r/DatingTips

There have been times where just endless chats and sometimes over instagram or whatsapp where both share ids but I am tired of things leading to nowhere just ghosted matches but nothing substantial
How soon to ask for a date? many say ohh we just started talking even after 2-3 days

First off I want to share that I was diagnosed as moderately autistic rather late in life, in my mid-30s (I'm 41 now). I've had this nagging feeling that I'm being left behind by the very small friend group I have. Most are almost a decade younger than I am and they have managed to do the "normal" thing of finding a girlfriend for themselves but whenever I try to do it I always get incredibly intimidated and end up not saying anything at all. I've tried forcing myself to go out without said friend group and try my own hand at this interaction thing. I've tried karaoke. I've tried conventions. I've tried the local game store. I've tried just going to the closest bars. Nothing works. I can't get over the intimidation factor.

Honestly, the only time I really felt comfortable asking someone out was during a board gaming group that I used to belong to but the pandemic completely destroyed that. There hasn't been a real replacement in my area since.

I've also asked my friend group for advice and help but they're pretty useless. Every time someone "tries" it always ends in disaster. The last time I went out with someone claiming to help me with my issues they ended up doing NOTHING. I was told we'd go to a live music event and they'd be acting as a wingman but as soon as I arrived they did fuck-all. Proceeded to chat with their friend and pay me zero mind.

I don't think they really know what to do with an autistic person and they don't really know why I'm having all of these problems. What more can I do to get over this problem? I don't want to end up alone for the rest of my life.

I’m 21 and have never been in a relationship. Does anyone have advice for where to start? What are the best places to meet people?

25M, SWE, been in Bangalore for a few years, and I’ve never actually been in a relationship.

Dating apps have honestly been a solid ego check. Barely any matches, most conversations die by message four, and the few that don’t usually become a 2-week talking stage and then just… disappear. No closure, nothing 😭

I’m vegetarian, don’t drink, and pubs/clubs honestly drain me. I’d much rather go for a long walk on a random evening or sit in a quiet cafe for two hours and talk about nothing.

The problem is, I’m slowly realising that this doesn’t really fit the usual Bangalore dating scene.

Friends keep saying “bro you’re decent, how are you still single?” followed by absolutely zero useful advice 😂

Office is just office, gym is just gym, and after 6 everyone seems to disappear into traffic and Netflix.

So genuinely curious — for people who found something real without dating apps, how did it happen? Hobby, classes, friends, apartment/society, or just pure luck?

And for those still using apps, is it actually working for you?

Not looking for “be more confident” advice 😭 Just trying to understand what actually works in Bangalore.

Okay people in the dating world. Let's talk about having kids. Raising children now a days is crazy expensive!! Besides the money, having a stable family home is essential to their overall growth and development of the child.

To help improve this, I say Marry before you carry. You read that correctly, marry that person before you have children. Why would a person do that oh great wise one? It is because they are more than likely to stay committed and help raise the child together.

The dating standards are low and people need to do better. Seriously, before you sleep with a person, ask yourself this question. "Would this person be an amazing parent"?

I have seen some of the men single mothers have kids with and I am completely puzzled. These guys have red flags essentially all over them with a glowing red light over their heads.

People will say you are blaming the women. Yes but I am also blaming the men as well, many of whom should NEVER be fathers based off their behaviors.

If you are a single parent, struggling to raise a child by yourself, financially, emotionally, and physically, would you honestly care if your husband or wife was attractive? Or would you care more that she or he is reliable, consistent, puts in the effort, cares about your well being, and be a good role model for the family, This is why character and good values counts at the end the day,

Now many of the villagers of Reddit land will criticize me for this and I don't care. I am speaking facts, so what's up.

This manual genuinely helped me when I read it about two years ago.

The main character was called Adrian, and he was some kind of natural seducer. Women were constantly drawn to him, which kept pulling him and his cousins into trouble whenever they went out. The situations got so bad that clubs around the city eventually stopped letting him in.
That’s almost everything I remember. I don’t know the title, the author…

but the book was written as a manual and it actually helped me.

Does anyone recognize it?

**26M, Looking to Finally Put Myself Out There**
I’m 26M and I’ve reached a point where I genuinely want to start dating and meet someone I can build something meaningful with. I’ve spent a lot of the last few years focused on work, personal goals, and just figuring myself out, so dating was never really a priority. Now I feel like I’m ready to make room for someone else in my life.
I wouldn’t say I’ve never interacted with women or had connections, but I’ve never really had the kind of relationship where I felt like I was seriously building a future with someone. I’m not looking to force anything either. I’d rather meet someone naturally, get to know each other, go on a few dates, laugh together, have good conversations, and see whether there’s actually a connection.
I’m pretty laid-back, affectionate once I’m comfortable with someone, and I enjoy simple things. Going out for food, watching movies or a new series, listening to music, taking random drives, trying new places, or just staying in and having a good conversation all sound better to me than constantly being in loud social situations.
At this point, I’m mostly wondering where people actually meet someone these days. Dating apps seem like the obvious answer, but I’ve heard so many mixed experiences with them. I’m also open to meeting someone through mutual friends, hobbies, social events, or even online communities like Reddit.
I’m not expecting to meet my future partner overnight. I just want to put myself out there, meet new people, and hopefully find someone who wants the same kind of genuine connection.
For anyone who has successfully found a relationship after being single for a long time, how did you meet your person?

What people will suggest ways to meet are:

1.) social circles where friends set you up.

2.) Hobbies/acitivities you like to do

Both are huge problems. 1.) Most likely your friends dont have hundreds of female friends to set you up with and most of them are usually unattractive. So no use in using friends. Even if you do find someone and the date goes bad, it can ruin he friends circle.

2.) if you approach a girl in a hobby/activity and she complains for any reason even if your 1000% innocent, you will likely be kicked out of the hobby/activity and have your membership revoked.

3,) Cold approach doesn't work. 4.) bars/clubs dont work.

What the hell is there to do?

I’m (29F) single, and I have been for most of my life. I have dated and had a few relationships that lasted maybe 6 months, but other than that, I’ve been single. It’s really starting to wear on my confidence. I’ve joined the dating apps, I go to CrossFit, and I’ve recently joined a hiking group. After I joined it, I found out that one of my coworkers, who I have a crush on, is also in that group (not putting all my eggs in one basket tho)
Just wondering what else I can do? I don’t like going out to clubs because they are too expensive. I moved to this new country a year ago and live on my own, so I don’t have many friends right now and don’t really go out on the weekends much, but I am working on it.

First date ever. Saturday.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Reddit, please train me before I embarrass myself 😭

Good people of Reddit, many of you all have a hard time at dating. I am here to help you because I care. If you wan to be successful finding the love if your life, do these proven ideas.

1. Keep an open mind. Not everyone will fit into every box you want

2. Looks matter but beauty fades over time. Focus on character and values.

3. If you are a woman, ask your male family members to vet the guy. Guys can see thru another guy bs.

4. If you are a man, ask a female family member to vet the woman. Women can see thru another women bs

5. Slow burn over instant spark. First dates are not easy and people are nervous or they will give you false image of themselves. It takes time to know someone. 3-5 dates would be a good gauge to determine if you want to continue.

6. Stop comparing relationships you see on social media. Those are a false reality.

7. Keep your standards, requirements high but reasonable. More importantly, keep it consistent with each person you date. The person you lower your standards for, will more than likely use and disappoint you.

8. No sex until you both are in a committed LTR relationship. It worked quite well for centuries,

9. Ask people out of dates regardless if you are a woman or man. Stop it with the fairytale nonsense. Will you get rejected? Yes. Will you get some dates? Yes

10. Single parents should focus on dating other single parents. You both understand the factors when being a parent.

11. First date and all dates until you are officially in a relationship should be 50/50. No one is required to pay for your expenses if you are in the dating stages.

12. Dates should be low cost (free ideally), fun, and getting to know person.

13. Take advice from your friends with a grain of salt regarding the person you are dating. Some people are jealous of other's happiness.

14. Dress appropriately for your dates.

15. Enjoy your life and date who you want. You don't need validation from others.

Bonus:

A. Men, stop lying about your height

B. Ladies, stop lying about your age.

C. Have a professional photographer take your pictures if you are on the apps.

Ok, let's break out the popcorn and read the comments :)

I’ve been thinking about creating a small guide for Indian men, probably around 21–28, covering everything from making a good dating profile to building a genuine connection and eventually setting up a date.( very affordable ebook)

Obviously, there’s no magic formula that’s going to lead to 100 successful dates, and everyone is different. But I feel like my experience so far could at least give guys a better idea of what women might be looking for and some of the things men tend to struggle with.

There will always be exceptions, so I’d also offer one text-based advice session and one profile review to everyone who buys the ebook.

Do you think this could actually work as a small business? More importantly, do you think it could genuinely help Indian men?

Note for mods: I’m not selling anything here, just trying to get an idea of whether people would actually be interested in something like this and whether it could provide some value.

I’ve gotten a surprising amount of matches, but either I get people who match and never message, or we’ll start off strong in messaging, and then they just fall off the face of the earth. Usually, it’s when I ask them about their passion or their favorite object or subject. I’m just tired of the pattern and honestly makes me not want to try because I genuinely want to make a connection, but it’s hard when they don’t text back. Idk if I could do anything in the community like find someone naturally because I’m pretty closed off and have serious RBF.