u/theeternalfreedom12

When I see anyone talk about manifestation, I see they claim to get something or achieve their desires by doing some techniques. There are thousands of posts in this community as to how to manifest doing the perfect technique or about success stories. If you're looking for another technique, then this post is not for you.

This is not a manifestation success story. This is a manifestation failure story for those who are struggling and want peace from this exhaustion.

You are probably asked to persist without thinking negatively, without paying attention to your doubts, fears, or negative circumstances. So, you are persisting, keeping your hopes high. Trying to understand what you are doing wrong.

You have seen that manifestation does work and you are the living example, but when it comes to your deepest desires, it just doesn't manifest.

Meanwhile, this entire process becomes a journey of exhaustion. You began this journey because you wanted to make your life better, feel happier and more fulfilled. But doing technique after technique, you are mentally exhausted, physically tired, and emotionally drained, but you are scared of accepting that as well because you fear that if you think negatively, you will manifest the negative.

So, you are high vibing, but feeling empty inside. Waiting tiredly, but trying hard to live in the end.

Now, what if I tell you that you don't need to do all that to get what you want? What if I tell you your desires are manifesting all the time even if you don't do any techniques?

What if I tell you, you don't need to be working on your resistances, healing, mindset, self-concept, or anything to get your desires fulfilled?

Now why don't you need to do all these things? Because you are not essentially who you think yourself to be.

You might have heard that you are not the mind and body; you are the consciousness. But what is that exactly? And how would knowing that you are consciousness help you get your desires?

Let's first answer the first question. If you search in Google, the AI response says, "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It is your inner life and your personal experience of the world."

I find this definition quite appropriate. Consciousness is the awareness with which you are aware, with which you KNOW or ARE AWARE of anything and everything.

Now, if you find the pun here, "with which you are aware," that means it must be something that "you" are not?

Now, if I ask you, who you are? What would you say? Don't answer me from any theory, just answer me from your experience.

There is a famous quote, "I may forget who I am, where I am, what I am, but I cannot forget that I Am." I AM is your experience, right? You might be confused about who you truly are, but you are sure that YOU ARE, right?

Stay with me. I'll guide you deeper into a practical tool.

Now to answer the second question, knowing that you are consciousness will NOT help you unless you actually experience it. Only theoretical knowledge is not helpful at all. You can say "oh, now I know that I am consciousness/awareness and that means I am all that is, one with the source, one with my desires, so I can have it all and now I decide that I have it all." But nothing will practically shift, not even your mental state (except a temporary high, then eventual frustration), unless you see, feel and experience yourself as ALL THAT IS.

So, how to experience it, PRACTICALLY?

Here's some practical guidance:

Try this at a quiet moment by sitting in meditation:

Close your eyes and let your attention relax. Let yourself go deeper, deeper, and deeper into yourself. Let the thoughts come, images come, sounds come - don't fight them... Let them be. Just simply take your attention away from them... Go deeper and allow your attention to expand within. Relax within. As if you're falling asleep.

Now in this relaxed state, try to find yourself. Whoever you know yourself to be - try to find that person. The person is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

If you're deep within yourself, you must find that person you call by your name. Where is s/he?

Can you find the solid person? The entity?

There are thoughts - but the thoughts are running in you, there are images - but images are appearing in you, there are feelings - but the feelings are coming and going.

But where is the combination of all of it?

Don't let your mind answer it. Let your experience speak.

Are you really a person who is a combination of these things, or are you the one who is AWARE of it all, OBSERVING it all, KNOWING it all? The one in which everything is appearing and disappearing?

One who is constant, always present, and always unaffected by it all?

When you look for the separate person directly, can you actually find it in your experience?

Experience it yourself, and even during the day, go back to this presence of awareness during all experience.

You and AWARENESS/CONSCIOUSNESS are not separate. You can also call it the Universe because it is ALL THAT IS. You are ALL THAT IS. You are ONE WITH IT ALL. We are all that ONE.

How does this experience help?

This experience helps you to recognize that the self that you are trying to improve, change, or shift doesn't exist. The ego doesn't exist. It is an illusion. And an illusion need not be changed or shifted; it is to be recognized as such.

You are not a person who needs to change their self-concept, improve their thoughts, heal to clear resistances, or do techniques to make yourself feel worthy. The person is an illusion. When you see a mirage in a desert, you don't need to do anything to change it; when you look closer, you see it in its originality as the desert itself. You are also not supposed to do anything to recognize your oneness with everything, including your desires. You just need to look closely, again and again.

This self-recognition is the first step to free yourself from the exhaustion of self-improvement techniques and allow your desires effortlessly. But this is not the only thing needed, and things don't always magically appear by doing this; you also need to take actions. I know it sounds too "unmanifestation-like." But I'll talk about actions in detail in my next post.

When I see anyone talk about manifestation, I see they claim to get something or achieve their desires by doing some techniques. There are thousands of posts in this community as to how to manifest doing the perfect technique or about success stories. If you're looking for another technique, then this post is not for you.

This is not a manifestation success story. This is a manifestation failure story for those who are struggling and want peace from this exhaustion.

You are probably asked to persist without thinking negatively, without paying attention to your doubts, fears, or negative circumstances. So, you are persisting, keeping your hopes high. Trying to understand what you are doing wrong.

You have seen that manifestation does work and you are the living example, but when it comes to your deepest desires, it just doesn't manifest.

Meanwhile, this entire process becomes a journey of exhaustion. You began this journey because you wanted to make your life better, feel happier and more fulfilled. But doing technique after technique, you are mentally exhausted, physically tired, and emotionally drained, but you are scared of accepting that as well because you fear that if you think negatively, you will manifest the negative.

So, you are high vibing, but feeling empty inside. Waiting tiredly, but trying hard to live in the end.

Now, what if I tell you that you don't need to do all that to get what you want? What if I tell you your desires are manifesting all the time even if you don't do any techniques?

What if I tell you, you don't need to be working on your resistances, healing, mindset, self-concept, or anything to get your desires fulfilled?

Now why don't you need to do all these things? Because you are not essentially who you think yourself to be.

You might have heard that you are not the mind and body; you are the consciousness. But what is that exactly? And how would knowing that you are consciousness help you get your desires?

Let's first answer the first question. If you search in Google, the AI response says, "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It is your inner life and your personal experience of the world."

I find this definition quite appropriate. Consciousness is the awareness with which you are aware, with which you KNOW or ARE AWARE of anything and everything.

Now, if you find the pun here, "with which you are aware," that means it must be something that "you" are not?

Now, if I ask you, who you are? What would you say? Don't answer me from any theory, just answer me from your experience.

There is a famous quote, "I may forget who I am, where I am, what I am, but I cannot forget that I Am." I AM is your experience, right? You might be confused about who you truly are, but you are sure that YOU ARE, right?

Stay with me. I'll guide you deeper into a practical tool.

Now to answer the second question, knowing that you are consciousness will NOT help you unless you actually experience it. Only theoretical knowledge is not helpful at all. You can say "oh, now I know that I am consciousness/awareness and that means I am all that is, one with the source, one with my desires, so I can have it all and now I decide that I have it all." But nothing will practically shift, not even your mental state (except a temporary high, then eventual frustration), unless you see, feel and experience yourself as ALL THAT IS.

So, how to experience it, PRACTICALLY?

Here's some practical guidance:

Try this at a quiet moment by sitting in meditation:

Close your eyes and let your attention relax. Let yourself go deeper, deeper, and deeper into yourself. Let the thoughts come, images come, sounds come - don't fight them... Let them be. Just simply take your attention away from them... Go deeper and allow your attention to expand within. Relax within. As if you're falling asleep.

Now in this relaxed state, try to find yourself. Whoever you know yourself to be - try to find that person. The person is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

If you're deep within yourself, you must find that person you call by your name. Where is s/he?

Can you find the solid person? The entity?

There are thoughts - but the thoughts are running in you, there are images - but images are appearing in you, there are feelings - but the feelings are coming and going.

But where is the combination of all of it?

Don't let your mind answer it. Let your experience speak.

Are you really a person who is a combination of these things, or are you the one who is AWARE of it all, OBSERVING it all, KNOWING it all? The one in which everything is appearing and disappearing?

One who is constant, always present, and always unaffected by it all?

When you look for the separate person directly, can you actually find it in your experience?

Experience it yourself, and even during the day, go back to this presence of awareness during all experience.

You and AWARENESS/CONSCIOUSNESS are not separate. You can also call it the Universe because it is ALL THAT IS. You are ALL THAT IS. You are ONE WITH IT ALL. We are all that ONE.

How does this experience help?

This experience helps you to recognize that the self that you are trying to improve, change, or shift doesn't exist. The ego doesn't exist. It is an illusion. And an illusion need not be changed or shifted; it is to be recognized as such.

You are not a person who needs to change their self-concept, improve their thoughts, heal to clear resistances, or do techniques to make yourself feel worthy. The person is an illusion. When you see a mirage in a desert, you don't need to do anything to change it; when you look closer, you see it in its originality as the desert itself. You are also not supposed to do anything to recognize your oneness with everything, including your desires. You just need to look closely, again and again.

This self-recognition is the first step to free yourself from the exhaustion of self-improvement techniques and allow your desires effortlessly. But this is not the only thing needed, and things don't always magically appear by doing this; you also need to take actions. I know it sounds too "unmanifestation-like," and all the manifestation experts will now jump on me to say how they manifested big things without taking any actions. But I'll talk about actions in detail in my next post.

​

When I see anyone talk about manifestation, I see they claim to get something or achieve their desires by doing some techniques. There are thousands of posts in this community as to how to manifest doing the perfect technique or about success stories. If you're looking for another technique, then this post is not for you.

This is not a manifestation success story. This is a manifestation failure story for those who are struggling and want peace from this exhaustion.

You are probably asked to persist without thinking negatively, without paying attention to your doubts, fears, or negative circumstances. So, you are persisting, keeping your hopes high. Trying to understand what you are doing wrong.

You have seen that manifestation does work and you are the living example, but when it comes to your deepest desires, it just doesn't manifest.

Meanwhile, this entire process becomes a journey of exhaustion. You began this journey because you wanted to make your life better, feel happier and more fulfilled. But doing technique after technique, you are mentally exhausted, physically tired, and emotionally drained, but you are scared of accepting that as well because you fear that if you think negatively, you will manifest the negative.

So, you are high vibing, but feeling empty inside. Waiting tiredly, but trying hard to live in the end.

Now, what if I tell you that you don't need to do all that to get what you want? What if I tell you your desires are manifesting all the time even if you don't do any techniques?

What if I tell you, you don't need to be working on your resistances, healing, mindset, self-concept, or anything to get your desires fulfilled?

Now why don't you need to do all these things? Because you are not essentially who you think yourself to be.

You might have heard that you are not the mind and body; you are the consciousness. But what is that exactly? And how would knowing that you are consciousness help you get your desires?

Let's first answer the first question. If you search in Google, the AI response says, "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It is your inner life and your personal experience of the world."

I find this definition quite appropriate. Consciousness is the awareness with which you are aware, with which you KNOW or ARE AWARE of anything and everything.

Now, if you find the pun here, "with which you are aware," that means it must be something that "you" are not?

Now, if I ask you, who you are? What would you say? Don't answer me from any theory, just answer me from your experience.

There is a famous quote, "I may forget who I am, where I am, what I am, but I cannot forget that I Am." I AM is your experience, right? You might be confused about who you truly are, but you are sure that YOU ARE, right?

Stay with me. I'll guide you deeper into a practical tool.

Now to answer the second question, knowing that you are consciousness will NOT help you unless you actually experience it. Only theoretical knowledge is not helpful at all. You can say "oh, now I know that I am consciousness/awareness and that means I am all that is, one with the source, one with my desires, so I can have it all and now I decide that I have it all." But nothing will practically shift, not even your mental state (except a temporary high, then eventual frustration), unless you see, feel and experience yourself as ALL THAT IS.

So, how to experience it, PRACTICALLY?

Here's some practical guidance:

Try this at a quiet moment by sitting in meditation:

Close your eyes and let your attention relax. Let yourself go deeper, deeper, and deeper into yourself. Let the thoughts come, images come, sounds come - don't fight them... Let them be. Just simply take your attention away from them... Go deeper and allow your attention to expand within. Relax within. As if you're falling asleep.

Now in this relaxed state, try to find yourself. Whoever you know yourself to be - try to find that person. The person is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

If you're deep within yourself, you must find that person you call by your name. Where is s/he?

Can you find the solid person? The entity?

There are thoughts - but the thoughts are running in you, there are images - but images are appearing in you, there are feelings - but the feelings are coming and going.

But where is the combination of all of it?

Don't let your mind answer it. Let your experience speak.

Are you really a person who is a combination of these things, or are you the one who is AWARE of it all, OBSERVING it all, KNOWING it all? The one in which everything is appearing and disappearing?

One who is constant, always present, and always unaffected by it all?

When you look for the separate person directly, can you actually find it in your experience?

Experience it yourself, and even during the day, go back to this presence of awareness during all experience.

You and AWARENESS/CONSCIOUSNESS are not separate. You can also call it the Universe because it is ALL THAT IS. You are ALL THAT IS. You are ONE WITH IT ALL. We are all that ONE.

How does this experience help?

This experience helps you to recognize that the self that you are trying to improve, change, or shift doesn't exist. The ego doesn't exist. It is an illusion. And an illusion need not be changed or shifted; it is to be recognized as such.

You are not a person who needs to change their self-concept, improve their thoughts, heal to clear resistances, or do techniques to make yourself feel worthy. The person is an illusion. When you see a mirage in a desert, you don't need to do anything to change it; when you look closer, you see it in its originality as the desert itself. You are also not supposed to do anything to recognize your oneness with everything, including your desires. You just need to look closely, again and again.

This self-recognition is the first step to free yourself from the exhaustion of self-improvement techniques and allow your desires effortlessly. But this is not the only thing needed, and things don't always magically appear by doing this; you also need to take actions. I know it sounds too "unmanifestation-like," and all the manifestation experts will now jump on me to say how they manifested big things without taking any actions. But I'll talk about actions in detail in my next post.

​

When I see anyone talk about manifestation, I see they claim to get something or achieve their desires by doing some techniques. There are thousands of posts in this community as to how to manifest doing the perfect technique or about success stories. If you're looking for another technique, then this post is not for you.

This is not a manifestation success story. This is a manifestation failure story for those who are struggling and want peace from this exhaustion.

You are probably asked to persist without thinking negatively, without paying attention to your doubts, fears, or negative circumstances. So, you are persisting, keeping your hopes high. Trying to understand what you are doing wrong.

You have seen that manifestation does work and you are the living example, but when it comes to your deepest desires, it just doesn't manifest.

Meanwhile, this entire process becomes a journey of exhaustion. You began this journey because you wanted to make your life better, feel happier and more fulfilled. But doing technique after technique, you are mentally exhausted, physically tired, and emotionally drained, but you are scared of accepting that as well because you fear that if you think negatively, you will manifest the negative.

So, you are high vibing, but feeling empty inside. Waiting tiredly, but trying hard to live in the end.

Now, what if I tell you that you don't need to do all that to get what you want? What if I tell you your desires are manifesting all the time even if you don't do any techniques?

What if I tell you, you don't need to be working on your resistances, healing, mindset, self-concept, or anything to get your desires fulfilled?

Now why don't you need to do all these things? Because you are not essentially who you think yourself to be.

You might have heard that you are not the mind and body; you are the consciousness. But what is that exactly? And how would knowing that you are consciousness help you get your desires?

Let's first answer the first question. If you search in Google, the AI response says, "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It is your inner life and your personal experience of the world."

I find this definition quite appropriate. Consciousness is the awareness with which you are aware, with which you KNOW or ARE AWARE of anything and everything.

Now, if you find the pun here, "with which you are aware," that means it must be something that "you" are not?

Now, if I ask you, who you are? What would you say? Don't answer me from any theory, just answer me from your experience.

There is a famous quote, "I may forget who I am, where I am, what I am, but I cannot forget that I Am." I AM is your experience, right? You might be confused about who you truly are, but you are sure that YOU ARE, right?

Stay with me. I'll guide you deeper into a practical tool.

Now to answer the second question, knowing that you are consciousness will NOT help you unless you actually experience it. Only theoretical knowledge is not helpful at all. You can say "oh, now I know that I am consciousness/awareness and that means I am all that is, one with the source, one with my desires, so I can have it all and now I decide that I have it all." But nothing will practically shift, not even your mental state (except a temporary high, then eventual frustration), unless you see, feel and experience yourself as ALL THAT IS.

So, how to experience it, PRACTICALLY?

Here's some practical guidance:

Try this at a quiet moment by sitting in meditation:

Close your eyes and let your attention relax. Let yourself go deeper, deeper, and deeper into yourself. Let the thoughts come, images come, sounds come - don't fight them... Let them be. Just simply take your attention away from them... Go deeper and allow your attention to expand within. Relax within. As if you're falling asleep.

Now in this relaxed state, try to find yourself. Whoever you know yourself to be - try to find that person. The person is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

If you're deep within yourself, you must find that person you call by your name. Where is s/he?

Can you find the solid person? The entity?

There are thoughts - but the thoughts are running in you, there are images - but images are appearing in you, there are feelings - but the feelings are coming and going.

But where is the combination of all of it?

Don't let your mind answer it. Let your experience speak.

Are you really a person who is a combination of these things, or are you the one who is AWARE of it all, OBSERVING it all, KNOWING it all? The one in which everything is appearing and disappearing?

One who is constant, always present, and always unaffected by it all?

When you look for the separate person directly, can you actually find it in your experience?

Experience it yourself, and even during the day, go back to this presence of awareness during all experience.

You and AWARENESS/CONSCIOUSNESS are not separate. You can also call it the Universe because it is ALL THAT IS. You are ALL THAT IS. You are ONE WITH IT ALL. We are all that ONE.

How does this experience help?

This experience helps you to recognize that the self that you are trying to improve, change, or shift doesn't exist. The ego doesn't exist. It is an illusion. And an illusion need not be changed or shifted; it is to be recognized as such.

You are not a person who needs to change their self-concept, improve their thoughts, heal to clear resistances, or do techniques to make yourself feel worthy. The person is an illusion. When you see a mirage in a desert, you don't need to do anything to change it; when you look closer, you see it in its originality as the desert itself. You are also not supposed to do anything to recognize your oneness with everything, including your desires. You just need to look closely, again and again.

This self-recognition is the first step to free yourself from the exhaustion of self-improvement techniques and allow your desires effortlessly. But this is not the only thing needed, and things don't always magically appear by doing this; you also need to take actions. I know it sounds too "unmanifestation-like," and all the manifestation experts will now jump on me to say how they manifested big things without taking any actions. But I'll talk about actions in detail in my next post.

Today I saw a post from someone looking for people willing to lie with her every night - to talk, dream, and pretend their whole lives were already exactly as they wished.

This technique for manifestation is called acting as if.

And honestly it feels good. It feels awesome. It feels awesome to act as if, talk as if, do as if, behave as if. It feels like we've changed. We just have changed. We feel like a new person altogether. A complete identity shift happened. From deep inside. Oh I am no more the person riding buses I am the one riding yachts. Whatever be my circumstances let's not focus on that. Maybe I am going for my same old stressful work but inside I am living in the 4D or 5D. I literally don't care about my circumstances anymore because I have just decided what's true for me and I already am that person. I know it’s happening and I don’t need to lift a finger. It feels like my new life is what I am living right now and the external to match is just a few days away. And maybe also start seeing some movement it just makes us twice invested in the technique.

Until... frustration builds up. Doubts creep in. You begin wondering, How long is this supposed to take? Am I doing everything right? Why hasn't anything changed? Even the "movement" you were so excited about doesn't end the way you imagined.

Then practicality creeps in. Maybe living in your 4D you told your bestie that you're dating now and now your bestie wants to meet your partner and go on a double date and the date is fixed tomorrow. Maybe you ordered your favourite gadget on POD because you "KNEW" that the money will arrive but it will be delivered today but you have not got the money yet. Now what?

Anxiety builds, worry starts, things get scary. What to do now? You still have time, clock is ticking but it is not happening… you knew, you believed, you did the techniques right… you were supposed to live in the end and you were living in the end, internally and externally... then why hasn’t it arrived it?

And maybe that situation also gets somehow managed without the exact manifestation happening and you think okay at least I am saved for now, I was supposed to trust a little more… I am supposed to trust a little more… but FOR HOW LONG???

Then you figure out – oh okay, “I have this particular resistance, this particular trauma, this conditioning to cure.” Now you make yourself a project – I am supposed to work on myself first. I am supposed to heal and release the resistances. I am supposed to be ready before I can receive.

And you heal, you love, you fix, you cure…. But no matter what you do or how good you feel, no matter how many small things manifest in your life… the big things seem to somehow keep slipping away…

And in the meanwhile, you come a long way from the very first thing you wanted when you started this manifestation journey, when you first desired your desires… the happiness, fulfilment and peace of having enough, being enough, being loved, fulfilled and abundant.

At some point you begin wondering whether you've misunderstood manifestation altogether. Maybe the problem isn't that you're failing at techniques. Maybe, beneath all the affirming, visualising and acting as if, you've simply been trying to escape suffering.

So the entire purpose of manifestation is not trying somehow make all your desires come true... your desires coming true is a by-product, is the cherry on top. But the main purpose is feeling fulfilled, happy, worthy, peaceful. No matter how many things you get or how exactly your desires fulfil, if they don’t give you happiness then what’s the point?

Imagine, finally getting your SP and your SP is also treating you the way you wanted, but you’re still unhappy, you still feel unloved.

Or, imagine having all the abundance you desired but even after having your dream home or dream life, you still feel empty inside… it doesn’t make sense, right?

That says, you’ve come into this manifestation journey and doing all these techniques to feel fulfilled in the first place.

And didn’t all these “doing” has taken away the very thing you’ve been truly seeking?

Now, you get it, yes that’s true… but what shall we do then? Because we want the inner peace as well as outer fulfilment of desires. But how to get both?

In order to get the inner and outer balanced, we need to first find who we truly are.. we are not a human self with all its stories and limitations. When we are saying we are loved or abundant, we are not trying to impose a state, when we embody as the version who has it all, we are not acting or trying to make something exist out of nothing or changing negative into positive. We are just declaring what's true all along, underneath it all. But it's one thing to know these theoritically and one thing to experience it practically.

Forget about all the manifestation techniques, if they feel imposed or forceful. You don't need techniques. And techniques don't manifest. Manifestation happens on its own.

If an yellow flower is covered with dirt and looks grey, it doesn't mean it it's not yellow anymore. It doesn't need to do techniques to get back it's colour. It just needs to recognise who it is originally.

Same thing is true for you, in order to get your inherent self back who nature is peace, love and abundance, you just need to look within, go within, rest into yourself, your being.

As Bible says,

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God

And His righteousness;

And all these things shall be added unto you."

You need to find the kingdom of God first, i.e., YOU or I AM who is the source of it all.

This recognition gives you instant fulfillment that you have been seeking in the first place, which is the core of your desire and which is not dependent on anything.

And then you integrate this into your day to day life and take actions towards your desires.

You don't wait for someone to save you, something to click or some magic to happen.

You know that you are the magic. And you let it unfold by being open and taking actions.

This is the most peaceful way to manifest your desire.. and maybe this is the whole purpose of life.

Today I saw a post from someone looking for people willing to lie with her every night - to talk, dream, and pretend their whole lives were already exactly as they wished.

This technique for manifestation is called acting as if.

And honestly it feels good. It feels awesome. It feels awesome to act as if, talk as if, do as if, behave as if. It feels like we've changed. We just have changed. We feel like a new person altogether. A complete identity shift happened. From deep inside. Oh I am no more the person riding buses I am the one riding yachts. Whatever be my circumstances let's not focus on that. Maybe I am going for my same old stressful work but inside I am living in the 4D or 5D. I literally don't care about my circumstances anymore because I have just decided what's true for me and I already am that person. I know it’s happening and I don’t need to lift a finger. It feels like my new life is what I am living right now and the external to match is just a few days away. And maybe also start seeing some movement it just makes us twice invested in the technique.

Until... frustration builds up. Doubts creep in. You begin wondering, How long is this supposed to take? Am I doing everything right? Why hasn't anything changed? Even the "movement" you were so excited about doesn't end the way you imagined.

Then practicality creeps in. Maybe living in your 4D you told your bestie that you're dating now and now your bestie wants to meet your partner and go on a double date and the date is fixed tomorrow. Maybe you ordered your favourite gadget on POD because you "KNEW" that the money will arrive but it will be delivered today but you have not got the money yet. Now what?

Anxiety builds, worry starts, things get scary. What to do now? You still have time, clock is ticking but it is not happening… you knew, you believed, you did the techniques right… you were supposed to live in the end and you were living in the end, internally and externally... then why hasn’t it arrived it?

And maybe that situation also gets somehow managed without the exact manifestation happening and you think okay at least I am saved for now, I was supposed to trust a little more… I am supposed to trust a little more… but FOR HOW LONG???

Then you figure out – oh okay, “I have this particular resistance, this particular trauma, this conditioning to cure.” Now you make yourself a project – I am supposed to work on myself first. I am supposed to heal and release the resistances. I am supposed to be ready before I can receive.

And you heal, you love, you fix, you cure…. But no matter what you do or how good you feel, no matter how many small things manifest in your life… the big things seem to somehow keep slipping away…

And in the meanwhile, you come a long way from the very first thing you wanted when you started this manifestation journey, when you first desired your desires… the happiness, fulfilment and peace of having enough, being enough, being loved, fulfilled and abundant.

At some point you begin wondering whether you've misunderstood manifestation altogether. Maybe the problem isn't that you're failing at techniques. Maybe, beneath all the affirming, visualising and acting as if, you've simply been trying to escape suffering.

So the entire purpose of manifestation is not trying somehow make all your desires come true... your desires coming true is a by-product, is the cherry on top. But the main purpose is feeling fulfilled, happy, worthy, peaceful. No matter how many things you get or how exactly your desires fulfil, if they don’t give you happiness then what’s the point?

Imagine, finally getting your SP and your SP is also treating you the way you wanted, but you’re still unhappy, you still feel unloved.

Or, imagine having all the abundance you desired but even after having your dream home or dream life, you still feel empty inside… it doesn’t make sense, right?

That says, you’ve come into this manifestation journey and doing all these techniques to feel fulfilled in the first place.

And didn’t all these “doing” has taken away the very thing you’ve been truly seeking?

Now, you get it, yes that’s true… but what shall we do then? Because we want the inner peace as well as outer fulfilment of desires. But how to get both?

In order to get the inner and outer balanced, we need to first find who we truly are.. we are not a human self with all its stories and limitations. When we are saying we are loved or abundant, we are not trying to impose a state, when we embody as the version who has it all, we are not acting or trying to make something exist out of nothing or changing negative into positive. We are just declaring what's true all along, underneath it all. But it's one thing to know these theoritically and one thing to experience it practically.

Forget about all the manifestation techniques, if they feel imposed or forceful. You don't need techniques. And techniques don't manifest. Manifestation happens on its own.

If an yellow flower is covered with dirt and looks grey, it doesn't mean it it's not yellow anymore. It doesn't need to do techniques to get back it's colour. It just needs to recognise who it is originally.

Same thing is true for you, in order to get your inherent self back who nature is peace, love and abundance, you just need to look within, go within, rest into yourself, your being.

As Bible says,

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God

And His righteousness;

And all these things shall be added unto you."

You need to find the kingdom of God first, i.e., YOU or I AM who is the source of it all.

This recognition gives you instant fulfillment that you have been seeking in the first place, which is the core of your desire and which is not dependent on anything.

And then you integrate this into your day to day life and take actions towards your desires.

You don't wait for someone to save you, something to click or some magic to happen.

You know that you are the magic. And you let it unfold by being open and taking actions.

This is the most peaceful way to manifest your desire.. and maybe this is the whole purpose of life.

Today I saw a post from someone looking for people willing to lie with her every night - to talk, dream, and pretend their whole lives were already exactly as they wished.

This technique for manifestation is called acting as if.

And honestly it feels good. It feels awesome. It feels awesome to act as if, talk as if, do as if, behave as if. It feels like we've changed. We just have changed. We feel like a new person altogether. A complete identity shift happened. From deep inside. Oh I am no more the person riding buses I am the one riding yachts. Whatever be my circumstances let's not focus on that. Maybe I am going for my same old stressful work but inside I am living in the 4D or 5D. I literally don't care about my circumstances anymore because I have just decided what's true for me and I already am that person. I know it’s happening and I don’t need to lift a finger. It feels like my new life is what I am living right now and the external to match is just a few days away. And maybe also start seeing some movement it just makes us twice invested in the technique.

Until... frustration builds up. Doubts creep in. You begin wondering, How long is this supposed to take? Am I doing everything right? Why hasn't anything changed? Even the "movement" you were so excited about doesn't end the way you imagined.

Then practicality creeps in. Maybe living in your 4D you told your bestie that you're dating now and now your bestie wants to meet your partner and go on a double date and the date is fixed tomorrow. Maybe you ordered your favourite gadget on POD because you "KNEW" that the money will arrive but it will be delivered today but you have not got the money yet. Now what?

Anxiety builds, worry starts, things get scary. What to do now? You still have time, clock is ticking but it is not happening… you knew, you believed, you did the techniques right… you were supposed to live in the end and you were living in the end, internally and externally... then why hasn’t it arrived it?

And maybe that situation also gets somehow managed without the exact manifestation happening and you think okay at least I am saved for now, I was supposed to trust a little more… I am supposed to trust a little more… but FOR HOW LONG???

Then you figure out – oh okay, “I have this particular resistance, this particular trauma, this conditioning to cure.” Now you make yourself a project – I am supposed to work on myself first. I am supposed to heal and release the resistances. I am supposed to be ready before I can receive.

And you heal, you love, you fix, you cure…. But no matter what you do or how good you feel, no matter how many small things manifest in your life… the big things seem to somehow keep slipping away…

And in the meanwhile, you come a long way from the very first thing you wanted when you started this manifestation journey, when you first desired your desires… the happiness, fulfilment and peace of having enough, being enough, being loved, fulfilled and abundant.

At some point you begin wondering whether you've misunderstood manifestation altogether. Maybe the problem isn't that you're failing at techniques. Maybe, beneath all the affirming, visualising and acting as if, you've simply been trying to escape suffering.

So the entire purpose of manifestation is not trying somehow make all your desires come true... your desires coming true is a by-product, is the cherry on top. But the main purpose is feeling fulfilled, happy, worthy, peaceful. No matter how many things you get or how exactly your desires fulfil, if they don’t give you happiness then what’s the point?

Imagine, finally getting your SP and your SP is also treating you the way you wanted, but you’re still unhappy, you still feel unloved.

Or, imagine having all the abundance you desired but even after having your dream home or dream life, you still feel empty inside… it doesn’t make sense, right?

That says, you’ve come into this manifestation journey and doing all these techniques to feel fulfilled in the first place.

And didn’t all these “doing” has taken away the very thing you’ve been truly seeking?

Now, you get it, yes that’s true… but what shall we do then? Because we want the inner peace as well as outer fulfilment of desires. But how to get both?

In order to get the inner and outer balanced, we need to first find who we truly are.. we are not a human self with all its stories and limitations. When we are saying we are loved or abundant, we are not trying to impose a state, when we embody as the version who has it all, we are not acting or trying to make something exist out of nothing or changing negative into positive. We are just declaring what's true all along, underneath it all. But it's one thing to know these theoritically and one thing to experience it practically.

Forget about all the manifestation techniques, if they feel imposed or forceful. You don't need techniques. And techniques don't manifest. Manifestation happens on its own.

If an yellow flower is covered with dirt and looks grey, it doesn't mean it it's not yellow anymore. It doesn't need to do techniques to get back it's colour. It just needs to recognise who it is originally.

Same thing is true for you, in order to get your inherent self back who nature is peace, love and abundance, you just need to look within, go within, rest into yourself, your being.

As Bible says,

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God

And His righteousness;

And all these things shall be added unto you."

You need to find the kingdom of God first, i.e., YOU or I AM who is the source of it all.

This recognition gives you instant fulfillment that you have been seeking in the first place, which is the core of your desire and which is not dependent on anything.

And then you integrate this into your day to day life and take actions towards your desires.

You don't wait for someone to save you, something to click or some magic to happen.

You know that you are the magic. And you let it unfold by being open and taking actions.

This is the most peaceful way to manifest your desire.. and maybe this is the whole purpose of life.

Today I saw a post from someone looking for people willing to lie with her every night - to talk, dream, and pretend their whole lives were already exactly as they wished.

This technique for manifestation is called acting as if.

And honestly it feels good. It feels awesome. It feels awesome to act as if, talk as if, do as if, behave as if. It feels like we've changed. We just have changed. We feel like a new person altogether. A complete identity shift happened. From deep inside. Oh I am no more the person riding buses I am the one riding yachts. Whatever be my circumstances let's not focus on that. Maybe I am going for my same old stressful work but inside I am living in the 4D or 5D. I literally don't care about my circumstances anymore because I have just decided what's true for me and I already am that person. I know it’s happening and I don’t need to lift a finger. It feels like my new life is what I am living right now and the external to match is just a few days away. And maybe also start seeing some movement it just makes us twice invested in the technique.

Until... frustration builds up. Doubts creep in. You begin wondering, How long is this supposed to take? Am I doing everything right? Why hasn't anything changed? Even the "movement" you were so excited about doesn't end the way you imagined.

Then practicality creeps in. Maybe living in your 4D you told your bestie that you're dating now and now your bestie wants to meet your partner and go on a double date and the date is fixed tomorrow. Maybe you ordered your favourite gadget on POD because you "KNEW" that the money will arrive but it will be delivered today but you have not got the money yet. Now what?

Anxiety builds, worry starts, things get scary. What to do now? You still have time, clock is ticking but it is not happening… you knew, you believed, you did the techniques right… you were supposed to live in the end and you were living in the end, internally and externally... then why hasn’t it arrived it?

And maybe that situation also gets somehow managed without the exact manifestation happening and you think okay at least I am saved for now, I was supposed to trust a little more… I am supposed to trust a little more… but FOR HOW LONG???

Then you figure out – oh okay, “I have this particular resistance, this particular trauma, this conditioning to cure.” Now you make yourself a project – I am supposed to work on myself first. I am supposed to heal and release the resistances. I am supposed to be ready before I can receive.

And you heal, you love, you fix, you cure…. But no matter what you do or how good you feel, no matter how many small things manifest in your life… the big things seem to somehow keep slipping away…

And in the meanwhile, you come a long way from the very first thing you wanted when you started this manifestation journey, when you first desired your desires… the happiness, fulfilment and peace of having enough, being enough, being loved, fulfilled and abundant.

At some point you begin wondering whether you've misunderstood manifestation altogether. Maybe the problem isn't that you're failing at techniques. Maybe, beneath all the affirming, visualising and acting as if, you've simply been trying to escape suffering.

So the entire purpose of manifestation is not trying somehow make all your desires come true... your desires coming true is a by-product, is the cherry on top. But the main purpose is feeling fulfilled, happy, worthy, peaceful. No matter how many things you get or how exactly your desires fulfil, if they don’t give you happiness then what’s the point?

Imagine, finally getting your SP and your SP is also treating you the way you wanted, but you’re still unhappy, you still feel unloved.

Or, imagine having all the abundance you desired but even after having your dream home or dream life, you still feel empty inside… it doesn’t make sense, right?

That says, you’ve come into this manifestation journey and doing all these techniques to feel fulfilled in the first place.

And didn’t all these “doing” has taken away the very thing you’ve been truly seeking?

Now, you get it, yes that’s true… but what shall we do then? Because we want the inner peace as well as outer fulfilment of desires. But how to get both?

In order to get the inner and outer balanced, we need to first find who we truly are.. we are not a human self with all its stories and limitations. When we are saying we are loved or abundant, we are not trying to impose a state, when we embody as the version who has it all, we are not acting or trying to make something exist out of nothing or changing negative into positive. We are just declaring what's true all along, underneath it all. But it's one thing to know these theoritically and one thing to experience it practically.

Forget about all the manifestation techniques, if they feel imposed or forceful. You don't need techniques. And techniques don't manifest. Manifestation happens on its own.

If an yellow flower is covered with dirt and looks grey, it doesn't mean it it's not yellow anymore. It doesn't need to do techniques to get back it's colour. It just needs to recognise who it is originally.

Same thing is true for you, in order to get your inherent self back who nature is peace, love and abundance, you just need to look within, go within, rest into yourself, your being.

As Bible says,

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God

And His righteousness;

And all these things shall be added unto you."

You need to find the kingdom of God first, i.e., YOU or I AM who is the source of it all.

This recognition gives you instant fulfillment that you have been seeking in the first place, which is the core of your desire and which is not dependent on anything.

And then you integrate this into your day to day life and take actions towards your desires.

You don't wait for someone to save you, something to click or some magic to happen.

You know that you are the magic. And you let it unfold by being open and taking actions.

This is the most peaceful way to manifest your desire.. and maybe this is the whole purpose of life.

My office has this rule where we're supposed to do yoga every morning. Not exercise, an actual spiritual practice. Om ten times, meditate, read out resolutions. First day the director was there, so everyone did it properly. Second day he was gone, and it turned into twenty minutes of gossip and phone scrolling. I was the only one who kept meditating.

But that's not really what I wanted to write about.

For years before this job, I was deep into spiritual stuff. Non duality, vipassana, manifestation, years of real self work. I turned it into a coaching business and wanted to rely on it completely. But, it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, so I went back into the legal field, which I'd left once before because it felt like too much for me.

When that happened, I genuinely thought the spiritual part of me would just stay behind somewhere. Like it belonged to that failed chapter, and now I had to be a normal corporate person instead.

But it didn't stay behind. It followed me straight into this random, pointless office ritual that nobody else takes seriously anymore. I started meditating with my eyes open because I was scared of being mocked. Then I slowly started closing them anyway. Some people made fun of it, some just went quiet, and eventually the whole room got quieter too, which I really didn't expect.

Here's what I think this actually taught me. We assume being spiritual means meditating for an hour a day, or living some extraordinary, enlightened-looking life. It doesn't. You don't need an hour, you don't even need the whole morning. You just need those ten or twenty minutes wherever they show up, in a boring office ritual, on a commute, in a five minute break, and you stay connected to whatever is underneath all of it. Spirituality was never about becoming someone extraordinary. It's about staying connected to the deeper being inside you while you live a completely ordinary life, law, meetings, gossiping coworkers and all.

Anyone else had their practice show up somewhere random after you thought you'd already given up on it?

My office has this rule where we're supposed to do yoga every morning. Not exercise, an actual spiritual practice. Om ten times, meditate, read out resolutions. First day the director was there, so everyone did it properly. Second day he was gone, and it turned into twenty minutes of gossip and phone scrolling. I was the only one who kept meditating.

But that's not really what I wanted to write about.

For years before this job, I was deep into spiritual stuff. Non duality, vipassana, manifestation, years of real self work. I turned it into a coaching business and wanted to rely on it completely. But, it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, so I went back into the legal field, which I'd left once before because it felt like too much for me.

When that happened, I genuinely thought the spiritual part of me would just stay behind somewhere. Like it belonged to that failed chapter, and now I had to be a normal corporate person instead.

But it didn't stay behind. It followed me straight into this random, pointless office ritual that nobody else takes seriously anymore. I started meditating with my eyes open because I was scared of being mocked. Then I slowly started closing them anyway. Some people made fun of it, some just went quiet, and eventually the whole room got quieter too, which I really didn't expect.

Here's what I think this actually taught me. We assume being spiritual means meditating for an hour a day, or living some extraordinary, enlightened-looking life. It doesn't. You don't need an hour, you don't even need the whole morning. You just need those ten or twenty minutes wherever they show up, in a boring office ritual, on a commute, in a five minute break, and you stay connected to whatever is underneath all of it. Spirituality was never about becoming someone extraordinary. It's about staying connected to the deeper being inside you while you live a completely ordinary life, law, meetings, gossiping coworkers and all.

Anyone else had their practice show up somewhere random after you thought you'd already given up on it?

​

Five years ago, when I came across the concept of manifestation, it awestruck me. I was amazed to see how the mind works in shaping reality. I was guided by my coaches to think positively, affirm, and have my desires very clear and well-defined. So I did, with dedication and effort.

I also got to know myself deeply and meaningfully. I began to realize what I truly wanted, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to experience. It led me to leave my profession of advocacy and also my preparation to become a Judicial Officer. It was too hard for me to live in constant disputes.

Growing up, I had only known my studious side. But this time, I discovered my creative side. I recognized how expressive and emotive I am, and how deeply I love exploring life and people. I felt a strong calling towards acting and self-expression. At the same time, I became deeply devoted to self-recognition and spirituality.

To be honest, acting and spirituality were never two different things for me. They complemented each other.

When I recognized my true desires, I devoted myself to manifesting them. I was in my mid to late twenties, so there was also a sense of urgency about settling into a career after leaving a safe path and making my parents proud. Naturally, my parents felt deeply unsafe about my decision to leave advocacy.

So I tried.

I tried.

I tried.

I tried very desperately to manifest a flourishing career in the field I truly desired.

But as you all know, what they say! Desperation is the thief of external manifestation.

So my manifestation journey evolved. I leaned towards self-healing, nervous system work, somatic practices, and deeper spiritual meditations. I tried everything: positive thinking, affirmations, EFT, visualizations, vision boards, subliminals, mindfulness practices, healing techniques, somatic work, Ho'oponopono, Vipassana meditation, living in the present moment, and much more.

And it would be a lie if I said these practices did not help me.

They helped me immensely in living life on a day-to-day basis. (Although, to anyone reading this, I personally wouldn't recommend starting with positive thinking or affirmations. Today, I find the later practices to be far more balanced, grounding, and peaceful.)

But no matter how much these practices helped me internally, I was unable to manifest the one thing I wanted the most:

To become financially independent while doing what I truly loved.

To feel like an adult who was settled and flourishing in her career.

And perhaps most importantly, to make my parents proud.

Then I found Rupert Spira.

His teachings changed my life.

For the first time, I understood who I truly am. His teachings helped me understand the otherwise difficult concept of non-duality. When I experienced myself as Awareness, my entire way of seeing the world changed.

I found a fountain of peace within myself. It was very ordinarily extraordinary.

I thought,

"Wow... now my life will change forever."

I had wanted to become a spiritual coach from the very beginning of my spiritual journey because spirituality fascinated me. It offered something advocacy never could: a genuine resolution to suffering.

Non-duality also freed me from the exhausting struggle of being a manifestor.

The constant effort of thinking positively.

Fixing every emotion.

Healing every wound.

Correcting every thought.

Watching every word.

It all began to fall away because, after recognizing who I truly am, those things no longer carried the same weight.

I AM before all experience.

I AM beyond every experience.

These were no longer just beautiful ideas. They became lived experiences for me, thanks to Rupert Spira.

I thought,

"Now everything will change."

"Now I truly understand."

"Now I have found peace."

"Now my acting career will flourish."

"Now I'll attract more coaching clients."

"Now money will flow."

I should also mention that while I was working on all these inner practices, I was also taking practical action.

I reached out to people.

Built contacts.

Attended acting workshops.

Went to auditions after auditions.

Likewise, I kept learning, helping people, posting on social media, trying to build my coaching practice, and reaching out to potential clients.

But it wasn't working.

I became increasingly desperate, and ironically, I was using spirituality to manage the desperation that spirituality itself hadn't removed.

I became deeply depressed and frustrated.

I felt unworthy.

Like a failure.

Almost everyone around me seemed to question my sanity, or at least that was how it felt.

Every rejection felt like a verdict on my worth.

I felt incredibly alone.

It was a kind of frustration that was difficult to explain to anyone.

I also struggled to stay consistent with content creation because I constantly questioned myself.

How could I teach people to manifest from peace or from Awareness when I myself hadn't been able to create the life I longed for, even after discovering Awareness?

Sometimes I even judged myself.

If I had truly awakened spiritually, why was I still trying to manifest money, career success, or external achievements?

Even after realizing that my worth doesn't depend on external circumstances, I still felt unworthy whenever those circumstances didn't change.

Even after realizing our essential oneness, I still longed for validation from my parents.

But after living through all of this, I realized something.

Even if this life is ultimately illusory, our human experience within it still matters.

What we long for matters.

What we feel matters.

Spirituality doesn't ask us to pretend that our humanity doesn't exist. It simply invites us to hold it with greater understanding and compassion.

Being extremely depressed, I accepted a job at a small private school, teaching Science and Mathematics.

I was severely overworked and underpaid.

Yet that job gave me something I had been missing for a long time.

It reminded me that I had value.

That my talents could be useful.

That I could contribute.

That I could be paid for my abilities after years of feeling like I had failed.

Even if it wasn't much.

After only four months, I decided to return to law.

Creativity had been feeding my soul, but it wasn't helping me become an independent woman who felt secure in herself.

I didn't feel like the adult I wanted to become.

And at the school, I was extremely underpaid.

This time, I chose to let go of meaningful work, at least for now.

It devastated me.

But I adjusted.

I accepted a job at a law firm that paid me three times what I had earned at the school.

Then, within a week of joining the law firm, I received an offer from a company as a Legal Executive that paid me more than twice the law firm's salary.

I stepped into the corporate world.

And surprisingly, although this isn't the life I once imagined for myself, this job has given me something I desperately needed.

It has helped me feel like a secure adult woman.

Financially independent.

Capable.

Grounded.

And with that stability, I found myself returning to my spiritual practice, not because I needed to fix myself anymore, but because I genuinely loved it.

Meditation doesn't require you to go to the Himalayas.

It doesn't require enormous amounts of free time or escaping the world.

It simply asks for an intention.

An inquiry.

And a willingness to take one step back into your true nature, even in the middle of an ordinary, chaotic life.

I still have those dreams.

I still hope that acting becomes part of my life again someday.

But I'm also learning to enjoy this season.

To enjoy the unfolding.

To live as life appears, rather than constantly measuring it against how I think it should be.

And perhaps this is also what I would love to work on with others.

Not certainty.

Not guarantees.

Not a promise that if you awaken, everything outside you will immediately fall into place.

But a space where you don't have to pretend.

A space where your humanity is welcome alongside your spirituality.

Where you can pursue your dreams without making your worth depend on them.

And maybe acting isn't for this season of my life.

Maybe coaching won't become a huge business instantly.

Maybe life will continue to surprise me in ways I cannot predict.

But I know this:

I want to keep sharing honestly with those who are looking for a quieter, deeper, and more peaceful way of living, even when life is imperfect, and even while they continue to aspire for more.

Five years ago, when I came across the concept of manifestation, it awestruck me. I was amazed to see how the mind works in shaping reality. I was guided by my coaches to think positively, affirm, and have my desires very clear and well-defined. So I did, with dedication and effort.

I also got to know myself deeply and meaningfully. I began to realize what I truly wanted, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to experience. It led me to leave my profession of advocacy and also my preparation to become a Judicial Officer. It was too hard for me to live in constant disputes.

Growing up, I had only known my studious side. But this time, I discovered my creative side. I recognized how expressive and emotive I am, and how deeply I love exploring life and people. I felt a strong calling towards acting and self-expression. At the same time, I became deeply devoted to self-recognition and spirituality.

To be honest, acting and spirituality were never two different things for me. They complemented each other.

When I recognized my true desires, I devoted myself to manifesting them. I was in my mid to late twenties, so there was also a sense of urgency about settling into a career after leaving a safe path and making my parents proud. Naturally, my parents felt deeply unsafe about my decision to leave advocacy.

So I tried.

I tried.

I tried.

I tried very desperately to manifest a flourishing career in the field I truly desired.

But as you all know, what they say! Desperation is the thief of external manifestation.

So my manifestation journey evolved. I leaned towards self-healing, nervous system work, somatic practices, and deeper spiritual meditations. I tried everything: positive thinking, affirmations, EFT, visualizations, vision boards, subliminals, mindfulness practices, healing techniques, somatic work, Ho'oponopono, Vipassana meditation, living in the present moment, and much more.

And it would be a lie if I said these practices did not help me.

They helped me immensely in living life on a day-to-day basis. (Although, to anyone reading this, I personally wouldn't recommend starting with positive thinking or affirmations. Today, I find the later practices to be far more balanced, grounding, and peaceful.)

But no matter how much these practices helped me internally, I was unable to manifest the one thing I wanted the most:

To become financially independent while doing what I truly loved.

To feel like an adult who was settled and flourishing in her career.

And perhaps most importantly, to make my parents proud.

Then I found Rupert Spira.

His teachings changed my life.

For the first time, I understood who I truly am. His teachings helped me understand the otherwise difficult concept of non-duality. When I experienced myself as Awareness, my entire way of seeing the world changed.

I found a fountain of peace within myself. It was very ordinarily extraordinary.

I thought,

"Wow... now my life will change forever."

I had wanted to become a spiritual coach from the very beginning of my spiritual journey because spirituality fascinated me. It offered something advocacy never could: a genuine resolution to suffering.

Non-duality also freed me from the exhausting struggle of being a manifestor.

The constant effort of thinking positively.

Fixing every emotion.

Healing every wound.

Correcting every thought.

Watching every word.

It all began to fall away because, after recognizing who I truly am, those things no longer carried the same weight.

I AM before all experience.

I AM beyond every experience.

These were no longer just beautiful ideas. They became lived experiences for me, thanks to Rupert Spira.

I thought,

"Now everything will change."

"Now I truly understand."

"Now I have found peace."

"Now my acting career will flourish."

"Now I'll attract more coaching clients."

"Now money will flow."

I should also mention that while I was working on all these inner practices, I was also taking practical action.

I reached out to people.

Built contacts.

Attended acting workshops.

Went to auditions after auditions.

Likewise, I kept learning, helping people, posting on social media, trying to build my coaching practice, and reaching out to potential clients.

But it wasn't working.

I became increasingly desperate, and ironically, I was using spirituality to manage the desperation that spirituality itself hadn't removed.

I became deeply depressed and frustrated.

I felt unworthy.

Like a failure.

Almost everyone around me seemed to question my sanity, or at least that was how it felt.

Every rejection felt like a verdict on my worth.

I felt incredibly alone.

It was a kind of frustration that was difficult to explain to anyone.

I also struggled to stay consistent with content creation because I constantly questioned myself.

How could I teach people to manifest from peace or from Awareness when I myself hadn't been able to create the life I longed for, even after discovering Awareness?

Sometimes I even judged myself.

If I had truly awakened spiritually, why was I still trying to manifest money, career success, or external achievements?

Even after realizing that my worth doesn't depend on external circumstances, I still felt unworthy whenever those circumstances didn't change.

Even after realizing our essential oneness, I still longed for validation from my parents.

But after living through all of this, I realized something.

Even if this life is ultimately illusory, our human experience within it still matters.

What we long for matters.

What we feel matters.

Spirituality doesn't ask us to pretend that our humanity doesn't exist. It simply invites us to hold it with greater understanding and compassion.

Being extremely depressed, I accepted a job at a small private school, teaching Science and Mathematics.

I was severely overworked and underpaid.

Yet that job gave me something I had been missing for a long time.

It reminded me that I had value.

That my talents could be useful.

That I could contribute.

That I could be paid for my abilities after years of feeling like I had failed.

Even if it wasn't much.

After only four months, I decided to return to law.

Creativity had been feeding my soul, but it wasn't helping me become an independent woman who felt secure in herself.

I didn't feel like the adult I wanted to become.

And at the school, I was extremely underpaid.

This time, I chose to let go of meaningful work, at least for now.

It devastated me.

But I adjusted.

I accepted a job at a law firm that paid me three times what I had earned at the school.

Then, within a week of joining the law firm, I received an offer from a company as a Legal Executive that paid me more than twice the law firm's salary.

I stepped into the corporate world.

And surprisingly, although this isn't the life I once imagined for myself, this job has given me something I desperately needed.

It has helped me feel like a secure adult woman.

Financially independent.

Capable.

Grounded.

And with that stability, I found myself returning to my spiritual practice, not because I needed to fix myself anymore, but because I genuinely loved it.

Meditation doesn't require you to go to the Himalayas.

It doesn't require enormous amounts of free time or escaping the world.

It simply asks for an intention.

An inquiry.

And a willingness to take one step back into your true nature, even in the middle of an ordinary, chaotic life.

I still have those dreams.

I still hope that acting becomes part of my life again someday.

But I'm also learning to enjoy this season.

To enjoy the unfolding.

To live as life appears, rather than constantly measuring it against how I think it should be.

And perhaps this is also what I want to offer as a coach.

Not certainty.

Not guarantees.

Not a promise that if you awaken, everything outside you will immediately fall into place.

But a space where you don't have to pretend.

A space where your humanity is welcome alongside your spirituality.

Where you can pursue your dreams without making your worth depend on them.

And maybe acting isn't for this season of my life.

Maybe coaching won't become a huge business instantly.

Maybe life will continue to surprise me in ways I cannot predict.

But I know this:

I want to keep sharing honestly with those who are looking for a quieter, deeper, and more peaceful way of living, even when life is imperfect, and even while they continue to aspire for more.