u/trinityarcher

I had a dream last night that I opened my computer and UCAS said I got A*EE but not whether I got into either my firm or insurance, and I had to get the train to my firm university to find out whether I got in or not in person.

Hopefully that doesn't actually happen on results day.

I've hated my name since I was about 10 (I'm 18F now). My name is Livvy, not short for Olivia, just Livvy. My parents chose not to do the full longer name because it seemed stupid when they wanted everyone to call me by the shortened 'nickname' version (funny because literally everyone calls me Liv lol).

It genuinely just grates me. I hate the name so much. I feel embarrassed telling people that's my name, it just feels too cutesy to be a full name and I DESPISE the double-v. Half the people I know don't even spell it right. And I don't like the fact I'm going to be a grown adult named Livvy.

I'm considering changing my name to Liberty, and going by Libby. It's close enough to my lifelong name that it'll feel like a comfortable transition, and I'd have an actual full name to use for more 'formal' situations (I want to be a doctor in the future and I'd be more comfortable being Dr. Liberty than Dr. Livvy).

But also I don't know if it seems stupid to change my name just to have a nickname that basically sounds the same as my old name. Like, am I pathetic to be like "I hate Livvy! Call me Libby instead!", I don't know.

I've been thinking and I've just realised basically every single person I know knows what university I've firmed. Like my whole family knows, all my friends know, and I'm working part-time at my mum's workplace and she told literally all of our coworkers... If I don't get into Newcastle I literally have to repeatedly tell every single person I know that I failed aaaa

Title might seem unclear so I'll elaborate. I have a crush on this guy who I have a lot of the same interests as. We're both interested in music, films, and literature - maybe these are basic but whatever. But I feel like he cares so much more about these interests than me that I probably couldn't have an interesting conversation with him about them.

For one example, I like watching movies and rate them on Letterboxd and give high ratings to lots of movies just because I liked watching them, whereas he sees himself as a 'cinephile' and rates movies on Letterboxd based on personal enjoyment, plot, and the technical stuff too - cinematography, sound, etc. And he has 1000+ more films logged than me.

I just feel like I wouldn't be able to properly talk to him about any of our shared interests because he would see me as a very casual/shallow enjoyer of these things, not caring as deeply as he does. I just feel like I can never talk to him because I'll just bore him with my basic opinions about everything ):