r/PossumsSleepProgram

Our girl just turned 2, and we have started giving possums more of a try as we have been noticing frequent night wakings. Until recently she would sleep like a rock 730-830 with no wakings and a scheduled nap around noon.

We have been wondering if her sleep needs dropped at 2, or if nightmares have been bothering her, so we have stopped enforcing her daily nap and letting her decide if she wants to go down.

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving, and it's 5pm. She just fell asleep in her grandma's arms about 10 minutes ago. She was up very early today at around 630am which has been her current wake time, and didn't want any naps, and didn't fall asleep on the 30 minute drive to Grandma's.

If the nap was earlier I'd feel okay about it, but it's awfully close to her typical bedtime. We're pretty new to full on possums. What would you guys do? Let her nap as long as she wants? Wake her? Hope she stays asleep until we get home and then put her to bed? A little lost as to what to do.

I feel a bit silly asking this as a 3rd time mum, but my other 2 were so different. They always need to boob or be rocked to sleep.

Anyway I have a 3 month old and noticed she can be put down drowsy but awake for the first nap of the day pretty well. I just have to keep putting her dummy in until she passes out (5-10 minutes). It works 90% of the time. Otherwise I rock her to sleep or lie next to her.

I find as the day goes on its harder to get her to nap/she is more unsettled until the last nap of the day where I have to wear her. Which is fine, this was similar with my other kids.

Is there a way to encourage her to go down drowsy but awake for more naps? I feel almost privileged asking this, but with 2 other kids under 5 in the background it would be great to be able to do less.

Hello! I have an 19 month old who is a delight, and also wakes up frequently through the night. I’ve just night weaned her, and it was pretty easy, honestly. However, she still wakes up crying several (5+) times a night and needs to be cuddled and rocked back to sleep. She has always been this way and we co sleep in the same bed as a result (for me to get as much sleep as possible). We take her outside often, as we live on the west coast in Canada, and are lucky to have a large backyard with trees and a garden. She loves it outside. Inside, we play with puzzles and other Montessori toys and games or she just finds things to entertain herself with. We also go to baby meetups a couple times a week and she’s in daycare 3x a week. Both my partner and I take turns with her.
She generally sleeps 8:30pm-6:30 am and naps 12-1/1:30 with variations of course. She wakes up during naps 1x and gets soothed back to sleep. And her wake ups at night happen after her first sleep cycle and then more and more 2am onwards.
Note: we have had her iron checked and she is fine. We do still give her iron supplements at our pediatrician’s recommendation to see if it helps with sleep (it doesn’t).
Do folks have suggestions as to how we can support her with sleep? Do people have ideas around why she might be waking up so much still at this age?

Thank you!

I’m reaching out to see if I can get some reassurance from other possum’s families that it does get better.

I have a very sweet 5 month old baby boy. He is the centre of our worlds.

He used to be a trooper sleeper, sleeping 7-9 hour stretches. Wild - I know. But when we hit 3 months old, after 11pm they turned into hourly wakes. We co-slept for 3 weeks, until I got sick and my husband placed him in our sidecar crib to sleep. He has since then has been starting the night in his crib and for a few weeks he was only waking up twice at night.

His wake ups are now all over the place. Sometimes it’s hourly, sometimes every 2. I sleep next to him and am able to comfort him easily. He has started rolling around so he seems more comfortable with the space in his crib.

We have been using the possums approach and it really works for our family. I am hoping someone other families might give me some reassurance this will get easier (or have any tips that fall in line with the philosophy).

I have limited family support and I’m really starting to struggle.

I follow the Possums approach and generally follow my 4 months and 3 week olds sleep cues rather than sticking rigidly to wake windows. Her wake windows vary day to day, and we get out every day with the dog, either in the carrier or with her watching from her high-chair attachment, so I don’t think lack of sensory input is an issue.
One thing I’m considering is waking her at the same time every morning. I stopped doing this in the first few months because her bedtime was so variable that I felt I was unnecessarily losing sleep. Now bedtime is consistently around 7:30–8:30pm, and she can sometimes sleep until 9:30am, so I’m wondering whether I should start waking her around 8am.
She’s definitely a low-sleep-needs baby, and non-contact naps are very hit and miss. Sometimes she’ll sleep in the car/pram with no problem, other times she screams until she’s red-faced.
My biggest issue is bedtime. She has occasionally accepted the cot since birth and has had a few nights sleeping through in it, but most nights she ends up in our bed. I feed her to sleep in my arms and transfer her, but she often wakes immediately or within 10 minutes. Sometimes this happens even after as little as 2 hours of daytime sleep.
We have a sidecar cot, and if she wakes, she’ll resist going back to sleep even while feeding until I bring her into the bed. I’ve spent hours battling this before, sometimes until 11pm, and I’m not willing to do that anymore just to get an hour or two in the cot.
For those following Possums: what does this suggest about sleep pressure and bedtime? If she’s having so little daytime sleep, how can she still supposedly not have enough sleep pressure at bedtime? And would waking her at a consistent time in the morning help?
Any advice/experiences would be really appreciated!

My baby is 6 weeks and a day old. She grunts a lot while sleeping especially the ones in the early morning after 3AM.

I put her on the crib at 9:30 PM so that she is in her deep sleep. Until then she sleeps on me for an hour or so. Then wakes for feed, burps and back to crib.

But after then2AM or 3 AM feed there is a lot of grunting which is periodically every 10 mins. Sometimes it stops and she is asleep. Sometimes it’s too loud she wakes up crying from the grunting and squirming.

Yesterday night was a bit diffeeent. She had a dissociative evening where she would fall asleep and wake in 10 mins and she used to be active then shin fall asleep. Due to the over tiredness she needed comfort at night so did contact sleeping at 12:30 AM and thought she was in deep sleep and put her in crib. But boy she was loudly grunting and squirming which woke her up. She had grunts even after I picked her up and was walking with her.

Has anyone experienced this?

I will have pretty big contex here as i am SO DESPERATE for help.

My baby boy used to sleep through the night with only one wake or none up until three and a half months at that time he was a bad day sleeper but at night was amazing. Having i. Mind he had a bedtime routine and slept swaddled after turning 1 month he began sleeping in the Snoo however had no major issues when sleeping in regular bassinet. Only thing that would wake him was gas which is not an issue anymore. Also taking in rwgard he would fall asleep either by rocking or jumping on the pilates ball (it tool 30 secs literally)

However around the three and a half month mark he began being harder to settle and having more frequent wakes, at some point i moved him to sleep in bed with me which helped at the beginning but after a week or so made no more difference. I started him on strict daytime schedule waking up at 7am having 2 hr wake window then a 1hr nap from 9-10 than a 2 hour nap from 12-2pm (during which i would resettle a couple of times) and final nap at 4:30-5:00pm and bedtime around 7:30 sometimes 8 pm. Also tried adding a fourth nap eventually and adjusting bedtime to 8:30-9pm. I tried making the wake window longer/shorter, however whatever i do it does not change the end result of him waking up constantly. First of with a bunch of false starts sometimes after 30/45 or 50 mins then sometimes he got in a 2 hour strech but sometimes its only an hour. Only after 12am does he actually have 2-2.5hr streches. Also, getting him down at the beginning of the night takes a minute but for all the other wakes he feels me getting on the bed and laying him down and if not asleep enough he starts hitting around with his hands and immediately wakes. At this point i dont even know when he wakes because of hunger or something else so i offer the boob whenever convinient. Past three nights he wakes up after an hour of sleep and just screams whether he is being held rocked or bounced on the pilates ball. Tonight i tried letting him cry it out after i was unable to get him back to sleep but it resulted in constant screaming for 40 minutes to the point that when i went in to get him he was swollen from crying.

His daytime sleep has gotten a lot better he can do an hour strech without resettling and is able to fall asleep in the stroller which did not use to be a case. He has around 3.5 hour daytime sleep and i try to have wakeup time at 7 am but je usually wakes up around 6/6:30 and i just cant handle im too tired so i have to get him back to sleep which sometimes results in 8am wake up.

Also, when he was a small baby just returning the paci would help resettle, now it does nothing 🥹

What should I do?? Please help 🥺

We live in eastern Canada and for a while now the days have been getting significantly shorter, meaning we wake up before the sun rises, and start our day in the dark. I try to follow the possum approach as much as possible, but I also adhere to wake windows. My 11 month old needs at least 3.5-3.75 hours awake per wake window to go down easy and sleep well. Being still on a two nap schedule that means he wakes at 6 and goes to bed around 8-8:30. Waking him up past 6 am pushes our schedule towards a later bedtime that just isn’t ideal for us. Baby usually wakes on his own around 6 am, but sometimes I’ll have to wake him (rare) but I do feel that even when he wakes on his own, he may be wanting to go back to sleep with a little help. Maybe I’m projecting, but I personally DESPISE waking up before sunrise, and I feel like it’s bad for our circadian rhythms to do so. So it feels kinda cruel to have my baby start his day and start playing in a pitch dark living room only lit by artificial lights… so I’m asking my fellow scientifically inclined parents: how do you cope with diminished sunlight? Do you shift baby’s schedule later to follow the sun in the morning? Or am I making a mountain out of nothing?

Bonjour,
Je cherche surtout des témoignages de parents qui ont vécu quelque chose de similaire, parce que je ne sais plus trop s’il faut que je lâche prise ou si je peux encore mettre certaines choses en place progressivement.
Ma fille va avoir 8 mois lundi. Elle est allaitée depuis sa naissance (principalement au sein, avec quelques biberons pour qu’elle garde l’habitude avant son entrée chez la nounou la semaine prochaine). Je reprends également le travail fin octobre, donc forcément la question du sommeil commence à pas mal me travailler.
Depuis sa naissance, elle n’a jamais vraiment eu d’endormissement autonome. Et avec le recul, je me demande parfois si j’ai créé cette habitude ou si c’était simplement son tempérament.
Dès la maternité, elle avait énormément besoin d’être contre moi. J’ai fait beaucoup de peau à peau au départ, notamment pour favoriser la montée de lait, et ça me paraissait complètement naturel de répondre à son besoin de contact. J’essayais quand même de la poser dans son berceau, parfois avec succès pendant de petites périodes, mais ça ne durait jamais très longtemps.
À la maison, ça a continué comme ça. J’ai toujours essayé de la poser, notamment dans son cododo, mais elle a traversé différentes phases. Vers 2-3 mois, épuisée, j’ai aussi eu des périodes où j’ai beaucoup plus accepté les siestes de contact et le sommeil près de moi. Elle a ensuite repris progressivement son cododo.
Entre-temps, nous avons eu plusieurs déménagements, puis la canicule cet été qui nous a obligés à dormir parfois dans le salon… Bref, son environnement de sommeil n’a pas toujours été très stable.
Depuis un mois, nous sommes enfin installés durablement. J’ai voulu remettre tout de suite un cadre : au bout de quelques jours, toutes ses siestes se faisaient dans son lit à barreaux et c’est toujours le cas aujourd’hui. Plus de siestes de contact. Elle accepte également très bien son lit pour le début de nuit et, assez bizarrement, depuis qu’elle connaît son lit à barreaux, elle ne veut quasiment plus de son cododo.
Le problème reste l’endormissement : il faut impérativement l’accompagner. Bercement dans le rocking-chair ou debout, puis transfert une fois endormie. Parfois la pose fonctionne du premier coup, parfois il faut recommencer une ou deux fois.
Ses siestes sont très variables. Elle a eu de très belles périodes avec des siestes d’1h, 1h30, parfois même autour de 2h. En ce moment, certaines ne font plus que 35-45 minutes.
La nuit, elle dort donc la première partie dans son lit, mais se réveille encore généralement toutes les 3h environ, parfois 4h. Et à presque 8 mois, elle ne “fait” donc toujours pas ses nuits.
Il y a quelques jours, j’ai découvert une méthode basée davantage sur le rythme circadien, avec des horaires de siestes proposés autour de certaines fenêtres dans la journée et un coucher relativement tôt. J’ai essayé sans être à la minute près.
Et là, énorme surprise : après la première journée, elle a dormi presque 6 heures d’affilée la nuit suivante. C’est exceptionnel chez elle.
Depuis, j’essaie de garder approximativement les mêmes repères, mais les journées ne se ressemblent évidemment pas et ce n’est pas toujours simple. En plus, ma fille montre assez peu ses signes de fatigue. Quand elle commence vraiment à se frotter les yeux ou à manifester qu’elle est fatiguée, j’ai parfois l’impression qu’il est déjà trop tard. Elle est un peu pareille pour la faim : elle manifeste franchement quand elle a déjà très faim.
Je ne sais donc absolument pas si ces presque 6h étaient liées au changement de rythme ou si c’était une énorme coïncidence.
Et hier, j’ai probablement voulu changer trop de choses à la fois. J’ai tenté de travailler un peu l’endormissement autonome.
Je l’ai bercée jusqu’à ce qu’elle soit somnolente puis je l’ai posée dans son lit encore éveillée. Je suis restée juste à côté d’elle et je lui répétais doucement que c’était l’heure de dormir. Comme prévu, elle s’est mise à ramper, se relever, etc. Jusque-là aucun problème.
Elle a ensuite commencé à pleurer. Je m’attendais à ce qu’elle proteste un peu et j’étais prête à l’accompagner, mais ça a fini en énormes sanglots, jusqu’à avoir presque des haut-le-cœur. Avec son papa, ça nous a fait beaucoup trop mal au cœur et nous avons tout arrêté. Je l’ai reprise et endormie comme d’habitude.
Je m’en suis énormément voulu après coup et je n’ai pas envie de recommencer de cette manière.
Du coup, j’aimerais vraiment avoir des expériences de parents qui sont passés par là.
Est-ce que certains avaient encore à 8 mois un bébé allaité qui avait besoin d’être bercé/endormi dans les bras et se réveillait plusieurs fois par nuit ?
Avez-vous réussi à diminuer l’accompagnement très progressivement, sans passer par une phase de gros pleurs ? Si oui, concrètement, comment avez-vous procédé et sur combien de temps ?
Est-ce que certains ont constaté une vraie différence en stabilisant simplement les horaires de réveil/siestes/coucher, sans travailler spécifiquement l’endormissement autonome ?
Et surtout : est-ce que certains ont simplement… lâché prise ? 😅 Attendu que leur bébé soit prêt, même avec la reprise du travail, et vu les choses évoluer naturellement avec le temps ?
Je crois que je suis surtout perdue entre tout ce qu’on lit et entend : les conseils, les méthodes, les réseaux sociaux, les programmes qu’on nous vend… et la réalité de notre propre bébé.
Une partie de moi se dit : “Elle a 8 mois, elle ne fait pas ses nuits, certains bébés sont comme ça et ça finira par passer.”
Et l’autre se raccroche à cette fameuse nuit de presque 6h consécutives en se disant : “Mais peut-être qu’il y a quand même quelque chose à ajuster et qu’on peut l’aider.”
Je serais vraiment intéressée par vos expériences, y compris celles de parents pour qui aucune méthode miracle n’a fonctionné. 🙂