u/zippobunny

Every time I post there it gets immediately removed no matter what the content of the post is. I'm desperate for help.

Our story starts with my doctor wanting me to do a fiber regimen for existing chronic constipation. It instantly destroyed me. After three days of taking fiber I was so plugged up, it was the worst constipation of my entire life. And it's now been 8 days since then. However this feels different because there is seemingly nothing in my colon/large intestine at all. Usually when I'm constipated I can feel it by pressing on my belly, in this case my whole belly is soft and there is no palpable stool at all. No stool is digitally found in the rectum either. I don't have a true blockage because I am not in severe pain and have my usual pattern of extreme gas (so my guts are constantly moving and I'm farting a ton, but zero stool) but there's SOMETHING wrong that's unusual.

What has been tried:

-Chugging crazy amount of water (results in crazy amounts of peeing and nothing else)

- Watermelon and miralax smoothies

-Two water enemas, held 3x longer than the recommended time.

-One fleet enema

-Bunch of silly stuff like drinking cooking oil, listening to the Brown Note, standing on a vibration plate for 15 minutes, etc.

-And most recently, taking 4 MiraFast chews yesterday. No results at all.

Been avoiding all constipating foods like dairy and bananas. My diet right now is pretty much all fruit because of this, I don't want to eat much. EDIT: What I mean by this is that I am purposely not eating since nothing is coming out and I don't want to pack my body so full of food that it becomes a problem. i still have a VORACIOUS appetite and I actually can't sleep because of how hungry I am right now, but I will only let myself eat after I successfully poop.

I want to do magnesium citrate or something equally nuclear, but I'm concerned that if I turn things too liquid it will just go around the existing stool and not actually fix the constipation. I am seriously desperate for help, none of this has ever happened to me before and I'm scared.

Edit: answers to questions 1-6 from the diagnostic guide.

1. Not really. I have strange anatomy so I don't feel the traditional urge ever, but lately I have not even been experiencing my own personal tells that I need to go.
2. Just constipation, never diarrhea ever.
3. No.
4. Had chronic constipation my entire life. Not this acute though.
5. No.
6. No.

I hope this makes sense. Basically it was explained to me recently that most (neurotypical) people's belief systems (politics etc.) are meant to paint the demographics they fall into personally, as the superior demographic or at least the one worthy of the most rights. I'm not like that at all, my opinions are based in what I consider correct objectively, NOT what I personally want, which makes perfect sense to me. I am not thinking about what would be nice for myself as one individual, I'm thinking about what would benefit larger society. But neurotypical people do not understand this at all. I don't fully know if this has to do with the fact that I'm autistic, but autism definitely does contribute to me thinking out of the box so maybe it does.

I'm not going to get into the actual beliefs because this is not the place but I'll say something like "I just don't think x type of person should be able to y" and people will be like "You know YOU'RE x type of person, and you benefit from y/have always wanted to y" thinking it's some kind of "gotcha". And yes, I am and I have, but that doesn't change my belief that it would be wrong to allow me or others like me to have that.

Note: I do not have OCD or any psychotic disorder. (But I do have autism). I'm just looking for more insight on how these things differ to the professional eye and what observed traits determine which one someone would be diagnosed with.

From what I know as a layperson so far (feel free to correct any of this): everyone gets intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts, but intrusive thoughts become an issue (OCD) when they are excessive and cause fear in the patient. Intrusive thoughts are different from impulsive thoughts because intrusive thoughts are always ego dystonic whereas impulsive thoughts may not always be (people also say intrusive thoughts are about violent and dangerous things and impulsive thoughts aren't, but I believe impulsive thoughts can be about violence and dangerous things too). Intrusive thoughts are NEVER acted on, but impulsive thoughts may be. NOT everyone gets command hallucinations and they are specific to certain types of psychotic disorders. They directly tell someone to do something and it can be ego dystonic or not.

How would a therapist or psychiatrist tell the difference between these from just patient description/observing of patient, and decide the course of treatment? Since I would imagine all three are treated very differently to each other. Thanks for reading and if anyone has any insight.

I can't post in the main constipation sub for some reason, since it demands I add a flair, but there are no options for flairs (and NO OTHER POST in the sub has any flairs) so it just gets taken down instantly. So I'm here.

I'm being told to start a Metamucil regimen immediately due to an issue. But I have not started yet, I am afraid to, I am mostly afraid of the idea of not having to push. I feel like being "constipated" is what keeps me functional. It seems like from what I'm reading, with fiber, you defecate a lot more often and it's immediate, like if you don't get to a toilet in that instant it just comes out, and it's very very messy. Whereas for me currently, I choose when I go, if I can't get to a toilet, I can wait, and it is never messy. I'm afraid that I will become completely housebound because of frequent urgent stools and cleanup from them, and maybe even that I won't be able to feel stool leaving my body at all. And I am supposed to take this for the rest of my life. Like, will I ever be able to trust a fart again in my entire life?

Can anyone just tell me this might not be the case? Does anyone use Metamucil/fiber and not develop fecal incontinence from it?

This has been the hardest thing for me to swallow for my whole life and as it gets clearer and clearer I think it is eventually settling in.

All my life I've wanted to get out of this disgusting town I live in, road trip across the USA and settle somewhere in the South, living out of a car until I can build up from the ground. I've wanted to do this since I was a kid. I started saving money the moment I graduated high school. But shit hit the fan when I got diagnosed with a disability that apparently means I don't have agency, so I got court ordered to live in a care facility, lost my driver's license and everything else I had. I understand this is weird and doesn't happen to most people. I don't know why it happened to me. There is nothing I can do about it and believe me, I've tried all possible ways. I've been to court so many times.

But through all that I have kept this yearning fantasy that I could escape one day, get to a different town fast enough to have their police protect me from the inevitable manhunt, and then I could be free. I kept preparing for when this day would eventually come, but the constant yearning to get out was causing me so much mental pain constantly.

As I'm here longer I am losing hope but I think this is a good thing, because it's leading to acceptance. The most recent thing is getting my money taken away.

Let it be known I am very, very, very against disability payments. I do not support any handouts. But guess what I'm also being court ordered to have now? Which means I no longer have access to any of my saved money or else "they'll take my benefits away" (even though that's what I want). I think losing access to my money is the kicker that's finally going to get me to accept this. I fundamentally cannot leave. The town is keeping me as a captive by taking away my personal money I could use to leave it, and creating a forced dependence on them by giving me money because I live here.

I am the only person living here who doesn't love it and think it's the greatest privilege, some of these people have been here 40 years, which must mean I'm doing something wrong. Not society. ME.

I will never see outside of this state. I will never road trip across the country. I will never own a car. I will never meet a husband. I will never start a family. I will sit on this couch and watch TV for the next 60 years. And I am slowly accepting that... maybe that is okay. It feels like saying it through gritted teeth right now because I would rather sleep in the rain on a street corner in South Carolina than ever spend one more night here, but now that I truly have no hope of it getting better, I should move into an acceptance state soon, because the alternative is openly denying reality which I don't want to do. I hope this is improvement idk.

I've fucked up a lot of ways within a specific cosplay-like community, most recently an event in January that I absolutely fumbled, over 100 people were counting on me and I couldn't put on the event the way it was planned. I originally wanted to leave the community entirely but if someday I should decide I want to start going to events again, what would be the best course of action that's the least cowardly?

A. Just be normal and hope no one remembers, and if they do and say something to me, just be like "yeah haha I did that, we all have bad moments"

B. Use a different badge name and appearance for the events (via cosplay, not anything crazy) and act like I am not the same person and never heard of that event where all the shit went wrong.

First one sounds like being too submissive and the second one sounds like too much avoidance. Both are cowardly, which one is less, though? Or is there a secret third option (that isn't just "cut and run from the entire community")

Thanks for reading, any advice is appreciated.

Remembered this recently due to the news about Oliver Tree, since I sadly think this was my introduction to his music. The video would have come out around November 2023 but I can't seem to find it on EWU or similar channels.

I believe everyone involved were teenage boys. The two killers are shown talking in the back of the police car(?) and one brazenly mentions their big new speakers and that they've been listening to Alien Boy by Oliver Tree on them, and both of them start singing the song together right there. It's revealed that the speakers were taken from the victim they killed. They were overall very nonchalant and proud about the whole thing, I think, but I can't remember much more about it. Thanks in advance.

I hope this makes sense, I have been reading a lot of historical stuff lately and keep finding that whenever someone dies a particularly torturous death, people automatically honor/memorialize them without considering to what kind of person they were. There's some kind of mental threshold where people will forgive any indecency a person did in life if their death is horrific enough. I'm curious about it, and I want to find if there's any examples where this is NOT the case. So far I can only find examples in fiction.

Edit: To be clear I'm talking about deaths that are like, uniquely slow and torturous like boiling to death, etc. Examples in fiction are the guy from Robocop melting or the child murderer in FNAF being springlocked.

I don't really want to say what the stim is, but I've been doing it for decades and it definitely is causing microscopic breakdown to my body every time. There has already been smaller consequences like muscle and connective tissue damage that I'm working on with a physical therapist. But I'm aware that repeated daily damage to a body can cause cancer there, and a few months ago I noticed a bump. I thought it would go away but it didn't, it grew rapidly and developed more smaller bumps around it, so I told my doctor and they are very concerned and going to remove it and biopsy it. I've never actually had surgery before and I'm scared about that, but doubly scared that I damaged my body so much that it formed a tumor. And also selfishly scared that I won't be able to do the stim ever again post-surgery.

I hate when things remind me that I'm like this, because I don't like thinking of myself as autistic or disabled. Being reminded that I do stuff like this is really making me spiral.