u/sixfingeredman7

I used to think having a WFH job would be the dream. You get to not waste time commuting, do minor chores and you don't have to wear a bra??? Brilliant.

But I've found it to be worse for me in a lot of ways.

1. I have no real break. I wake up, be with the kids until I bring them to daycare. Then I come home, shower, then log into work. My husband does pick up so when I log off work, I'm instantly in mom mode until bedtime and by that point into 830. I do clean up and then I have like maybe 45 minutes of "down time" and it just doesn't feel like enough

2. I'm more "available" while at work. If the kids are home I can hear them. They're tantrums, arguments or just general noise. Or my husband will come in and ask questions or chat.

3. My human interaction is limited. This is more specific to my job I guess but I don't talk to anyone casually during the day like I would have if I'm in the office. It's limited to focused meetings and it really isn't the same. This makes my interactions limited to my husband and kids outside of work. And it feels really isolating.

It's like I have the downsides of a SHM (isolation and limited break) and the downsides of a working mom (not seeing my kids and the stress of work).

This is really just a vent and to see if any other WFH moms feel the same.

I've always been fantastic at my job. I took a lot of pride in my work and was always praised for being a good employee.

Even when I had my first I was able to balance everything between my husband and I.

Then I became pregnant with my second. And the pregnancy kicked my ASS. My work tanked. But ok I was pregnant so it will pass. But then I became so burnt out always handling at least one kid. My toddler was getting more challenging the baby was demanding and it started to take a toll on my marriage. Then took an even further toll on my work.

My job is very unforgiving when it comes to mistakes. And I made one two many over the past year and lost my job.

Now I'm just sitting here in shock. I can't eat. I can't think. I just keep crying. That was one of the few things I had as an identity to just me.

My husband makes fantastic money so financially we're ok. But my pride and confidence is shattered.

Now I'm just a mom. And I know that's ok but I'm really struggling with it right now.

More specifically your hairdresser or nail tech if you go to the same person each time.

I was a dog mom way before I had kids. I grew up with dogs and all my friends had them.

Almost all the moms I know have a pet and most of them are dogs. It is WILD to me how casually some of them act around potentially dangerous situations.

I'll give you some examples.

One friend regularly brings her toddler to a large dog park with their dog. I went once with her with my dog (without my kids) and she let him just run around and even climb all over the little obstacle courses they have. I was getting so nervous because there were several dogs there that were a little too interested in him, but she just shrugged off and said that she knows almost all the dogs that come to this park and is not concerned.

Another time we were at a 4th of July party and there was a 10-month-old that was just sitting there minding her own business and one of the dogs came up and started barking in her face. The mom of that baby quickly picked her up and walked away. The owner of that dog (WHO IS A MOM OF 2) Said her dog didn't mean anything by it and she shouldn't be scared.

Then my own experience. I went over to someone's house for book club. I don't know her well but I had my baby with me and she has a dog. I told this person before I came that I'm going to have my baby with me. And I think this dog had never seen a baby before because they don't have kids. But this dog would not stop growling and lunging at my baby and I was extremely uncomfortable. No one else seemed concerned about this dog's behavior besides one other friend who did her best to keep the dog away from us. And even when I brought it up later one friend who has a baby the same age as mine kind of waved me off and said "oh we know that dog she would have never done anything"

I always feel like the bad guy in these situations cuz I'm always the one that tries to say something but then it comes off as me being a dog hater even though I'm not.

I'm a suburban mom in my 30s. You look at me in the street and I'm probably the last person you'd think of reading this series.

But my son's daycare teacher had a MONGO IS APPALLED shirt on and I got SOOOO EXCITED

I told her I liked her shirt and she was so surprised. She said no one ever got it and I was the first one to recognize it. I hope I made her day just as much as she made mine.

We have a pretty common age gap between our kids (2 years 3 months)

Currently they are 3 years old and 10 months old. So obviously they aren't playing with each other now. But I can see the bond starting to form between them.

Will it be a year? 2 years?

I promise this is not a post to judge any one name. But this is coming from somebody who grew up with a name that had to be constantly explained, constantly corrected and gave me a lot of grief the older I got.

My parents were a little overexcited to have a girl after having three boys so they gave me a very unique name that sure was pretty cute when I was little.

But as I got older and had more agency I really started to resent it. I got weird looks from college professors and was self-conscious when applying for jobs.

Eventually at 24 yo I ended up changing my name to my middle name which is what I had people call me for years.

My mom was kind of sad when she found out. But eventually admitted that she didn't think that far ahead when choosing my name and told me " I guess I should have realized that I wasn't just naming a little girl. I was naming a future adult"

Not sure if this post will resonate with others idk.

We've been married for 7 years and have a 3 yo and a 10 month old.

Before kids and responsibilities we had a great relationship. Yes we had our fights but they were small and short lived. Our flaws were tolerated by one another and accepted. Now it's like everything about the other is amplified 1000x and is barely tolerated. We fight ALL THE TIME. And after a couple years of constant fighting it's starting to weigh on us. The love isn't there as it used to be. We're both just so worn down. And I worry sometimes that we just aren't the right people for each other.

We even tried marriage counseling. And she asked us the big questions when assessing our situation. Has there ever been indefinitely? Financial issues? Political differences? Abuse of any kind? Etc. and we had none of those. She helped us the best she could. Teaching us how to argue in a healthier way. But that was kind of...it. she actually told us we were one of the most solid couples she's had.

We still walked not feeling totally happy with our situation. I look at other couples and think "they must be so happy with each other" and I want that so badly. Neither of us want to split up. We do have happy moments especially with our kids. We love being together as a family. And at the end of the day our relationship isn't so horrible that we would divide our family over it.

It's just hard. I want to be happy with him. I just don't know how anymore.

Sorry not sorry.

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I have seen way too many moms in my circle celebrate when their little girls are "sassy" or have an attitude like it's something cute.

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It's not.

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And laughing and rewarding it is teaching them that that behavior is appropriate.

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It's the same as saying boys will be boys. Do I shrug off when my son pulls a kids shirt when he's upset? Or plays too rough with his little brother? No.

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So don't shrug off when your girl says "I DONT LIKE YOUUUU" sticking their tongue out and walking off.

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It's not sassy it's rude.

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Rant over.

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Little late posting this but oh well.

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It was the best damn idea I've ever had. Especially when you're a mom of young kids. It wasn't a fancy hotel, and it wasn't even far from my house.

Let me tell you what I did:

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Picked up a fuck ton of sushi. And chocolates from a bakery. A bottle of wine from the gas station.

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Checked in at 5 and ate my dinner at my own god damned pace while watching Pride and Prejudice. Then enjoyed every chocolate without having to offer some to someone else. And drank directly from the bottle of wine cuz fuck it why not.

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Then I read my book for a bit and then I slept.

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And slept and slept and slept.

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I woke up at 6 because of my internal clock, then slept some more.

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I ended up sleeping for ten hours. TEN HOURS LADIES.

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Then I had a quiet breakfast where I didn't have to get anyone their milk. And drank my coffee when it was hot.

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This is my 4th Mother's Day. I've done the brunch, the massage, the lavish pedicure. Nothing compared to this.

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10/10 would recommend.

This is my first time hosting a birthday party where I'm inviting my son's classmates. I was going to do it at the park but, of course l, it's going to be cold and raining on Sunday.

I called every indoor playground place within a reasonable distance and they're all booked out. So, I decided to just host it inside my home.

There won't be a ton of kids, only 7 rsvp'd.

I'm more just trying to figure out how to entertain a bunch of 3-year-olds for 2 hours.

I mean, I could just let them wreak havoc around my house and I really wouldn't care, but I worry that they're going to get bored after 30 minutes.

I've thought about getting one of those cheap ball pits moving my coffee table away and putting it in my living room. But I don't know what else I can do.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

There has to be a reason. There just has to be!

I was showing the movie to my 3 yo. It's one of my top Pixar movies.

Well the scene where Helen is in the jet frantically trying to evade the missiles and eventually pleading that there are children on board sent me.

I think being a mom has made me so effing weak towards movies even remotely involving kids. Even silly Disney movies.

Sooo yeah I've gone a little nuts

Sooo because of the pfas danger I switched everything to stainless steel. I bought the cephalon brand cuz it was within my price range. The only thing I didn't get was a single burner square griddle pan. I make a LOT of pancakes and bacon for my family so I use it at least once a week.

But they don't seem to exist in stainless steel for some reason? I found like...one and it was $180 which I simply can't afford. I also saw a cast iron option which I'd consider but I don't love cuz it's heavy AF.

Anyone have any options for me?

Last night I was putting my 3 yo to bed. Our dog was just hanging out in the room just to be with us. She decided to jump on his bed and lay there while I was reading him a story.

When I went to leave and turn out the lights I called her to follow me out of the bedroom. That's when my son asked "Mommy, can Piper sleep with me?". I asked, are you sure? He said yes he wanted her to stay.

So I told her to stay and she obeyed. She just went to the foot of his bed and laid down as if she's been doing this for years. When it was time for me to go to bed a few hours later I quietly called her out so she could pee and when we went back upstairs. I assume she was going to follow me into my bedroom. But she just kind of stood there waiting to see if I let her back in his. I thought "fuck it" and opened his door and she quietly went in and assumed her same position on his bed.

It made my heart throb because I have such fond memories of my cat sleeping on my head for years as a kid. And I think this is the start of my kid having a much closer bond with our dog ❤️

I moved 2 hours away from my village and for a few years I just sat in self pity and loneliness.

It wasn't until my oldest turned 3 that I started getting invited to daycare birthday parties. And it was a natural way to get the phone numbers of other moms.

And you know what I did? I texted those moms on a random, beautiful Saturday inviting them over. Was it awkward AF? Yes. Did most of them politely decline? Also yes.

But some did come. And I was surprised to find out that they were just as lonely as me, waiting for an opportunity to find friends.

I decided to keep it going and texted the same people today that I'll be at the park at 10. This time I made it a group chat. Again, I felt very VERY awkward doing this to complete strangers but I did it anyways cuz....fuck it. I'm tired of not having friends.

The convo went like this:

Me: Hi everyone! We'll be at Parsons field at 10 if

anyone wants to join us!

Mom1: I'm in!

Mom2: ugh I wish I could but I'm sorting through trash bags of hand me downs 😭

Mom1: do you need help?? I actually love sorting through clothes

Mom2: wait are you serious? I hate this shit

Me: I'd love to help!

Mom2: my house is a mess guys

Mom3: who's isn't girl. I'm down to help but I won't be there till about 1030

Mom2: omg you guys are the best

Me: I'm stopping at Dunks I'll get munchkins for the kids. Text me your coffee order!

Aaand just like that. Boom. Village.

I'm looking for movie suggestions that really tug at your heart strings.

I've had a roller coaster of a week and my emotions need a..... Reset? I think a good cry when being immersed in a movie will help me.

Thanks y'all

I've made it my mission to make sure every man I know whether it's my brothers, male cousins, guy friends, male coworkers and pretty much any other guy willing to listen:

That the expectation of bouncing back after having kids is complete and utter horse shit.

I have explained in extreme detail the changes a person's body goes through when you are pregnant. The impact it leaves after that baby leaves your body. And the extreme change your breasts go through after breastfeeding.

I make sure they all know that women who go through dramatic changes in their looks and do not immediately revert back to how they were before kids has nothing to do with laziness or lack of care. But has everything to do with genetics, time and a person's circumstances.

It's important. It's necessary. It's required they know. And know every little detail. Because that expectation needs to VANISH from society.

And for us that did bounce back, whether it be from hard work or surgery. I hope you did it for you. Not your husband. Not society. YOU.

I want some inspiration on my next tattoo.

Initially I was going to get their birth flowers entwined together on my ankle but I'd like to hear other ideas in case I like them better.

Thanks!