u/ureyesrcute

Tw: loss of pet/familiar

Last Tuesday, we had to put my dog to sleep. She was incredibly sick and in pain and I know it was the right thing but she was my absolute soul mate in dog form. She was with me for 13.5 years, since she was 5 weeks old. I have cried every day, I miss her so much. This morning when my alarm went off I reached over and hit snooze and it almost felt like something shifted at the foot of my bed (where she usually ended up in the night). I dozed back off and had a really vivid dream of a small white dove. I was sitting outside with friends and suddenly this dove flies up to me and lands on my right shoulder, she pressed her body gently up against my cheek and just kind of nuzzled me a little with the side her body. Then she flew around for a moment and landed back in my lap and just kind of sprawled across my lap and laid flat with her head resting on my leg and her eyes closed.

I've had dreams about people I've lost before, and sometimes it's just random dreams but there are times I can feel the difference that they were actually there with me. And this felt really different than just a regular dream.

Can pets/familiars visit you in dreams like that? I've been laying here for a few minutes thinking about the dream, and I can still feel how soft the feathers were against my cheek.... was it possible that was her? It just never occurred to me that she could do that...

I appreciate honesty, please do not feel obligated to agree that it was her just to make me feel better.. thank you all

Tw: loss of pet/familiar

Last Tuesday, we had to put my dog to sleep. She was incredibly sick and in pain and I know it was the right thing but she was my absolute soul mate in dog form. She was with me for 13.5 years, since she was 5 weeks old. I have cried every day, I miss her so much. This morning when my alarm went off I reached over and hit snooze and it almost felt like something shifted at the foot of my bed (where she usually ended up in the night). I dozed back off and had a really vivid dream of a small white dove. I was sitting outside with friends and suddenly this dove flies up to me and lands on my right shoulder, she pressed her body gently up against my cheek and just kind of nuzzled me a little with the side her body. Then she flew around for a moment and landed back in my lap and just kind of sprawled across my lap and laid flat with her head resting on my leg and her eyes closed.

I've had dreams about people I've lost before, and sometimes it's just random dreams but there are times I can feel the difference that they were actually there with me. And this felt really different than just a regular dream.

Can pets/familiars visit you in dreams like that? I've been laying here for a few minutes thinking about the dream, and I can still feel how soft the feathers were against my cheek.... was it possible that was her? It just never occurred to me that she could do that...

I appreciate honesty, please do not feel obligated to agree that it was her just to make me feel better.. thank you all

I started smoking around 2006. Switched to mostly vaping around 2013 and haven't had a cigarette in like 8 years (prior to that one day in 2018 it was probably 2 years prior to that since I'd smoked and in my defense I came home to find a close friend had died while I was out of town, on my couch, so I feel like the 4 cigarettes I bummed from the neighbors who stood on their porch watching the first responders and investigator people was justified).Anywho.. so earlier this year I was trying to get a job where they actually test for nicotine when they drug test and employees are supposed to be 100% nicotine free (hospital). So i quit mid day when I submitted my application. The first 2 days were ROUGH, and I struggle with bipolar and anxiety, so I feel like it was pretty amplified for me. My husband bought me a 0 nic vape from the store to try and it relieved my cravings almost completely. For me, it seems, the addiction more to the act of vaping than the nicotine itself. I'm also trying to lose a little weight and start living more healthy as I am edging close to 40 and starting to have some weird physical health issues that are concerning. I also have horrible family medical history on both sides and know I'm lucky I even made it this far without chronic health issues - high blood pressure, lung disease early in life, diabetes. I literally only know of one closely related relative who lived past their 50s and it was a great aunt. Like, our genes ain't great.

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So what did you do that helped the most? Just grin and bare it? 0 nic vape for a while then stop? Nicotine patches or w/e? I've never been great with "just use willpower" "just stop and don't think about it" stuff. Making myself do things is pretty damn hard, executive dysfunction and what not.

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But I need to do this. I need to make a change. I need to at least start.

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I appreciate any advice or direction! Thanks

I am in dfw and have a patient heading to Galveston that desperately needs to get some serum tears but I am struggling to find a pharmacy in that area. Anyone have a place they can recommend?

Our office is trying to get set up to use the Penta to assist in selecting ICL based on predicted vault and some other stuff. I am trying to get in touch with the rep because some of the data that should be exporting is not doing so. However no one in my office can figure out what the ac shape ratio is, and Google has been no help.

Any guidance would be greatly appreciated!!

Is my husband's political apathy the breaking point?

We've been together 15 years, and have been through every traumatic hell imaginable. Our daughter died. My untreated bipolar reached a boiling point that has led to repeated hospitalizations, shock treatments, a million different meds and doctors and therapists. I am trying so incredibly hard to take care of myself, to maintain a full time job and raise a daughter and have a support system and do the work to not fall into a hole again. He has gone numb to just about everything through all of it, which I recognize as a trauma response, but I just feel no connection or intimacy from him and I've been begging for years that I needed more. Two weeks ago I hit a breaking point and told him I wanted a divorce and moved into a spare room upstairs. We've talked a lot since then. And he has finally agreed to go to therapy. So I told him that I'm willing to give it some time, but I'm incredibly concerned that we just cannot be what the other person needs anymore. My mental issues and meds make my sex drive basically non existent which of course makes him pull away more. When I talk to him about it, he swears it's not intentional, but honestly I don't know if that's true.

I am very political, and very liberal, and we are from Texas and he works in a construction field and is surrounded by old white dudes talking about politics here or there, and he says he doesn't like listening to them talk about it either, but again, how much do I believe that? A few minutes ago I mentioned the rollback of workplace discrimination protections against people based on "gender, race, etc". He said "ok." and went back to watching TV.

So now I'm laying in my room wondering if I'm insane for feeling like this is too much to come back from. I don't know if he actually has conservative views. Or just actually doesn't care about any of it. He thinks my fear and anxiety about the things happening in this country are an over reaction. But then again, he thinks basically any emotion I have is an over reaction now. I don't think it was always that way, but it's hard to remember at this point.

How much is too much in some areas, and not enough in others, to sustain a relationship? How do I know where to stand firm, where to compromise?

I love him, and I know he loves me. But I don't think he actually likes who I am now. And I worry he is with me out of loyalty, or pity, or bc he likes out dual income lifestyle, or a million other little things that have nothing to actually do with me.

I've lost perspective. I am scared and I feel really alone and I see him making effort over the last couple of weeks to reach out more to me but... I don't know if it's enough for me. And if that makes me selfish. And if I'm just delusional about what a long term relationship actually is supposed to be like.

Yeah Mitchum is the worst. But.

The *only* thing he told her to do in the beginning is to bring a pencil.

Buuutttttt she didn't.

Did that moment doom her?

I know, I'm just being silly but the thought cracked me up