausea happens almost everyday, the vomiting is maybe once a month. I have a medication that I take as needed but it’s hit or miss whether I have side effects that are also listed as sick symptoms where a partner can’t work.

That all being said, I was wondering what is technically the standard when it comes to vomiting at or before work. In my case it’s almost never food borne (based on triggers and other symptoms of my neurological flare ups). Is the vomiting considered a reason to be sent home no matter what? Or is it only for food borne illnesses? Same question applies for medication induced side effects.

SM has previously said I have to go home, every single shift says I can stay. Multiple baristas who have been pregnant and throw up as part of morning sickness are also told/asked/allowed to stay.

Thanks for any insight!

Hello!

Discovered Fiona Apple early last year with the recommendation of a friend. She very quickly became one of my favorite artists of all time. The first song I listened to was Criminal and I thought it was pretty good, but when I listened to Paper Bag, I was like, this is phenomenal. So my real true deep dives of her albums in order was:

When the Pawn…
Tidal
Fetch the Bold Cutters
The Idler Wheel
Extraordinary Machine

Between albums, I listened to 1-2 different songs from different albums, but that’s the general order I deep dived and listened to the albums in full. When the Pawn was an instant favorite of all time and I basically had it on repeat for two months straight. But what’s crazy, is after listening to all of her albums in full, my ranking from favorite to least favorite goes:

Extraordinary Machine
The Idler Wheel
Fetch the Bolt Cutters (very close behind Idler Wheel)
When the Pawn
Tidal

The first few times I listened to Extraordinary Machine I honestly considered it my least favorite album of hers, but it grew on me so quickly. When the Pawn is still absolutely incredible, and the fact that I consider 3/5 of her albums to be better than When the Pawn when it’s already essentially a 10/10 goes to show how much I love her music. The only album that still hasn’t clicked perfectly for me is Tidal, where some tracks stand out more than others.

All in all, her albums are all so influential to my life and I am so happy I discovered her music last year.

Would loce to hear other people’s rankings compared to listening order as well!

Technically, I (24) need my dad to bring it for me. I’m moving 1,500 miles away from home, starting the drive early Monday morning. My pharmacy had to order more Aimovig yesterday and I’m worried it won’t be ready until after I start my drive. My dad’s flying out on Friday to help with furniture and settling in and such and I was wondering if he’d be able to bring my injection on the plane for me. We have the same last name and he’s picked up medications for me before, I just don’t know the TSA protocols behind it. Thanks!

PS: I’m aware it’s supposed to stay refrigerated and thawed for 30 minutes before use (been taking Ajovy/Aimovig for a few years now) but my neurologist has previously said it’s okay to leave unrefrigerated for up to 7 days.

Hi y’all, I’m starting my Master’s degree program this fall and I have a GTA position with a tuition waiver and stipend. Unfortunately the stipend on its own probably isn’t going to cover all the bills, so I was hoping to stay at my current company for 20-25hrs a week.

I know the websites all say 0.5FTE is expected for a graduate student in a GTA position and can totally do that. But it also says 0.75FTE is the maximum (additional 10 hours or 30 hours total) and I’m unsure if that includes off campus jobs, because the wording is “student-employee,” “on campus,” and “affiliated” positions.

Anyone have insight on this? Need to know if I should shut down the transfer process to my new location now before my GTA duties start or if I’ll be okay continuing to work there. Haven’t heard a response from the grad school yet. Thanks!

Hi everyone!

Bipolar type 1 here, but with medication the worst episodes I get now are usually smaller hypomanic episodes.

I spent the past two-ish months noticing my symptoms kind of act up, and some people around me were concerned too. I would bring it up with my therapist and psychiatrist, but sometimes it’s so hard to be self aware of an episode. When they asked if I thought I was in an episode, my response was always I don’t know but we should keep an eye on it. I had about a week where I was extremely irritable and restless (happens every time I come down from an episode) and I’ve been leveled off since the end of June.

That all being said, my worst symptom that happens without fail every time is that I spend a LOT of money. The past two months were no different. Except this time I was seeing someone who I still feel so much love for even with this realization. We went from staying in for date nights to going out to 1-3 bars and getting food and drinks every night. I was asked to pay once and then I was expected to pay every time. But I didn’t even bat an eye at it. I just put my card down and called it a day.

Now, I’m somewhere around $12,000 further into credit card debt. I spent $12000 over TWO MONTHS. I would ask my partner if I seemed hypomanic or elevated at all and they always said no. But the signs were there and everyone agrees they saw my symptoms, and were just using me for money (money that I don’t have, mind you, hence the debt).

I’m especially upset because a hard boundary when we first started dating was I wouldn’t pay for alcohol because I don’t (and will never!) drink, because of my condition. But as soon as I was asked to put my card down one time, it turned into me putting it down every time, and then “I have no money, I don’t get paid til Friday, I forgot my wallet.” And I would pay.

Consequences of my own actions but I feel SO defeated and lost.

Hired in 2019. I’ll start:

- Blending egg white powder into milk for the cloud macchiato

- The “Starbucks double shot on ice”

- Refresher boxes only being 2x concentrate and pouring straight from the box into the cup

- That picture of maggots in the berry hibiscus blackberry inclusions

- Clear raspberry syrup making the “cotton candy frappuccino” much less appealing and having customers demand remakes because it wasn’t pink

- Building sweet creams in the milk steaming pitchers

Going through a breakup right now and it’s not fun. But what’s making it worse is my migraines are lasting longer, not responding to my medication, and overall debilitating me way more than usual. Normally even if I’m at a 7/10 on the pain scale I can just go about my day but take it easier than usual, continue taking meds and drinking water, etc. But the past few days have been excruciating and constant and not responding to my rescue medication or Advil or Benadryl or any of my backup options. I’m pretty sure it’s because the breakup is causing me so much more stress than I’m used to. But I’m on day 4 in a row and tempted to go to the ER (even though I feel silly since this flare up seems to be triggered by my breakup). I also had a flare up of another neurological condition the other day for the first time in a while, and I think it’s because of my breakup. Trying my best but I’m at a loss. I don’t even think getting back together with my partner would cure this.

I know this sounds silly and I’m not sure if this is even the right place to post this.

Basically, I got accepted into a fully funded program 1500 miles away from home. I move in two weeks. My partner and I decided that we don’t want to pursue long distance or have him move out there and join me in a few months. I’m devastated and I know this is an opportunity I can’t pass up. But how am I supposed to convince myself that this is worth it when it means losing the person I love the most? Especially when that means my biggest support person is out of my life when I need support the most?

I’m so scared.

If this post isn’t allowed feel free to take it down mods, I would just love some insight if anyone’s ever experienced this.

Ongoing issue at my store that our team is trying to figure out. In short, our SM set in a new “store policy” where a keyholder is not allowed to call out under any circumstances, unless they find their own coverage. This happened after a coworker called out of their keyholder shift with a fever and other sick symptoms that are required for us to not work if we experience them, per food safety rules. One of my coworkers asked if this is something in the partner guide, and our SM said it is not and it is a rule that he is putting in place for the store. Our SM then gave the ultimatum of if we don’t like the policy, we can transfer or demote. We were told that we must find coverage, even if it’s for an opening shift, by calling the other shifts before the opening shift begins for someone to take it and cover, etc. Is this something our SM can actually enforce?

For reference, partner guide on page 31 states:

“In the event of an unplanned absence, e.g., the sudden onset of illness, injury or emergency, or when the partner is using paid sick leave allowable by law, or when the partner is testifying pursuant to a subpoena, the partner will not be held responsible for finding a substitute. The partner is still responsible for notifying the coffeehouse leader or assistant store manager (or partner leading the shift if the manager is not in the coffeehouse, including for opening shifts) of the absence prior to the beginning of the shift so coverage can be arranged if needed.”

It explicitly states we do not need to find out own coverage and our SM needs to. But we have been told that if we don’t find our own coverage, we must work the shift, or demote or transfer to a store where this isn’t a “store policy.”

Any insight would be helpful. Thanks!

Edit to remove some identifying info about the situation.

Trigger warning: SI, addiction/grief, and severe depressive episode

I’m on my way to grad school, fully funded. I have two steady jobs that I am able to fully perform and excel at. I have caring and kind friends and family behind me. I’m living in an apartment for the first time with roommates now and I’m moving to my own alone. It wasn’t easy. I did it!

Spent a full year last year in a depressive episode. I noticed my first symptoms on January 2, 2025. Lost my dear friend to addiction four days later. Tried a partial hospital program in May, almost ended it multiple times in July and August. Went through a long term break up in September. Felt like I was stuck in a rut the whole fall and had a day planned to end it all, January 2, 2026.

I went through hell last year and no matter what I did, I couldn’t pull myself out. I had so many people supporting me and taking care of me, multiple medication adjustments, and everything I could think of to keep me afloat. Some days it just felt so impossible to survive. I’d gone through depressive episodes with psychotic symptoms that lasted 4 months, and shorter ones, but never one this long.

January 2, 2026 rolled around. I was going to do it that night. I went on a second date with someone who told me I had already left a positive impact on his life. Instead of following through with my plan, I went to work for a short shift and told myself I would do it after. And I had a great shift. So instead of doing it after, I went home. And I felt so much better the next day. I was done, I survived.

I share this as a story of hope. The future is happening and the future is bright and I’m very proud of myself for surviving. I know it comes in waves and I don’t know if I’ll experience the same level of depression again, but I’m here now and that’s what matters. I hope anyone struggling is able to find peace and happiness the way I have, even if it’s temporary until the next episode.

Thanks for reading, thank you all.

Basically the title. I’m trying to plan out my schedule for the fall but not having my GTA assignment yet has been making that difficult. My offer letter (which I received and signed in April) explicitly said I’d have an assignment by July 1st *at the latest*. I reached out mid June asking if there was an update since it was getting closer and I hadn’t heard anything yet, and I was told it’s looking like closer to mid July. Is it too early to email my department head asking for an update?

…And also because I’m a 7 year partner whose soul has been broken so many times over the years, that it’s easier to be a robot and just make them than it is to feel any feeling at all (besides existential dread) about this job.

Hello all! Still waiting on my GTA assignment that came as part of my offer, but I was curious what to expect. What’s the workload like, what is it like teaching classes, how difficult is it, etc.? Thanks in advance!

Literally nothing about the drink name tells you that there’s brown sugar syrup, oat milk, or cinnamon powder. It’s only descriptive of the foam. And like, sure, it gets the point of the foam across, but wouldn’t it have made more sense to make it a standard shaken espresso or sub the classic with vanilla instead of taking a whole different drink and just adding the foam to it?

I had two people order this today and they were both confused, and I don’t blame them. One asked us to remake it for something else and the other person said it tasted fine, it just wasn’t what they expected. Also, half the baristas in my store have been making it wrong since it launched because the recipe hardly makes sense given the title.

This launch, like many others since burrito boy took over, has been an absolute nightmare. I can’t believe I’m about to say this (actually, I kind of can), but even the Oleato launch years ago went smoother than this.

I start my program in the fall and I was reecntly told about Zotero. It already seems like it’s gonna be very helpful in my research and writing my thesis. Are there any other tools like this that I should be aware of?

I always hear people say to not judge a book by its cover. Whether it be metaphorically, in the sense of giving something a chance when on the surface you don’t think you’ll enjoy it, or literally, in the sense of walking into a bookstore and picking out a book without reading the blurb on the back. Most people like to know what they’re about to dive into when they pick out a new book.

I, on the other hand, *love* picking out a book solely based on its cover. And I’ve had a surprising success rate in doing so.

So, here are some of the books that I judged based on their covers and nothing else that I ended up absolutely adoring.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov (Pevear and Volokhonsky translation) has become increasingly popular over the past few years, especially on social media, but when I read it I had never heard of it before. The cover depicts half of a woman’s face and half of a cat’s face on the front with the title in a very unique font, and the back cover depicts two landscapes, with a modern city in one half and an ancient city in the other half, with the title and author names mirrored. I originally picked it out from the spine because I saw a last name that was probably not American or English and I knew I loved translated literature already, and when I saw the cover I bought it without hesitation. Bulgakov’s writing style paired with the unique story and utter chaos that takes place was enough to earn it the spot of my favorite book of all time instantly. It still is, to this day. 5/5 stars.

Winter in Sokcho by Elisa Shua Dusapin (Aneesa Abbas Higgins transation) was another book I hadn’t heard about before. Unlike The Master and Margarita, I hardly ever see anyone talk about this book even now, years after I first read it. The cover shows the title in a postcard style with the landscape of a Korean tourist town at the bottom, which is where the story takes place. The cover is also sideways, at a 90° rotation, to match the landscape layout of a real postcard. I was intrigued. I ended up reading it in one sitting. This book only has a 3.53 star rating on Goodreads, and I don’t think that necessarily surprises me, since the author’s writing style is very simplistic and ambiguous. I, however, loved this book. Another 5/5 star rating.

Paradise Logic by Sophie Kemp always surprises people when I show them the (American) cover. If you’re gonna look up what any of these covers look like, have it be this one. It is truly so bizarre, showing Adam and Eve in a very unconventional way - Adam being shirtless with a man bun and beard, and Eve being an anime girl, and the snake being drawn in a cartoon style that you’d see on TV - and I was so dumbfounded that anyone even had the *idea* for this cover, let alone *executed it* in a way that was pretty well done, and so I read it as soon as I got home. This book is an absolute fever dream, and the cover absolutely shows that. I would even argue that there is no better cover that matches a story so well than in this case. But what was I even supposed to expect from this book with a cover like this? (I’m sure I could’ve figured it out from reading the blurb… but I enjoyed being pleasantly surprised a lot more). A 5/5 star read for me, but I can totally recognize that it is not for everyone.

I’ve had some failures in this regard too, for sure. There are some books (I don’t need to mention them, because it’s not really useful to this post or discussion to be super negative) where the covers are phenomenal but I end up DNF’ing the book before the 50% mark because it isn’t as interesting as I was expecting - or funny, emotional, bizarre, sad, happy… so on and so forth.

A cover can do so much for a book. I thoroughly enjoy it when a cover makes the book even better. I hope someone takes this post as a sign to pick a book out by its cover and just hope for the best.

Thanks for reading!

Last logged into partner central probably a month ago, now the flow of it is completely different. I can’t figure out how to edit my routing or account numbers for my bank. I’m pretty sure you used to be able to click a pencil icon to update it, but it’s not there anymore and just says I don’t even have permission to view half of my pay information. Anyone know how to troubleshoot?