u/untrustingmyself

For the longest time, I've been hearing from others that I just need to "love myself." That sounded like cliche therapy speak to me. Love myself? What? How can I love myself when I can barely identify myself as a separate person from others? That others perceive me and that I deserve the love I give?

Well, with this mentality I ended up in a string of bad relationships for 7 years. I also accepted disrespect from anyone and everyone. Compromising with little to no effort in return because I thought of myself as less than. Didn't see myself as an individual who also should be considered.

Try talking to yourself kindly for a week. Name the inner critics in your head, and tell them to shut up. It works wonders. My inner critic is called Richard. The people pleaser in me is called Missy Pissy.

Whenever I get a negative thought I say, "Shut up Richard." and whenever I think of compromising my own needs for someone else, I say "Get lost, Missy Pissy."

It sounds ridiculous and I thought that, too. Well, in the time of doing this for 2 weeks, I've left my emotionally abusive and cheating ex I was with for 4 years. I thought I would never leave him.

I'm getting job offers left and right, my skin has cleared, im happier, my life is lighter. Your thoughts shape your reality.

Well, I am starting my single journey. I'm actually quite excited and have already noticed so many benefits.

All my relationships honestly sucked. I was constantly compromising, being over affectionate, and always trying to cater to the other person.

Even if these relationships were hypothetically good instead, I still feel like I am tired of compromising. Tired of not having alone time. Tired of putting my all into a relationship. Tired of always being the clingy and lovey dovey one.

I forgot how peaceful it is to not have to micromanage someone else's emotions. Getting to choose what show I want to watch, or what music I want to play. Not having to beg for someone's time and attention.

I've started giving myself love, time, and attention. I feel so much better giving myself love because at least I know it's authentic, unlike some of the love I've received.

Love is one of the craziest emotions I've ever experienced in my entire life. To love someone fully, see their worst flaws, and still choose them.. I totally had a romanticized version of love in my head since I was a little girl.

How can someone be so absolutely terrible for you and you still miss every part of them? It literally feels similar to drug withdrawal except its just memories of the love playing over and over.

I miss him more than anything in this world even though he cheated on me in the most brutal and cruel way. Its taking me everything not to run back because he is my best friend.

For context, I (22F) have not always been a good friend or person. I have a friend (21F) who has known me since we were 12. I made multiple terrible mistakes in this friendship in my opinion but my biggest one was when I accused her of liking my boyfriend when she didn't. I don't want to make any excuses for myself, I was paranoid and insecure. This was about 2 years ago now.

I ended our friendship in a shitty way and was just an overall shitty friend. I only thought about how I felt in these moments. We reconciled a few months later and I've been trying to be better since.

She was kind enough to forgive me and stay my friend but I obviously knew I permanently damaged the friendship. I can feel resentment from her about it.

Sometimes she will make passive aggressive comments, backhanded remarks, or belittle me. Its very subtle. I just take it because well.. I feel like it's warranted after what I put her through.

She probably permanently sees me as a shitty person but doesn't want to end our friendship with our long history. And who could blame her for seeing me this way? But it's also killing my mental. She's not a confrontational person at all and very much a people pleaser at heart if that helps.

How should I approach this? Should i end the friendship or just confront her? It feels weird to bring this up. I'm still not the best person either so any advice of being less selfish is appreciated.

it hurts so bad. i finally broke up with him. im proud of myself but in so much pain. im already drunk at 2 pm just to not feel the pain. I want to call him so bad and tell him that I changed my mind but I won't. I just wanted it to be him. I know he is a bad person but that was my best friend. We did everything together.

I recently quit my job and had this coworker crush i felt immaculate chemistry with. he is way older though for reference like im 22 and hes in his 40s. he texted me a few days ago saying "sad youre gone. take care". I'm tempted to text something a little daring to see if he would be down. He isn't married either.

Just venting because I have exhausted my support system enough.

I love my boyfriend more than life itself. I want to marry him and be by his side until we grow old. He broke my heart before though and cheated on me. It felt soul crushing.

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We lived together for a year after doing long distance for almost 2 years. I watched him fall in love with someone else while we lived together. Some girl he was friends with a long time ago who came back randomly.

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I saw through it from the start and then I had to sit in our room and cry while they would talk on the phone upstairs. I was thousands of miles away from my family because I moved in with him.

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We got back together because I lack self respect and missed him more than life itself.

I don't know why I did this to myself. If I stayed away from him I would've never gotten attached again. I just wanted my best friend back but my best friend doesn't value me.

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Since we have gotten back together, he hasn't made much effort. My anxiety is still at an all time high. He doesn't even write like little paragraphs about what he loves about me. He just makes no effort and i dont want to ask for effort. Deep down I know he just came back because things didn't work with her.

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I'm ignoring him right now, because I run away from my feelings. I have a lot of growing up to do still and im ready to be single for a long time after what he has done to me.

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I don't want to call him to end it because I will cry to the point of not being able to get a word out, but is it appropriate to only send a text? This is the person I thought I would marry..

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