u/whoisorange

We’re both 37 and I just don’t know if this is on me or not.

I love her to bits, been friends for 25 years! But essentially she is the most defensive person I’ve ever met and having a disagreement with her is very unpleasant.

She has recently been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum (in our days it would have been called ‘Asperger’s’) which has been so great for her and she’s happy to finally understand herself more!

That being said, she’s not very nice to speak with if you disagree with her and she can’t really control her anger when she’s riled up (not a tantrum or anything, and no yelling, just a really rude tone.) She has had more than one long-term boyfriend straight up ghost her, which is so horrible and has been fired from jobs because of her ‘attitude’…

We’re messaging right now and because it’s over text there was obviously a misunderstanding and now she’s being really bitchy to me over the stupidest thing.

So yeah, my question is: do I need to tell her honestly that the reason she has these issues is because she talks so poorly to people?? Or do I save myself the drama and let her do her??

I’m a clerk 12 and have an interview for a clerk 15 role next week. I have advised them I’m a BC public service employee but no one has asked my level yet… this is obviously not a lateral move, so am I just waiting for this to fall apart or could I potentially get the job? I haven’t heard updates regarding lateral-only moves in a while.

I’m a Library Tech so a big part of my job is searching for journal articles and publications, obviously.

In a meeting today a man told me he has an AI algorithm for searching publications and then asked me ‘so how are you able to find things the AI can’t?’ I was a little taken aback but I comically put my finger to my temple and just said ’because I’m smarter than AI, I want to school for this….’ and kind of laughed it off. It was really awkward, but a few people laughed and someone told me it was the right answer. (I don’t actually think I’m ‘smarter’ thank AI, but there will always be benefits to working with humans over AI!)

I work for a provincial government and they are pushing AI so hard on us - please note I work with the *environmental* ministry and the higher ups are still pushing it.

I don’t use AI at work because I am easily able to do my job without it, and I’m not going to train it to do the job for me (too late for this obviously, but at least I didn‘t contribute to it!)

I’ve (37f) recently started working as a coordinator for small markets (vendors sell things like used books, art, jewelry, etc.) and this past weekend I would say *half* of all vendors had their moms with them - from beginning to end - setup to take down.

How do you do it mamas?? They say your job goes until the kids turn 18?! I don’t think so. All of our vendors are grown adults obviously, living their dreams, and are lucky enough to have their supportive moms right there with them (usually doing unpaid manual labour in the background!)

This just really warms my heart as a woman with a toxic mom who could never function enough to support *me* instead of me having to support *her*

If you’re one of these mamas, or aspire to be, I celebrate you!!!

(Also I’m 37 and child-free and I get tired just watching some of these older ladies work their butts off all weekend knowing their weeks are also likely full!)

I feel like in the year 2026 it’s bonkers that companies send men out to ring on peoples’ doors in the middle of the day and expect women to answer when we are home alone. I feel like I’m on crazy pills because my husband kind of makes fun of me for never answering the door, but for me (a lot of us) the thought of being attacked is so horrible, and still so possible, so why would I ever willingly put myself in a situation where I am alone with a strange man? And in my place of sanctuary and safety?? No thanks.

ALSO I recently relented when someone was very persistent at my door and just opened the livingroom window to ask what he wanted, and after saying ’no thanks’ *three* times he continued to tell me exactly how they would get rid of the pests I already told him we didn’t have. So fuck these people anyway. Can’t read a ’no soliciting’ sign?!

edit: for the record I do check to see who is knocking, that’s how I know it’s almost always a man! I look out the window and if I see a man in a vest, with a clipboard or a couple dudes in matching shirts, that’s simply a no for me.

We were discussing the movie Obsession (spoilers below), and I told him I had to listen to a podcast about it first because I knew there was rape involved and I needed to know more before I could watch it. He then told me there wasn’t a single rape scene in the entire movie…

This is the deal with the movie if you’re unaware:

>!A woman is possessed by someone/something, but she is also still in her own body, along for the ride. The movie then shows many sex scenes between this possessed woman and a man we already knew she wasn’t interested in! Sometimes the woman comes out and you can see she’s clearly suffering immensely being trapped in there. It’s also shown at one point that the guy kind of understands what’s happening but he still has sex with her (with her body that is.) !<

I feel pretty icky from the convo, but he didn’t argue with me and listened and in the end said he said he understands that if that’s your trigger this movie would be hard to watch. So maybe he learned something new today?

edit: those saying he didn’t actually learn anything are sadly probably correct… this is the same guy who says trans women aren’t women because they can’t have a baby (I’ll never have a baby, does that mean I’m not a woman??) and still gets pissed off about a black girl playing Ariel (a mythological creature…. mermaids can’t be black, says science??) I love him, but I don’t like him one bit.

I (37f) grew up in an abusive household with my mother being the main perpetrator. Mother’s Day SUCKS for me. It’s also only a week after my mom’s birthday and she always demanded they be 2 separate days with separate presents and all. (May I add she also thinks our birthdays should be about her since she birthed us.)

It’s just an obligation for me and now I’m learning that trying to please a narcissist is next to impossible.

I also find it can be so performative; I don’t have social media anymore, but when I did I always stayed off it on Mother’s Day. Like there’s no way you ALL like your moms. Right??

I do want to say thank you and happy day to the mothers who are breaking their own cycles of abuse though!!!! You deserve today.