u/sureasheckfir3

Just venting.

Our schools have to hold separate tryouts for basketball cheer.

We have a brand new JV coach at the high school who asked me (junior high coach) for feedback on the girls who tried out. This isn’t new - the girls also have to get teacher endorsements and they know the coaches and former coaches talk to each other.

I had some very strong feedback this year about a few athletes who look good on paper but were nothing but drama. Poor attendance, iffy grades, catty demeanors, constant appearance/uniform infractions. The new coach heard as much from not only me, but from the other high school coaches who had two of the girls on football cheer all summer. They were gritting their teeth the whole time. And I was biting my tongue because I gave this feedback to THEM, too. 😅

Lo and behold, this new coach took these girls. And because she only took ten girls total, there were some good, coachable, non-dramatic athletes cut.

I know it’s her choice. I know her decision needs to be respected. I will tow the line and defend her at school.

But boy is she about to have an exciting season. She got starstruck looking at those tryout tumbling skills (which two girls refuse to do outside of their all star gym… despite promising every coach since 6th grade that they’ll get “brave” enough) and filled in the rest with tall backspots and tiny fliers. She could have saved herself so much frustration heeding everyone’s warnings. She gives off vibes like she’s trying to prove herself or make her mark. No one was trying to tell her what to do. She asked us our advice, we gave it, she ignored it.

Just venting. I feel for the good girls who got cut and for the good girls still stuck on the team with the dramatic bunch. I’m pretty sure between attendance, grades, and attitude, everyone believed there’d be a shakeup.

Why are we coaches like this? Sigh.

That’s almost the entire post. A rant. 😅

I am SO frustrated. I work with girls who are young enough that they need to be driven to/from practices and games, so I expect their caretakers/parents are equally involved in letting me know if they will be missing cheerleading. This sideline season, I have some families with awful communication habits. Just yesterday, I heard “oh, so and so won’t be here today, she got grounded” and “so and so’s in Florida this week.” I had to find out from friends of the missing girls.

I know the consequences per my guidelines. I’m just pissed I have to enforce them. What the heck is wrong with people? Send an email. A text. A carrier pigeon.

And don’t come crying later if Ms. So and So is in the far wings in the back row and not in any stunts. We are moving fast during practices and the plans favor the families and athletes who honor their commitment…

Argh.

Hi! Fingers crossed this post doesn’t get removed, lol. I seem to strike out when I have questions like this. 😝

Dumbbell workouts. 35-40 minutes, full body, 2-3x/week. 20-25lbs weights, currently, depending on which body part (25lbs for legs/back, 20lbs for chest… 15lbs for triceps… 12lbs for shoulders and biceps).

The muscles themselves feel like they’re being worked to overload well enough. But I feel “stuck” because my wrists give out, first.

What can I do while waiting for my wrists to catch up, or is that not even a thing? I don’t seem to have a problem keeping my wrists straight. It’s almost more of a grip issue.

I don’t want to add more reps to keep the weight lighter, if I can avoid it. Keeping the workouts short is motivating me to be consistent. 🙈

TIA!!

Looking for a reality check!

It appears, in my local radius of, say, the 12 Middle School/Jr. High Sideline teams I see regularly at ball games and camp, that this age group has lost the plot a bit when it comes to stunting. The majority of the schools in my area in these grades are NOT going to competitions. This is sideline only.

I’m just curious if other areas are facing the same.

There are several stunts and variations on stunts that are under-utilized in the race to get to the most “advanced” stunts.

I’m talking coaches who feel more comfortable putting sloppy ball backs in a game than a line of clean shoulder stands. I’m talking girls who are terrified to even do shoulder stands!

Girls who won’t cradle out of an extension because they never learned anything but a bump down in a prep.

No leap frogs, teddy bears, up and overs.

Yanno, the level one stuff that is visually fun and takes a playful, willing, physical nature to get in there and mess around and figure it out.

In my area, at least, coaches are doing their teams a disservice by skipping all that. They’d rather get the fliers up as high as possible as fast as possible and appear to be “advanced.”

Just a rant and observation. Wondered if other areas have noticed the same.

I was SO excited to get this Discovery Collection that I pretty much ripped it from the UPS driver’s hands (with a big thank you, of course).

Overall: they’re nice, and distinct, and pretty.

I wanted the set for the Carrot Blossom, specifically. It’s definitely more blossom than carrot. It’s missing that gingery-dirt smell that I associate with pulling carrots up from the ground and taking a big bite. Smells good. Delicate, floral, a little like hand soap. Would not buy a larger bottle, sad it doesn’t smell like carrots. 6/10.

Scarlet Beetroot. DOES have an earthy/dirt undertone but very sugary on top. If beets were a dessert, if you will. This one smells kind of generic in a gourmandy kind of way, but not like marshmallows. Would not buy a larger bottle, but guessing this will be the one that people say, “oh you smell nice, what is that?” when I hug them. 6/10.

Velvety Butternut. This one reminds me A LOT of Ginger Buscuit (and honestly Spiced Apricot), with less heat and more green to it. Sweet but not desserty. It’s my teen daughters’ favorite. The longer it’s on my skin, the more soapy it smells. Would buy the size up from the tiny sample as long as it’s not sold as a duo with Wood Sage and Sea Salt (I freaking hate that one and it’s seriously the most ubiquitous!). 7/10.

So, I’m not blown away but I have Jo Malone at the highest standard because they are among my tippy top favorite makers. If you aren’t expecting spot-on raw veggie scents, you will probably be delighted.

Just some thoughts. The nature of a hot take means some will disagree. Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one. What are your uniform hot takes?

- The one-shoulder uniform top (full sleeve on one arm, no sleeve or a “shoulder strap sleeve” on the other arm) looks tacky.

- White uniforms look good on 25% of female athletes.

- If you have the ability to use a plaid/tartan skirt in your uniform and you aren’t, what are you even doing with your life?

- Bling (rhinestones) on the sideline tooks tacky or like dance team uniforms.

- Black cheer shoes with white socks gives Beavis & Butthead.

- The collegiate style cheer bow is superior.

- True red lipstick does not look good with every uniform color. But dark purple or maroon lipsticks makes girls look vampy or goth.

I’m in my early 40s. I have two daughters, both of whom are lucky in the social department. They have lots of good friends, are big joiners at school, and I often round things out by volunteering hours and hours each week in our community with their sports, extra-curriculars, etc. I also genuinely like many of their friends.

The problem is that most of the other moms I end up talking to or volunteering with… aren’t on the same page as me. Sometimes it’s a political thing and I just avoid any heavy discussions with them. Sometimes it’s a church thing (we’re not religious but live in a small town in a red state where there is a church on every corner). Sometimes the mom is just a fall-down lush, or her husband gives me the creeps, or I’ve been burnt by their flakiness or weirdness in the past.

I’m always encouraging my girls to cast a wide social net. I’m also always telling them to be genuine and sincere. I find myself, in my 40s, struggling to do either as I just really do not enjoy most of the moms I come in contact with.

Increasingly, IDGAF about whether the Block Party houses think I’m stuck up, or the church moms think I’m anti-god.

But I worry I’m just up my own perimenopausal ass and I need to give grace if I don’t want to end up lonely for mom commraderie.

How important, and sustainable, have your Mom Friendships been as your kids get older, and even after they move out?

Is it worth it to dig deeper and let people see the real me and “find my tribe?” Or does everyone just drift apart, anyway?

FWIW, I’m happily married to a confirmed loner. He’s happiest when he’s NOT being social in our community, though he has never held me, or our daughters, back from going out and being our friendly selves.

TIA!

I don’t want to smell like carrot cake. Or the frosting that goes on top of carrot cake.

I have Jo Malone’s Ginger Biscuit and love it in winter.

I’m looking for something more carrot-y for warm weather.

Any leads? 🥕

Hi Losers! 💙

After hitting perimenopause and complicating things with a years-long love affair with my nightly wine, I realized that alcohol no longer gave me the same giddy relief it provided before. I have been happily alcohol-free for two months and have no plans of going back. I’m tired of bad sleep and exhausted by the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out how to “make alcohol work in my calorie budget.”

In those two months, I have basically given myself a lot of lenience with regards to other calories BECAUSE I’m not drinking. Sweets and fast food, namely.

And while I understand CICO and that I can have those things and still lose weight, I definitely can’t have them in the quantity and frequency I have been.

But, I AM ready to get back to working on my fitness goals. And losing a significant amount of weight (40lbs) is part of that.

What advice, anecdotes, and success stories do you have for being gentle and building on small changes?

As someone who has been afraid to even step on a scale for 5 months… I’m actually pretty stressed right now. Cutting out alcohol has been easy. Keeping weight off has always been a struggle. I’m loving life, but I’m irritated with myself right now.

Thank you. 💙

Question for other coaches and athletes about progressions and drills to go from preps to extensions - I have seen several videos online now where the bases and back spot are kneeling, like on their knees, to practice pressing their flyer up to an extension.

What are the pros/cons of this drill? Has anyone used it successfully?

I’ve never seen the drill used for local teams, so I’m curious.

Welcoming any feedback.

I am seeing SO many high Vs where the athletes’ wrists are bent, either backwards or downwards. I’m seeing these on everything from peewee cheer pages to college cheer pages. Is this okay now? I coach my girls on straight wrists and have held up many a practice until they all show me they can get it right. Am I just a stickler in my old age, is it regionally acceptable, of do we just have more coaches running around who don’t know better/don’t care?

ETA - when I say “I’m seeing” I mean on posts where girls are feautured holding a high V and media shots. Like, someone took a picture of a girl posing for the camera and thought, “yep! Looks good!” I’m not talking about random candid social media posts.

My husband and I got pints at dinner tonight. He had a regular Guinness and I had a Guinness 0.

We both did a taste test, me with just one small sip of his as I’m not drinking right now.

They were *nearly* identical. My 0 was a smidge “flatter” than his, and his had a smidge of bite that mine lacked. Otherwise, damn.

Excellent job, Guinness. 💪🥇

Fun post for a Sunday. My daughters and I love indulging in cheer-related media. However, we always laugh about some of the weird stereotypes that are portrayed, or stuff that only a cheerleader would know is “off.”

For instance, cheerleaders wearing their uniforms to school.

Or a high school competition team taking the “championship” with stunts no more advanced than a prep.

In Nationals in the first “Bring It On,” there are teams whose uniforms consist of knit sweaters and there are teams who are literally just wearing solid colored sports bras with no school name or mascot.

What are some others?

I just need to vent here so I don’t start ranting in front of my daughters. For the record, I don’t coach my own daughters. But I’m very much in the loop as I coach the grade just below them and my plans are shaped by what is coming next. This is upper Junior High school/sideline cheer.

Our grade-level teams are working together to prep for UCA Camp right now. Stunts are going… meh. In one grade, we have more personality than work ethic, and of three fliers, we don’t have any who consistently function as needed beyond a prep. Every single extension is a crapshoot. It’s aggravating beyond belief, especially for the girls on the ground who want to advance.

In the younger grade, we have zero personality (and I mean zilch - I don’t think I’ve seen any of them actually smile while cheering and they are church quiet) but we have four girls who are BFFs and who practice stunting all the time together at home with their older sisters, who happen to be on Varsity at the high school. And one of the moms is also a coach at the high school. And those girls, when they stunt, are awesome. They look annoyed and you can’t hear them, but they look solid.

Up till this point, we have constantly discussed, for years, how we as coaches need to make sure certain girls don’t fall into the trap of “I only stunt with this particular group.” But here we are, two weeks in, and this group *only* stunts together, just like they did all winter, and what’s worse, the coaches keep throwing harder skills at them and comparing the other 20 girls to them.

Do the other girls need to step it up? Of course they do. But I’m annoyed this one group who gets coaching and practice in beyond school-sanctioned practices is used as the basis for comparison.

I’m also annoyed there’s zero team bonding taking place to help break through some of the personalities. I’m annoyed that a few of the girls have point blank told the others they don’t want to be there and their moms are making them cheer. I’m annoyed the older grade can’t pull together at least ONE group of four girls who can do more than a extension with a braced lib so far after cheering together for THREE YEARS. I’m annoyed I live in a tiny town and I can see these younger girls being fast tracked to Varsity in a few years while the talented and hardworking bases and backspot in the older grade have no chance to really shine until they get their hands on a flier who gives more than “meh.”

I’m just annoyed. Annoyed, I tell ya. Phew.

I might delete later. I feel a little better now and none of this will matter after Camp because we’ll be back to cheering separately, We aren’t curing cancer over here. Etc. etc. etc.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to let off steam with me, or feel free to tell me shut up, lol.

I’m looking for historical MF spicy romances where the female lead has muscles and the male lead is attracted to them. TIA!

Looking for contagious, catchy disco/funk/groovy beat. Would love to hear songs that make me say “Oh man, I forgot all about this one!”

Jive talkin’ diddies and riffs.

I realize that’s pretty subjective, but hit me with your best shot!

ETA Thank you all so much! I’m creating a mega playlist for myself.

I’m looking for more ideas. Ages 11-18. Sideline, not All Star (so “hit zero” and the like is not applicable).

We’ve done pura vida bracelets, jellycats, shoe charms/bands, custom bows, keychains, backpack care kits, and more water bottles than anyone would care to admit.

Don’t want memorabilia - these are welcome goodies, not end of season gifts.

Looking for whatever is trendy this season OR unique! Spam me, please!

Other coaches (or seasoned parents) - talk to me about All American at UCA Camp. I’m looking for anecdotal feedback rather than the corporate schill.

I *feel* like it’s a bit of a money grab by Varsity (shock) but since our Junior High doesn’t go to comps, it’d be a fun way to offer some girls a chance to do a capstone event, like a parade, etc.

I have some girls who would nail the cheers and dance, and who are very spirited/sharp. But their jumps, while properly techniqued, leave a lot to be desired for height.

Do we think this is a blocker/should they avoid trying out?

Side note, anyone seen the full dance, yet? 🕵🏼‍♀️