u/wayjanes

UPDATE:
He returned (after 18 hours outside)! I am overjoyed <3 We got him back by keeping the backyard door open, with wet food and litter box nearby (a commenter said it’s not wise using the litter box, so it might not work for you! do your own research). My sister sat by the door keeping watch all night and morning. Four times, he’d come to eat, but scurry away. He eventually braved inside when I took my shift by the door, and he saw me on the floor. :)

The poor little bug was terrified, but he’s safe inside. Thank you for all the advice!

Original post:

I adopted a cat six weeks ago. He’s a strictly indoor cat, as he has anxiety. My family is cat sitting him, and I told them SO many times that he couldn’t go outside, and that they needed to be careful with the doors and windows.

I was with my family when it happened (I wanted to make the transition for cat sitting easier on him). He was doing splendidly: I haven’t seen him this happy and confident since I got him!

The cat is missing. We are pretty sure he got out.

If he did, it happened when my brother was running in and out the door. I trusted him. I thought he had control that the cat wasn’t following him, so I didn’t follow him to make sure he was keeping tabs on the cat.

I feel terrible. I feel like I let him down by trusting them with him. :( I knew my brother was absent minded, but I trusted he had control. And I feel like I’m not allowed to be mad at my brother, because he’s 15 and I’m an adult, and it’s not like he did it on purpose.

I am crying. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to move. I just want to sit outside and hope he can somehow sense my presence and come back to me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with myself if he is gone forever :(

Krokstadelva i Drammen kommune

Especially when eternity is spent experiencing the last minutes of your life on repeat.

I can sense it in my body. I get a lot more anxious than I usually do. I’m constantly feeling guilty over big and small things. I constantly break my own heart. :( It just sucks.

I think my recent trigger is that I’ve been through a very stressful year, and that I recently adopted a cat, so now my ocd is manifesting in how I look after my cat

I adopted a sweet, traumatised cat a month ago. He is terrified of humans (particularly noises and movements. I can’t even shift my weight on the couch without him running). I adopted him from the people who rescued him from his (very likely abusive) first home. His rescuers are wonderful, and had two other cats and dogs, but due to his trauma, he didn’t thrive on their homestead/farm as it was too busy. They therefore wanted to place him with someone who lived alone and had an apartment, so that he didn’t have to deal with a lot of extra stimuli.

He is, however, very social. He grew up in a colony (owner had 15!!! cats), and I think he misses having cats around. He meows all the time.

I recently brought him with me to my family’s place as I’m house/cat-sitting, and he tries So Hard to be friends with my family’s cats, but they reject him (they don’t attack or have “airplane airs”, they just avoid him/meows when he gets too close). It’s only been a few days, but I feel so sad for him for not making friends. And I feel like I failed at the integration process. :( (this might also just be me projecting my childhood experiences of loneliness onto him lol)

I keep wondering if I’m the wrong owner for him. He’s so sweet and I LOVE him, but i cry thinking about having taken him from his cat family. I can only have one cat where I live rn, so I can’t give him a sibling. :( I’m also his only owner, and I do work full-time, so I am away from him a few hours every week.

He is otherwise doing as well as can be expected. He’s not stressed, just scared whenever I make any noise or movement. He loves to cuddle, and loves to play with me, and he is an absolute darling.

Does anyone have any advice? (Both with how scared he is, and with how lonely he might be). I genuinely feel so much sadness because I only want him to be happy and feel loved. Should I return him to his rescuers? Or do you think he’ll feel peacem with me? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Hei

Jeg har en lillebror (ungdomsskoleelev) som har litt småproblemer med omgivelsene. Han ble nylig tatt for å stjele alkohol på en nærbutikk, og har en del problemer med adferd på skolen. Familien min sliter med å komme gjennom til han. Er det noen offentlige apparat man kan henvende seg til for hjelp i slike situasjoner?

Jeg er åpne for råd om hvordan håndtere situasjonen ellers. Han sliter med å bli irettesatt eller å høre vanskelige ting. Da låser han seg sammen og stenger alle ute. Eller så blir han sint. Han stenger seg inne på rommet. Foreldrene mine er veldig «hands off» med han, fordi det er vanskelig. Hvordan bør man håndtere dette?

Jeg er åpen for innspill for hva jeg som storesøster kan gjøre. Jeg er veldig annerledes fra han (veldig «flink pike» som aldri brøt reglene, aldri var på fest, osv.) og vet ikke hvordan jeg skal snakke med han. Jeg er redd han prøver å skille seg fra meg slik at han ikke faller i min «skygge» (lærerne bee han ofte om å være mer som meg). Jeg er også et tiår eldre han og bor ikke hjemme, og har ikke bodd hjemme på en god del år. Jeg føler derfor det er litt distanse mellom meg og han på den fronten også.

I’m looking for some advice.

My brother (15) got caught stealing alcohol at a store. I’m at a loss on how to deal with this.

My parents are “hands-off” when it comes to him, and mostly lets him do what he wants. He shuts down whenever anyone tries to talk with him about difficult things, so my parents give up on it. He is grounded for this incident, though.

What advice do I give my parents on how to deal with him? Or what can I do? (I’m 25 and live in a city close by).

We live in the Nordics, so I’d be grateful for advice specific to Nordic culture.

Does anyone have any good horror recs with doppelgängers in them?