u/whatsagirltodo123

I soaked it in with my first. I couldn’t understand people who hated the newborn bubble! Turns out he was just an easy baby. And people with easy babies could not be having a more different postpartum/newborn experience.

Every day over the past couple of weeks with my second (5 weeks tomorrow) has been harder than the hardest day with my first.

This one will stay awake for hours. He clearly gets overtired but nothing we do gets him to nap. Eventually he just passes out after fighting us and crying/fussing for hours. He won’t really take a pacifier. He hates babywearing. If he is not asleep or eating, he is probably fussing. I guess the good thing is that he’s hungry all the time, so he’s eating a lot. It goes without saying that I have to hold him for all naps (if he naps), but I was prepared for that.

The assumption is always that it is reflux but I really don’t think it is. He doesn’t really have any of the signs. I actually think he just hates being a baby.

With my first, I was all 🥰soak it in 🥰 we’re gonna look back and miss this 🥰 (when the hardest part of his newborn phase was that he needed to be held for naps like 90% of newborns) but I can guarantee I will not miss this phase with this one. It honestly makes me feel sad and guilty that I am just trying to survive each day and make it through after looking back fondly on the phase with my first. This is just tough.

This is my second baby, and he is proving near impossible to get to sleep during the day. Rocking, swaying, walking, going outside, singing, white noise, dark room…any combination of tricks, it doesn’t matter. This boy hates falling asleep. Sometimes he’ll start to drift off then he stops himself. The only sure-fire way to get him to nap is to put him on the boob. He hates all the pacifiers we’ve tried.

We were pretty strong headed about not feeding to sleep with our first but that is not really proving to be an option with this one. He will legit be up for 4-5 hours sometimes and he is only a month old. We often resort to the boob after an hour or two of other techniques have proven fruitless.

(Thankfully, he seems to have his nights straight and my husband can put him down at night, but not during the day.)

Any experience with this? Tips? Do we just need to let him use the boob to nap for now and hope he outgrows it before he goes to daycare in 2 months? Lol

I didn’t know what flair to give this one.

I’m ~2 weeks into my second maternity leave. For some reason, I thought I’d be better at embracing the slow pace of leave the second time around, but it would appear that’s not the case. I feel just as stir crazy, unproductive, and useless as I did the first time. I’m in Texas so getting outside for a walk isn’t super feasible given the heat.

I am a highly productive/routine oriented person. I also really value sleep, which obviously during the newborn phase, I have to be flexible with to get my 8 hours and that eats into some of the day.

I made myself lay low for 2 weeks to ensure I had adequate time to heal, but now that I’ve hit that mark, I’d like to get some semblance of a routine and productivity back.

For anybody who feels similarly on leave, any tips?

Mostly just looking for solace or wondering if this is a normal feeling.

I’m a week postpartum with our second baby. He’s perfect and I feel just as connected to him as a newborn as I did with my first. But I still can’t help but feel a grief over the time my husband and I had with just our first born and that the time is now over. It’ll never just be us 3 again.

Did anybody else feel this way when they brought home a sibling?

I am surprised by the sadness over this fact because we have always wanted a big family. I am sure I will adjust and won’t ever be able to imagine a time without our second either but right now I feel sad for the end of that chapter (while also feeling so full and happy about our second — idk postpartum hormones are really something haha).

I have been reading this sub up and down over the last 72 hours as I realized I was likely headed toward an induction for my attempted VBAC, and feeling so discouraged about that fact. Many of the stories here helped give me the courage to try, even when I seriously felt so defeated, so I wanted to come relay my story back for people perusing this sub for the same.

I had a c-section at 35 weeks with my first because he was breech and my water broke. Through my c-section, we discovered I had a uterine septum, making my uterus smaller and forcing my baby breech, so that’s why my water broke prematurely. I went on to get the septum removed in hopes that it would prevent future pre term babies and allow for vaginal deliveries.

So I was realllly hopeful for a VBAC. I want 4 kids, and I know my chances of that are higher if I avoided repeat c-sections. And honestly the recovery from the c-section was just very tough, and I really didn’t want to not be able to hold my toddler for weeks after having a baby while he’s already adjusting to so much change.

Though I now realize my practice is a bit more conservative on their VBAC induction protocols, my doctor was supportive of a VBAC, and emphasized the best chance was spontaneous labor.

Well, that all went to shit when my blood pressure started spiking at 39 weeks. Long story short, I ended up needing to be induced suddenly because of concerns around approaching preeclampsia.

I went to labor and delivery at 7 PM and the induction process started at 11:30 PM with a foley balloon being placed. I was a little under 1 cm dilated when they placed the balloon, soft, and my cervix was very posterior. The dr had to literally pull my cervix toward her to allow the insertion. You’ll find mixed reviews on the pain to insert this thing and I’d say the pain was about a 7/10. I think it would have been much less painful if she didn’t have to physically move my cervix. The dr had asked if I wanted an epidural or pain meds beforehand because she said it is very painful for some but I wanted to hold off. She mentioned I must have a high pain tolerance because a lot of people can’t tolerate what she just had to do. Nonetheless, it was fairly quick, and once it was inserted, it wasn’t painful.

They started me on low dose pitocin (4 units) around 1:30 AM as well. I rested, maybe slept a little, had some contractions every 15 minutes or so, but they were totally manageable. At 9 AM, the doctor came to remove the balloon and I was at 3 cm and 80% effaced.

The discouraging part is that the doctor on call was one of the main doctors my doctor did not want me to get induced with as she thought I’d be the most likely to end up in a repeat c-section with him, but the sudden blood pressure spike didn’t leave much of a choice. He was an older man and based on our first interaction, it was clear he was old school and not particularly keen on VBACs so I had to push back a lot. I was also texting a friend that is an OB and learned her practice will administer up to 20 units pitocin for a VBAC patient whereas mine was saying the max he would do is 4. Basically my only remaining option was to break my water and I just felt discouraged and didn’t like fighting with the doctor.

From 9 AM - 1 PM I basically just cried about the stress of the situation. I couldn’t eat so I was hungry and I didn’t sleep so I was tired. And I missed my son and just wanted to go home. But obviously not an option hahaha.

I will say the doctor realized he had rubbed me the wrong way and he came in and said he really did want to support me in a vaginal delivery, but he has seen a lot in his 40 years, so he just wanted to take all precautions. He said if he were me, he would not give up on a vaginal delivery and encouraged me to try. He also said he could tell I was not comfortable with him, so he called my doctor to come talk to me. Around 1:30, my actual doctor came in and gave me a pep talk and broke my water, and they restarted pitocin at 2 units. I decided to get up and moving while I still could. Walked and bounced on the ball for a couple hours. By 2:45, contractions were 5 minutes apart and by 3:45, they were 3 minutes apart and incredibly painful and I decided to get the epidural.

Something was off with my epidural because it would work for about 30-45 minutes then I’d be feeling kind of a lot again and kept asking for either another dose or to reassess the amount. We were troubleshooting kind of the whole time and I was going through waves of a lot of pain.

By 6:20, I was dilated to a 5, so at 6:45 the doctor came in and said he’d up to his max for VBACs (the 4 units), and he’d like to check me again at 9 in hopes I’d progressed another cm or 2.

I told my husband to go pick up some dinner and I was going to try to take a nap. Lo and behold, at 7 pm, I felt the epidural had totally stopped working and I was experiencing excruciating 10/10 pain with contractions. I was begging for an anesthesiologist to give me literally anything to make it better.

A new nurse had just started her shift and around 7:20, after I was screaming for mercy from God, she asked if she could just check me real quick. I told her I was only at a 5 an hour ago and the doctor wanted to check at 9. She asked if she could just make sure.

Sure enough, she took one look and said well this explains your pain, you’re at a 10 and baby is ready to get out, it’s time to push. I was genuinely in shock.

I started pushing at 7:36, probably did 4 rounds of pushes, and he was born at 7:55.

He was in distress with his heart rate dropping so on one round of pushes, the doctor used forceps (again, old school guy) to help get him out more quickly. I actually hadn’t even considered forceps because it is so rare now, but in the moment, I just wanted whatever was safest for my son, and it sounded like that was it. Dr also gave me an episiotomy to aide in the forcep usage, but it was only a 2nd degree which I feel most women get on first delivery anyways so whatever. Turns out the distress was likely because he came out with his arm beside his face. Baby is safe, I am safe, and I had a successful VBAC when I thought all odds were against me 😭

Wishing all the VBAC-hopeful moms luck, and know it’s possible even if you end up in an induction scenario.

This is my second pregnancy, and I did not experience this shit with my first. All day, I’m battling my hands falling asleep. At night, I sleep with carpal tunnel braces, which help, but don’t completely eliminate the problem. The other night I woke up with my right hand feeling absolutely DOUSED in Icy Hot and I could not get it back to normal I was crying and losing my mind and probably behaving like a wild animal. I’m 34.5 weeks and this started about 2 weeks ago. Today, my OB told me it could persist for even a week or two after birth and will probably only get worse until I give birth 😀😀😀😀😀

3rd trimester is hell I swear the pregnancy wizard pulls new symptoms out their ass every day because what do you mean the baby in my BELLY makes my hands tingly and numb 😭

Anyways. I just wanted to complain