u/teal_diamond

Just like the title states, I’m looking for recommendations on what neighborhood to move to & buy a home! I’m relocating to Minneapolis from somewhere very far away and I honestly have no idea where to even begin my search.

I’m late 30’s with a young child and walkability isn’t all that important to me since I’ll have a car. Mainly what I’d like is something quiet and safe, and more of a residential than urban feel. I have a budget of about $500,000 so affordability definitely factors in here as well. Thank you

I have so many questions about flares. I’ve been doing aerial for coming up on 2 years now and flares are still a skill I really struggle with. Mainly, I’m confused on the pathway, and feel maybe I just haven’t received the cue that will make it make sense to me. I don’t even know what muscles I should think about engaging at what time.

When I watch videos of myself, my knees are often bent and my flares never seem to look the same twice. When I watch others, I notice subtle differences in execution which makes it harder for me to understand what I should be focusing on.

I recently started straps and I do notice that vs sling, my flares are looking much better on straps because I think having my arms in the overhead position is helping me with stability.

For those who have solid flares:

How much of a side crunch is involved?

Should I focus primarily on the leading leg, or both legs equally?

Do I circle my legs before the straddle?

How long did it take to get your flares solid?

How often did you practice them?

What drills helped the most?

What muscles are you specifically thinking about recruiting?

Was there a particular cue or coaching tip that made them click?

Which direction do you spin? I spin right but I’m wondering if switching to a left spin would be helpful as I’m right leg dominant.

I’ve heard of the figure 8 pathway on the floor suggestion before but this hasn’t been helpful in understanding for me. And also, before anyone suggests asking my teacher, I have. We work on flares maybe once every 6 weeks in class and the only advice we get is to practice the floor exercise and kick the leading leg diagonally and straighten our legs.
Any flare wisdom you have is appreciated ❤️

My husband (39M) and I (37F) are splitting up. This has been a decision several years in the making. We have tried really hard to keep trying, to make it work but we’ve decided it’s best to go our separate ways. I’m anxious to think about being on my own. We’ve been together since I was 20 so I’ve never adulted by myself. I can’t even imagine what it’s like. I just want to hear some positive stories from those who have made the hard decision to split and saw improvement in their life afterwards. Maybe success at being alone or dating again, any of it. I just need something positive to read today. Thanks.

I had an affair last summer and it ended badly. I got caught, AP confessed to his wife on his own, we all spoke, etc. If anyone wants the full backstory, it’s in a previous post called The Affair That Changed Me.

Anyway, after DDay, my husband and I spent months trying to work through the fallout. Lots of hard conversations, tears, fights, me owning what I did and being completely honest about it. I answered any questions he had, confessed things I didn’t want to confess, listened to his anger, endured what many would consider emotional abuse, and accepted that I had caused enormous damage.

Eight months after dday when I had worked hard at healing and putting things behind me, come to find out husband was feeling vengeful and sent to AP’s workplace, all of our messages from the affair and times and dates when AP left work on company hours to meet me. Sent these to his wife as well. So to put it mildly, he blew up AP’s life in a completely unnecessary way when I thought we had agreed to leave them alone after we all spoke shortly after DDay. This all really upset me but I tried to be understanding of his pain but this pushed us closer to deciding to possibly separate.

Switching gears a little here, because, plot twist, last night I found inappropriate messages on husband’s phone with a female friend that I’ve always suspected he had a thing for, from before my affair had even started.

One thing that had always bothered me, was this mutual female friend of ours. For years I had a gut feeling there was something there. I knew he was attracted to her and vice versa. She would message him privately, ask him to go out on his boat alone, discuss intimate details of her own relationships, and generally behave in ways that made me uncomfortable. Husband had commented several times to me on how if he was single, he would probably date her.

So, shortly before my affair started, about a month and a half prior, he reached out to this mutual friend. He disclosed private details about our marriage and sex life, including a prior emotional connection I had. Then he asked if she wanted to meet up and “have some fun.” Told her she’s always been “his cup of tea”. Said he remembered her telling him she loved having lots of good sex and why does she think he messaged her 😉. Surprisingly, she declined his advances. Two days later he asked again if she was sure she’s not up for some side fun with him, and she politely let him know she just started seeing someone.

What bothers me isn’t even that he did it. Honestly, after everything I’ve done, I can understand the impulse more than most people probably could. What bothers me is that for months after DDay, while demanding complete honesty from me, he repeatedly denied having ever had any situation, feelings, flirtation, opportunity, or inappropriate interaction of his own. I even specifically asked about this particular woman more than once. Every time, the answer was no.
All summer she would watch my IG stories and like pictures with only him in it but never of him and I. Whenever I brought this up, I was told I was imagining things.

Now that I’ve found the messages, the response from my husband isn’t even an apology. It’s that what I did was worse, so apparently this doesn’t matter.
And he’s right that what I did was worse. He also said he thinks it’s funny, and that’s he’s justified because he needed someone outside our marriage to talk to. I think that’s rich because he’s always told me never talk about our marriage to any one of the opposite sex, if you need a friend talk to a woman. Yet the person he chose to talk about our marriage to was a woman and he used that opportunity to jump right to, btw are you interested in having sex with me?

Is it unreasonable to feel angry that I’ve spent months confessing my own sins and being criticized for what an awful person I am, while finding out that the person demanding total honesty from me was keeping secrets too?

I’m not asking whether my affair was justified. I know it wasnt. I’m asking whether anyone else has experienced the strange feeling of discovering that the moral high ground you’ve been staring at for months wasn’t quite as high as you thought it was.

I’m moving to Minneapolis in a few months and wondering if anyone can give recommendations on aerial/circus studios in Minneapolis. I am focusing on sling and dance trapeze so I’m looking for a studio that offers classes consistently in both of these apparatuses.

I’m coming from a place with a strong circus community and hoping to find something similar. Thanks!

I felt like sharing a positive story about our family’s experience with ABA therapy for our 4 year old daughter. I’d like to add the disclaimer that she is diagnosed at level 1, so we don’t face some of the more intense difficulties that many other parents and children out there deal with. She is verbal and has an amazing vocabulary now even though she didn’t speak until 2 1/2 years old.

We started ABA therapy back in September, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week and it was approved through our insurance company. At the time, her behaviors were so difficult to manage that even though I was a stay at home parent to her since birth, my husband was barely able to work from the time she turned 1 until she started therapy at 3 and a half because it took two people to get through the day with her. We were both nearly suicidal at that point.

We’re talking tantrums starting upon wakening until bedtime, no meal times without tears, no “safe” foods, unable to play by herself for even 5 minutes, physically harmful to our cats, issues with potty training, sensitivity to temperatures, sounds, light, and unable to socialize with other children at all, self harming behaviors like slamming her head into things, hurting us by biting, scratching, hitting and hair pulling, etc. we couldn’t take her to the store, or to any public setting because we’d end up having to leave right away due to a public meltdown. We live far away from family so we have no family support except during trips home.

We’ve seen huge breakthroughs since starting therapy, especially in the last few months. Food is still an issue, lots of protest at times and all food still has to be sizzling hot. But… we have seen so much improvement here. She is eating a large variety of foods now that we never thought possible, and she will agree to at least lick most new foods. We can get through many many meals now without a meltdown or tears or refusal to eat. They do food trials with her every single day and I contribute the positive changes we’ve seen to this. She gets excited to discover new foods now.

She’s made a few friends at therapy and they’ve both even learned to speak directly to each other and through one friend she has learned how to free play and use her imagination. She is capable of entertaining herself with her toys for at least 20 minutes sometimes even up to half an hour, and she is no longer just lining up the toys. She makes up little story lines.

Through parent training we have learned the tools to help manage difficult behaviors. Our entire house is calmer and we’re more confident at knowing how to respond when she’s struggling. She knows how to use her words to communicate what she needs now, sometimes she needs a reminder and coaching for this but the skill is now there. Her sensitivities have decreased a little with support from her RBT. We are able to go out in public and take her to the store, to church, etc. and for the most part, it now goes well.

There’s still a lot to work on and I know not everyone has the same experience with ABA but I wanted to share that sometimes positive changes can occur. She’ll be in therapy full time until she starts school in another year where she’ll get an IEP (we’re already working with the school). I’m just grateful she was able to get help early and I wish this was a program more accessible to everyone who needs it.

Wondering if I’m in over my head - I just signed up for a 5 week straps course at my studio and I’m so nervous. Ive heard it’s hard, really hard. There were prerequisites to sign up: 3 consecutive in air inversions, 3 hanging leg lifts, and 3 pull-ups. I meet that criteria and then some but I can’t help feeling like I’m going to get my butt handed to me, compared to some of the people I’ve heard also signed up for the class (some at the performing level).

My apparatuses are sling and silks, and I’m in the intermediate class level for sling and primary for silks. I’ve only been doing aerial for a year and a half and I’m approaching 40 in a few years. I’m just wondering if any who have taken a few straps classes can provide feedback as to what was covered and if you need to be basically amazing already to even attempt.