Like the title says. I have a bunch of lipsticks I can't seem to part with that I've been holding onto out of some combination of guilt and hoarding instinct. Some have been with me for over a decade!? None of them seem "off" though, to be clear.

I don't even like to wear them (obviously), but I've really struggled to finally let go. PLEASE help talk some sense into me about this. I feel like it's time to accept that these no longer have a place in my life.

Thank you!

Ahoy!

I've lurked here off and on for a couple years but I feel like I'm finally ready to actually build some good habits around cleaning.

I'm in my 30s now, and I'm definitely much tidier than I used to be, but I have a long way to go still. I grew up with fairly absent (and messy) parents who never helped me build habits around... anything? I guess? Add some trauma and unmedicated ADHD to that, and it's been an uphill battle to put it mildly. Therapy has been a huge help in my finally being able to overcome some of the barriers that kept me from living in a healthier way.

I now share a home that I love with my husband who I adore. He grew up similarly neglected and so neither of us have any real know-how when it comes to cleaning and organizing. My dream is to have a home that we're both proud of and comfortable in. My husband loves entertaining and I want to create an environment that supports that part of our lives without the stress and exhaustion of panic cleaning for days every single time. I want to express gratitude for my home and my belongings by learning to care for them properly and keeping them clean & organized.

My biggest wins lately:

- I've done a load of laundry nearly every day, and put some laundry away every day for the last week. I don't always make it to hamper zero, but I've been consistent.

- I've made my bed every day for the past week. This is a key habit for me, and my husband has mentioned that it really improves his mood to come home to see the bed made.

- I've wiped down the master bathroom sinks, counters, mirrors, and toilet every day for the last week. Thanks to FlyLady for the epiphany that doing this daily makes a huge difference.

My biggest ongoing challenges:

- I would apparently rather live in squalor than sweep or vacuum.

- Clutter Rules Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M.). I struggle to organize things into categories such that everything has a home. Surfaces are always cluttered. What storage exists is underutilized.

- Closets are haphazardly crammed full of stuff

- Dusting is a nearly foreign concept.

- When I can't figure out how to organize something, I tend to abandon the enterprise entirely and become extremely avoidant.

- I am still trying to figure out what tools I need to do some jobs, and what all actually needs doing (did you know that you're supposed to clean your washing machine itself???)

I find that body doubling is super motivating for me, so I'll probably be making more posts of that type as I continue to tackle the unfuckery.

Goals help me a lot so here's my current one: I want to plan a big birthday party for my husband in December, with the option of hosting a couple of guests overnight if need be. This means every room including the patio will need to be guest-ready, not just the common areas.

Thank you for the encouragement and laughs on my last post! I am proud to say that on Tuesday night's drunk play through I did not kill Nancy even once!

I wanted a truly immersive experience this time so I put the game up on our tv. I even picked up a big bucket of fried chicken drumsticks & thighs for the most authentic experience possible. Since this was my Second Chance after dying (and rage quitting) last time, the rules dictate I had to start with a shot right off the bat. I got my husband to play along with me this time and though he was not drinking himself, he was very "helpful" in making sure I followed all of the rules and drank on cue.

I mostly put him to work clicking through areas I didn't feel like navigating again. This was a huge help because I was demurely double fisting amaretto and chicken drumsticks for a good portion of the evening, as one does. I am a lady, after all.

I dunno if it was the castle layout (no) or the liqueur (yep) but I could not find my way around this time. Having to drink at dead ends in this damn castle is diabolical!

When I finally made it into the tower and heard the sawing sounds I was genuinely terrified creeping along the corridors. I really love that at this point in the story there's still no good reason for Nancy to even be involved with what's going on?? She's just breaking into secured areas and stealing from folks because she's a messy bitch who loves drama I guess. What an icon.

Everyone in this castle is shady as hell so I was hyped to end up with Jacques as an ally! But then I get hit over the head and he abandons me?? I was actually gutted because I thought we were gonna be friends! Asshole.

So for the drinking game you have to do a shot when you find a medallion, like the one I found in the locker. When I got knocked out, I thought I must've made a mistake along the way so I made the grave error of reloading, then taking another shot when I saw the same medallion in the locker a few minutes later... 🫠

I was still kinda holding it together until heading out into the snow and finding a third damn medallion 😭. To the surprise of absolutely no one I had to give it up not long after because I was blasted. With my detecting abilities in shambles and my amaretto down my blouse, it was time to put the magnifying glass (and rocks glass) away.

I feel like I must be nearing the end of this game so I'll try to finish tonight! I'll update my journey in the comments here so as not to spam your lovely subreddit with too much of my drunken foolishness.

Wish me luck! 🔎

If anyone would like to body double along with me, please join in! I have been making steady progress lately, but some maintenance tasks have just slipped through the cracks. Time to get to it!

On my list:

- Empty laundry basket

- Empty sink

- Clear dining table

- Clear coffee table

- Clean microwave

- Clean doors, doorknobs, & light switches

+ Stretch Goal: dust & clean bed frame

I've only got just under 3 hours before I've got to head out for the evening. I'd like to make some good progress today.

Let's do this!!!

Edit: list completed! My Stretch Goal will be my first unfucking task tomorrow. I can't overstate how much body doubling boosted my motivation to get this all done. AND I even washed an extra 2 loads of laundry just to flex.

I somehow totally missed out on ND games until now. But stumbling on this delightful community convinced me that I needed to give them a shot. The memes here are just way too good to walk away from!

I decided to follow the sub's collective wisdom and start with TRT. And then I discovered that all the games even have their own drinking games associated with them!? I poured a glass of amaretto and settled in for a cozy evening of drinking and Nancy Drew.

Let me first say that the drinking game for TSt will legit mess you up! I don't know what I expected but amaretto on the rocks was a choice on my part. My detecting skills are absolutely not at their sharpest. I'm grateful I at least had the humility to start as a Junior Detective. There's so many typing noises and Marie Antoinette facts in this mf that I caught a buzz immediately. Kudos to whoever made the drinking game rules because this actually knocked me on my ass.

Second, I have to give credit where credit is due. I am truly spooked crawling around these air vents in a mysterious castle. I didn't think a game with graphics from ye olden times would be able to scare me but my heart rate is UP and I've jumped at least twice already.

Finally, this brings me to Nancy's tragic demise. I thought I was doing pretty good! But with Nancy left in my less than capable, inebriated hands she was unceremoniously crushed to death by an elevator. I didn't know that Nancy could actually die?! I am not ashamed to admit that I scared my unsuspecting husband by shouting "WHAT?!" at my laptop as the screen faded to black. 😭

I was in no way prepared for the utter beatdown I had in store for me this evening. I had to rage quit and eat some snacks (no drumsticks unfortunately). I absolutely underestimated every part of this experience - but now I'm hooked! With a fresh amaretto in hand, I'm ready to try again. There's no way I can allow myself to be bested by a digital castle in Wisconsin from 2001.

*Update: I thought I was going to get right back on that mystery solving horse last night but after posting this I realized I was too drunk and sleepy to continue. I poured my new glass of amaretto & melted ice into a tupperware (...🤨) and crawled into bed. But fear not, I haven't given up! Nancy will ride again at dusk (or whenever I get back from the gym)!

(One of my Q's is an ex. We're long since over, and romantically I'm grateful to have moved on into a stable & healthy relationship.

I remained in contact with my Q for years after our breakup, in an attempt to remain friends. He used to drunkenly call me for relationship advice or to vent about whatever was going on with whoever he was dating at the time. We are no longer in contact.)

I want to warn the next woman against seeing his "potential". At the start, it might feel like a blossoming romance, but he will never see you as anything more than a distraction from his shame. You represent the man he wants to believe he could still mature into - as long as you do all of the work, of course.

He'll have you believe that he's a tortured artist, a sharp wit, a good guy having a tough time. All he wants is to make his tough time your own, give you full custody, and then throw up his hands in bewilderment when you fail to "fix" it.

You were supposed to save him, don't you know? But not by supporting his healthy choices, not by nagging about unkept promises, not by noticing his patterns and trying to help him up out of that pit of despair. You're meant to save him with the power of your love alone.

He is the protagonist, you see. His struggle with himself is romantic and heroic and you, lucky you, you get to play a supporting role in his epic tale! Just stroke his hair and clean up his mess and applaud the bare minimum adult behavior with tears of gratitude welling up in your eyes.

I've moved from the stage into the audience now. And when I take his calls, he tells me about you. He speaks of you in glowing terms, like "I like her alright", and "I think she wants something more serious but I don't think we're really compatible." He gushes about how you've got your life together which is what he needs right now. How flattering that he's putting his chaos into your capable hands.

Soon enough, you will happen upon your leading man drunk and ranting to himself in his underwear at 4am. Or you will find him unconscious in his car with no memory of the night before. Or maybe he'll show up to your home 3 hours late, too inebriated to string 2 sentences together.

And I hope against hope that you wake up sooner than later to the fact that he will not allow himself to be saved. As long as he has you in his life, he will use you as evidence that his drinking "isn't that bad". In his own twisted reality, if things were really *that bad*, he wouldn't have you in his bed. In the end, this is your true value to him. Just like the last woman, and the one before, and the one before.

You deserve so much more than to be used as his fig leaf. I wish I could warn you and the women before you, as earnestly as I wish someone could have warned me.

*Edit: I will say again here that I am no longer in contact with this person or anyone associated with him. No advice is needed. I am reflecting on/venting about the past.

I am pretty far out of the loop on indie makeup and the brands on my want to try list have largely disappeared.

Who is making great makeup basics right now? I'm looking for blush, concealer, face powder, lipliner, lip plumper, brow pencils, lip stains, pressed shadows, etc.

Not looking for loose powder eyeshadow or multi chrome eyeshadow.

Please let me know who you like and who to watch!

I generally swap out the lids on 5ml perfume bottles for the caps with attached wand applicators.

The site I used to get these from in packs of 12 doesn't seem to offer them anymore. I'm hoping someone else has a lead!

I'd much prefer lots of a dozen over buying individually. All I've been able to find is lots of 100, but I'd rather not have a lifetime supply...

I've noticed this phenomenon for me and wonder if you all can relate!

There's a pretty big gap for me between what notes I feel sexy wearing, compared to notes I usually think are sexy to smell on other people.

My sexy notes exclusive to me are: skin musk, narcissus, rose, plum, and metallics.

Sexy notes exclusive to others: woods, green apple, goats milk, incense, and vegetal musk.

Sexy on everybody: leather, campfire, carnation, milk, peach, saffron, red musk, salt.

Curious to hear your lists as well!

I'd love to hear your experiences of perfumes that had you feeling *very skeptical* based on first impressions until you actually put them on!

This post was inspired by the rollercoaster I've been on with BPAL's Pearl Necklace today. (Skin musk dribbling with pear cream, orris root, vanilla bean, and raw honey.)

In the bottle it's so painfully sweet that I just avoided it. Once applied, the sweetness calms down and the lovely skin musk blossoms. In the bottle it's bad dollar store body spray, but when applied it morphs into high-end bath & body products developed exclusively for a boutique hotel. I'm kicking myself for not wearing it all throughout spring.

I have finally decided to sit down and put together a spreadsheet of my perfume collection. I knew this would be a big undertaking but holy moly.

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I'm only 75 perfumes into this project and already I want to tap out! 😮‍💨 At this point I have gained a newfound appreciation for all the spreadsheets I've seen on the swaps here. You are all juggernauts to me. I can't even wrap my head around the stamina it must take to catalogue hundreds of perfumes and samples with scent notes and all.

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If you have any words of encouragement then please, for the love of smells, share them. I'm drowning in columns & rows over here.

Edit: Your comments are seriously restoring my will to live. Thank you! 🙏🏾