u/thisisajoshpun

i am a queer, chronically ill person who is very afraid of their future and desperately in need of reassurance and comfort. i attended eucharist at my local church for the first time today (albeit online) and i plan to sit down and read through the bible on days i am well enough to. i really, desperately want to believe that there is someone out there who is watching over me and caring for me, but i'm aware that to be Christian is to care for others and to express that outwardly to the community. i want to be a part of the community, and i hope to attend my local church if this feels right for me - the priests seem kind and inclusive and i would like to help out if possible. but is it wrong to begin exploring faith for such selfish reasons?

I've been selfshipping off and on for about two years now (or since I was a kid if we're counting the years before I knew the word for it) and one thing I've always struggled with is guilt. I jump from interest to interest very quickly and as a result I've ended up with a few f/os. I have two brothers whom I love very dearly, however when it comes to romantic partners I always feel so guilty when I move onto someone else. I wish I had the long term relationship with someone that I see people have here, it seems so wonderful. Does anyone else have experience feeling like this?

Forgive me if I'm missing something, for context I haven't read any of the books and am a little hazy on how both remnant and agony work.

As I understand it remnant is a sort of intangible imprint of a soul onto metal, the metal itself isn't remnant but instead contains it. It can be burned to release the soul and can be melted into different shapes/injected into someone alive to both heal them and/or allow them to communicate with the soul. If that's the case, how is agony much different? If agony is the most dire form of pain, so extreme that it can cause the soul to not be released upon death, does that mean it creates remnant upon a near-death event or just acts very similarly? Is agony the opposite of remnant? Or is it just an alternate form of it?

I've always assumed Afton's death caused him such mental and physical agony that he arrogantly refused to die, forcing him to stay in an undead state in the Spring Bonnie suit. Either that or the agony of Cassidy/the other four caused him to be unable to leave. Shadow Freddy/Nightmare implies in UCN that he was created from Afton’s “wickedness”, a creature spawned from agony, and I've always assumed the phantoms from FNAF 3 were too. I'm open to the idea of Afton feeding on the agony of his creations to stay 'alive' after being springlocked as a way to sustain himself, whether that be the agony of the MCI kids or of Nightmare/the phantoms. Or maybe the phantoms are just hallucinations from agony left in the suits or were created directly by Afton himself.

Am I making things up or is it just unclear as to how both function? What am I missing?

I am very new to Polish but am very interested in learning it! I'd also love to read The Witcher in its original language and am wondering what level of fluency would be needed to understand most of it. As a high school level/young adult novel I'm presuming it sits around B2-C2 on the CEFR scale but would appreciate any input. I would like to have it as my final goal if possible, and I know it will be very far away from now but I hope it will give me the motivation to keep learning. Dziękuję!