u/slmpington

My husband and I got married less than a year ago. We had a great wedding, but I really had to pinch pennies. My parents are lower middle class, divorced and single. There was a lot of tension with me and my family regarding the wedding due to financial aspects, but my in laws (who are very wealthy) helped us financially. Everything they said they’d pay for I went under budget. I was super easy with every wedding decision, I went with the least expensive options, I let my MIL do what she wanted and gave her free will wedding decision wise, and was overall grateful and it really eased my anxiety with my wedding. I couldn’t afford to do a big bachelorette so I kept it local (I’m not from here so none of my bridesmaids came/flew in, but one), and my mom couldn’t afford to throw me a bridal shower so I didn’t have one. I was fine with that.

Fast forward to my BIL’s wedding. Their entire wedding experience has been entirely different than ours. They chose the most expensive wedding venue in the most expensive city in our state (it’s a destination wedding spot) on July 4th weekend. My now SIL comes from money, and her parents paid for a lot of the wedding. My in laws also pitched in. During the wedding weekend, I heard several remarks about their contributions (there was a lot of tension between my in laws & the bride) and found out that they pitched in more financially for theirs than they did ours. Just one example, but my mom paid for my photographer. I got the cheapest one I could find. For this wedding, my in laws flew two photographers in from across the country to take Vogue worthy pictures and paid for it, including pictures at the rehearsal dinner. Overall I did the math with what they contributed to ours vs theirs and they paid significantly more for theirs. They also threw them an engagement party at their house and a newly wedded after party the next day catered with somewhere probably around 75 people. They didn’t do either of those for us. My SIL had a huge bachelorette and expensive bridal shower. My MIL paid for some of the bachelorette (she did pay for some of mine as well) and I’m not sure about the bridal shower.

Their entire wedding was treated so differently than ours as if theirs was more important. I wasn’t a bridezilla by any means (my SIL was at times and complained about how my MIL was acting the entire wedding planning process) so maybe they thought I didn’t care, but my feelings are really, really hurt.

My husband doesn’t care about the financial aspect, but he does constantly feel and express that they favorite his brother over him. They get his brother anything he wants, always invites him over (we live 15 min away and I work 5 min from their house - they never invite us over for dinner, take us out to eat, etc, but my BIL is over there several times a week) and constantly spend time with him. My husband has expressed this and gets into arguments with his parents, but nothing seems to change. I’ve always felt the favoritism between me and my now SIL with my in laws but it’s not my place to say anything. I now have a baby on the way, and I’m worried sick they’re not going to treat my daughter with the same love and affection as they do the other grandkids (my husband has a sister too with kids) solely because she’s our kid. These people are my only real family other than my mom and brother who live across the country. I don’t know I have so many mixed feelings and I don’t know what to say or how to handle it. My husband knows how I feel, but won’t say anything to them. At this point, I don’t want to see or talk to my in laws. I don’t want to see my SIL either because she tends to brag a lot and I don’t feel like hearing about it. I just want a break from them to gather my thoughts and to figure out how to move forward or if how im feeling is even valid. I love them a lot, but my feelings are really hurt.

I (28f) am a first time (soon to be) mom & I’m looking at infant cares to put my then 4 month old in 2-3 days a week while my husband & I work. I live in a smaller community and have limited daycares to choose from - they have insane waitlists AND are insanely expensive due to where we live in our state, so our options are VERY limited .

I went to a daycare yesterday and it seems like we’d be likely to get off the waitlist in time for when I need to return to work. However, it’s not guaranteed and so far this was my least favorite daycare we visited. It seems chaotic, dirty, & revenue hungry. But because our options are very limited, this is still (unfortunately) an infant care we’re considering as our last resort. I have a few other concerns that I’m wondering if I’m overthinking:

1. The give me revenue hungry vibes. First example being they opened another room which used to be the director’s office to fit more babies. I was given the impression that they were fitting a lot of babies into one room for extra revenue, but it was technically legal bc of the squat footage per kid, etc. Apparently the workers in that room were overwhelmed with the amount of babies, so next year they’re taking less babies for that room; however, the whole thing just felt very, very off to me. Another example is a non refundable registration fee that guarantees us on the waitlist but does NOT guarantee us a spot. This is the first infant care that has required this registration fee. Other places just let us get on the waitlist. Just seems weird & money hungry. It threw me off a bit.

2. Now this is the BIG one for me - the director warned me that I would need to make sure my baby can nap with bright light and loud background noise (and she doesn’t mean sleep sounds). She said the babies nap with ALL of the overhead lights on and in a shared room where other children loudly play. Is this normal??? These babies are between 6 weeks & 12 months - shouldn’t they have a separate area specifically for nap time where the babies can peacefully nap? Or am I overthinking this and this is a normal infant care type ordeal?

I’m pregnant now with my first, and I’m genuinely curious to hear people’s personal opinions about having babies back to back or waiting a few years. Lets discuss :)

I’m pregnant now with my first, and I’m genuinely curious to hear people’s personal opinions about having babies back to back or waiting a few years. Lets discuss :)

Overview: I’m heavily leaning towards the Joie Chive & Mint travel system. I’m looking to buy one stroller to last us at least two kids. The Chive stroller has all terrain wheels & can be expanded from single to double, and the Mint car seat is lightweight and doesn’t necessarily need a base (my car will have one but that’s it). It doesn’t come with a bassinet styled seat, but I can purchase a bassinet attachment for $250.

My question is do I even need a bassinet for the stroller? Im due in mid October and live in Rhode Island. It’s pretty cold from December to March. I’m questioning how often I’ll even be walking with my little one although we do like to walk around our neighborhood and a couple of downtowns nearby, especially with me trying to lose the baby weight. Do people even take their babies on walks when it’s cold how? And how cold is too cold? Anyway, struggling to decide if I need to spend the extra $250 on the bassinet.

I plan on breast feeding for as long as I possibly can during the first year. Goal is to make it a full 12 months. I’ll be off work for 3 months, but working a full time 9-5 job afterwards. Any advice regarding these two pumps and which might better suit my lifestyle?

Just curious. I’m 15w4d and today was the day I could no longer wear any of my high waisted work pants