u/wienerdog362

So basically I like writing music. I’ve always had a knack for Melodies and writing catchy or emotional stuff. My dream was to add lyrics to all my songs and just make a band. I’ve been trying this for over 6-7 years, to learn how to sing well, write good lyrics etc but it’s just so damn hard and I often run into problems with my voice and throat and my lyrics just aren’t getting much better either. I feel like I’m probably trying too hard or something and sometimes I just think oh how nice it would be to just focus on composing the music and do just that.
So right now I’m in one of those phases and I’m wondering what would actually be a viable path to take just writing music?
I mean the obvious would be finding someone to set lyrics to my Melodie’s and let them sing but I haven’t come across anyone where this has seemed “obvious”.
Being in an instrumental band feels kinda “wrong”, I’m a big fan of vocals and good lyrics in songs.
I guess the other obvious routes would be scoring soundtracks or fiverr or something.
My production skills are low, enough to make a crappy demo but nowhere near anything else.
Productions just never been interesting to me.

I just saw a reel of a woman being drunk in a banana costume exposing her legs and ass dancing at a swimming pool and i just got sick to my stomach. i wrote it down and started crying a bit too. i dont know why i feel this way.

i have no sexual trauma in my life except that i found porn at a very young age. i masturbated a lot to pornography all my life never viewing it as wrong. around 4 years ago at 30 i realised something about it bothered me and i felt shame and guilt like i was doing something wrong. Nobody had instilled this thought in me though. and i complety stopped viewing porn or anything related since then for 4 or so years.. i had tried to stop several times before but it never worked.

what did work was asking myself why i felt guilt and shame and coming to the realisation that by watching porn i was indirectly exploiting the people participating. This was the thought and logic that hit me; i assumed that the majority of people doing porn and posting it online in their 20s and 30s, amateur or professional, whatever, regret it later on in their life, maybe not even necessarily the act itself but just having the evidence or videos online. bottom line, that they'd rather not have it publicised in hindsight.

"knowing"/assuming this made me realise me still viewing these videos and using them for my own pleasure was indirectly exploiting this regret. of course im not the person uploading them but im still going ahead viewing these people doing something that the majority in hindsight wish no-one would see them do. i felt like i was exploiting their bad decisions for my own momentary pleasure.

anyway this has made me had no desire to watch porn since i stopped. of course i still get excited if i see a hot woman in real life and i can get horny as fuck when i have a girlfriend. theres no shame or guilt at all around that because its in private and just my thoughts.

im not sure if this whole porn thing relates to my initial disgust around promiscuity... but when i see women or men or hear being publicly promiscuous or heavy flaunting i can get stick to my stomach. can anyone relate or does anyone have any ideas why this is happening?

my mother was never promiscuous and has had 4 or 5 partners in her life. my dad has been with a lot of women in his "hippie days". after being with my mother for 10 years he left my mom for a woman and then married another women and has been with her since, but i never felt this sickening feeling about them as far as i can remember...

So I wrote this song I really like and that flows together great but verse and chorus Melodie’s are on each different sides of the register. The verse melody goes all the way down to a G2 which is very very low for me like I can’t barely produce the sound and the chorus Melody goes all the way up to a D and E4. I’m no great singer at all, I love to sing and I warm up for 30min with a great warm up routine before every open mic I play but just practicing this song hurts my throat. It’s too bad cause i reqlly love it.
What can I do? If I move it higher it gets too high and if I move it lower it gets too low. I don’t really like singing in falsetto….

Haha I guess the answer is to write about that. Just solved my own problem, but if anyone has good advice to get clarity let me know