r/DatingTips

Getting back into online dating is giving maze era. Endless swipes, recycled bios, apps promising community but not delivering. Zoe keeps popping up as a WLW dating app and the concept sounds cute. Link up with women in the LGBTQ+ space who actually want something real. But we all know app vibes can hit different than the marketing.

Some say its one of the more intentional spaces for WLW. Others say its surface level depending on where you live. The real question is whether its actually a safe and affirming space because for a lot of WLW that matters just as much as chemistry. If anyone has used Zoe recently, drop your honest takes. Is it giving real connections or just another swipe heavy loop. Any tips before I commit time and money to another app would be clutch.

Hey guys, just for some background info, I have only been in one serious relationship. He was my first kiss, boyfriend, etc. We only dated for a year, and we broke up almost 1 1/2 to 2 years ago. Since then, I have only gone on three dates during that time. All of them have ended with me being ghosted due to me not wanting to have sex with them ( I am traditional, waiting till marriage). I have not been dating for a while due to my academics and focusing on my future; however, I am starting to feel a little bit ready to jump into dating. What advice can you give me when it comes to dating? I want to make sure that I am putting myself out there the best I can.

Been using Bumble and Facebook Dating for a while and honestly neither has been it for me. I'm 27F and i'm hoping to meet someone who shares my religious and political views but that's been way harder than I expected. Most of my matches don't line up with what i'm looking for, and when I finally find someone promising they usually don't match back. Giving needle in a haystack energy.

I haven't paid for Bumble premium because its lowkey overpriced for what you get. Basic filters like religion being locked behind a paywall makes it so hard to narrow things down. Also haven't tried the super like feature since i'm not sure if it actually helps or just comes off awkward. Facebook Dating hasn't impressed me either, the filters feel so limited that i'm basically swiping with no real progress. The whole thing feels repetitive and unproductive.

So i'm wondering if there's better dating apps that actually focus on matching people based on values and beliefs. Would love to hear if anyone has had more luck somewhere else especially without having to pay extra for every useful feature.

My speed date asked me to describe myself in one sentence.

Me-'l'm a man for all seasons'.

Her-'like Paul Scofield in that movie?'.

Me-'No,i work for MacCormick'.

Filipino Cupids been on my fyp for a minute and I'm lowkey thinking about giving it a shot. The concept is kinda cute, especially if you're tryna link with Filipino singles or people in Filipino communities. But the reviews online are so mixed its giving me whiplash and I cant tell whats a real experience vs sponsored hype. Main thing for me is whether the app is actually active with real people or just full of dusty profiles nobody has touched since 2019.

Some apps let you match then immediately paywall the messages which is honestly giving scam. Not opposed to paying if the convos hit and the connections feel real, but nobody wants to drop coin just to talk to bots or send messages that get left on read into oblivion. Would be so clutch to know exactly what you unlock with premium before committing.

Are people actually looking for something serious or is it more situationship energy that leads nowhere. Energy matters bestie. If the community feels intentional and respectful thats already a green flag. If anyone has actually used Filipino Cupid pls drop your honest takes. Success stories, frustrations, awkward moments, all of it welcome before I commit time and money to yet another app.

So after three recent dates (2 with one person one with another), i’m feeling like i should delete hinge again. one of them gave me the “im not really feeling romantic vibes” and the other one just unmatched me after the date.

im failing so bad at dating and getting people to like me. should i give up altogether on finding a partner? or is there a better way? an easier way? a different app i should use?

for context i delete these apps pretty often after a series of disappointing dates/connections or a relationship ends because i don’t like how it makes me feel like a failure and that there’s something wrong with me. what would you do? is taking breaks a good strategy? or should i just push through and ignore my feelings? i’m not getting the result i want - a long term relationship.

i’m 28f if that helps at all.

Maybe I’m becoming paranoid with age, but lately I’ve started noticing how invasive a lot of dating apps feel

Location always on, endless notifications trying to pull you back in, profiles connected to every social account imaginable, random people you may know situations that honestly feel uncomfortable after divorce when you’re trying to keep your private life separate

I actually deleted one app because it somehow recommended my ex wife’s coworker to me and that was enough internet for one day

A few months ago I switched to one not popular mostly because somebody in another forum mentioned the moderation and verification being stricter there, and the whole experience honestly felt less chaotic. Less fake engagement bait, fewer creepy interactions and overall it felt more focused on actual conversations instead of keeping people endlessly addicted to swiping

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I really miss when meeting people online felt private and low pressure instead of feeling like another social media ecosystem tracking every interaction

Spent two years on swipe-based apps getting absolutely nowhere meaningful. A friend who's in her 40s suggested I try eHarmony. I resisted for months because the whole thing felt too structured and deliberate like I was filling out a job application.

Finally signed up and yeah, the pace is completely different. Fewer matches, slower conversations, more questions upfront. At first it felt boring compared to what I was used to.

Three months in and I've had two of the most genuine conversations I've had with anyone from an app. One of them has been ongoing for six weeks.

I think I needed the slower format more than I realized. Anyone else made the switch from high-volume apps to something more intentional and felt a similar shift?

24 year old female born and raised in chicago. i’ve only ever had 2 boyfriends, both i met in college.

my second boyfriend was more long term/serious but we ended up parting ways. he was the one to break up with me. he was a good guy, but didn’t know how to be a true partner to someone. and i minimized problems that were actually really big like gap in emotional maturity, controlling mom, and just generally not being a man in the way a woman needs. this all made me insecure in my place in his life, i began to nitpick, now we’re here. i knew i was unhappy for a while, and i held on a lot longer than i should’ve. i kept justifying it all bc he was a good guy, it was his first relationship, we could learn. which is embarrassing honestly, im pretty upset with myself for staying as long as i did. i really loved him, and i do miss him right now. but i do know if we stayed together longer/got married, i truly would have suffered. so im not as heartbroken and overwhelmingly sad as one may be.

now that we are broken up, i have a lot out of fear of going into the dating world. i absolutely am not trying to jump into another relationship or casual flings, that’s never been my style. i definitely need time to look inward at myself and just be in my own.

that being said, i am a worrier lol. i like to have a plan, i like to know what to expect. of course i can’t expect that with love but im young and dumb and i did. i hear horror stories of how hard it is to meet a decent person. and it genuinely worries me. and i really do not want to go on the dating apps guys pls.

i feel weird to brag about myself and all the good things about me. so ill just say this, i know who i am as a person and as a partner. i know that i bring a lot to the table financially, emotionally, physically.

this was a bit of a break up rant lol, but now we get to the actual question: hows dating in chicago?

I'm considering The League because I want quality matches over quantity. From what I've been researching, it's an exclusive dating app with curated matches, professional profiles, and a selective membership. The matching is algorithm-based on professional compatibility. They limit daily matches which supposedly increases quality.

What's appealing about it is the professional focus and the idea of curated matches. I've been reading mixed reviews some people find great matches, others find the pool too limited. The premium pricing is steep which makes me wonder if it's worth it. The exclusivity can be limiting depending on your location and preferences. But I'm wondering if the quality of matches justifies the cost.

Is The League actually worth the premium price? Have you tried it? Did you get better matches than other apps? What's the user base like? Is the curated matching actually better or just marketing? Would you recommend it or should I save money? How does it compare to Hinge or Match? What about the limited daily matches does that help or hurt? Should I pay for exclusivity or use free apps?

I am basically an small level developer and i got this idea for an dating app where everyone is anonymous at first and the more you talk, the more information about the other person gets revealed so that it forces you to actually talk to each other making connections .

In addition i was thinking of:

• Having limited skips between chats
• Filtering/banning out nudity or accounts with any of that intentions
• showing only common interests so u have something to talk about.

I was just wondering if people are sort of interested in this for me to proceed with it.

Me (25M) and my colleague started as a casual thing back in February. After some time, she confessed that she loved me, and about a month ago I confessed too. Now we’re in a committed relationship.

The thing is, she’s always been very social. She talks to a lot of guys in the office and in her friend circle. She tells me to trust her and says she’s loyal, and I genuinely want to. But lately I’ve been overthinking some things.

For example, recently she’s been spending almost the entire workday with her TL because they’re working together closely. We barely meet except during lunch. She says she’s just a workaholic and focused on work.

At the same time, I’ve noticed changes in her behavior and appearance too — like dressing more boldly lately (sleeveless/deep-neck tops etc.). Part of me wonders if I’m just connecting random dots because I’m insecure.

What confuses me more is that if I casually talk to another girl in the office, she gets jealous or offended. Meanwhile, I’ve slowly stopped talking to most people at work and now I basically have no friends there except her, while she barely has time for me.

I can’t tell if this is a genuine gut feeling or if I’m just becoming anxious and possessive. Am I overthinking this? Should I normalize this in my head and work on my insecurity?🥲

Matched with someone on Hinge who listed “long-term relationship” and we talked consistently for about a month before finally meeting.

The date itself genuinely went well — good conversation, respectful, chemistry seemed solid. But at the end of the night he mentioned he was actually only looking for something casual/FWB.

I was mostly confused because his profile said otherwise and our conversations didn’t feel casual at all.

For people who’ve experienced this before:
Do you think some people use “long-term” more loosely just to keep options open until meeting in person?

I've been using Facebook Dating and suddenly my matches stopped appearing. I'm trying to figure out if it's a technical glitch or if something's wrong with my account. From what I can tell, Facebook Dating is a free feature within Facebook that matches based on interests and location. But apparently the algorithm can change, features can have bugs, or account issues can cause problems. What's making me frustrated is that I was getting matches consistently and now nothing. I've been reading that this could be due to algorithm updates, account restrictions, privacy settings, or just technical glitches. The support can be limited which makes troubleshooting difficult. But I'm wondering if there's something I'm missing or if it's just a platform issue. Why did my Facebook Dating matches suddenly stop? Have you experienced this? What's the solution? Should I check privacy settings? Does clearing cache help? Should I contact Facebook support? Is this a common bug? Are there workarounds? Should I just switch to another dating app? What's going on with the algorithm? Is Facebook Dating worth using if it has these issues? Should I give up on it?

For some reason, body insecurity I guess, since high school I tried to stay away from girls. I wasn’t ugly, in fact I had girls coming up to me but I always got nervous. Fast forward to now, I’m still a virgin and haven’t even kissed a girl yet. I used to be confident growing up and even arrogant at times but as I got older I didn’t feel valuable because of my package size. I had gained weight after HS and just now I started hitting the gym and got some confidence back and dropped 40lbs.

I got on dating apps and got some matches here and there but there’s this one girl that stood out. I never planned to go on a date, I just used it to gauge the type of women I attracted at the stage I was in. Let’s call her Sally. We’ve been talking for two weeks on hinge everyday. That’s how I know this is a little different than the rest of the matches. It’s got to the point where she’s using words like “us” and “we” to describe things. I can tell she likes the idea she has of me but I don’t think I’m that. I can maybe see what she sees in me but I don’t think she’ll like who I really am. I set a date for some reason this weekend and I wasn’t thinking it through, I wouldn’t have set it up because I’m super nervous still. Bottom line is I told myself I’m following through. For some reason though I feel like this is my only chance because she’s the only girl who actually has a real interest in getting to know men. We’ve been sending big paragraphs back in fourth, nothing compared to other matches you know, I mean it’s night and day.

Im juts looking for guidance and tips guys please. I want her to have a good time regardless if I get a second date out of it. But I’m also freaking out thinking what if it does go good. I don’t know how to make a move? I don’t know how to kiss her? She doesn’t seem the type to hook up on the first date, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I mean I’m not even sure how to do that. I know she likes me for whatever reason and I just don’t want to let her down even though I don’t even know her. Anyone have any thoughts?

I've been seeing Thursday pop up on dating app recommendations and I'm trying to figure out if it's actually worth downloading. From what I can tell, it's focused on actual dating rather than hookups, which is refreshing. The app uses real people with verification, no swiping, and matches based on conversation. They have video profiles and community moderation which sounds like they care about safety.

What's appealing about it is the quality-over-quantity approach. I've been reading that the user base is smaller than Tinder or Bumble, but more engaged and serious about dating. The community-driven aspect means real people moderating, not just algorithms. But I'm wondering if the limited user base in some areas is a dealbreaker. The 4.2/5 rating is solid which suggests it's legit.

Is Thursday actually legit or just marketing hype? Have you tried it? Did you match with real people? What's the user base like in your area? Is the no-swiping format actually better or just different? Would you recommend it or stick with Tinder? How does the matching algorithm work? What about safety features, do they actually work? Should I download it or waste my time?

I've been seeing GGG pop up on dating profiles and I'm not sure what it means. Apparently it stands for Good, Giving, and Game coined by sex columnist Dan Savage. It means good in bed, giving equal pleasure and attention, and game for trying new things. It's supposedly a signal about sexual compatibility and openness.

What's making me curious is that I'm seeing it more often in mainstream dating profiles, not just niche communities. I've been reading that it's common in LGBTQ+ communities but increasingly mainstream. The term signals sexual openness and willingness to explore, not just casual hookup culture. But I'm wondering if it's actually important or if I'm overthinking it. The question is whether this is something I should care about when evaluating profiles.

What does GGG actually mean exactly? Have you seen it on profiles? Should I care about it? Is it important for compatibility? What about variations like GGG+? Does it mean someone's looking for hookups or actual relationships? How common is it? Should I put it on my profile? What other terms mean similar things? Is this something that matters or just dating app jargon?

I've been hearing about the Girlfriend Activation Video and I'm trying to figure out if it's actually legitimate dating advice or just manipulation tactics. Apparently it's associated with Andrew Tate who is a controversial figure. The video supposedly teaches men how to get girlfriends but uses questionable methods that seem pickup artist-ish.

What's making me hesitant is that I've been reading Reddit threads warning against it. People are calling it a scam, associated with toxic masculinity, and manipulation tactics. The community consensus seems to be that it's not legitimate dating advice. But I'm wondering if there's any value or if it's completely worthless. The question is whether this is something to avoid or if I'm being too judgmental.

Is the Girlfriend Activation Video actually helpful? Have you watched it? What's your honest take? Does it teach manipulation or real dating skills? Is Andrew Tate's association a red flag? Should I avoid it completely? What's the community saying about it? Are there better alternatives? What actually works for getting into relationships? Should I look elsewhere for dating advice?

Earlier this year, I reconnected with a guy I originally met on a dating app. We started chatting daily and going on casual weekend dates. When we first exchanged IGs, I noticed his follower list was almost exclusively women. My gut told me he was a major red flag. But to be completely honest, he was so drop-dead gorgeous that I chose to be "selectively blind" and kept seeing him just to enjoy the vibes.

A while later, I spontaneously proposed a trip abroad, and he agreed instantly. I thought to myself, "Okay, if he can just jet off like this, he must be single." Shortly after, he invited me on a much bigger trip later this year, but I decided to pass on that one.

During our trip together, I noticed he was constantly glued to his phone, texting multiple women. When we got back, I decided to do some petty detective work. I cross-referenced his IG highlights, food photos, and posts with other accounts. Boom. Matching locations, matching timestamps. I confirmed he was running multiple lines of long-term situationships without giving anyone an official title.

(Look, I admit that before any "what are we" talk, everyone is technically single and free to do what they want.)

But my motivation was simple: I wanted to make sure I wasn’t accidentally becoming the side chick, and I was genuinely curious if the other girl knew.

So, I reached out to one of the girls to ask about her relationship status with him. She immediately went on the defensive and was totally evasive. It was clear she was stressed about her own situation with him.

Because she was beating around the bush and I wanted a straight answer, I pressed her harder, repeatedly asking, "But have you guys actually made it official?" Fed up with the reality check, she snapped back with, "I already told you how it is, what else do you want? :)"

And then, she immediately went and ratted me out to the guy. (I later found out they had been stuck in this text-book toxic, title-less loop for over a year.)

I have two questions for you guys:

1. If I had ignored all the red flags, kept playing dumb, and continued dating this insanely hot guy just for the good vibes, would I have been happier?

2. Was I wrong for entering the game with an omniscient perspective and popping this girl's delusional bubble that she’s been trapped in for over a year, forcing her to face reality?

P.S. English is not my first language, so I’ve attached my original text in Chinese below for better context/clarity.

中文原文：

今年年初，與一位先前從交友軟體認識的男生重新聯繫。開始每天聊天並偶爾在假日進行小約會，在剛交換 IG 時，我就注意到他的粉絲幾乎都是女生，當時我就覺得這個人可能不太行。但坦白說，因為男方外在條件非常好，所以我當時「選擇性失明」，決定繼續維持聯絡與約會。

期間，我主動提議出國旅遊計畫。男方也馬上答應，我就想說可能真的單身所以才可以馬上答應出國。隔沒多久男方也有提出更遠期的出國邀約，但我選擇放棄。

共同出遊時，我注意到他頻繁和其他女生們傳訊息。回國後，我無聊就來找碴，透過社群帳號的精選動態、食物照片和貼文等，對齊了時間與地點，確認他同時維持沒有確立名份的多線曖昧關係。

(我承認，在沒有確認關係前的身份都是自由的)

當時的出發點很單純，一方面想釐清自己是否在不知情的情況下成了第三者，另一方面也好奇另一位女生是否知道。

我就向其中一位女生詢問與男方的關係，對方顯得相當防備且避重就輕，看來那位女生也有點傷腦筋的感覺。

因為對方避重就輕，我為了得到更直白的答案，多次針對「是否確認關係」的追問下，女生最終留下一句「我都這樣講了還有嗎:)」，並把這件事告訴男方。(最後也得知他們這樣沒有名分的關係維持的一年多)

如果當初在發現這些Red flag，我選擇繼續裝作不知道、睜隻眼閉隻眼地繼續跟這位外型姣好的男方約會、享受當下的約會氣氛，我會過得比較快樂嗎？