u/thecrazycrosser

I’m suspecting and awaiting my formal assessment.
I hear voices and think I do switch but have amnesia so it’s hard to track.
Im starting to explore the voices and coping strategies with my psychologist to prevent them taking over.
I’ve tried journalling and will have a lot of thoughts in my head or wanting to write down what the voices are saying to process it but by the time I pick up the pen, I’m blocked and my head goes empty of everything.
Sometimes I freeze due to conflicting demands in my head (e.g 1 of my voices forces compulsive exercise, another is incredibly paranoid. If they’re both active I get stuck at the door between going for a run and being afraid to leave). I’ve found talking out loud sometimes help me leave the door and unfreeze.

This morning I tried journaling in the form of recording a voice memo and just talked out loud stream of consciousness. I felt like a weight had lifted afterwards and my mind was so much clearer. I’m thinking of trying to make this a regular habit and see if I notice changes or switches or thought differences.

Has anyone else tried this form of processing? Did you find it helpful? Have you got any other advice for processing when you are blocked from physically writing in a notebook?

I’m not diagnosed but questioning and waiting an assessment.
Things were going okay I think. Then I went to my art group on Monday and I had to sit next to a man and I thought it would be ok, he was nice, but I was anxious and he touched my arm.
Now I’m still anxious. My head hurts and I just want to stay home with my teddies.
I don’t know how to not be anxious.
I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow and I don’t know what to tell her. I want to take my teddy with me but maybe she won’t understand.

I am not diagnosed but suspecting. I’ve been referred for long term therapy with a specialist in complex trauma and dissociation, they are also referring me for a dissociation assessment with a specialist consultant in dissociation. NHS waiting times so don’t know how long they may be. But I do see a psychologist every 2 weeks currently.

I hear voices and one of the most problematic ones is very critical and encourages SH and SI. Previously I have tried to ignore but my current therapist has said this can make them worse and get louder so to maybe try arguing with them. I’ve never tried to communicate back with them. When they get too loud, they eventually take over, in January this takeover lasted a couple months.

I’ve been off work sick for a year due to a dissociative breakdown and tried to return in January but the voices got bad at work and I couldn’t cope and had another breakdown. I’m now more stable and hoping to return back to work in the next month or so but don’t really know what to do if the voices get bad again when I go back. Has anyone got any advice? When I was in work previous I was able to go into “work mode”, I was confident, excelling at my job, got on well with everyone. I’ve struggled to get back into that.

TLDR: have been off work for a year, tried to go back in January but voices got very loud encouraging SI, looking to return again and want advice on managing the voices especially when in work.

I’ve had another depressive crash. My depression lasts 3-4 months with a 2-3 gap in between. And they usually always result in me falling back into suicidal thoughts and attempts. And I’m there again. I’m not on meds at the moment (trialled Aripiprazole which I think triggered this latest crash). My psych has suggested I trial duloxetine and later add quetiapine to stabilise.
But I’m so suicidal I don’t see myself staying around long enough to trial them. I told my crisis team my plan, I told my psychiatrist my plan when I spoke with him yesterday, neither of which could give me any advice.
There’s still a part of me that doesn’t want to do it, but I just can’t keep going through any of these episodes and I’m feeling so hopeless that this will ever change.

Hello. I’ve had dissociative symptoms for quite a long time, one of which is freeze states. They usually happen at home randomly, I’ll get stuck for up to an hour ish. I think I’m mostly aware when they’re happening (not always), but can’t move my body. I’ll tell myself to move but can’t. Up until now, they’ve not caused distress, they’re just really annoying and inconvenient especially the longer ones.

However today was different, I had my first one out in public. I had a tricky and high anxiety appointment and afterwards, I got the bus into town. Once I got off the bus I froze. I couldn’t move. I was stood on the pavement beside the bus stop. It got to 10-15 minutes and I was able to message my psychologist to see if they were free to call, after 30 minutes I started speaking to her on the phone. I was panicking. I couldn’t move my legs, couldn’t feel my body. I didn’t know where I was (but really I did, at least I’ve been there before so I should have known where I was). I couldn’t remember the bus journey. She did a grounding exercise with me and after 15-20 minutes I was able to start walking a bit, after 25-30 minutes I was reoriented and knew where I was. It was the scariest experience of dissociation I’ve ever had. Being so vulnerable and having no control on a busy street.

Has anyone else experienced this? Has anyone got any advice? Grounding exercises are hard enough when you’re just a bit zoned out. But when you’re frozen I don’t know how to help myself.

I was doing so well honestly the best I’ve ever been and then my psychiatrist put me on a new med which has plummeted my mood. Started to have SI again, super anxious, it was supposed to keep me stable not do this. I know he did this deliberately. He’s one of them and just wanted to do this to test me, im so afraid they’re going to try and hurt me again.
Im seeing my psychologist tomorrow and she knows I stopped the meds and about the SI (I messaged her) but I don’t know if I can trust her either since they work together. Maybe she’s involved too. I don’t know what to do

I’ve had a few incidents of SA ages 7 and 15, and harassment aged 19. I’ve never been in a relationship due to an extreme fear of physical closeness/intimacy and constantly feeling unsafe.
I’m now 28, have never had trauma therapy despite being under MH services from ages 14-21 and then back under services aged 27 to present. But it affects other relationships too. Feeling uncomfortable with family or friends hugging me or friendly gestures like hand on shoulder/knee.
I’ve not yet been for a smear test because even the thought of walking in that room fills me with fear and panic. I’d rather die of an illness than have simple medical procedures like colonoscopy/smear tests. Purely due to the fear.
I’ve sort of accepted this will always be my life, I don’t see a way through this immense fear.

Has anyone else experienced this? Have they got through it?

My last depressive episode was Jan-mid March with attempts and an admission to a crisis house. Followed by 6 weeks of hypomania. I warned them that I’d have another depressive episode in 2/3 months (that’s my pattern).
Psychiatrist started me on Abilify (previously unmedicated, still no official diagnosis). Caused a mixed episode, agitation, restless, mood dropped, SH urges. Advised by psychologist I could stop the meds and they’ll push my psychiatry appointment forward to next week.
Now I’ve slipped into another depressive episode. 2 months since the last ended. SH again, SI back.
I feel like we’ve made no progress. I’m still not on a formal therapy (awaiting assessment), not on meds now, nothings changed and I’m back again in this pit. I’m mad that nothing more has been done to prevent this.