u/themorbidmango

I love animals as much as the next person. Dogs on the street? Yes they're a bit unruly, but I try to befriend them.

I live in a large society in Kharghar Sector 20 and there are dogs inside the apartment building. 12 to be precise. They guard different areas at night and almost murder people who walk by that way. The children are terrified and on alternate days you can hear someone screaming and crying when it chases them. In the evenings when they cross that area they ask an adult to accompany them (the adult is equally terrified)

Im all against cruelty, but the fear is constant. Ive ttied to befriend them, all that, but to no avail. I need to live in a place where I can take my aged mother for a short walk. Is there a way the dogs can be removed? Please do not suggest outrageous things like hurting them because that is not a path i want to take.

Ive spoken to building authorities, they dont do anything and the 'dog lovers' (I hate calling them that because if they truly loved the dog they would find a sheltered home for it or take it in) feed them inside the society premises which leads to other dogs coming in. People take sticks and walk but if we're paying thousands in maintenance and crores for a house....do we not deserve safe surroundings?

Is there any way to get them out? This sounds like an insensitive post when i read it...but im at wits end. We have a baby in the house and she doesn't sleep at night because of the constant howling and barking. My mother cant step out of the house and has fallen once because a dog chased her. And to be honest, im afraid too.

I know we cant do anything outside the society and ive made peace with it. But absolutely anything helps.

Im getting to pondi at 6am at New Bus stand.

Is there a place where i can bring a small suitcase and have coffee (and sit till 830-9am?)

The checkin is at 1pm but I'll spend my time around the city till then. Just need a place (thats functioning) from 6am -9am.

Guys.

I feel like Kharghar has very few good libraries. And I know most of us have bookshelves full of books!

The idea

A Kharghar Book Lending Group on WhatsApp

How it would work:

1. Everyone shares a list of books they’re willing to lend

2. If you want to read something, you DM the person directly

3. You can meet up, get it delivered, or swap, whatever works for both of you

4. Read it, return it. That’s it.

We can also do direct book swaps if both people are interested.

About money:

I’m thinking we keep it simple with no money involved. Just trust.

If a book gets lost or damaged, the borrower can replace it or pay the MRP.

The whole point is to get access to each other’s collections. I’m sure we all have very different books and tastes, and this way we get to read way more.

Does something like this exist? If yes, please let me know.

Would you join something like this?

And for anyone who’s done book-sharing before, did a deposit system or trust system work better for you?

27f

I've picked a new job.

It's in Mumbai, I live in Navi Mumbai. Door to door thats 2 hours of travel 1 way. Kharghar to Lower Parel.

Ive always had a wfh job and easy travel. Im very afraid that the travel will burn me out in no time. I hate crowds and pushing through people. More than anything it mentally tires me. Im having nightmares about how I'll burnout quicker than ever. (In 2018, i had a 1 hour travel each way and I could only do it for 6 months before I broke down). I need to do very well at this job, and I really want to as well.

The job is at a great brand and im being paid well hence this decision.

Moving close to work isn't an option.

To the women who travel insane hours in Mumbai, absolutely any advice? I live with inlaws and husband (have no household chore/meal/forced interaction burdens at all).

I want to build some sort of routine that will (if not make me look forward to each day) atleast make each day a slightly energetic happy one.

Now when I wfh I have time to go out, spend time at home, gym, music class etc. Now I also see most of that stopping. I don't want to fear this as much as I do.

I work for an IT/AI company and have been given the task of promoting the AI product we're creating. They want 'complete enterprise wide adoption'. One of the tools they want me to use is Newsletter.

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I spoke to HR, BrandComms (the people who initially made Newsletters in the company). Floated the idea, asked them if we have any existing Newsletters. Feedback I got: the effort did not justify the result, they never opened it. So we stopped creating them.

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Now unfortunately I get 1 shot to make this a hit. And ive never made Newsletters before. My work has mainly been social media/content. I know how to make one, but I desperately need help on how to make it successful.

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An employee bogged down with work needs to 'look forward' to what im sending them. The Newsletter is a product focused one, it is not general company news.

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Absolutely any tips and tricks to make this successful will be really helpful.

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Things ive kept in mind while I work on this:

1. What would I want to see in a Newsletter

2. What value does it drive?

3. What line can it toe to find the balance between fun, informative and formal

4. Who is my audience and what do I want them to feel when they read the Newsletter.

5. How do I uncomplicate Tech/AI for them.

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Please help! (TIA)

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No matter what I do, my hair always just knots itself up. Ill brush it, leave it open for 10 mins and there's knots somehow. If I oil it, there's still knots, if I braid it, surprise, knots again when I remove the braid.

Everytime I detangle it softly also, I lose hair.

Help!

I recently had a conversation with my partner (27f, 33M) and I'd like to know what your opinion would be in such a situation.

We went on a trip with his office colleagues. An Airbnb, 1 married couple with a young girl, 3 men and 1 woman (and us).

For context: all of them work together, they're close friends too. We had a party, drank and were having good conversations.

The woman and I got along, she's much younger, around 22,23ish. We talked about everything from life lessons to making friends and its difficulties etc. She was also grateful for the friendships she had with these guys and that they were sweethearts, but they constantly pull her leg. My thought here: As a woman who has been a part of all boy gangs, this is common...till a limit.

Now when we head inside and we're having a conversation (I would say im pretty vocal about everything thats in my mind, especially ethical issues), she pipes up with her opinion. Immediately one of the guys goes 'Tera toh opinion hi valid nahi hai idhar, tu kyun bol rahi hai, Tera Kaun sunega.' While I was taken aback, everyone laughed and she got a bit shy and kept quiet. Conversations continued and while she also spoke, I often got the feeling that these guys would make her the butt of a joke. She would also get riled up very easily over tiny things. (I told her not to take them seriously because they were dumb, etc playful banter.) Then one of the guys goes ' ay chal paani leke aa' in an order kinda way. I was taken aback but she quietly went and got it.

Nobody said anything about that behavior. Im an 'outsider here' so I held my tongue. But the second time someone spoke to her like that (it was somewhere along the lines of, tu kyun baith ke baat kar rahi hai, jake fruits la' i got annoyed and told the guy to tone it down. Throughout this entire evening the woman who they're making fun of playfully or speaking to like this, isn't saying anything or making a face. Sometimes she quietens down after they've made fun of her and sometimes she's back up talking normally till they say some weird crap in this way (which on the lighter sense was making her the butt of their jokes over 30% of the time). I called them out multiple times, giving back where i felt there was no need for them to say such things....but my husband never said anything.

To also note

1. Husband never spoke to her disrespectfully even once. She apparently likes him 'the best' whatever that means

2. She has a 'pushover' (to be blatant) personality, will not stand up for anything

3. She never once complained or got visibly upset.

4. As individuals these men are good human beings...but when men get together they become ...weird in conversations.

5. If anybody spoke to me like that even once id rearrange their facial structure

Now a few weeks later, i decided to bring it up with my husband. I asked him why he didn't stand up for her, or say anything, calling out his friends.

He said:

1. Their relationship with her is different from mine.

2. She's always like this, she doesn't get upset or even say anything, sometimes she also gives back

3. She does stand up for herself sometimes for things she believes in

4. If she has not come and told me about it or I don't have any inkling that she's feeling bad, why should I step in

5. Am I not robbing her of her agency to stand up for herself?

6. Disrespect is what 'I' thought it was. The conversation is subjective and if she didn't feel bad who are we to step into it.

I was a little taken aback.

Why would I wait for someone to feel bad to call out disrespectful behavior? Not everyone can stand up for themselves. Does that mean I let the other person talk to them like that? She's young, impressionable and honestly has major self esteem issues. I say this because thats EXACTLY who i was when I was 20. If I had someone stand up for me at that time, I would have loved it.

And my judgement is also clouded because I know men will defend and justify anything another man does till his grave.

Now my husband is a man of many words, but he's never spoken to anyone even in a slightly negative tone. But isn't he enabling such behavior by not calling it out?

The weirdest part is this girl still really likes these boys. Like her own brothers. She has deep conversations with them, they help each other out all the time...but the way they treat her sometimes is just jarring.

Am I overreacting by wanting my husband to call his friends out when they say the shit they did? Is it really robbing someone's agency? Im confused.

Edit 1: the judgement I have made about her personality is based on multiple interactions with her individually and in a group.

TLDR::::

Trip with husband’s work friends. Guys constantly belittled + ordered 22F coworker around. She stayed quiet, seems to love them. I called them out, husband didn’t. He says she wasn’t upset, so stepping in robs her agency. I think you don’t wait for someone to feel bad to call out disrespect. Is he enabling it or am I overstepping?