u/weightlesswings_

I started pole recently and today I couldn’t do a single trick in class. Everyone else seemed to get it while I was the only one really struggling. I honestly left feeling embarrassed and stupid.

I’ve also got my period at the moment and felt super weak and low energy the whole class. I don’t have any dance, gymnastics or fitness background either, so I feel like I’m starting from absolute zero while everyone else already seems stronger or more coordinated.

Did anyone else feel like this at the start? I’m trying not to quit after one hard class because I really do want to get better, but tonight knocked my confidence a lot. Would really appreciate some encouragement or hearing beginner experiences from people who improved over time.

I feel I can’t even do a pole sit, I can’t get high enough and I’m quite low to the ground and it absolutely kills my thighs. The way they call the combos just doesn’t click in my mind.

I just want to get better and feel so discouraged.

EDIT: thanks guys, I got home and went to sleep feeling really crapping. I have endo too so it was just a really shitty day of pain and feeling weak (possibly just being moody from my period too 😝). Thanks for all the kind messages. It was my third class and I’m going to keep it up, even if I’m in beginners for a few terms!

I’m almost 33 and feel like I’ve completely blown up my life.

My long term relationship ended and I’ve had to move two hours away back to my mum’s house because I can’t afford to pay half a mortgage and rent at the same time while we prepare the house for sale. Packing up my entire life into tubs and leaving the home I thought I’d stay in long term has honestly been devastating.

What makes it harder is that I didn’t actually want to leave the house. I would have preferred to buy my ex out, but realistically I don’t think I can service the mortgage alone comfortably, especially with everything increasing in cost. So instead I’ve had to walk away from the life I built.

I also had to leave a job I genuinely loved because of the move. I’m starting a new role tomorrow and I know objectively it’s a good opportunity, but emotionally I feel exhausted. I feel like I’ve lost my relationship, my home, my routine, my independence, my career identity, all at once.

Meanwhile my ex already has a new girlfriend and seems completely fine, which makes me feel even more replaceable somehow.

I know logically people rebuild after breakups and divorce every day, but I genuinely feel embarrassed to be almost 33 and moving back home. I spent years building a life and now I’m surrounded by storage tubs in my childhood environment trying to convince myself this isn’t permanent.

I’ve been trying to do positive things for myself like PT, boxing and pole classes and focusing on my health, but some days I feel hopeful and other days I feel like I’ve failed at adulthood.

I think I just want to hear from women over 30 who had to completely start over unexpectedly. Did life eventually feel stable again? Did you end up happier than the life you thought you wanted?