r/Earth199999

A thirty-five year old man from Staten Island attempted to jump from the top of his Manhattan apartment building last week at approximately 8:04 AM. Spider-Man swung to the rescue, catching the man as he was falling and safely escorted him to the street.

Today, the man, known only as Steve, and his lawyer have filed a lawsuit against Spider-Man and the City of New York, and released a statement regarding the incident:

"My client intended to end his life that day, but the illegal vigilante known as Spider-Man assaulted my client, and, in the process of 'saving' him, caused my client great pain and suffering. My client did not wish to be saved, and certainly not by Spider-Man."

J. Jonah Jameson, founder of The Daily Bugle podcast, had this to say in a recent interview:

"I want to side with the poor fella, but I find it offensive he expects us taxpayers to front the bill for that [Spider-Man] menace's legal affairs! Then again, the police chief lets him run around and cause chaos, so maybe it's a good thing the City's getting sued too."

Defense attorney Jennifer Walters, alias She-Hulk, has stated that she would be open to representing the New York-based superhero. More info as the story develops.

~Photo by Anonymous~

(OOC: inspired by the opening scene from The Incredibles lol)

Idk I just think it's kinda weird, especially with the latest Hulk rampage we had...

Description of the first one:
Black raised webbing
Long logo
Red & Blue
Different mask.

Description of the 2nd one:
Silver webbing.
Different logo.
Red & Blue (sometimes reported red & black)
Sharp eyes.

If you see one of these "Spider-Men" in your area, probably take a pic.

OOC: Reminder that Tobey & Andrew were sent to the MCU around the same time as the villains.

I saw him swinging around I thought he was spider-man but he's got a different build and costume I wonder if he might be a clone or new villain or something

Like how many Spider-people are there actually? Like we got spider-man, tons of BlackWidows, another two at Statue of Liberty, Night-Monkey and Jester-Man in Europe, they reproduced so fast that i think that is an actual threat for humanity.

But do not fear guys I got a solution. We should just capture all of them and put them into my bedroom. I can take them.

My dad was snapped when I was 14. I had to learn to survive in rural Michigan without him for 5 whole years (mom died when I was 7). As a 14 year old girl, I couldn't do half the stuff he could at first. I had to drop out of school to take care of the farm full time, but I was never able to bring in the kind of money he did. Half our livestock was cut, half the farm hands, half our crops; it was still too much for me to take care of. It was around a year into things where I started to draw as a way to escape, so I drew the one thing I wanted as a traumatized 15 year old girl: Death.

I started to draw Death as this beautiful yet unsettling woman, this beauty who kept rejecting me at every turn, no matter how much I begged. I started drawing myself next to her, pleading for her loving embrace, but she would always turn her back on me. This kept up until I was 17, at that point I'd been working the farm full time for a few years, and I'd just... gotten bitter. I'd already been numb, and the anger started to boil up. I realized how pathetic I was to grovel at Death's feet like that when she wouldn't give me the time of day. I realized this self-hatred wasn't healthy, it was something my dad always told me after mom died. Telling himself he could've done more to save mom. I tried to live by his example, but i couldn't-...I couldn't let that anger go like he did.

So I drew *him.* In my place, I drew Thanos. And all of the hate and loathing I had built up for myself had a new outlet. I made *him* pathetic, and weak, and sad, and a loser who begged for death's embrace. I made HIM the one who was rejected by her at every turn.

By now you probably figured I'm burning the candle at both ends at this point, and you'd be right. I was. I wasn't sleeping well, I barely talked to anybody. I had half the food I grew, the money I made from the other half, and Mr. Binkles 🐈

Then dad came back. At least for a moment, then he was gone again. For good, this time. No Iron Man to bring him back. Fuck cancer.

I continued working the farm as he got worse. Physically, it wasn't any different than when he was gone, but I had a little more emotional support than not. So that was nice, I guess. Before he died, he asked me what I wanted to actually do with my life. He knew farming took a toll on me, and emotionally I was at my limit with it. So he asked me "Darla, sweetie, what do *you* want to do with your life?" And...I couldn't say "I want to kill Thanos over and over again," because who says that? Instead, I said "I want to be a hero. I want to be strong enough to save people, so no one has to live through anything like this ever again. And he said to me "Well, Sweetie, if you're gonna be a hero, be a *real* hero. Don't let your hatred consume you, don't try to act tough or cold, don't be like those Hollywood action stars. **Be strong enough to be gentle.**"

He died that night. A year ago yesterday, in fact. I didn't cry; I'd already cried myself dry at that point. I've been working the farm the last year with the help of my inheritance. It's the only thing I know how to do when things get sticky, but last night...

Mr. Binkles is gone. No body, just...vanished. I don't know where he went, but something inside me just broke. I'm selling the farm, and the house, and I'm moving to New York. I don't know how, but I'm finally going to do what I promised my dad I'd do.

So hi. My name is Darla Matthews, and I'm going to be a god damn Avenger.

Why are we dissing on our heroes who literally save us from evil threats by having them looking for literal CP, AND WHY ARE WE HEROIZING THE LITERAL MURDER ROBOT!!!

This will cover the disastrous personal and professional life of Justin Hammer from the laughable launch of his Hammer drones to his recent infamous jock-strap incident. Stay tuned for updates! Filming starts this month

The SHIELD Files Decryption group has recovered an image of Loki from the encrypted vehicle-camera archives released in the SHIELD data dump.

This frame was captured during the truck pursuit involving Loki escaping a SHIELD facility in the United States. The footage was recorded by a SHIELD vehicle during the chase.

The group is still working to see if they can recover the rest of the recording.

It honestly pains me to see the kind of reception Cross Technologies CEO Darren Cross has been getting online following his altercation in a child’s bedroom with one Scott Lang.

Darren Cross was a dedicated business executive, a man of science, and a true visionary. It just sucks that he got fucking shrunk into oblivion. That’s awful.

And we’re cheering this Lang guy? He’s just a bully who drove a guy’s car into a pool for spite. Darren Cross built a window of opportunity for working class people, while all Scott Lang could do was tear others down.

I heard Hitler was HORRIFIED that the captain would arrive in Berlin [ooc: ignore Bucky)