u/xylaverse

Sorry if the title is dramatic, but I think it genuinely represents my feelings

Since elementary school I was bullied relentlessly for being different. I gave people a "weird" vibe and was like just always socially outcasted. As much as I tried to ignore it, bro being bullied consumed me all I could ever think about was the ways I could change myself to be more normal.

And when I found JFashion, everything changed.

The fashion style I was into was jirai kei, which prioritizes effort over anything like most other jfashion styles. Being part of a community of other people with mental health issues was a big part of why I felt so much happier, but also I genuinely had the urge to wake up extra early every day to do a full face of makeup, style my hair, pick an outfit just to go scroll through buyee and Liz Lisa all throughout the day lol

It was really nice to not have to decipher like 50 different layers of unspoken rules just to get into the community lol! Eventually I just stopped giving a shit about normies and what they thought, I didn't care about being made fun of because I wasn't trying to fit in with them like at all. It was nice to look in a mirror and finally be able to like what I saw :).

Jirai Kei genuinely became my armour against the world, the last time I remember experiencing genuine joy was when I wore it 🥹

"Be Natural" and "Automatic" by red velvet as well as noth kikuohana album particularly red riding hood kikuohana ver and "オオカミ男" kikuohanatan ! I really like rn with pop elements if that makes sense !? Like I want to feel the emotion of it idk

Preferably female or feminine voice

I need a blush, bronzer and concealer for that sunkissed look and a long lasting setting spray and powder! I have dark skin btw

I spent like a year and half only talking about Jirai kei(a Japanese fashion style) scrolling through either Jirai twt reddit or TikTok or lolcow no other intrst just Jirai kei I memorized the history of it down to the date and area it was created I stalked the trends did the makeup everyday shopped for Jirai kei even if I couldn't but it yet and like collect what I wanted to buy in a doc for when I could sfford it I spent all of my money on Jirai kei then when Trump announced his tarrifs on Japanese goods I dropped it because it would be too expensive and so I sold all my clothes and deleted my twitter account for the fashion

I don't wanna larp being ND if I'm not so plz lmk if this is normal then I'll go back to main reddit lol

Idk why but she really has kept my hair in braids all my life or natural twist/braids anything but my afro which is weird because we have the same hair type I took down my braids recently she asked to see my hair and audibly gasped when I showed her my afro :/ she's constantly telling me not to go out like that