u/scorpiobae111

I think Im getting desperate and hitting a breaking point in cosleeping and I just dont know what to do to get my baby to sleep in his crib without absolutely losing his mind. We’ve been cosleeping since he was around a month and a half old because I thought he had a cold and as a FTM who was heavily sleep deprived, I did what I had to out of saving my sanity and let him sleep with me. After he felt better and saw the doctor and was cleared from any serious illnesses, we tried going back to his bassinet and he refused.

Now he’s 9 months old and SCREAM cries any time he’s placed in his crib. Even if its just for a few minutes so I can use the bathroom without having to hold him in my lap. He does not nap, sleep or even play in it. I’ve tried sitting down next to him while he’s in the crib and he still just scream cries until I pick him up. He has a couple toys in there and he does not care about them. Trying to sleep train does nothing as he will scream and scream non stop until his face is red, snot running down his face and coughing from crying so hard. Rubbing his chest/back doesn’t work. Talking and singing to him doesn’t work. Transferring him to the crib after he fell asleep in my bed doesn’t work. The whole “drowsy but awake” doesn’t work. Nothing works. I dont know what to do. The second he doesn’t feel his chest against mine as Im trying to lower to put him down in the crib, he screams then stops when I pick him back up.

I just want my bed back. I want to sleep comfortably. I want to be able to cuddle my husband without having to worry about the baby. I feel like he doesn’t even try to self soothe at all. The crib is right next to my side of the bed so it’s not like he’s even being left alone in a room but he doesn’t care and will cry at the top of his lungs until I hold him.

His bedtime routine is eating dinner, diaper/outfit change, feeding to sleep (breastfed) while listening to lullabies. Sometimes we will read to him but as he’s getting older I feel like he gets more distracted by this and just wants to grab at the book. He seems to fall asleep a bit faster than usual on bath nights but he still has to be next to me the rest of the night and still wakes up multiple times. Not to mention his sleep has been getting worse. The past almost 2 months he’s averaging 7-8 hours a night and he will barely nap throughout the day. He’ll nap for maybe 20-30 minutes if Im lucky. He self weened off of pacifers around 3 months old and refuses a bottle now so he’s exclusively breastfed aside from eating solids throughout the day. I cant even attempt having a normal schedule with him. We both wake up whenever. Go to bed whenever. Im up multiple times in the night still. His last nap will typically be before his dad gets home from work at 4:30pm and baby refuses to sleep until sometimes midnight despite being awake for *hours* and us doing everything we can to get him to go to bed in that time.

I’ve been wanting to use an oil that can help repel pests especially mosquitoes but Im not sure which ones are safe for cats and dogs? And most importantly babies as I have a 9 month old. I did just recently buy lemongrass essential oil cause its always been my favorite but then I read that its really bad for all three so I haven’t used it.

I dont typically like to judge parents especially first time ones but Im not gonna lie, my friends telling me that their baby fell off their bed made me judge them a bit in my head. I didnt understand how they could let that happen and not take precautions until about an hour ago, where my baby fell off for the first (and Im praying the last) time. :/

I have a bed rail on my side of the bed so my son doesnt roll or fall off but theres nothing on my husbands side. Baby seemed sleepy already before the fall so I was gonna lay down with him but I remembered how I left the bathroom door open (we have cats and I didnt want them in the bathroom) so I scooted him closest to the bed rail and left the room for 10 seconds and Im not exaggerating. Normally if I am leaving the room, I put him in his crib while I go to the bathroom, get food, etc. But I figured since I was gonna be so quick and just shutting a door, it was gonna be fine leaving him for a couple of seconds but I was wrong.

Just as I was opening the bedroom door, he was mid fall off the bed, didnt have time to catch him or react in any way and he bonked his head on the floor. Immediately crying and I picked him up and called his dad at work because I was about to freak out. Baby stopped crying after about a minute because I was holding him. I checked him out and he has no red spots, bumps, bruising, eyes look normal and his behavior very quickly went back to his usual. Started playing with a nearby toy and was trying to climb on me and babbling. My husband reassured me that I just made a mistake but I feel so terrible and like a bad mom. The fall wasnt very big which is somewhat reassuring, our bed is low to the floor but I keep telling myself that I shouldve just put him in his crib where he is safe. He doesn’t crawl yet but he does roll and is almost 9 months old. I guess I underestimated how much he can roll cause he wouldve had to gone all the way across the bed. Ive been googling symptoms and red flags to look out for and he has none so I’ll just be monitoring him but I cant shake how awful I feel and that I literally know better.

Im in the US so bumpers on the crib are banned and I guess mesh bumpers are also a risk of suffocation or entanglement so we’re just supposed to keep the crib completely clear of anything? Obviously no blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, etc. Ive been cosleeping with my baby for about 7 months now (he is 8 months old currently and around a month he started hating his bassinet) But now I want to crib train him so last night we got his crib set up and let him sit in it just to see what its like. He fell backwards into the corner and hit his head on the wooden bar and immediately started scream crying. He’s okay, just bonked his head but is there anything I can do to prevent that? Or is this just how its gonna be and something I have to look forward to? He’s not crawling yet but he is getting in the position, pulling himself up on things and getting a lot more mobile so I know this wont be the last time he does something like that.

I know a lot of people hate cosleeping and believe me, my husband and I were totally against it in the beginning but once he started hating the bassinet, I needed to prioritize my sanity from already having sleep deprivation with a newborn. Especially with one who screamed any time he was placed in the bassinet. We do practice the safe sleep 7 and there is a ComfyBumpy with mesh lining so he cannot roll or fall off the bed. Now Im wanting him to be a little more independent and sleep in his own space.

Might be the wrong sub for this but I just want to know if anyone else has this problem. My sons almost 8 months and is 25lbs and every so often I get such bad pains from carrying him around every day. I guess it would be considered my pec? Area above my breast, below my collarbone and going towards my armpit absolutely kills me. It hurts even worse if I babywear him a lot that day which I did yesterday for a little over an hour. Today it hurts so bad even though Ive carried him around like normal/on my hip. I am right handed so my go to is just supporting and holding him on my right side. Its just random sharp pain and isnt specific to whatever activity I do. Even happens if Im just laying down on my back or not holding my baby.

I dont know what to do about it. If I should go see someone like a doctor, chiropractor or a masseuse. Im just tired of being in pain so often from carrying my son. Its not like I can really even stop because hes my own baby. I dont think its a deeper issue because Ive never once had this problem before in my life. Im not sure if I have a pulled muscle or what. I guess I just want some reassurance or advice on this:/