u/smalltalkisntfun

Just want to know what the story is of how you met. Feel free to include the blossoming of your relationship :)

hi all I’m 21f and don’t pay rent so I have no part in controlling what they do. My mom and her bf BOTH chain smoke in our 800 sq ft apartment. I’ve asked plenty of times nicely to stop smoking and neither one listens to me. She smokes in the living room and he smokes in the bedroom, and my room is right in between them!!! We have 1 cat and 1 dog and I feel terrible for them. my mom is a hoarder and has depression as well so on top of this the house is crowded and dirty. I’ve tried cleaning but she somehow makes it dirty again and just puts her stuff anywhere she first sees, she never puts anything back where the found it. EVERYTHING smells like cigarettes. my school bag, my work clothes, my shoes, etc. I will pet my dog and after my hand will smell like old smoke!!! its disgusting and animal abuse!!! sometimes my window is open and if they smoke it comes right into my window! Its so irritating. The house has barely any ventilation so it all smells like stale smoke.My nose is so sensitive, I don’t know what to do

I so badly want to go for a tan whether it be a spray or the bed but i’m so nervous of how it works

hi all, i 21f ran into an old best friend at the gym. It’s mainly my fault for our falling out, we were friends when i was 15-17 and she was 17-19. We were kinda inseparable the day we met until one of her old friends came back into her life and all of a sudden we were a trio, and as an insecure and anxious person, i always felt like the outcast afterwards. I am def the chubby one of the group, and they were insta pic and gym girls, and also enjoyed partying every weekend. i grew out of it and didn’t really communicate with anyone, and kinda just distanced myself. Anyway not the point, me n my bestie have always kinda kept in distant contact, saying happy birthday every year, sometimes commenting on photos, stuff like that, but nothing ever consistent or out of script unfortunately. I miss her dearly. She was like an older sister to me, and we gave each other advice, and we could be those friends to run to the grocery store as a hang out and it’d be fun. everything was fun with her but at those ages, boys came into the picture. I’m married now, yea i’m only 21… and i think im ready to make room for friends again. I don’t know if i should reach out again. It was a bit awkward at the gym, a different friend of hers was with her, we just mentioned it’s nice to see each other and to take care. i brought up hanging out, i was so anxious though i couldn’t really get my words out. it seemed like she wanted to say more, but both of us were probably really anxious lol, it was so random… i havent been to the gym in over a year and today was my first day back. do i reach out? what do i say? i’m just scared of her going back to her other friends and talking about it :/

Hi all. I had a tabby for 18 years and she was my bestfriend. I’m 21 so she was with me pretty much my entire life.
She has unfortunately passed this year and I’m starting to look for my next furry friend!
The problem is, I can’t choose. There is another tabby for adoption, he’s about 6 months old. And there is another tabby, she’s about 4 months old. These two are the sweetest in the shelter. I’d love to get a calico but all the ones at the shelter are super timid.
How were you able to choose? I have a small dog that doesn’t really care for cats but won’t bother the cat if the cat doesn’t bother him. The 4 month old girl hisses at other cats but is not aggressive towards them. She’s just verbal. The 6month boy is a total dork, he rolls all over the place and kneads his paws on everything. They’re both total snug bugs, especially the girl. but I am afraid of picking the wrong one for my house. :(
I had a 100% feeling for the boy when i first saw him, but then i got to know the girl and fell totally in love, and she’s soo tiny, and already has a huge personality. She fell asleep on my shoulder and my old cat did that all the time😭
Help?? And if a new cat comes to the shelter, chances are I will want that one too!!! How do you pick?!? I can not get 2 lol

Hi all,
I’m 21f and got married August 2025. We filed taxes together and I’m still under my mom’s health insurance. We are Husky D. Unfortunately I was not aware I had to contact the state about the update, and the insurance was still active and for some reason my stupid brain thought it would be fine as I’m still under my mom’s household, and I can stay on until 26, and we’re all living together.

Our insurance just “expired” due to my mom not updating our income in time (I’m not sure how it works, but nothing to do with us- i guess it’s a yearly thing to make sure we’re still eligible). So now we have to re-enroll but I’m also going to have to mention the marriage update as it’s a good time to mention it as everything will be ‘fresh’

How screwed am I? What will happen? I had therapy covered through this and my wisdom teeth surgery. Will I have to pay it back? Will I be fined? I’m so nervous and don’t want to make any problems!!

I’ve graduated with my associates from community college and now going for my bach at a 4-year uni. I’ve been doing online classes at this campus since the Spring semester, but have not yet visited the campus!! I’m literally shitting my pants. I’m going just to visit and see what’s around, there is a philosophy group that is having a welcoming lunch I may attend, not sure yet as I’m already nervous just going to the campus. I’m afraid of finding parking, not having a valid ID (i have an online version, no physical student ID), and probably just getting lost and looking stupid. I’m doing online classes again so there’s no point in me going here but i’d love to just take advantage of the campus while it’s available to me. Helpppp! I don’t know what I’m anxious about, I guess just the whole point is that I’m registered as a junior, but in reality it’s like the freshmen nerves all over again.

Im not really religious but I am insanely spiritual and believe in souls and oneness and all that stuff but truly can never wrap my finger around death and what’s after. If my husband dies, i’m left in this physical realm without him and he’s somewhere unknown. How would I even cope with that if i have no belief system of death? I’ve had a couple deaths in my life but I’ve simply accepted them. Ofcourse it would be truly different with someone I am around 24/7 and plan to spend my entire life with. Same feeling about my mom & dad who are both in their 50s and kinda going through some health issues atm. Absolutely devastating and terrifying. Nothing about what’s after death makes sense. Why are we here? Why am I here? It’s to live & let live, to experience the good and bad, but what the hell? Am I going to see the characters in this story line in the next story line? Will i remember who each one is? Will I remember specific memories or will it just be a feeling of energy? it’s so scary. i think im just afraid of death in general, whatever is after.

trying to feel less alone in working my life away every weekend lol.. morning PCA worker and then i have an hour before i start my pizzeria job… every saturday. I feel like a slug when i go in at night. i’m off sundays so im just dragging the whole day until i go back monday. Blah.

i work in a pizzeria and i’m really tired of people ordering over the phone for dine in. just come and order like a normal restaurant. would you order at a diner over the phone and say you’re going to eat it there? the cooks say don’t take the orders but then the customers will complain and say they’re going somewhere else

edit * accept lol

hi guys, i get really dizzy and have a nauseous feeling anytime bodily fluids/functions/parts are mentioned like someone talking about their veins, seeing my own veins, someone getting a needle in front of me, someone talking about their diagnosis like cancer or anything life changing. I feel sickly and anxious. Multiple people in my family have been either diagnosed with cancer or have had benign tumors removed. The idea of even them finding a lump makes me want to pass out. My cousin takes insulin and them discussing how they use the needle makes me feel like i’m going to throw up. My coworker is studying to become a cardiologist and she has talked about the heart and the valves pumping and all that cool stuff. It’s interesting but makes me so queasy. I’ve had my blood drawn from my arm a couple times but anything that has to do with my hand veins makes me want to pass out and they’ve avoided hand vein IVs with me. Is there a way to get rid of this? My life is consistently around health talk and i want to react normally and be involved with my family’s health care but I genuinely can’t function normally.

What kind of food do you feed them? What brands, how much, etc? Getting my own cat after my 18 year old passed and I think I was lucky with her health for feeding her only friskies and dry food. People say that brand is no good? Not sure.

hi guys i’m genuinely working my a$$ off working nights in a restaurant and i just don’t have the energy to go out after work. classes are starting soon so that will be another factor. i’m also married and we both don’t enjoy the whole party environment if we don’t know anyone else that’s there. sure we can go to the bar but we enjoy dancing and enjoying group hangouts together w friends but we both don’t have that rn, he’s a foreigner so it’s hard for him to make friends our age and im just antisocial and awkward, working on that rn. I just have really bad fomo like everyone else is partying every weekend and enjoying their friends and stuff. Anyone else just being antisocial and working and then going home after and just chillingggg??? i feel out of the loop, you only ever see ppl posting hangouts and parties on social media, so it makes me feel like i’m missing out on stuff…? on my days off i enjoy just finding quiet places to hang or people-watch in the city. i do wish i had more of a social life but im honestly super insecure and dont wanna put that on anyone else right now

I feel like I’m a really difficult person to be friends with, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m overreacting, mentally ill, neurodivergent, or just not compatible with the people around me.
One of my biggest issues is that I get overstimulated really easily. For example, when I’m driving with someone, I sometimes just want to listen to music and decompress. I’ll tell them that I’m feeling overstimulated and just want a quiet drive, but they’ll keep talking anyway. After that, I shut down. I get really quiet, irritated, and probably passive-aggressive because I don’t know how else to handle it.
I’ve also noticed that I can’t seem to maintain friendships long-term. My current friend is my longest friendship, and lately I’ve been feeling myself slowly getting annoyed with him. It’s almost like I recognize the same pattern happening again, where eventually I’ll end up pushing him away.
There are a few things that overwhelm me:
He’s pretty clingy and will text me constantly, almost like a personal diary, even when I haven’t replied.
Our conversations rarely stay on the same topic. If I’m talking about the ground, he’s talking about the sky. It feels impossible to have a focused conversation.
He doesn’t drive, so I’m responsible for taking us everywhere whenever we hang out.
He fills every moment of silence with talking. I never get a second to just think, and it becomes mentally exhausting.
Sometimes I also feel like everything he says is either trying to one-up me or subtly challenge me. I genuinely don’t know if that’s actually happening or if it’s just the way my brain interprets social interactions.
I’ve always struggled with the belief that my friends secretly like other people more than me. I usually assume I’m the boring one or the least interesting person in the group. At the same time, I genuinely love being alone. I recharge by myself, so it’s confusing because I also experience FOMO and occasionally wish I had a friend group to go out with.
The problem is that groups make me anxious. It always feels like everyone is secretly judging each other. Whenever I’ve had friend groups, they’ve talked badly about people behind their backs, and it makes me think they probably do the same thing to me when I’m not there.
The closest friendship I ever had was from middle school through high school. We eventually drifted apart because she moved away. I never questioned where I stood with her, and I felt completely comfortable. Sometimes I wonder if that was just a rare connection and if I simply don’t click with most people.
I had another good friend during my freshman year of college, but things changed after she reconnected with one of her old friends. The dynamic shifted. They became very social and partied every weekend, while I wasn’t really into that lifestyle. I slowly felt left out and convinced myself they were having more fun without me, so I removed myself from the friendship. I regret it now, but it’s in the past.
My current friend has a lot of online friends from his home state that he games with, and they visit each other often. I’m his only nearby friend, so sometimes I feel like he relies on me too much because he constantly asks me for rides. He never offers gas money, which makes me feel a little taken advantage of.
Another thing I struggle with is that whenever I try to give him advice, it usually turns into, “I already know that.” It feels like my input isn’t really wanted. I know he’s autistic, and I genuinely try to be patient and understanding. As for me, I’m only diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, but I’ve wondered if there could also be autism or OCD involved because some of my thought patterns seem to line up.
Sorry if this is all over the place. I originally made a post asking if I was overreacting about something, and most of the replies said I sounded like a horrible friend. Honestly, I understand why they said that, and it broke my heart because I’ve always wanted to fit in.
I’ve spent most of my life feeling like the background friend. I don’t think I’ve ever really found my “people,” and I don’t know if the answer is to distance myself from everyone for a while and focus on myself, or if I actually need to force myself into more social situations through exposure.
I also haven’t really tried making new female friends since my last friend group ended in 2022. My only close friend now is autistic and trans, and I’ve realized I don’t even know how to approach friendships with cis women my age anymore. I don’t know what to talk about, how to act, or how to fit in.
A huge part of it is insecurity. I always feel bigger than other girls my age, and I’m constantly comparing myself. I want to fit in so badly, but the harder I try, the more awkward I become.
I guess I’m just trying to understand whether these are normal insecurities that I’ve let spiral, whether I’m unintentionally sabotaging every friendship I have, or whether there’s something deeper going on that I should probably talk to a professional about.

I feel like I’m a really difficult person to be friends with, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m overreacting, mentally ill, neurodivergent, or just not compatible with the people around me.
One of my biggest issues is that I get overstimulated really easily. For example, when I’m driving with someone, I sometimes just want to listen to music and decompress. I’ll tell them that I’m feeling overstimulated and just want a quiet drive, but they’ll keep talking anyway. After that, I shut down. I get really quiet, irritated, and probably passive-aggressive because I don’t know how else to handle it.
I’ve also noticed that I can’t seem to maintain friendships long-term. My current friend is my longest friendship, and lately I’ve been feeling myself slowly getting annoyed with him. It’s almost like I recognize the same pattern happening again, where eventually I’ll end up pushing him away.
There are a few things that overwhelm me:
He’s pretty clingy and will text me constantly, almost like a personal diary, even when I haven’t replied.
Our conversations rarely stay on the same topic. If I’m talking about the ground, he’s talking about the sky. It feels impossible to have a focused conversation.
He doesn’t drive, so I’m responsible for taking us everywhere whenever we hang out.
He fills every moment of silence with talking. I never get a second to just think, and it becomes mentally exhausting.
Sometimes I also feel like everything he says is either trying to one-up me or subtly challenge me. I genuinely don’t know if that’s actually happening or if it’s just the way my brain interprets social interactions.
I’ve always struggled with the belief that my friends secretly like other people more than me. I usually assume I’m the boring one or the least interesting person in the group. At the same time, I genuinely love being alone. I recharge by myself, so it’s confusing because I also experience FOMO and occasionally wish I had a friend group to go out with.
The problem is that groups make me anxious. It always feels like everyone is secretly judging each other. Whenever I’ve had friend groups, they’ve talked badly about people behind their backs, and it makes me think they probably do the same thing to me when I’m not there.
The closest friendship I ever had was from middle school through high school. We eventually drifted apart because she moved away. I never questioned where I stood with her, and I felt completely comfortable. Sometimes I wonder if that was just a rare connection and if I simply don’t click with most people.
I had another good friend during my freshman year of college, but things changed after she reconnected with one of her old friends. The dynamic shifted. They became very social and partied every weekend, while I wasn’t really into that lifestyle. I slowly felt left out and convinced myself they were having more fun without me, so I removed myself from the friendship. I regret it now, but it’s in the past.
My current friend has a lot of online friends from his home state that he games with, and they visit each other often. I’m his only nearby friend, so sometimes I feel like he relies on me too much because he constantly asks me for rides. He never offers gas money, which makes me feel a little taken advantage of.
Another thing I struggle with is that whenever I try to give him advice, it usually turns into, “I already know that.” It feels like my input isn’t really wanted. I know he’s autistic, and I genuinely try to be patient and understanding. As for me, I’m only diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, but I’ve wondered if there could also be autism or OCD involved because some of my thought patterns seem to line up.
Sorry if this is all over the place. I originally made a post asking if I was overreacting about something, and most of the replies said I sounded like a horrible friend. Honestly, I understand why they said that, and it broke my heart because I’ve always wanted to fit in.
I’ve spent most of my life feeling like the background friend. I don’t think I’ve ever really found my “people,” and I don’t know if the answer is to distance myself from everyone for a while and focus on myself, or if I actually need to force myself into more social situations through exposure.
I also haven’t really tried making new female friends since my last friend group ended in 2022. My only close friend now is autistic and trans, and I’ve realized I don’t even know how to approach friendships with cis women my age anymore. I don’t know what to talk about, how to act, or how to fit in.
A huge part of it is insecurity. I always feel bigger than other girls my age, and I’m constantly comparing myself. I want to fit in so badly, but the harder I try, the more awkward I become.
I guess I’m just trying to understand whether these are normal insecurities that I’ve let spiral, whether I’m unintentionally sabotaging every friendship I have, or whether there’s something deeper going on that I should probably talk to a professional about.

I feel like I’m a really difficult person to be friends with, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m overreacting, mentally ill, neurodivergent, or just not compatible with the people around me.
One of my biggest issues is that I get overstimulated really easily. For example, when I’m driving with someone, I sometimes just want to listen to music and decompress. I’ll tell them that I’m feeling overstimulated and just want a quiet drive, but they’ll keep talking anyway. After that, I shut down. I get really quiet, irritated, and probably passive-aggressive because I don’t know how else to handle it.
I’ve also noticed that I can’t seem to maintain friendships long-term. My current friend is my longest friendship, and lately I’ve been feeling myself slowly getting annoyed with him. It’s almost like I recognize the same pattern happening again, where eventually I’ll end up pushing him away.
There are a few things that overwhelm me:
He’s pretty clingy and will text me constantly, almost like a personal diary, even when I haven’t replied.
Our conversations rarely stay on the same topic. If I’m talking about the ground, he’s talking about the sky. It feels impossible to have a focused conversation.
He doesn’t drive, so I’m responsible for taking us everywhere whenever we hang out.
He fills every moment of silence with talking. I never get a second to just think, and it becomes mentally exhausting.
Sometimes I also feel like everything he says is either trying to one-up me or subtly challenge me. I genuinely don’t know if that’s actually happening or if it’s just the way my brain interprets social interactions.
I’ve always struggled with the belief that my friends secretly like other people more than me. I usually assume I’m the boring one or the least interesting person in the group. At the same time, I genuinely love being alone. I recharge by myself, so it’s confusing because I also experience FOMO and occasionally wish I had a friend group to go out with.
The problem is that groups make me anxious. It always feels like everyone is secretly judging each other. Whenever I’ve had friend groups, they’ve talked badly about people behind their backs, and it makes me think they probably do the same thing to me when I’m not there.
The closest friendship I ever had was from middle school through high school. We eventually drifted apart because she moved away. I never questioned where I stood with her, and I felt completely comfortable. Sometimes I wonder if that was just a rare connection and if I simply don’t click with most people.
I had another good friend during my freshman year of college, but things changed after she reconnected with one of her old friends. The dynamic shifted. They became very social and partied every weekend, while I wasn’t really into that lifestyle. I slowly felt left out and convinced myself they were having more fun without me, so I removed myself from the friendship. I regret it now, but it’s in the past.
My current friend has a lot of online friends from his home state that he games with, and they visit each other often. I’m his only nearby friend, so sometimes I feel like he relies on me too much because he constantly asks me for rides. He never offers gas money, which makes me feel a little taken advantage of.
Another thing I struggle with is that whenever I try to give him advice, it usually turns into, “I already know that.” It feels like my input isn’t really wanted. I know he’s autistic, and I genuinely try to be patient and understanding. As for me, I’m only diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, but I’ve wondered if there could also be autism or OCD involved because some of my thought patterns seem to line up.
Sorry if this is all over the place. I originally made a post asking if I was overreacting about something, and most of the replies said I sounded like a horrible friend. Honestly, I understand why they said that, and it broke my heart because I’ve always wanted to fit in.
I’ve spent most of my life feeling like the background friend. I don’t think I’ve ever really found my “people,” and I don’t know if the answer is to distance myself from everyone for a while and focus on myself, or if I actually need to force myself into more social situations through exposure.
I also haven’t really tried making new female friends since my last friend group ended in 2022. My only close friend now is autistic and trans, and I’ve realized I don’t even know how to approach friendships with cis women my age anymore. I don’t know what to talk about, how to act, or how to fit in.
A huge part of it is insecurity. I always feel bigger than other girls my age, and I’m constantly comparing myself. I want to fit in so badly, but the harder I try, the more awkward I become.
I guess I’m just trying to understand whether these are normal insecurities that I’ve let spiral, whether I’m unintentionally sabotaging every friendship I have, or whether there’s something deeper going on that I should probably talk to a professional about.