u/umokmartin

Hi all, I 25f am getting evaluated by a therapist and she brought up that she thinks I have STPD.. I disagreed and said maybe SZPD based off my prior knowledge of it. I was given the homework of looking more into both to discuss next session and I realized that I don’t really fully relate to either… however I could simply in denial about STPD? For more context I also have known OCD that I’ve been working on in therapy. My experiences are as follows:

1. Ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference) - I do NOT have any
2. Odd beliefs or magical thinking that influence behavior - I do spend a lot of time engaging in fantasy/daydreaming, however there is a clear delineation between my fantasies/fiction and real life. I do not enjoy the esoteric or philosophical topics.
3. Unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions - I HAVE thought I can see a cockroach out the corner of my eyes but it always ends up being paint chips or recently a black peice of tape that was stuck to the wall for some reason, however I was thinking this would be related to OCD “pseudo hallucinations” as cockroaches are one of my obsessions. I also sometimes think my mother has called my name but this has never been when I’m home alone, rather when my mom is home and usually I have headphones on so can’t actually tell. There is always preexisting stimuli and I do distort it but it doesn’t go any further than those two. I don’t feel sensations, feel presence of others that aren’t there, etc (examples Google gave me haha)
4. Odd thinking and speech - This is the main point that confuses me. During light hearted conversations, work conversations, and “fun” discussions I have no issue with expressing myself with facial expressions though I know I am generally stiffer or more awkward than “normal” people might be. However when the conversations turn intensely personal like in my therapy sessions, my brain kicks into overdrive, I start thinking about what the other person wants me to say, I start to feel a bit “threatened” and kind of shut down and honestly I hold back a lot of what I want to say. This leads to really long awkward pauses which in combination with me having a blunter affect definitely comes across as weird
5. Suspiciousness or paranoid ideation - I DO worry about strangers standing behind me and hitting me in the back of my head, or my friends possibly deciding they hate me and revealing personal info I might’ve stupidly told them. I also am suspicious of my therapist trying to admit me to the hospital but specifically due to ED reasons, nothing else. The rest of my worries are related to my OCD themes (ie is there any cockroaches in this room I’m in? I need to check. Or is there toilet paper stuck to my shoe after I used the bathroom? I need to check. Etc)
6. Inappropriate or constricted affect - I do have a constricted affect, I always have even in toddler/young me photos I’m basically always making a 😐 face
7. Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar - I have always been weird lol, nothing new. My therapist told me that my facial expressions are odd, but that stems from my mother telling me I need to learn social niceties and smile at people 😭 and now my therapist is telling me I have a serial killer smile. I just can’t win here, I literally just don’t know what to do with my face apparently. I dress “normal”, boringly, usually just sweatpants and a tshirt/long sleeve. I do wish I had some cool style but I’m lazy 💓
8. Lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives - I have a few trusted online friends and IRL coworkers I consider my friends I sometimes confide in, I don’t like talking about my issues to my family
9. Excessive social anxiety does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self - I do have some anxieties but for me it DOES diminish with familiarity, unless they do something to hurt me then otherwise I stop trusting them lol. I do hold very long grudges and will avoid people that I hold a grudge against, most recent example being one of my bosses. She kind of scolded me back in July for a mistake I made, even though she apologized and said she wasn’t mad at me I’m just feel really weird about it, so I’m still not speaking to her/ avoid her when I can. However specifically when it comes to romantic relationships, I start to become overwhelmed with this sense of dread and really want to break up. Additionally I’m 100% fine with talking to strangers, I won’t imitative a conversation but if they stop to ask me for directions I have no issue replying in a normal way without any type of anxiety. However when I’m talking in a group of people I will start to get cold sweats or really hot/flushed and I want to go sit down. I do fear saying the wrong things and just want to stop talking forever because I always end up saying stupid or mean stuff

I don’t think I FULLY dislike platonic relationships like in Schizoid PD, they’re just a lot of energy and unknowns. I am independent, have no issues holding down a job, etc. So am I in denial about STPD??? I don’t want to make this post too long so I’ll leave off there but please weigh in if anyone can relate or if I’m off the mark here, or if there’s something else that we could be missing? TY

Hi all, I’m getting evaluated by a therapist and we had been discussing two options: SZPD or STPD. I was given the homework of looking more into both and I realized that I don’t really relate to either, but instead possibly AVPD. I wanted to see what people that do have AVPD think about the issues I listed below and if it fits your experience, or if I’m simply in denial about STPD/SZPD? For more context I also have known OCD that I’ve been working on in therapy

1. I do sort of kind of want friendships and even romantic relationships, but the moment I enter a romantic relationship I am immediately overcome by a sense of dread that I can’t ever seem to shake. I don’t want to tell my partner anything super personal, like what types of books I read, etc. I told my partner my address and I fear I almost started tweaking the moment I realized what I had done. I overall prefer online friendships so I can come and go as I please, and block ppl… never having to worry about it again
2. I worry about strangers harming me physically or people I know possibly changing their mind about me and revealing personal info I stupidly told them.
   I want to stop talking forever because I always end up saying stupid or mean stuff
3. I know I can be super monotone, make really long pauses in between replies, and am just generally awkward in terms of facial expressions when I am in a very personal conversation, maybe because I’m constantly overthinking? I run through a lot of different replies in my heard to see which is the best option especially because I don’t want to upset the therapist/etc. But when I feel the pause in between my replies or words gets way too long I just make up stuff and then feel stupid about it lol. I have been told I have a “serial killer smile” when I make what I thought was a socially pleasant smile 🙃 On the flip side when I am in a light hearted convo or talking about juicy gossip with a “trusted” person I guess I don’t even think about how I’m acting, I know I still might seem a bit awkward but smiling, etc comes easier to me.
4. Rethinking conversations and exchanges in my head long after they’ve been over
5. Long grudges, even still holding some from elementary school (I’m in my late 20s). Most recent example is one of my bosses kind of scolded me back in July for a mistake I made, even though she apologized and said she wasn’t mad at me I’m just not sure, so I’m still not speaking to her/ avoid her when I can.
6. I don’t *think* I have anxiety, but I think my therapist thinks I do and my trusty friend I asked also thinks I have anxiety? I’m wondering if I’ve had a wrong understanding of what anxiety truly is or if I have been lying this whole time? I know for example when I’m talking in a group of people that I trust I still start to get cold sweats or really hot/flushed and I want to go sit down, but at the same time if a stranger on the street asks me for directions I am able to reply super easy and go on about my day (then ocd hits and I wonder if I told them the wrong directions Lol)
7. I’m really worried and focused on if I smell gross or if my headscarf looks dumb etc

I don’t think I experience the perceptual distortions and magical thinking that Schizotypal PD entails, and I don’t think I FULLY hate platonic relationships like in Schizoid PD. I think I can understand were the assertion comes from because I feel extremely weird during therapy and almost like I’m being threatened by the whole situation. Would AVPD be the middle ground between these or am I in denial??? I don’t want to make this post too long so I’ll leave off there but please weigh in if anyone can relate or if I’m off the mark here. TY

Just a fun question for any therapists or psychologists etc. Is there a particular type of patient in terms of their energy or even diagnosis that makes you excited to see them? Any rare disorders that you only ever read about in a textbook that suddenly popped up in your office?

Hi everyone. Been in and out of recovery for over a decade now but I was never officially diagnosed. I started seeing a therapist maybe two months ago and she’s asked me about ED behaviors several times and each time I tbh lie and say no. I’m starting to feel guilty and wondering if I should just come clean? I’ve started slipping back into certain behaviors due to recent events but my main concern is getting put on psych hold

I made a post not too long ago about REBT, but today after our session I asked my therapist if she thought I had schizophrenia (I don’t want to have schizophrenia). She replied with no but she says she recognized some psychosis. She didn’t elaborate and I can’t see her clinic visit notes.

I did mention maybe two sessions ago sometimes I hear people whispering my name and bells ringing, but wouldn’t being aware that these sounds are fake make it not psychosis? And if not schizophrenia what else could this fall under? I’ve already looked at the common disorders (Schizoaffective, Schizotypal, etc) and found I could not relate to the symptom lists.

The idea of having five hundred billion diagnoses makes me worried. One is enough, two is borderline, three seems like malingering (for me personally… I don’t mean to offend anyone). I just want to start keeping a list so I can track all of this and maybe pay more attention to symptoms so that way I can make sure I’m not lying to her

I recently started seeing a therapist. She suspects I have OCD and in the most recent session told me to try the REBT form. It makes no sense, is it supposed to be purposefully difficult and vague?

For example the old negative emotions and new healthy negative emotions… is anxiety and concern not the same thing? Are shame and regret not the same thing? For RB’s… how could I put anything other than my “wish” is to not do whatever the activating event was again.

Am I dumb or what. It’s been two weeks, my next session is Friday and I have only filled out the form once and probably poorly because I am not understanding what it wants from me. I know she will give me a look.

Also bonus question for any therapist that actually responds.. is it routine to try and convince patients to go “out” and “have fun”. I just don’t want to. Is there another point I’m missing or lines I’m failing to read in between

Hi all. Recently got seen by a GI due to a swallow study showing esophageal retention and over a year of the following symptoms: feeling food getting stuck in my throat, chest pressure during meals, weird food smells after I finish eating, non-acidic reflux, super dry mouth, feeling like I need to throw up but nothing ever actually coming up, and frequent choking.

My GI suspected either EoE or achalasia. Wondering if my symptoms match up with what people with diagnosed EoE here experience?

I did trial Protonix for two months already plus made dietary changes but there was zero reduction in my symptoms or reflux.

My endoscopy is on Thursday but sadly they didn’t have openings for the manometry until August. Just wanted to know what to expect, but I’m mostly worried that the tests will show absolutely nothing and I’ll have zero answers for why I feel like doodoo everyday.