r/TGandSissyRecovery

Hey everyone, I'm a 40 year old man in a loving relationship with a girl who is a few years younger. We've been together for 5 years now, we live together, and we're talking about having kids.

I've been into sissy stuff for a long time, I used to dress up all the time while I was living alone, but I never really had any sexual experiences with men.

My girlfriend doesn't know this about me, and I'm not planning on telling her. I'm sure she would be understanding, but she likes my manly side, and I'm not interested in being feminine around her.

When we started dating I basically forgot all about the sissy stuff for a couple of years, but recently I started getting back into it a lot. I don't dress up and I don't have any sissy stuff where we live, but I've been watching a lot more porn and hypnos.

Our relationship is great. The sex is fine, but it's a bit boring for me. I mean, when we have sex I'm into it, I don't think about men or whatever, but I would definitely like to do more interesting stuff. She thinks the sex is great and I'm not planning on making her do things she's not into, because I think that there's nothing less sexy than a girl doing something she doesn't really like, but she will do it because the guy likes it. I would rather have ok sex that we both like.

But I mean, I got like two blowjobs during the last five years 🤷

Anyway, I guess I would just like to hear from people who are in situation similar to mine, maybe talk a bit..

I'm definitely not planning on destroying the best relationship that I've ever had just so that I could cum wearing panties, but the though of going for the rest of my life WITHOUT trying some of the things I fantasize about is also kind of scary....

Hi.. I'm 18 and I guess for as long as I can remember my mind would keep going to stuff that makes me feel weak or submissive. At its worst, I tried on my sister's things and then stopped because I felt guilty. I have been pretty good at stopping myself from thinking about it or letting myself watch stuff for a while, but I'm starting college now and it feels really hard.

I should be thinking about getting a girlfriend and going to the gym and joining clubs, but instead my confidence is shot and I just keep remembering stuff I saw in porn. It's embarrassing.

Hello, I’ve been addicted to this feminization fetish for a long time. I’ve never liked my body because I’m morbidly obese, so I have this fantasy of being forced against my will to become a woman and be humiliated. I never imagine sex—my fantasy only involves the psychological aspect.
But recently it made me question my sexuality. I started to fear that I might be gay or bi, but at the same time I feel disgust when I think about having sex with a man. So I kept testing myself by watching videos of gay and bi porn to see if I get a boner, but it didn’t happen. Still, I felt so anxious that I thought I could have gotten a boner, even though I never did.
Most of the porn content I consume comes from a creator called Devin Dickie, and it’s basically comics. Some of those comics did turn me on. I generally just skipped the sex scenes and went straight to the humiliation aspects of the story. But now I’m addicted to testing myself. I feel so anxious looking at the gay sex scenes to see if my dick responds.
I started having intrusive gay thoughts. Sometimes it makes me sick, like I’m about to vomit, and sometimes it makes me want to cry.
I don’t know what I am anymore. I feel so pathetic. I just wanted to vent to someone who might understand what I feel

If you want to have children, for yourself, your family to continue, for the experience you had as a child to be repeated by someone related to you and your chosen mate who will be also enjoying life as much or more than you did.

Every one of those kids. Imagine them, like 5, sitting there. Wondering what year they will be born, what is obstructing their human incarnation on to the planet.

It's you in lingerie sucking dick. "Sorry kiddo, maybe you'll be born in 5-10 years when I'm done with this hobby."

If that doesn't land, keep going.

-I'm saying if you can visualize a family you want to have , also visualize how such engagements as these (those manufactured by the Internet and it's users) put a literal stop sign or countdown-clock on such a family. And if it's a clock, it resets every time you do.

Let it time out. Remove blocks to your incoming future. Recognize that Choosing Not to Change is Consent for the Future where you are still ..... Let's say childless.

Severely alternatively, you eventually maintain the habit until your kids are old enough to ask you about it. They will expect only good, virtue, in their innocence. You will have no innocent answers.

But I expect that is not a possible possibility. In order to describe the phenomenon innocently, it has to be perceived of as cultural and natural. I don't think any of us here can construe these activities as cultural or natural since they are inclined to be contradictory to fertility and partnership with the lady to be the mother of your children.

Therefore it is not a culture. It cannot persist across generations without disrupting the generations themselves.

It's more like being a pet. And a pet has no self determination over their life quality or outcomes such as whom will be alive to love you in 10, 20, 30 years. Typically that is only family, which cannot be generated throughout this hobby.

I expressed with this verbage and diction to portray from one side of things how it looks if your end game is to be a person who is a parent.

Anybody who wants to carry these activities into their lives as parents has an American right to do so. I'm just trying to point out that it would be so totally difficult to pursue that in a way that generates a family. Basically if your gay identity is this and you want kids, you will have to explain that to them in order to be a good parent. If you want to not be a trans woman married to a woman and have kids, then probably end these hobbies.

Seriously, if you want kids you have to think of what to tell them if this continues. That you are gay, bi, or a woman. And mommy supports it somehow.

Given the above seems very unlikely, consider the actions now create a future you will occupy eventually as your life continues and time passes. Much love to all

All this comes from personal experience. I'm not inclined to say more in this post

This past week I fell back into sissy porn. Mainly on discord. I keep asking forgiveness and turning around and going right back to it. Idk if this is a test or a trial or what it is. But I got a few messages from people from this group and I can't tell the difference between the ones that want to help and the ones that want to take advantage. I just don't understand i know this is my fault and I'm intentionally giving in but this same problem was way less when I was in a worse position in life. I just don't understand but I really want to stop.

(This is a new account for privacy reasons, also this is my first time writing a post in English so I might miss a word or two)

Im 18m and I’ve been struggling with porn sissy/femboy/futa etc for two years now. I know I’m not gay. It’s like I’m two different people I’m not one of those fat people that fap all day. At day I workout read books I train 10 times per week I go out with friends I don’t even think about it. but every time I try to sleep or it’s just late and everybody asleep it’s like I can’t control it I did for so long I couldn’t sleep without it I tried to quit so many times but I just crave the feeling of calm after.

It’s so crazy to me because when I look at the mirror I see “Alfa male” but in my head I feel like I’m so weak. I have tried to quit so many times I have no idea why I like sissy porn so much I don’t even remember the last time I watched regular porn. The thing is I can go weeks without doing it as long as I’m not in my home like on vacation and stuff.

I saw a lot of people saying that watching sissy porn has a connection to a traumatic event let’s just say I went through a lot growing up. Does anybody relate? I need someone to talk to.

That is my deepest secret I never told anyone I think I need Sirius help I don’t know what to do.(sry for my bad grammar I really need to fix that to)

Good day gentlemen. I hope you are all keeping well and fighting on strong in your own recoveries. What I am about to post is incredibly controversial, but out of conscience, I am pushed to do so, because I believe it is the truth. I do not doubt that there are trans or homosexual people, and I have nothing against them, what I will argue however is that this rampant rise and spike in the numbers, consciousness of society, the push by medicine, media, and psychology, and confusion in hundreds of thousands of men over their sexuality, to me indicates that this is not a natural trend.

I recommend that you watch “Mark Passio - The Satanic Epi-Eugenics agenda.” Watch parts 1 and 2. This is not easy information to take in, you will HAVE to be willing to change your point of view to even touch sides with some of this information, but it is the best information I have come across to deconstruct what trends are taking place in the world at the moment. Especially the information on Tavistock (accused of social engineering), whose clinic was shut down for the unethical behaviour of putting children on puberty blockers (with minimal evidence to back it up), Mark’s information seems to be consistent. It is not hard to see there is an agenda and these are not natural trends that we’re facing. Essentially what this comes down to is a war on the human mind, to weaken men and society as a whole, it is a form of social engineering. Make of it what you will, and decide for yourself. You can laugh at it, generally, truth is unbelievable. But I urge you to keep an open mind and watch this, it is at least worth considering. This information for me, has completely changed my view on what is happening to many men suffering from this stuff, and I believe it is the truth. Much love brothers and take care.

Edit: even Reddit flagged this post and gave my account a warning for “hate speech against vulnerable groups” if that’s not further reason to look into the information I have provided, than I don’t know what is. Take care brothers.

Hi I'm new here. I struggled with crossdressing and masturbstion since I was 12. I dressed up in secret and only been with a man once. I've always been hesitant to really explore this because it was always taboo in my family and I understand why now. But now I've been a Christian for the past 10 years I'm really really trying to depend on God more and become the man he created me to be. But now I'm living in a environment where I struggle to follow God because my family are all non believers and constantly use the lord's name in vain. I also have a new job and I'm working 40+ hours a week just to hopefully be able to get my life finally started. I keep falling back into the videos and the masturbstion and even when I pray and ask for help and forgiveness it feels like nothings happening. It's like the devil is constantly throwing these thoughts in my mind and I really want to give in to them but I know not too. I really need help. Idk what to do. I'm honestly considering falling into it. But I really want to follow Jesus.

I have kind of been down this rabbit hole a little bit- since I was like 18, and am 28 now.

Started off with dressing when I was younger without porn, then some porn, then a decent amount and more from there.

Although I have stepped away from porn- although little dips here and there. There is a lot of improvement in this area- just appears to be times that I do again- but mostly when I want to master bate it is without the use of porn.

I have been struggling when it comes to identity to some regard. Part of me thinks I could be transgender- or just enjoy wearing female clothing. Sometimes a sexual part can be pretty overstimulating and urges to engage in anal sex- which I enjoy also.

Although I enjoy the aspects of female dressing, and attempting to gain some type of androgynous body. There is shame associated- but its mostly external. Like family members not approving of me, society considering me to be "wrong" or "demonic" because the idea of me does not entirely fit the binary of fully man. Then although I am not religious- there is an religious perspective that comes in, that sometimes puts me into a fear place where if I explore becoming a women that god will punish me.

It is tough. I recognize there is a sexual part- although would a women not want to engage in sex with a man, or another women with a strap on? I know there is a part that is entirely enjoying being in my feminine energy, dressing etc. Feels healing, safe, and more like me.

It is a battle- I know there are plenty in this community that have been down this road. Perhaps are more comfortable going back to being "manly", or have found a way to integrate their "feminine" like desires- without engaging in porn and overstimulation sexually.

There has been a perspective of alchemy that has crossed my mind- similar to Carl Jung and the idea of the hermaphrodite that calls to me. Like merging both my masculine and feminine- even if I perhaps steer more towards an external identification of feminine attributes and dress- and feels like it could be a beautiful thing for me if I find a way to rid of the shame of externalized belief systems- and the people around me that wouldnt be good supports.

Although there is a part of me that feels there's a spiritual story involved- like some governing society, or external party attempting to feminize men for some power or greed kind of control. Or ideas of someone around me trying to do that- like a narcissist trying to create me to be submissive for some harmful intent. I recognize that not working through the shame or finding my path through this could create the mind to create many different stories to support "why" I can't be "this" way. Although seeking the truth of the matter appears difficult.

There are even stories of like Horus/Set that call to me- like Horus becoming one of the gods, and set attempting to dominate him to "show his power". Stories of Uranus and being castrated- taking away his "masculinity". Although thinking of stories like this- and some plan to emasculate or harm me in that way- just saddens me. I wish to be in a world that each person could be however they want- wear what they want- be how they want; just not harm each other. Just appears that is not what the world currently is- and I worry about some harmful attempt as to why I should not "allow" myself to follow a path of embracing my femininity just because I am meant to be more identified with this "male" character- that doesn't even seem to fit what I aspire to be- which I suppose could also be conditioning in its own. Even my trait of a support person identifies with wanting to be feminine- I am a therapist that works with youth with autism, and I want to be a healer, and someone that is nurturing and can help people along their journey so we can all find our way on this path.

This area just seems to be tricky with being able to fully find my way through this mental maze. When I "purge" and try to fully be a manly person it does not fit well, and I have not had a safe space to fully identify or see what it would be like to identify with the feminine side of myself. There are times I feel really comfortable in my masculinity, but even then- it recognizes this feminine aspects I feel also- and just wants to protect it from the mean people of this world. Like I can be that manly character when need be- but knowing that I adore the part of myself that is more soft and feminine.

Idek this is long. whoever read this - thank you. Perhaps someone may have a similar ideology and perhaps can share some wisdom of their own journey.

xo

I am a straight male, 31, who is having difficulty shaking cross dressing and sissy thoughts. I have been on and off doing it for the last 10 years. I want to stop but at the same time I’ve never felt more alive when I’m doing it and it just feels right. I’ve never done anything with a man but I would be lieing if I said I haven’t thought about it.

As I am getting older I’m starting to think that maybe it’s not just a phase or sexual desire or whether it’s the real me being blocked out through embarrassment.

Is there any one else in the same boat and what is the best way to realise who I actually am?

TIA

This will be a short post. I've let this fetish have a strong hold on me for so long and I really bought in to a lot of the rhetoric about it being dark and powerful stuff.

I've just seen a video of a 50 something year old man in a terrible wig and comically stupid outfit proclaiming that his purpose is "to be a sissy and worship cock." If it wasn't for the majority of sissy content being centred around conventionally attractive trans women who've been on hormones for years with pounds of makeup on, if we all could truly visualise how freakish and off putting the average person who participates in this fetish seems to a regular person, I think we'd all have a much easier time of quitting.

The idea of that being my future is so terrifying that I think I might finally be able to quit this stuff. I'd honestly rather die. It was nauseating to watch.

I took his hands put it inside my pants, he touched my d*ck, and I tried a kiss, my tongue touched his face, and nothing more happened, it was a public bathroom, so he told we will do it after sometime, I feel like heavy guilt. I am a virgin, yet this is the first time I have been touched and I allowed it. This guilt is eating me. I feel like a man, as I did this after such long time, but this was very intense and I was not in control.