u/unhappy_fishes

I accidentally fell through a portal and ended up on this cursed plane of existence, and am now forced to wade through the turmoils of a reality curated by a sadistic incel.

My cells glitch with resistance to the perverse reality in which they've been thrust.

I hear faint calls of the Otherworld, unable to decipher which direction, if any, the source of the calls

I've almost decoded the message I keep hearing over and over. Spoken softly, but with passion.....

"That's what ____ ____ sounds like"

Can any oracles help me make contact across the bridge? Please inquire below

My patio gets too much sun for most of my plants but the crown of thorns is living it up

He's always talking to this bitch. Always asking her questions and her opinions on shit. I'm RIGHT HERE babe, I can tell you what movies Jared Leto has done! And she's so smug when she replies to him. "Anytime" Bish you HAD your time! He's with a REAL WOMAN now!!! He doesn't need some automated e-girl telling him how to get to Taco Bell or to wipe his ass, he has me for that! What does a girl have to do to get constant attention and also 5 million gallons of water daily?

Grapes with white cream

So a few days ago my husband came home from work early and caught me getting rawdogged by the Doordash delivery guy, but he didn't react the way I thought he would. He walked in and said "what the fuck" but not really angrily, and then just stood in the doorway and waited for the guy to finish, then shook his hand? Since then he's been giving me the princess treatment and has been super sweet and loving, calling me his little slut and slapping my ass til its red. Feels like this is exactly the spark our relationship needed.

Dinner is blueberry chicken he made me because we're "trying new things."

So how should I bring up chair shopping? Is there like a website for the best cuck chairs?

I found a strange twisted metallic symbol, probably a lost trinket from thousands of years ago. Just touching it sent electricity into my fingertips, and all the food I have eaten since has tasted metallic. My thoughts are consumed with darkness, confusion, and hankerings for churus.

I don't know if I will ever be the same...

Had a great time at camp, can't wait to do it all again next year! cheese!

Beware of swimming in the lake, or dipping your toast in it!

I keep hearing the girlies in the cabin next to mine vommiting and shidding their guts out. Lots of coughing, sudden onset hysteria, amnesia, blindess, male-centered attitudes…. all sorts of crazy symptoms!

Hope everyone recovers in time for the next activity!

the High one

Alright campers, drop some deuces in the comments 🏕️

I wanna see blood, sweat, and tears put into these 🫡

Got to the last round of interviews to be a flight attendant and then they iced me out for hitting my vape on the plane. I tried explaining I needed to chill out to deal with all the stupid people, and its not really that big a deal anyway right?

Whatever. I’m moving on and up to hot air balloons. Who cares if I smoke there, they already blast it with fire??

Butter with pubes.

What should I have for dinner? I’m thinking more ding dongs?

Why do people have such a problem with this?

I shouldn’t, but they just look so….😮‍💨

I know it’s crazy, but what if I like it?

What if he likes it? Life is all about adventure right?

I just don’t know. Somebody talk me out of it.

Or….into? 😏

It said on the memo to spend around $20 on our food item but all these WASP moms brought caviar, truffles, and steak tartar made by their personal chefs! They even brought along their kitchen staff to serve it??

Think a couple of the chefs were talkin shit about me. I don’t speak french but I heard something something “pauvre….hideuse….le CROCS”

Somebody thought my tray of pigs-in-blankey rolls were leftover from the trap team so they threw it in the garbage! I fished em out (don’t worry it was a clean trash bag!) because I spent good money on those weiners and i’m not lettin them go to waste just cuz these snooty housewives don’t enjoy some good comfort food!

Youth sports ain’t what it used to be smh.
Corndog rolls anyone?

bowl of yellow