u/spirit8991

I'm on diy for 7 months on T gel 16.2 mg/g.

2 pumps each day, each pump is around 20.25 mg. Never had a blood test before, recently last month a doc did tested my blood these are the results:

Estradiol 41.7 pg/ml

Testosteron 3.46 ng/ml

Free androgen 30.32 index

They did wrote on it that i can go up to 3 pumps each day. What do y'all think? I'm feeling pretty good, health wise.

Had a hysterectomy in 2024.

Already made a comment under a post but thought i make a post about it.

Where someone in this sub said they wanted to make a deal with archons.

Well,we probably all remember in the little mermaid movie. Ariel makes a deal with Ursula to have legs. But Ursula takes Ariel voice from her as a deal. And Ursula uses Ariel voice to get better out of it herself.

(That makes you wonder why all those elite families are so talented? Coincidence?) The song along with it is called "Poor unfortunate souls" And you see how she creates souls in these little little creatures and keeps them locked in her cave.

Disney was a Freemason and there's a lot of symbolic in their movies in general. Just Google "philipinne de Rothschild" and you'll see especially when she was younger that she looks a lot like Ursula.the vibe even is the same.

Coincidence? Nothing is a coincidence in those circles.

I can't say it enough how that damn movie has everything in it. But you must have eyes to see to really see it what they try to show.

And never make deals with these fcks. You can't win their game when your in it and use you as their tool.

More then 11 years ago I fell for the new age trap and the so called spirit guides.

One evening at that time i was in this between sleep and wake state where you can see but still are very sleepy. But by what I saw I almost jumped to the ceiling, at the foot of my bed stood an old guy in white clothes with an annoyed irritated look on his face..when I really wanted to look again he obviously was gone.

So I thought back then that this was my "spirit guide".

I had multiple astral travels in that time too.

In one I entered this modern white building it was like an all white floor, walls,Ceiling. There was a woman who led me to a room that also wasn't different from the rest of the building, all white. But in the middle of the room stood a table and I had to lay on it.

After a few seconds a guy walked in what was the exact same dude I saw at the end of my bed months before.

He still had this annoyed arrogant look.

He then Stood next to me and did a telepathic move with his hands, and I instantly floated above the table and in a blink of an eye from that on I was in a nightmare I had since I was a kid.

That setting was in a forest where I was running for my life while something was running/hunting me..I ran and ran and I knew I was in there I knew it wasn't real..But I couldn't wake up. It was a very unsettling feeling. What felt like hours passing by I finally woke up back in my bed..

*Now I know they were literally looshing the fck out of me.

Another dream was again the astral again with this dude but here he seemed nicer at least 🤣.

There was a small white church out of wood standing in the middle of nowhere and around this church stood hundreds of black robots. I had to follow this dude through this crowd of robots. The vibe was very nasty. When we finally got too the entrance of the church,10 other of these old men (also again in pure white clothing) already sat there in the front of the church facing towards the other side, sitting on church benches. I had to sit aswell and this "guide" walked towards the others and sat with them.. No clue what happened further but it felt like some crazy ritual.

After all what that happened i finally woke up out of the new age cult and had the most horrifying thoughts by them in my mind.

So from the new age trap i fell in the "religion" trap and especially the Hebrew one. Yahusha, yahusha bullshit. I thought I finally found it, the clue to get out of here.

I listened Hebrewic worship music from sunrise to sunset . The evil thoughts were gone. I read the Hebrewic Bible.

But how much i worshipped the thoughts came creeping in slowly so I prayed more and more.

Until one evening I had an out of body experience again. First I saw myself crashing in a car I still had at that point and out of nowhere I was in a dark brick building. I even knew I was dead, I knew I couldn't wake up like in a dream or astral trip it also didn't work. But I wasn't alone in that place. There were hundreds of people,. completely naked in a line most of them were beyond terrified. At the front stood an entity completely in black like you could call him the reaper it definitely looked like that. He stood in front of an pit where he threw all of these people in that had to come towards him one by one. I was in this line too there were like a few still in front of me untill a younger guy in completely white clothes took.me out of this line towards another spot in this room.

I telepathicly told him i was at the wrong spot and I had no clue what was happening and that I called for yahuah ( 🤦🏻‍♂️). He then smiled at me and wanted to give me a change to be with my kids again.( I obviously took that because I still had no clue about all of this I know now) After that he had some weird metal rod and put it in my mouth it hurted very bad and no clue what the even did or what that was, but after a few seconds later I woke up in my bed again.

( If any of you know what this thing was he used because i still have no clue)

After this again I prayed a lot but the evil thoughts came back more and more. I had no clue anymore. Until I randomly found a website about yaldaboath and EVERYTHING clicked. I stopped immediately with worshipping,praying and threw the prayer books in the trash from that point on.

Everything finally did click. Everything that had happened and what they did to me the entities, the loosh harvesting, rituals etc etc.

From that floor on I saw them fckers in their real light

Have seen draco in the in-between wake and sleeps rate with the same irritated arrogant expression as what the " spirit guide old man" had.

It's all an trick in their book. They make themselves look like someone you could trust easily.

The only real way out is finding oneself, finding our own true power within. Nothing outside ourselves has the best interest. Have saw myself often in other worlds as well having immense powers, so I definitely know it's all true. Hopefully I can help someone with my story finding their true selves as well.

Ps..no I never did drugs nor alcohol. Please call me crazy or down vote I don't care. Because I know it was all true what they have shown me.and what I have seen on travels. I know that's their way of working making people like us look like lunatics so they can stay in the dark these Fcking parasites.

Habe schon mein ganzes Leben richtig dunne haare.

Bin jetzt 7 Monaten auf diy testogel bzw als Selbstzahler.

Und meine Haare werden logischerweise nicht unbedingt besser.

Ich gebrauche schon Minoxidil aber dies scheint es auch eher schlimmer zu machen.

Dazu muss ich sagen das mein Vater auch schon schnell Haare verlor als er älter wurde. Ich gehe auch schon Richtung die 40.

Gibt es da irgendwas was besser helfen kann?

Ich weiss schon von Finasterid. Weiss aber nicht ob mein normale hausartz mir dieses als Rezept gibt.

Ich hab in September mein erstes Gespräch bei Dr hove in Osnabrück soll ich es dann auch nochmal ansprechen?

Über weitere Tips wäre ich dankbar 😁

30+ Ftm hier und fast 7 Monaten auf diy T.

weil meine damals endo unbedingt noch eine Indikation wollte 1 reichte ihm nicht aus und meine Therapeutin die ich da hätte transfeindlich war und mich keiner geben wollte. Was mich alles richtig tief reingeworfen hat.

Ich musste diy anfangen anders war ich jetzt nicht mehr hier. ich könnte nicht mehr meine dysphorie hat mich fast umgebracht.

Habe jetzt bald ein Termin bei ein urologe in Emden Ostfriesland bekommen. Die eigentlich sehr gute Reviews hat als urologe aber weiter von transfreundlich oder feindlich nix zu finden.

Habe erzählt am Telefon das ich diy gel mache und der Assistentin war eigentlich ganz nett hat des bezüglich weiter nix gesagt es nur angenommen.

Ich hoffe nur endlich auf Verständnis weil ich irgendwann leider aus eigener Tasche nicht mehr selbst zahlen kann. Was mich riesen Angst macht natürlich.

Jemand Erfahrung mit urologe in Emden?

Ich weiss von Osnabrück aber das ist mir leider zu weit weg.

I'm in my mid 30s born as a woman.

But never felt right, I didn't understand why I couldn't stand to pee, why I wouldn't get a beard.

Never felt as a girl, I tried to fit in but I just couldn't. I felt like a boy who was crossdressing all his life.

I couldn't look at myself without clothes that way I also barely took care of myself. Did got pregnant what was traumatizing experience in itself.

I felt like Arnold schwarzenegger in the movie junior

Now a over half an year ago I started taking Testosteron.

I couldn't handle it anymore, I was literally so broken keeping my own lie alive that I was a woman.

It was literally taking T Or going the "going to end it all route".

But I was also highly afraid to go the route I'm on now because of the hate people have against Transgenders.

And what can I say I couldn't be happier that i did. Finally it starts to feel right. Especially that I now get facial hair and bodily hair in general and my voice get Deeper. I also finally take care of myself , it's like relearning everything.

Even though i will forever somehow mourn that I never be a cis male, but being trans literally saves lives.

I have found out throughout the years where memories came back to me,that I was in 90% of them male.

This also why I feel the way I always did. I can't handle a female body it feels very wrong for me.

Would also love to have contact with maybe other Transgenders who feel connected in this sub.1

I have posted a few times here in the past but ended to ask something.

I know of a few soldiers lives though. And I'm pretty sure I was in the soviet afghan war. Memories fit perfectly with it. Have had memories in the scorching heat, mountains, the clothing. A memory i was searching for mines with others and some shooting scenarios behind rocks.

And just the whole vibe I have (always had something with that place not in a good way though.)

A longer time ago I found a pinterest site ( after I have had my memories) with a lot of pictures of that war and photos of soldiers. And I have two since then that spoke to me directly like I "know" those people. Especially a guy on one picture looks identical to one out of one of that memories.

I find it fascinating to day the least. I will never know for sure if he's really that dude or someone else.

I sadly dont know/have any names. But it's like my soul knows there's something definitely about it.

So I wanted to ask does this feeling like a itch in your soul is a kind of confirmation?

Do others have had this aswell?

Because I know of many lives which I will never find any pictures of because how random lives they were, so I'm very uncertain if I do have some kind of "proof" of this soldiers live it definitely feels so though

I Have had sleep paralysis multiple times throughout my life.

Do others also have that you literally can hear the "entity" coming nearer like in the next room and walking towards you?

I often have this and it's even more freaky then seeing it eye to eye. It often sounds huge with alot of chains rattling on the floor. Last night I had this exact same thing again, it had been a long time without paralysis but I could wake myself up in time

In 2019 Yuval noah harrari said :

"Humans are now Hackable animals"

How many times we have read when someone did something horrific like murder etc they said after

" The voice of god told me to do this"

"I didn't felt like myself at all"

When you see you can't unsee it.

That "voice of god" is not god cuz there isn't a god outside of us. We are powerful beings ourselves.

These voices are not angels, guides or whatever they are low entities feeding on ouw misery telling us to do bad cuz it's like an all you can eat buffet for them.

I know what I'm talking about because they also did/ tried this with me. Under the guide of spirit guides it began years ago around 2014 I fell for the new age trap. First everything was fine all "positivity" for a few weeks. Until the facade began to fall, and I got suspicious and I told it to leave me the fuck alone. it showed it's real face and the horrible thoughts began. They insisted I do things NOW or else.. etc

I never did because I knew they weren't true. They made my life a living hell because I fighted back. This went on for a long time. Sometimes it was gone for a longer time only to come back stronger for a while after months.

Even till this day they try but i know how to block them immideatly and having no fear.

So you see my point. People who have no clue about any of this world fall for this "voice of god" trick and actually do what they tell with nasty consequences.

I just saw this post and it seems they renewed the first movie, they're also again active on Facebook and it seems maybe a a part two is actually coming true. It's atleast breathing again raised from the death.

Long story

Can an infection in one of your molars really make you feel so bad?

I got antibiotics yesterday due to one of my molars is infected. They did some work on it and I have to go back Tuesday where they most probably going to pull it because the most of it is broken off anyway.

I had to go to work today but had to call in sick because I feel so completely out of it. Holy crap.

I feel like I have ran a marathon for days all my muscles in my whole body hurts, have 0 energy,beyond tired, I can't concentrate, out of breath after a bit of walking.

I did go to the doctor this morning because I still felt so bad and they said it's the infection in your body and that the antibiotics that I got still have to do their job. I really hope the AB is going to fight the good fight soon.