u/Ok_Appointment9429

For the longest time I knew those fantasies arose (in my case anyway) from the way I tend to see myself around others, especially other males. It's like I'm stuck in that "shy lonely kid" stage. Any attempt at connecting with other guys ends in shame and the urge to cut ties because of my inferiority complex. These days I want to really try new things, even if that sounds ridiculous. I've started practicing imagined interactions with guys (e.g. at the gym) alone in my room, with a camera, in the hope that I can work with the discomfort and shame in a very dialed down version.

I've also made a selfie and I asked ChatGPT to add a friend to the picture. It's quite brutal. I could never imagine having a "best buddy". The gap between the picture and the actual "me" seems infinite.

I painfully understand how girls/women, and femininity in general, quickly became a safe haven to me when 99% of the boys I interacted with at school felt like brutes, and even when they weren't, after a certain age they just grew into young men while I still felt like a kiddo. And that's how you develop AGP and sissy fantasies, while being a fundamentally cis/straight male.

Does anyone relate? Do you have other ideas of exercises I could try? I sometimes try to do visualization as well, and I don't think I've managed to see myself once (even for a short time) as a normal dude interacting with other dudes. It's crazy.

I'm into bebop, and while I've had periods of time where I felt like I could play good phrases overall, it's never been consistent. I've learned quite a few classic solos and heads by ear, the whole trip: first sing, then play in many different keys, analyze how the phrases are built, tweak them.

I know the concepts, I know the phrases, but it feels like I'm missing something. Should I just keep hammering bits of bebops in all keys? I suspect there is a higher-level approach that leads to a more organic and truly creative bebop language.

It feels like Bud etc didn't really think in terms of learned phrases and patterns (even though they surely had their favorite licks) but rather in terms of target notes that are very clear in their mind, and then the phrases are built as they go to reach those targets in an elegant manner, using whatever chromatic approaches and triplets would fit. When I improvise I have no clear target, and maybe that's why sometimes it lands nicely and sometimes not.

If this analysis is correct, then how do you structure your practice around it? Maybe practice with specific rules, e.g. "aim for the 3rd on beat one" etc?

With the progress in AI, is there anything out there that's able to automatically transcribe music, especially piano parts? I have no problem picking up melodic ideas but harmonies are a pain in the arse. I can spend literally one hour on one bar, because while I detect overall colors easily the chords often sound like inextricable blobs and I'm unable to extract the details. Sometimes even the upper voice gets lost to me depending on what the other instruments are playing. I really don't have the kind of ear that's able to pick things apart quickly. It doesn't help that I'm mainly interested in early-ish jazz, say 40s-60s, and while I love the old sound it's not exactly crystal clear.

Je cherche un club sympa, de préférence pour du kickboxing. Dans Paris ou pas loin. Avez-vous des recommandations ?

Youhou.

Voilà.

Plutôt que dans 5 ans en mode panique à bord sans trop savoir où on va côté effets imprévus.

Un mix de : manipulation d'albedo en surface, aérosols dans la haute atmosphère, épandages pour stimuler la capture de CO2 par le plancton.

Il est évident qu'on ne va pas pouvoir continuer comme ça, même à court terme. Les étés destructeurs vont se succéder, on va droit à l'effondrement.

Il y a une maison à vendre depuis un moment près de chez moi, avec un grand conifère, et un jardin où les adventices ont repris le dessus. Elles se portent globalement bien, on sent que de l'humidité est retenue. Je pense que si on avait davantage de zones sanctuarisées avec un biotope naturel qui peut s'installer, les photos satellites de la France auraient une autre gueule actuellement.

Mais ça suppose de cultiver moins, par exemple en arrêtant d'être des gros viandards : https://www.insee.fr/fr/statistiques/7728859

>En 2020, les cultures fourragères, destinées à l’alimentation des animaux, s'étendent sur 12,6 millions d'hectares, soit 47 % des surfaces agricoles

Mon appart actuel a un balcon qui est "partagé" avec le voisin, il y a juste un panneau de verre dépoli comme séparation. Quelles seraient les solutions à prix raisonnable pour avoir une séparation digne de ce nom, qui coupe bien sûr la vue mais aussi et surtout le son ? Et question subsidiaire : est-ce que je devrais d'abord en parler à la proprio ?

Le climat est un système dynamique, complexe tout ça, et donc on dit qu'il est très sensible aux conditions initiales. Du coup si je comprends bien : je peux prendre un modèle météo, changer un pouillème de paramètre quelque-part, et ça peut partir dans une direction totalement différente ?

Partant de cette hypothèse, on pourrait donc par des actions relativement localisées et non-invasives, mettre fin (exemple au pif) à la foutue vague de chaleur actuelle ?

Météo France le prévoit. J'ai envie d'y croire, mais c'est loin et ça peut changer.

J'ai oublié ce que c'était que la pluie. Je suis dans le 94 et l'orage de fin de dernière canicule n'a pas produit une seule goutte ici. Je sais pas comment fait la nature pour tenir, il doit plus y avoir un gramme de flotte dans le sol à part sur les bords de Marne.

Dinosaur here. After trying to reinvent the wheel with homemade "declarative frameworks" (Flutter-like) in vanilla JS, I'm interested in trying to port some of our stuff on to Lustre.

In our domain there is often the need to present lists with many items, like on the order of 100k or even 1000k perhaps. In vanilla JS we have a table widget that handles this in an optimized way by having a custom scrollbar and fixed row height, so only the rows you see are actually rendered and the size of the underlying data array doesn't matter in how fast the widget is (unless you do actions like sort/search etc).

What would be the best route? Is there a way to nicely wrap the original widget into a Lustre component? Or is it better to rewrite it in Lustre, but in that case I wonder if the framework can expose the kinda of JS tricks that make it fast even on big datasets.

Thanks,

I've never been able to play fast singles with my right foot/hand. And I'm right-handed.

I can use tricks like push-pull (or heel-toe on the foot), but straight singles, nope. It's like I don't have the right neural wiring to just "tense up" (in a good way) the muscles and get that fast repetitive action, like I do on my left side.

If I stick to the hand aspect, I would say the limit of how fast my fingers can move is something like 4th notes at a pathetic 170 bpm, and even then it's not a breeze and my wrist/arm will easily start locking up. There will also be a lack of power, probably because I need to anticipate getting my fingers back for the next hit. There is no such limitation on the left side, it just flows without thinking, and it's like I have a "gas pedal" I can press to really hit hard while maintaining speed.

I kinda gave up on ever becoming a serious drummer because of that, and it sucks because I love that instrument. Note that it also impacts my piano playing somewhat: for example I can't really play fast repeated notes with my right hand unless I use tricks like switching between 2 fingers. Also typing on the computer, fast repeated key action is inaccessible to my right hand.

One time I was seeing this girl and invited her to try some drumming. Showed her the finger technique to play fast singles. With zero practice she was able to already play faster singles than my right hand, kinda sloppily of course but still. Also I remember being jealous of classmates that would tap both their feet super fast.

So I'm looking for people with similar experience. I have a hunch that my dominant side is somehow only wired for fine control and complex tasks, not the "quickly repeat a very simple motion" kind. But nothing so far has worked.

Avez-vous des tuyaux ?

J'en ai jusqu'aux molaires de me traîner dans ma planque d'ingé-dinosaure 5j/7 avec le culte du présentiel, même si j'ai fortement réduit mes horaires, ça reste une tannée. Idéalement je voudrais bosser comme un âne 3j par semaine. Même si je perds en salaire. L'effet psychologique d'avoir plus de jours libres que de jours travaillés dans sa vie n'a pas de prix.

Bonjour,

J'ai un projet d'achat de vélo pliant musculaire, pour du vélotaf au quotidien (maison-RER-bureau) mais aussi pouvoir amener en vacances dans le train sans avoir à réserver un emplacement vélo, et du coup un truc qui se débrouillerait aussi éventuellement sur du chemin de campagne pas trop ardu. Côté budget, disons 1000€ grand max, je veux un truc agréable et de qualité mais pas non plus qui coûte un rein. La compacité est importante pour le train. Que suggérez-vous ?

As the book's introduction mentions, it is centered around severe cases of childhood trauma where caregivers were pretty much horrible 100% of the time. Thing is, I can't relate.

I got some love, some normal playful moments with my parents and my sister, moments of joy and harmony. It was mostly okay, but yes there was a recurrence of traumatic stuff both in the family dynamics and in the outside world as an atypical child (school bullying, isolation etc). But I can't identify with someone who, say, was told by their caregiver from birth to adulthood that they were worthless. Or someone who was SA'd for years. My parents had very dysfunctional aspects, and my sister took the brunt of it (with actual violence from my mom) which explains that I'm somewhat functional and grounded in comparison.

But I still feel like I'm completely wasting my life, locked in self-hatred, shame, social anxiety and avoidant attachment. All the symptoms of CPTSD. I feel like a shadow that progressively gets dimmer and dimmer. I kinda wish my parents, like the author of the book, had "kicked me out of my family home". Things would be very clear once the memories unveiled and I allowed myself to feel things. There would be zero doubt.

Me? I can remember everything from my childhood, including the worst (my mom hitting my sister, my parents yelling at each others etc), and I get no intense physical/emotional response from it. I've done a few months of a therapy based around a timeline of memories, and the therapist always asked me if I had felt anything during the visualizations, and the answer was: no, even though I got vivid images in my mind.

So in a way I feel like I'm either not actually CPTSD, or I'm repressing some big stuff, or I'm on a fringe of CPTSD that's going to be even more difficult to treat because of the subtlety of it. Anyone here with similar struggles?