r/TGandSissyRecovery

Before I begin, sorry in advance for the messy text below, im literally saying whatever comes to mind. So expect a mix of a relapse report and advise-ish post. Not sure if its the correct way of saying it or if I should post this here or anywhereat all, but I needed to say this. Oh and also, English isn't my main language so sorry in advance.

After being for about 3 months away from all sissy related stuff I'm starting to fall back into it. I feel ashamed saying this, after all, I thought I had left this side of myself in the past.

I now know that what has made me fall back again and again (yes, sadly I've relapsed a few times now, about 4 to be precise) is stress, the need of attention, boredom, and adding to all of that being horny. The issue is that despite knowing what has made me relapse, I can't find a way to avoid it, I mean, yeah one can find ways to manage stress (by either reducing the source or getting used to it), find ways to feel important to someone (finding a woman that likes you or being with your friends more), and can even workout or find new hobbies to reduce both the horniness and boredom, but man, it seems there's a limit to what one can handle.

I'm 25 and a uni student, so yeah I'm not in the best spot I could be at at my age, but man, I've done what I can to move on and improve. I've managed to improve my stress tolerance but I think that I've gone over that limit now, I'm currently doing two engineering mayor at two different universities, this semester I'm coursing 8 classes and trying to apply to a master degree, and let me tell you, after this week I feel exhausted. Im not saying that I'm sad or anything of that type, but I do feel like I want to scape all this and relax, sadly that way seems to be the sissy stuff.

I've tried going out with friends and going out with women on dates but I recently feel something is missing and I hate it. Until a week ago I felt great, yeah I was stressed but felt good, now, I just want to feel like that again, and not feel the need of being a sissy or doing anything sissy related.

I recently started to search for gay saunas near me, and found one at a nearby city, and what worries me the most is that I've started to think of actually going there and being a complete slut. I feel ashamed of saying that I started to feel an urge of sucking cock and being fucked. Man I want to feel straight again, but why can't I get that urge off my head?

Im not sure what to do about it, as my racional part of me knows what the right call is, but the horny and fucked up part of me is slowly winning this argument and it's worrying the crap out of me.

To whomever is going or starting to feel like they are relapsing, please try to hold on, don't let yourselves get pulled in, yeah im not one to say so, but trust me, if you're able to fight it, do it. Doing sports help a lot (sadly I don't have time for it at the moment) and also go out with your palls specially when you feel you're starting to slip (again I can't do so hahah... fuck).

Sorry for the long rant, I really needed to say this somewhere. Anyway, thanks for reading this mumbo jumbo of feelings and thoughts, hope you're not going through the same situation as me, and if so, don't let this shit controll you or get you down, if its worth something I believe in you, so chear up mate :)

For the longest time I knew those fantasies arose (in my case anyway) from the way I tend to see myself around others, especially other males. It's like I'm stuck in that "shy lonely kid" stage. Any attempt at connecting with other guys ends in shame and the urge to cut ties because of my inferiority complex. These days I want to really try new things, even if that sounds ridiculous. I've started practicing imagined interactions with guys (e.g. at the gym) alone in my room, with a camera, in the hope that I can work with the discomfort and shame in a very dialed down version.

I've also made a selfie and I asked ChatGPT to add a friend to the picture. It's quite brutal. I could never imagine having a "best buddy". The gap between the picture and the actual "me" seems infinite.

I painfully understand how girls/women, and femininity in general, quickly became a safe haven to me when 99% of the boys I interacted with at school felt like brutes, and even when they weren't, after a certain age they just grew into young men while I still felt like a kiddo. And that's how you develop AGP and sissy fantasies, while being a fundamentally cis/straight male.

Does anyone relate? Do you have other ideas of exercises I could try? I sometimes try to do visualization as well, and I don't think I've managed to see myself once (even for a short time) as a normal dude interacting with other dudes. It's crazy.

Triggerwarning, since this is my experience of hitting my personal rock bottom just a couple of hours ago, but I wont be too graphically. Sorry if my thoughts are quiet messy by now.

It sounds made up for sure, but It was real and so are my struggles and emptines after this...

First of all I'm not a native english speaker, so sorry for some grammar mistake or a minimalistic vocabulary.

Over the last 8 Years I struggled with the sissy fetish, grew out of insecurity, curiosity and a sort of wrong safetines but never really "commited" too much.

But I never popped the bubble and actually sexually interfered with another person (in this sissy persona).

Sadly I was incredibly horny for the last couple of days and decided to chat with other people on Grindr were I stumbled on a couple (Transwoman and her bf). I decided to text them playfully which led to discussing a threesome.

Without being too detailed, we transformed the plans to reality, both were honestly very kind towards me, but the longer it went, the more disgusted I felt towards me.

Now I'm just feeling empty, yet my head is full of chaos and thoughts and I have this indiscribable disgusting taste in my mouth even after brushing my teeth like a maniac.

Idk what to do and how to continue tomorrow like a normal functional adult as the "me" I was confortable in.

I'll throw away all the items and clothes and what so ever, but I would like to know what you could advice me after falling in such a pit, full of shame and disgust towards me.

Please help me I fell lost ...

About 200 days ago, I posted here about wanting to quit this "lifestyle." I'm not completely past it yet, but things are getting better, and I wanted to share what's changed and what has helped.

Where I was
In 2025 and the start of 2026, I went through an intense phase:
- Masturbating daily, sometimes multiple times a day
- Generating a huge number of AI images of myself in all sorts of outfits and situations, which took up a lot of my time and attention
- Crossdressing, posting pictures of myself online, and chatting with people
- Meeting up with men twice for sexual encounters
- Spending a LOT of time thinking about who I am and whether I should transition

What changed and what helped
Eventually, the whole thing started to feel boring. A couple of things still get me going, but overall it's fading, almost as if I've done and seen everything.

Over time, the conversations with strangers online started to feel repetitive. They followed the same patterns, and I couldn't keep convincing myself they were real connections. At the end of the day, it was just kink play.

I also untangled some of my thinking. I believe trans women exist and are valid, but for a long time I had this odd internal logic: if I wasn't trans, then it somehow didn't make sense for anyone else to be either. I know that sounds strange. I also eventually noticed was that those thoughts only showed up when I was aroused, and that I had a pretty distorted idea of what being a woman actually is. I've come to see that some men, like me, are a bit more feminine and submissive than others, and that's okay too.

Recognizing that porn addiction was a big part of what fueled all of this was a turning point. I uninstalled the apps, and even though I still reinstall them now and then, it's far less than before.

Identifying my triggers helped a lot too: weed, boredom, stress, and bad days at work. Just this week, I was feeling down. Before, I probably would have stayed home and gotten lost in the kink. This time, I went out for drinks with friends instead.

More than anything, I focused on understanding the origins and mechanisms behind all of this rather than trying to purge everything overnight.

To give a sense of the change, I'm now down to masturbating once or twice a week. At my peak, I was dressing up three or four times a week. In the last four months, it's been about four times total.

I'm now considering donating my (very large) clothing collection. I held on to it because many people here said purging never actually helped them, and that matched my own experience. Now it feels like letting go might come from a calmer place.

My main takeaway is that I was never able to get my AGP under control as long as I was fighting it without understanding it.

What I've been focusing on instead
I've been putting my energy into sports and hiking, cooking, and being a better, more thoughtful friend. I've started dressing better and practicing talking to women. Recently, a woman actually approached me, which felt surreal, and I think the energy I give off has changed too. Overall, I'm enjoying and rediscovering everything else life has to offer.

The next challenge
This is where a new battle starts. Almost a decade of this, especially the last three years of being deep in it and avoiding relationships, has left me genuinely scared of women. It feels like I'm carrying a big secret that I don't want to disclose to, or impose on, a partner. But now that I'm getting it under control and that it's fading away, I'll allow myself to get back into dating.

Has anyone else been through something similar?

I finally learned that for me most of this addiction is stress relief. But I've been praying over and over for God to take this desire away and he hasn't done it. Right now I'm severely frustrated and I can feel the thoughts in my mind telling me that engaging in this sin will make me feel better. I know the thoughts are lying and engaging in this will just make me feel worse and more likely to do it again. Am I supposed to just suffer through this constantly?

So there's an extreme amount of backstory to my situation, as I've been diligently researching it not only for myself, but to help save my 2 year relationship with my GF.

I had a really bad masturbation addiction that I've seemingly been able to kick, but porn still has a hold on me especially after recent events.

My GF was originally very open to actually letting me dress up and potentially explore femdom stuff, but realized she was disgusted by it and sort of withdrew that space I was able to experiment with,band doesn't give any quarter to anything of the nature. The bitch of it is that there wasn't any thoughts of going and getting fucked by guys or anything. It was genuinely just to dress and to offload my stress for awhile.

Never has the sissy stuff really been attached to men themselves, I couldn't ever find men attractive and I still really can't, the way I worked around this most the time was futanari, which is fortunately impossible. UNfortunately, the and sissy stuff is. And without a non-sexual outlet or masturbating to impossible things, it seems to have taken the form of doubling down on the very real ideas of going and getting feminized by someone, actually connecting and seeking out those things.

We have things left over from when we were experimenting (and actually having a sort of wholesome fun) and recently, for some reason I had been possessed to go and put on/in certain toys, a pair of thigh highs, and this chain necklace that you can pull that gets tighter like it's a collar (my girlfriend bought it "for the free shipping" on Amazon, it's 'ours' in a way)

And I actually POSED and TOOK PHOTOS.

I have NEVER done that, and have had an absolute rule that NOTHING like that ever happen. It happened once when I was really young, an ex during sophomore year dressed me up and took a photo, showing her sister. It felt like I had literally been shot it hurt that bad. So the fact I just DID THAT and didn't even flinch is terrifying to me. It felt like a dream, it was surreal and yet if you didn't know better you'd think it was business as usual.

I can post more talking about how we got here and what the journey has been since starting truly working on this, but I think that's all I care to share right now. I can't sleep as I had a dream about being a sissy. I work tomorrow man ;_;

Hello, let me first start by saying this is not coming from a judgmental place nor am I trying to make you guys feel bad or criticize/ go down the I hate men all male spaces are misogynistic etc etc point we all know too well, I understand as someone who has not had nor gone thru this certain addiction obviously I’m not going to fully understand it but that’s what discussion is for, but I personally think an initial introduction to sissy fetishization content comes from an initial misogynistic view of the female body and role in society, autogynophilia and addictions like this will always be present in heavily patriarchal environments and headspace’s, again I wasn’t raised or around male only intimate spaces but from what I’ve heard from peers and seen from research misogyny as well as the viewing of the female body as inferior almost starts immediately as the brain learns to gather information, I am not saying you are all inherently misogynistic it’s rather a socialization thing from birth normalized language peers, older men/ women, the media, etc specifically tells boys there is a certain way you should view the female body i think that sissy hypno as well as other forms of feminized fetishization is in the degradation category of porn rather then the gay category, I don’t think really any of you are homosexual men or have homosexual tendencies because the initial introduction to this content centers around the objectification of the female role and body in society and if you are what were your first signs? this particularly fetish has to come from the initial view that women are objectively inferior to men in almost every way physically and mentally, I am aware that many female hobbies and forms of expression are inherently viewed as sexual due to patriarchal domination, my question to you gentleman what about being a woman is degrading/exciting, why are female/feminine traits, dress, language and expression viewed as so degrading and erotic? I feel like you men are victims, but not victims necessarily the sissy porn itself, I feel a great first step to break away from this habit you do have to unpack misogyny as well as your view of the female body, like I don’t think it is the literal porn itself because acts and practices of degrading men by placing them in female roles for the purpose of sexual gratification has existed way before the creation of sissy porn vids or that category, I’ve seen similar inverses where women will go through gender transition but not because they feel an incongruous with biological sex and expression but because of an internal hatred of the female body due to sexualization, internalized misogyny and fetishization, i think if you just cold turkey stop jerking off to sissy porn it won’t really do anything until you combat why do you view the female body as inferior I read a lot of “I’m not gay” or “why can’t I get hard and fuck real women” or the whole dirty secret clean conscious thing but I don’t hear a lot of men talking about misogyny aspect to this fetish and again I’m not very informed of the history of this type of content nor am I’m addiction counseling for it so I don’t know what its like first hand but would love to have discussions with you guys