u/that_gworl

I’m so tired of taking down these braids. My arms hurt. I’m getting impatient so I can literally hear the breakage. I’m over it chile. I wish more people would offer a takedown service but these new stylists nowadays want your first born just for a wash & blow dry. What would you reasonably pay for somebody to take down your knotless, deep condition & blow dry in one sitting so you don’t have to do it yourself?

My brother has ASD level 1. He wasn’t an extremely sociable kid growing up but in his elementary and middle school years, he was at least able to hold a conversation. I didn’t even mind that they were one sided and usually about his interests. I was just glad that he talked to me.

My parents moved to a rural suburb from our large city 4 years ago. Around the same time I moved across the country for a job opportunity and my sister moved out of the house. He’s the youngest and the only one who didn’t go to high school in the city. I think the slow pace and small population made his social skills regress.

Now he’s about to graduate high school. He just went to prom. He’s on his way to college. And I can’t tell you the last time we had a conversation where he didn’t just stare and mumble until I left him alone. I flew in to celebrate his graduation and had the same experience just now asking him about how prom went. He didn’t want to share any details. Stared at me in silence for some questions and mumbled answers to others. I try not to give up on talking to him but it feels like he wants me to. My parents already have given up. They don’t even prompt him much anymore unless they’re telling him to do something. How can I help him express himself more and be more open to socializing? Or should I just let him be? What’s the proper way to handle this while being respectful of how differently he processes stimulus like this?

I’m not a parent but I’m an eldest sister. Kinda like a third parent. My brother has ASD level 1. He wasn’t an extremely sociable kid growing up but in his elementary and middle school years, he was at least able to hold a conversation. I didn’t even mind that they were one sided and usually about his interests. I was just glad that he talked to me.

My parents moved to a rural suburb from our large city 4 years ago. Around the same time I moved across the country for a job opportunity and my sister moved out of the house. He’s the youngest and the only one who didn’t go to high school in the city. I think the slow pace and small population made his social skills regress.

Now he’s about to graduate high school. He just went to prom. He’s on his way to college. And I can’t tell you the last time we had a conversation where he didn’t just stare and mumble until I left him alone. I flew in to celebrate his graduation and had the same experience just now asking him about how prom went. He didn’t want to share any details. Stared at me in silence for some questions and mumbled answers to others. I try not to give up on talking to him but it feels like he wants me to. My parents already have given up. They don’t even prompt him much anymore unless they’re telling him to do something. How can I help him express himself more and be more open to socializing? Or should I just let him be? What’s the proper way to handle this while being respectful of how differently he processes stimulus like this?

I always look like I have it together. I take good care of my appearance. On the surface, it looks like I have everything I want. I look good, I travel, I smile real big. It’s funny seeing people be candid about girls on social media making them feel behind or insecure. Because I’m on both sides of that equation.

The reality is I feel so unsupported. My boyfriend, though he tries, is not great with words so my emotions often feel dismissed. My family thinks I’m the “girl who gets everything she wants on her own” so they never ask if I’m okay. Only for help with money. But I’m drowning financially. No amount of therapy compensates for lack. I just have to keep pushing and pushing and self soothing along the way. I’m very tired. I feel empty behind the eyes bc all I do is pretend I’m good when almost everyday I’m not sure that I am.

I pray every night thanking God for the blessings that I do have bc it could always be worse. But I can’t wait for it to be better.

I have dense, high porosity, type 4 hair with fine, breakage prone strands. I shampoo. deep condition & blow dry once per week. I dust my ends at home every few months and do a major trim once a year. It’s growing. Currently armpit length.

My issue is in between washes my hair feels so dry. It’s knotted at the roots by day 3-4 post wash day. I spray with water and add leave in at least twice between washes. It’ll feel moisturized and soft that day but then the next day it’s dry and unmanageable again. How can I maintain soft, juicy, moisturized hair throughout the week?

My friends, family and my boyfriend always give me props for my strength. For my ability to handle everything life throws at me. For being able to pivot whenever necessary. They don’t realize how isolating it is.

Whenever I’m going through something it feels like they’re not even listening. They hit me with “you’ll figure it out. You always do.” What if I don’t? I feel like they don’t even know what to say to me. The pep talks feel half assed. I vent to my boyfriend and get the same reaction. I have to remind him to reassure me and tell me it’s going to be okay because I have him there with me. He’ll say “I thought that was a given. You never ask for help anyway.”

I already don’t share a lot because I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t cry in front of people because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. I grit my teeth and white knuckle my way through my worst days. I plan and plan and list and list and check and check by myself until shit makes sense. And the moment I finally share I’m struggling and need some help emotionally, it’s like I’m resented for it.

It sucks. It makes me want to withdraw into myself and just stfu forever.

I don’t even know the damn lyrics but I remember every adlib. Faith Evans put her feet up to the ankles into that song. It’s a 30 year old record but I still make the same stank face I made when I first heard it as a kid. What’s other songs come to mind where the adlibs are the most memorable part?

Serena would be an excellent faithful. She has a good nose for sniffing out bullshit. Liv too. She’d probably toss too many accusations around and create chaos that ends up protecting the traitors but I’d love the drama anyway lol. Nic would be a great Traitor. He’s personable enough to go unsuspected and he’s very good at not answering questions directly. What do y’all think?

How do I negotiate financial incentives at work?

I pivoted from 8 years nonprofit work to healthcare administration in 2024. It was a pretty aggressive pivot bc I moved from New York to a MCOL city. I went from a project lead making 6 figures to entry level because I had zero healthcare experience.

I have a ton of transferable skills that make me a little overqualified for my job even without experience. I eclipsed the rest of my team in performance in my first year. It’s year two and I’m highly visible in my department because my manager hates presenting so she taps me to share updates or conduct demonstrations at the monthly dept meetings. I was also kinda voluntold to be a professional development committee leader.

I want to know how you’d approach talking to your manager about getting paid more for the extra effort? I’m willing to volunteer for a year, but once I show meaningful impact I feel like it’s safe to ask for a raise or a bonus. What would you say to your manager if you were in my situation?

I pivoted from 8 years nonprofit work to healthcare administration in 2024. It was a pretty aggressive pivot bc I moved from New York to a MCOL city. I went from a project lead to entry level because I had zero healthcare experience. Naturally, I took a huge pay cut.

However, I have a ton of transferable skills that make me a little overqualified for my job even without experience. I eclipsed the rest of my team in performance in my first year. It’s year two and I’m highly visible in my department because my manager hates presenting so she taps me to share updates or conduct demonstrations at the monthly dept meetings. I was also kinda voluntold to be a professional development committee leader.

I want to know how you’d approach talking to your manager about getting paid more for the extra effort? I’m willing to volunteer for a year, but once I show meaningful impact I feel like it’s safe to ask for a raise or a bonus. What would you say to your manager if you were in my situation?