u/venndiagrahm

i can't eat food cooked by anyone unless its cooked by my mom or from a restaurant because it feels unfamiliar. i also have difficulty going to a relative's house if i dont go there regularly. id have to shower myself and decontaminate my things everytime i go home. i cant use utensils that aren't newly bought or mine, so i have to buy my own utensils unless its plastic/wood utensils, or from the restaurant. is it just me?

you can vibe with someone but theyre all either racist n word sayers, homophobic, misogynistic, or make 🍇 jokes. its so rare to find people who arent so immature nowadays

what if i have people who i consider friends but as soon as school ends and summer starts, they dont talk to me anymore? i know the phone works two ways, so i chat first sometimes. however if i dont chat first, they never talk to me. do i really have friends?

whenever theres no water around or anything to wipe off the contamination, wipes somehow save anything and everything. i dont know whats the logic behind it but it just works for literally anything like shoelaces, shirts, skin, i dont know why

hi im 17f and im about to go to college soon. there might be a chance that ill be moving into a school dorm if ever i go to a school faw away from my home. id prefer to be in a dorm because my home life is toxic and i have no safe place there. i have extreme difficulties with bathrooms, even in my own house. it feels as if nothing is ever clean enough unless its a newly built bathroom that nobody has used before. i cant even look at the floor or the walls while showering so i often have to find one clean tile to look at for the rest of the shower, and its hard to use the toilet because i cant sit on it. how do i cope with having a bathroom that isnt brand new? on top of that, i also grew up only using our family car to travel and get to places, so public transportation isnt exactly something that i can handle. it would be hard for me to sit down or even be in a public vehicle because of how disgusted i am with the germs, plus i was also diagnosed with social anxiety which affects the way i converse with people. for more info, i live in the philippines wherein jeepneys, tricycles, and buses are commonly known as the usual public transportation. our trains here dont really work, which makes communication crucial for public transportation. im worried i might not be able to make it in life because of how my ocd and my anxiety disables me so much. any advice?

hello im 17f im currently looking for a job that i can do, preferably online. i cant work at a fastfood chain because i have contamination ocd and its hard for me to even touch anything outside, and nobody is buying my art commissions. is there any possible way to earn money thru gcash, or should i wait until im 18?

The things I've listed down below are things that my parents have done, does anybody else relate?

(TRIGGER WARNING: SA mention)

present experiences:

1. talking like im not in the same room with them ("she's always like that", "ignore her, she's mad at us", "i don't think _name_ wants to talk to us")

2. dad repeating things over and over again if he doesnt feel heard (saying "NO, NO, NO ,NO ,NO" again and again while i was trying to explain myself to him)

3. calling us names that you shouldn't call your children ("you're so entitled", "i can't believe you're so dumb and stupid", "you're such a pig")

4. when i ask if dad is mad, he gets passive aggressive and says "you think i talk like that when im mad?" in an angry tone

5. mom saying shes had it worse than me in her childhood when i told her how my grandma(her mom) SA'd me

6. my dad has a certain scary face that doesnt look normal when hes mad (eyes bulging out with a certain scary stare)

7. my mom whines about wanting to divorce our dad when they fight and comes crying to us, but when our dad is being verbally abusive to us, she sides with him and says nothing to help us (enabling his actions)

8. they usually treat me like a kid but then suddenly treats me like an adult when it benefits them (knowing my contamination ocd disables me and i cant shower or get my food without help, but my parents go to sleep anyway)

9. they dont allow me to lock my door

10. talking over me when im clearly talking

11. dropping hints ("if you didn't want to smile in the picture, then i shouldn't have taken it anyway", "_name_ is so quiet, she's like a robot")

12. embarrassed me by yelling at me inside a restaurant (it was because i had no appetite to eat, despite explaining it was my ocd they still got mad at me)

13. mom enables dads verbal abusiveness and stays quiet as we get verbally/physically abused

14. saying "no, i cant hear anything" when im trying to talk to him while he's mad

15. dad accusing me of having an angry tone despite me talking in my normal tone

16. parents accusing me of glaring when im clearly not

17. dad blaming me for being disrespectful while im not able to financially support myself (i wasnt being disrespectful, i was just replying to him because we were conversating. its his responsibility to financially support me because im his child + im a minor)

past experiences:

1. dad threatened to give my dog away when he was mad at her

2. dad used to hit my dog

3. dad used to put a lot of food on our plate when we misbehave and now gets mad when we have trouble with food because of the trauma he inflicted

4. i told them about my grandma from my moms side sexually abusing me and they didnt do anything about it, they still let my grandma go to our family events

5. mom not being accepting when i came out as trans and telling me not to joke about it, despite her being accepting to my gay uncle

6. i sleep naked because its hot and they just unlock my door without permission

7. dad used to hit me and drag me on the floor