r/DatingTips

I'm looking for feminine pretty classy gorgeous 1st Date, coffee date outfit ideas?
For weekday evening meetup? Share some ideas.

i’m 23F and i’m hoping to get back into dating, but honestly, i feel like i have no idea what i’m doing lol. i’d really appreciate advice from people with more experience, especially anyone who’s dealt with anxiety or chronic illness while dating.

i use hinge, but i’ve only ever met one person from the app. we went on three dates before things fizzled out (he didn’t see things continuing with my situation), so i’m still pretty inexperienced. i overthink everything during the talking stage, like how much to text, what to ask, how long to talk before meeting, and whether someone is actually interested. i know people say you shouldn’t text for too long before meeting because you want things to talk about in person, but i’m socially anxious and tend to work myself up so much before leaving the house that sometimes it becomes difficult to actually go through with plans. this was one of my biggest struggles with the last person i dated.

i also have a chronic illness that makes planning dates unpredictable, and i live in a small town, so having a bigger dating pool means driving about an hour. i have ARFID, which makes restaurant dates difficult, too. i don’t currently work because of my health, and sometimes i worry that i’ll seem boring or won’t have much to talk about because my day-to-day life is pretty limited.

i’ve spent the last few years mostly stuck at home because of my illness and not having a car, but i’m finally mobile again and able to start going out and doing things. i think that’s a big part of why i’m ready to try dating now. i want to meet people, experience a relationship, and get my life back after feeling like i’ve missed out on so much.

i know my life hasn’t followed the typical timeline of going from high school to a career and then finding someone, but i genuinely feel ready to be part of someone else’s life and let them be part of mine. i’ve been through a lot with my health and other challenges, and those experiences have taught me a lot about myself. i’m not saying i have everything figured out, and i already go to therapy, but i don’t think i need to have a career or overcome every struggle before i can be a good partner. i’m not looking for people to tell me to fix myself before dating; i want to learn how to navigate dating with the life i have.

i’d especially love advice on:
- how to navigate the talking stage, texting, and knowing when to meet in person.
- red flags and green flags, and how to recognize someone who’s genuinely compatible with you.
- setting boundaries, avoiding unhealthy relationships, and not settling just because you want love.
- handling dating anxiety and explaining health limitations without scaring someone off.
- dating when you don’t work/feel like your life isn’t as exciting as everyone else’s.
- finding ways to plan dates that work around anxiety, chronic illness, or food limitations.

if you’ve been through something similar, or you have advice you wish you’d known when you first started dating, i’d genuinely love to hear it. i want to give myself a real chance at finding a healthy relationship, and i’d rather learn from other people’s experiences than keep overthinking everything on my own.

i know there’s a lot of context to my situation, so if anyone has questions or wants me to elaborate on anything, i’m happy to answer in the comments!

TL;DR: i’m 23F getting back into dating after years mostly stuck at home because of chronic illness and not having a car. i’m inexperienced with hinge, overthink texting and meeting people because of social anxiety, have unpredictable health limitations and ARFID, live an hour away from a bigger dating pool, and don’t currently work. despite all of that, i genuinely feel ready for a relationship and want practical advice on navigating dating, recognizing red flags, setting boundaries, and finding someone compatible. i already go to therapy, so i’m looking for actual dating advice rather than being told to fix myself first.

I (M36) saw an old colleague of mine (F30) on a dating app the other day and I deliberately did not match with them because I thought it would be weird. We used to work in the same office around 4-ish years ago and I've always had a thing for her, but I was in a committed relationship with another woman at the time. Now that I'm single and dating I started thinking about her in the context of old crushes I used to have and then, amazingly and out of the blue, she popped up on the dating app I was on the other day. I have her cell number from the time when we used to work together, so I went ahead and texted her to see if we could catch up sometime soon. She said yes, but I didn't mention the dating app sighting, nor did I mention that I'm single yet. As of right now I'm pretty sure she just thinks this is a friendly catch-up session with an old work colleague. I don't want to creep her out when I go see her in person to catch-up, but I also don't want to withhold the fact that a) I saw her profile on the dating app, b) I'm now single, c) I have always been attracted to her, and d) I would like to ask her out. How do I talk to her about all items a-d in that list without coming across like a creep and messing this whole thing up? Do I call her before we have our catch-up meeting? Do I text her this info before we meet? Do I wait until we're together in-person to tell her all these things? Do I even tell her the first time we meet or do I wait until after we see each other to lighten the shock? What's the best approach? Thanks everyone.

I am a 34m and practically have never dated before. I hadba girlfriend in college for 3 months until she slept with a friend of mine and I guess I was put off by getting hurt. During my 20s I spelt most my time looking for work and working. I never really had an interest in meeting someone romantically or something physical. Ive just kept to myself

But now I am in my mid 30s I am beginning to feel that I want to meet someone and start a family. I dont want to live in regret and wonder what if.

I am high functioning autistic, also have a full time job that makes okay money. Non smoker or drinker due to living in London still with my parents. I have red flags but up front abiut them.

Problem is I don't know how or where to start to meet someone. My friend are all settled down and met the significant others through mutual friends.

Any advice would greatly be appreciated.

I (47M) live in Ohio. I am shy, to old for the party/bar scene, and have had no luck on apps. Is there a place, physical or digital, you recommend?

33 y/o male here. I've been thinking of trying this. In the past, if anyone had asked me if I'd be willing to do this, I'd be like "no thanks, sounds awkward af". Recently, though, I though, "why not, if it doesn't go well, no harm done".

Has anyone ever had any luck getting dates this way? If so, do you have any advice?

Hi all, F/33 here in London, UK. I have been single for about 2.5 years. Before that I was in a relationship for 1.5 years, single for 6 months, and before that in a relationship for 7 years. In the last 2.5 years I have dated so many men, probably around 100 - mainly through apps. I love dating in general - love meeting new people, seeing new places, a kiss (obvs) etc etc. I’m happy in my life - I own my flat, I have an amazing group of pals, a good relationship with my family, a job I find very rewarding, hobbies and movement I enjoy. AND YET - I am slowly losing the will with dating. I stay so opened minded, I get back in the saddle quickly, and emotionally open to seeing where things go with no pressure - but literally nothing anymore. I feel like something is so so broken in the dating world (apps or no apps) and the chances of finding long time love is just impossible. I don’t really know what to do next, how to keep going with it all - how to maintain the optimistic attitude I held for so long about love being something that will happen in time as I’m open to it and meeting people. I’m pretty in an average way, confident, intelligent, funny, and political / passionate about things I care about etc and yet the fall out of this is I assume I have to change something about myself - make my body smaller (I am a size 16), which I don’t want to do as I have recovered from an eating disorder, or make my personality smaller - if I’m going to find love. I would love any and all suggestions on what to do to stay positive, tips for meeting people, anything to be honest xxx

Im in my 20s, engineering student, home student, the only single one in my friend group (also the only non white one which i feel like might have something to do with it). Just wondering if there's anyone else 20s, educated, looking for a woman who wants commitment, a family, security, has an open mind, and isnt really finding anything even remotely close to that on dates?

People just tend to want one night stands or don't really know how to hold a conversation

Thanks x

Edit: ive tried bars, clubs, societies at uni, pub crawls, then online: hinge, bumble, tinder, Her. I find that those in their 30s showed pictures of their lives, their hobbies, they looked lovely, they looked like they had depth, i wanted to get to know them but they never replied when contacted. Those in their 20s (what i was looking at) were either lathered in so much makeup i couldn't see the person underneath (which is what i want to see, i want to get to know the person) or they had pictures of their shirts off in the mirror or at the gym.... i don't want to see someones body, i want to know a persons values and views, you know? Should i be looking elsewhere? Also why does everyone whos got their crap together have a partner or they're like 30😭

I don’t like the bar scene at all not my vibe lol, but I spent my 20s building my company and now I want to settle down and find the right woman to travel the world with. Where should I start? Seems like online dating is kinda crazy but I’m not against trying the right app. But any input would help,

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Hi! I'm a 23-year-old woman in the US, currently in university, and I have never been on a date. No guy has ever asked me out and I am not sure what I am missing or where to start.

I have asked for advice before, but most replies came from men, and I'm hoping to hear from a more female viewpoint this time. Guys usually share what they say that they like, for example: "be confident," "I'd love if a girl asked me out", and I don't doubt they mean it, but what people say they want isn't always how they act in real life. So, yea, I am hoping for someone who has walked in my shoes before.

Women have actually lived it from my side. You know what happened when you showed interest, what got a real response, and what led to actual dates. I would like to see more from a female perspective who has also struggled.

A few things I'm curious about:

☆ How did you meet the guys you dated?

☆ Did you ever make the first move? How did it go?

☆ What helped you seem approachable?

☆ If you started dating later, what helped?

Any honest advice or stories would mean a lot. Thank you! 💛

I need a man who is only my person, and loves me equally as me or maybe more, doesn't cheat on me, and spends over me without letting me pay (please don't judge me for this but this something that makes me feel like a child and I love this feeling, in turn I can make him feel like a child too🫪 but umm that's for later haha) while I keep intact his finances, takes me for long drives and ice cream after that, a good amount of intimacy along with after care😭.

I want him to be nerdy enough to talk abt anything in this world so that our conversation would be endless and I get to learn a lot from him, I want him to be fit and fine so that I also would be motivated enough to take care of my health and body.

I don't want him to judge me for my insecurities rather I want him to feel like my home, my person with whom i can share my everything.

I’m 21 and in university. I’m not shy and I usually approach girls at clubs, but I’m wondering what’s the best way to approach a girl I actually think is my type.

If I meet a girl at university and I’m genuinely interested in her, do I just talk to her for a bit and ask her out on a date, or should I try to become friends first and see what happens naturally?

I don’t want to become “friends” with someone while secretly hoping she’ll eventually date me. I’d rather be straightforward, but I’m curious what other people think works better around our age (21–22).

What do you guys usually do?

hey y’all! so i’m a 33F and have been in 1 long term relationship (10+ years). we broke up in 2020, but we still have gone on as if we are still together. i want to move on and start being comfortable dating new people, but i literally don’t know how. i always find myself comparing everyone to my ex. time is not stopping and i truly want to find someone new and start building a new life. can anyone help with tricks/tips on being more intentional with dating and moving on? TIA 😘

Eye contact situation with smiling back and forth at work. No ring, he has a good reputation, and I’m insanely attracted to him.

I think about it enough that I am asking this group on Reddit. I’m confident enough that he is interested as well that I wrote my phone number down and put it in my pocket for the chance we would run into each other yesterday, did not run into each other.

We have talked, but it is hard to run in to each other again after morning meetings that’s NOT with a lot of other people present. I am shy, he seems shy as well.

My options are…
Find an excuse to message him through work.

Wait to run into him that does not have a lot of people around (rare).
Perhaps an option you can think of and help me with lol
Thank you!

ETA: I’m in early 30s and I think he may be mid to late 30’s.

The link is the OG post. Thanks for the advice and will definitely use some in the future but unfortunately, it's a no. And at least now I know.

[supprimé]

I'm 20F, and I've never been in a relationship. I'm in my 3rd year of uni, and I don't get apprached my guys often (ive been approached maybe 2 times that I am aware of). I am a poc and my school is predomenatly asain/white.

But even in highschool, I was never chosen. I remember during prom season, a guy told his friends that since he had no prom date, he would constantly joke that he would consider going out with me. (He was basically saying that the pool of prom dates was so bad that he would choose the very last girl as an option).

I didn't really notice that I wasn't desirable till I noticed that guys would make lewd jokes and talk about other women when I was with them. When a girl they deemed attractive was there, they became kind and sweet.

And now I'm 20, I've never been out on a date and to be honest, I don't know if anyone would choose me. I'm involved in my school, I'm an officer in clubs, and I have my own Bible study group as well. I workout, I'm not overweight or anything. I often get a lot of girls asking me for my workout routine or diet tips... even though I don't diet or have a rigorous workout routine.

But I will say I don't think I have the prettiest face. I have the clearest skin, but I still wear makeup and it looks bad on me, even when it's usually the tried and true routine.

But the thing is, I truly want to explore, but I don't want to have sex just yet. I just want someone to get to know me for who I am... not for what I can give at the moment.

I don't really talk to men and I'm trying to get over that, but how do I put myself out there? How do I show that I'm interested in someone? How do I get others to be interested in me, but not in a "pick me" way... it's just that I don't think people can tell if I'm attracted to them. (I often look the other way or avoid them)

Do you guys have any advice?