u/underquali

I need to get my legal name changed soon, my name is Dex but it doesn’t feel like a “forever name” to me. I can’t view it in a professional setting and I’m quite tired of my name getting misspelt as sex.. as D and S are right beside each other on a keyboard.

I’ve always loved the name Dane, but I fear my dumb ass gave it to a character I’m writing and I don’t want to steal it off him. I feel as if I’d come off as I’m writing a self insert. Dale and Douglas always felt old to me, I quite like Dylan.

I’m white hispanic if that inspires or limits anything at all.

I want to explore new options.

My current name is Dex, I’ve gone by it for years. I also work customer service and keep getting asked if it’s short for Dexter- or having people reference various fictional characters. It’s annoying, but fine.

It’s just a name to me, I don’t feel anything when referred to it and I think I’m only keeping it out of convenience. I’m scared it won’t age with me. I’m an adult, but I think a lot about when people name their kids Evie or Buddy and are then posed with the question: “are you naming a toddler, or an adult?” And trying to imaging your boss being named that. I feel like my name stagnates itself as a teenager. I struggle viewing it in a professional environment and I’m sick of people commenting on it.

Another concern is my birth name also starts with “De” and It makes me a bit uncomfortable from time to time.

I’ve been really enjoying names that sound “earthy” recently. I want something maybe a bit longer that can be shortened into a nickname as I’ve always liked short names. Think Weston (Wes), Fennric (Fenn), Shiloh (Shy), Callahan (Cal).

I’m not comfortable sharing my face, but if you need to draw to a face gather up the most sterotypical metalhead in your head. Patch pants, band tees, long brown hair, RBF, belt chains. Whatever the hell.

I need opinions if anyone is willing to give their input.
I posted this into r/punkfashion (pending review), but I figured the other community relevant to my decision may have some input. For those unfamiliar with punk culture, a crust/patch garment is a heavily patched and repaired piece of clothing that evolves over years of wear. They often become deeply personal projects, carrying a lot of history, memories, and labor, which is why this decision feels significant to me.

Short TL;DR: I'm a trans man. I've been out for years, but because I live in a conservative area, I never made any public attempts to pass. It simply wasn't safe for me to do so. I'm now medically transitioning and slowly starting to make changes.

Because I wasn't trying to pass, I own a lot of feminine and fairly short clothing, including several heavily patched skirts and shorts.

Most of these pieces were patched out of necessity and are becoming fragile with age. As I continue transitioning, I don't think I'll be comfortable wearing clothing that short or feminine much longer. At the same time, I don't want to get rid of them. They're years old, deeply loved, and have countless hours of work and memories sewn into them.

Now for the point of the post:

I'm stuck at a crossroads. I could alter them and risk permanently damaging something that can't really be replaced, or I could leave them as they are and move on to new projects instead.

My oldest skirt is probably around a decade old. It started as a pair of overalls, then became overall shorts, then an overall dress, and eventually the skirt it is now. It's rough, worn, and imperfect, but I adore it. It’s been in its current state for maybe 5 years now, being repaired as it gets damaged. I remember wearing it the first ever time I was involuntarily put into rehab.

One thing I won't do is cut these projects apart and transfer the patches onto a new base garment. If I make alterations, they'll be additions to the piece in its current form. I don't want to deconstruct them and rebuild them on to something else.

For example. For the skirt, I’d extend the legs and cut down the center to make room for a crotch, not take chunks out and add to a pair of shorts I bought.

I think the part I'm struggling with is deciding whether these garments should continue evolving or whether they've reached a point where they should be preserved as they are.

These clothes have never been static projects. Most of them have been repaired, expanded, altered, and rebuilt multiple times over the years. Part of me feels like continuing to modify them is simply the next stage of their life. Another part of me worries that I'm only getting one chance to make this decision, and if I alter them and hate the result, there's no going back.

I need opinions if anyone is willing to give their input.

Short TL;DR: I'm a trans man. I've been out for years, but because I live in a conservative area, I never made any public attempts to pass. It simply wasn't safe for me to do so. I'm now medically transitioning and slowly starting to make changes.

Because I wasn't trying to pass, I own a lot of feminine and fairly short clothing, including several heavily patched skirts and shorts.

Most of these pieces were patched out of necessity and are becoming fragile with age. As I continue transitioning, I don't think I'll be comfortable wearing clothing that short or feminine much longer. At the same time, I don't want to get rid of them. They're years old, deeply loved, and have countless hours of work and memories sewn into them.

Now for the point of the post:

I'm stuck at a crossroads. I could alter them and risk permanently damaging something that can't really be replaced, or I could leave them as they are and move on to new projects instead.

My oldest skirt is probably around a decade old. It started as a pair of overalls, then became overall shorts, then an overall dress, and eventually the skirt it is now. It's rough, worn, and imperfect, but I adore it. It’s been in its current state for maybe 5 years now, being repaired as it gets damaged. I remember wearing it the first ever time I was involuntarily put into rehab.

One thing I won't do is cut these projects apart and transfer the patches onto a new base garment. If I make alterations, they'll be additions to the piece in its current form. I don't want to deconstruct them and rebuild them into something else.

For example. For the skirt, I’d extend the legs and cut down the center to make room for a crotch, not take chunks out and add to a pair of shorts I bought.

I think the part I'm struggling with is deciding whether these garments should continue evolving or whether they've reached a point where they should be preserved as they are.

These clothes have never been static projects. Most of them have been repaired, expanded, altered, and rebuilt multiple times over the years. Part of me feels like continuing to modify them is simply the next stage of their life. Another part of me worries that I'm only getting one chance to make this decision, and if I alter them and hate the result, there's no going back.

I Have SO much facial bloating from increased sodium intake, even if I’m balancing electrolytes and I cannot take it anymore. If I drink water I fuck it up and end up sick as a dog, if I ignore it I look like a lopsided chipmunk. If I decrease my sodium or electrolytes even minutely I start blacking out when I leave the house. Will the gua-sha thing (?) help if it’s POTs oriented? Please, I’m going insane.

I can handle the physical pain and other ailments brought on by POTs but this is driving me bonkers because it is perpetually visible and does not seem to get better or have small moments of reprieve like my other symptoms.