r/DatingApps

I have been on and off in several well known dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn, Meetup, Lovoo etc, in order to find someone genuine who is truly looking for a relationship and commitment to build a serious and meaningful connection.

But Alas! It's full of wierd people, either don't communicate, or only want sex, they have no emotional maturity, many of them are scammers, or they ghost out of nowhere. It has taken a toll into my mental health.

Is it really possible to get someone truly genuine and find soulmate through dating apps? Does this even work or am I doing something wrong?

Hi everyone,

I'm 24M and have been using Hinge for dating. I'm more of a quiet nerdy guy, and my profile mainly has outdoor activities (road cycling) and some art stuff. And I'm looking for a partner who is similarly nerdy and likes arts / crafts or outdoor activities. But it feels impossible to filter someone based on this on Hinge.

Is there a way to filter by this way on Hinge? or another app that allows this?

open to recommendations of other apps or in-person events where I might have better chances

Thanks

Given how most women on dating apps are inundated with hundreds if not thousands of likes, does it make any practical sense for a guy to try at dating apps.

I’m 24 and have personally never used one but recently I’ve been thinking about getting on one or two to try em out. But logically it doesn’t make sense.

I feel like Id be just one in a 100 likes and I it devalues me as a person to nothing more than a few photos and prompts.

I feel a better strategy is to just meet people irl and cold approaches but apparently that’s not super popular or successful with this generation so what’s a man supposed to do? 😅

I matched with someone and their first response was apologizing for a late reply. They followed that up with saying they’re not on the app much. This was my exact response, “No problem, I don’t really have any social media, if you’re not gonna be on here you can take my number if you’d like. I totally get if you’d rather not, either way it was nice meeting you”. I was unmatched immediately after. Im not bothered by the unmatch but now I’m wondering if I did something wrong. I realize that a phone number is more serious than a messaging app but I assumed it was the only option. Is it inappropriate or weird to offer my number so fast?

Just looking for some general advice on whether I should give up the apps or not. I've used tinder, hinge, bumble, and duet and somehow I think I've gone through every person in my area (20 mi) that isn't drastically older than me. I've started to use them less and take my mind off of them because a few months ago they had a hold on me and it was all I was thinking about all the time as I was really excited and eager to start actually dating as I've never done it before. I'm 19 m and still new to dating and have been trying to figure out how I fit into this new dating landscape and it constantly has me thinking "Am I doing something wrong?". At this point I just feel terrible that after months and months I've gotten only a couple dates that were pretty terrible and went nowhere and now it looks like I've run out of people to match with. I've almost even bought the subscriptions but know they're just a waste of time. So my question is this, is it worth continuing with the apps, trying new ones, or abandoning them and just trying to approach women out irl (which is kind of terrifying if I'm being honest cause I'm a pretty shy person.)

As someone who loves entertainment, I feel like my taste in movies, games, and music represents me better than a lot of standard dating profile prompts. Sure, you can mention a few of them somewhere on your profile, but the space is pretty limited.

From a product perspective, why hasn’t Hinge added a dedicated section for users to list their favorite media or artworks? Even something simple, like a top 10 list, would make profiles feel more personal and easier to connect over.

Should any conversations or anything that men say on dating apps be taken seriously? Also what's with the guys just disappearing on you randomly even after you switch apps?

So I work at a coffee shop and one of my regular customers matched with me on Hinge. They’re nice and polite whenever they come in, but we’ve never really had a conversation before outside of “do you want a straw“.

I know that that is one of the more famous “meet cute’s” but is it weird that they’re shooting their shot online instead of in person when I see them at least three times every week?

I’ve always thought that the etiquette on the apps is don’t swipe on people you know irl and instead talk to them in person. The apps are for meeting people outside your usual. But maybe that’s just me?

I don’t know how to feel. Their opening message is “do you work at [coffee shop name]?” So I know that they recognized me. And is that even shooting their shot??

Ugh advice would be greatly appreciated.

I haven't been on Hinge for many months while I'm trying to get in better shape, but also because I only have three useful photos. I hate having my picture taken but I also rarely encounter a time where I can have a candid picture taken without having to ask someone to do it.

Last time I was on there though, I used two photos. One was of me thoughtfully reading a book called "How to Take Dating App Photos That Aren't Shit" and another was of me laying on a couch cheerfully taking shots of something I can only describe as reckless, surrounded by indigestion tablets and using a copy of Crash Bandicoot as a coaster. The first one used to get some likes, while I ended up on a date with someone who responded directly to the second.

However, I know there's a fine line with these kinds of photos. I'm wondering what people's takes are on photos specifically designed to try and make the other person laugh.

Is there a lot of fakes on Bumble these days?
Before 2022 I would go on Bumble, and I would see legitimate females. Meaning, they did not look like exotic models, they did not have professional photographs, and a lot of them were average pretty. These days everybody on Bumble seems to look like a model from Europe I’m just asking has anybody else noticed this?

I’m looking for honest advice about dating apps, because I’m starting to find the experience genuinely demoralizing.

I’m a 23-year-old guy living in Oslo. On paper, I feel like I have quite a few things going for me: I’m 184 cm, I work out, I put effort into how I look, I have a good job, strong finances for my age, I own an apartment in Oslo, and I have hobbies I’m genuinely passionate about.

Academically, I’ve studied physics and mathematics, and I’m currently in one of the most selective university programs in Norway. I’m also applying to Oxford and Cambridge this autumn for graduate studies. So ambition and long-term goals are a big part of who I am.

I also feel like I have several of the qualities people often say they want in a partner: I’m responsible, hardworking, ambitious, loyal, stable, curious, and very passionate when I care about something. I like deep conversations, discussions, people with their own goals, and people who actually care about something.

At the same time, I get almost no response on dating apps. I get very few likes, and I rarely match with women I’m actually interested in. On the few occasions where I match with someone cute or interesting, they often don’t reply when I send a normal, friendly message, or the conversation dies very quickly.

I’m not saying anyone owes me attention or attraction. I fully understand that women get a lot of messages, dating apps are superficial, and no one has any obligation to respond. I’m also not trying to blame women. I’m just genuinely confused by how little response I get when I feel like I’m a fairly normal, decent, stable guy.

I’m also not looking for a supermodel. I’m not expecting some perfect fantasy person. I’d just like to meet someone I find cute, who I can have interesting conversations with, who can challenge me a bit, and who has some curiosity or passion of her own.

One thing that might matter is that I don’t drink alcohol. I’ve noticed that a lot of dating and social life in Norway seems to revolve around pre-drinks, bars, partying, and spontaneous drunk social settings, which I don’t naturally fit into. I don’t think I’m boring, but I’m probably more the type who enjoys good conversations, walks, restaurants, projects, hobbies, and more intentional plans.

I’ve also noticed that I often have better chemistry with women who are a bit older than me. I think that’s because I tend to get along better with people who are secure in themselves, know what they want, and appreciate maturity and responsibility. But I don’t really know how to communicate that without sounding too serious or weird.

So I guess my questions are:
-Are dating apps just this brutal for most men?
-Can a profile easily come across as too “serious”, “safe”, or boring even if you have a lot to offer?
-How do you communicate maturity, ambition, and stability without sounding like a CV?
-Does not drinking alcohol make dating significantly harder?
-How do you show warmth and personality better in a profile?
-What kinds of photos/prompts actually work best?
-Where do people meet more naturally if they’re not really part of the party/drinking scene?

I’m genuinely open to honest feedback, including if the answer is that I’m probably communicating the wrong vibe on my profile. I’m not looking for reassurance or “you’re perfect” answers. I’d rather get concrete advice on what I might be doing wrong.

I’ve spent a lot of time building competence, stability, and a good life on paper. It’s possible I just forgot to learn how to seem interesting on a screen in 0.7 seconds.

I’ve been on the apps since I was 37 and I’ve basically used a similar profile for most of the time. I can’t figure it out, but when I first started I could get a few matches a week and maybe go on 1 date a week.

Now at 40, it seems to have dropped off where I can’t get as many matches and not many of them turn into dates. Is it something about turning 40? Or is online dating worse now than it was a few years ago?

Looking for some good dating apps for kinks and kinky people any ideas?

Which would y'all use for a hookup vs looking for a relationship? I haven't dated in 15 years and for personal reasons I'm not looking for a relationship. I know there are tons of apps out there just not sure what people are using them for.

Dear All, some time ago I downloaded the app and created a fake profile with a fake picture. After a few days I was banned from the app and Hinge told me that I have to verify through an ID verification, otherwise I will be banned forever in the app.

My question: is it safe to upload the id there? And when they will notice that the picture that I uploaded it was fake and not matching with my profile, will I face serious consequences?

Thank you all in advance.

I’m curious what other people do when they start a relationship with someone they met on a dating app.
Once you’re officially dating someone, what happens to your other matches?

・Do you block or remove them from social media?
・Do you not block them, but simply let the conversation fade out naturally?
・Do you tell them, “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend now,” and then keep chatting only if the conversation continues naturally?
・Do you stay in touch and become friends, without necessarily mentioning your new relationship?
・Or do you handle it some other way?

I’m interested in hearing how people usually approach this.

31M, Southeast Asian - MA
Sorry if this is too loaded/too many words -
recently subscribed to Hinge X (I spend stupid amount of money on far needless things), cause why not.
I have been on the app for years but mostly on-and-off.

I started swiping more seriously this Jan, and have had maybe 1-2 matches every 7-10 days, and been on about 9 dates. 3 2nd dates and 3 unique 1st dates since Jan.

None of them ended anywhere, I did not try to kiss or escalate cause I certainly am under confident and I did not grow up in America so idk how the dating thing works here.

I dared to ask them what went wrong and I was told it was all ‘too platonic’. Bottomline I know it was my fault.

I dont think I can post my hinge profile yet, but I wanted to understand a few things:
\- I always get more hinge matches when I am traveling than my home city/state
\- people say this is a numbers game, so sending how many likes is healthy, Hinge X doesnt limit my #
\- I obviously am never in the standouts, but hoping someone can explain how to get there
\- how often should I change my photos? Is selecting ‘choose the best photo’ a good option or should I pick what I feel is the best? Cause it always picks the same photo as best one.
\- Any other advice on how to navigate this?
Last actual relationship was years ago!

i have no idea why, but my Hinge is blowing up right now. this is not a brag or anything like that. i’m genuinely terrified. i’ve gotten maybe 30-40 likes just in the past couple of hours and a million messages. almost everyone i’ve messaged is responding quick and reliably. bots possibly? i am genuinely so confused and freaked out by all of this