r/Twins

For me there are two: 1. Who's the good/bad twin?(as if that's a common thing) and 2. Do you guys have twin telepathy?(our brains aren't synced at all)

I myself am NOT a twin however my girlfriend has an identical twin sister and they’re super attached to each other (her twin is a little more attached) . They live together but still call each other every single day when my gf is sleeping over at my place. Her sister gets sad when she’s sleeping over at my place for more than 1 night. My gf is always bringing her up. It honestly intrigues me at the way twins work. I asked my mom (who also has a twin sister) if it was common, she laughed and said yes LOL. How is your dynamic with your twin??

I get relaxed actually.

And she won’t admit help. Not sure what to do.

He's always been stubborn, and his reaction to any kind of conflict has always been to lash out in anger or just completely shut down any attempt at conversation. I think it's easier for him to pretend like I don't exist anymore because he can just drown himself in work, but he's avoided all family events with my mom's side of the family, too, just to avoid me.

I guess for context he chose to block me after I asked if he could help me with expenses when my old laptop shit out and I needed a new computer for school, and he's a mechanic who makes good money and doesn't need to worry about rent as he lives with our dad. I believe he chose to interpret it as me feeling entitled to his money in some way, and like I was undervaluing his work. Of course I would have paid him back, but I probably should have just never asked him to help me in the first place.

Anyways, because of this, he missed my wedding with my wife back in April. Just didn't attend. And this was after he originally heard the news through mutual friends, and he told my father and Mormon Grandparents about my engagement before I had the chance to talk to them myself. I don't even know why he would out my queer relationship that I'd been keeping quiet like that other than some weird gotcha.

It really sucks, but I keep telling myself he's always been mean to me. I think he's just a mean guy. He overworks himself and since he's gotten older I feel like he's just become more and more inconsiderate of me.

My mom and dad have both tried to mediate, but he just shuts them down immediately and says that if they try to talk to him about it again, he's just not going to tell them anything at all. I think he has residual hurt from when we were children. I was always the more articulate between the two of us, and so I feel like maybe people often took my side because my twin brother struggled to use his words the same way. He gets angry and doesn't want to talk to anyone about me at all because he thinks I've manipulated them to my side.

I've been telling myself that my twin brother just isn't someone who I want in my life right now, anyways. I always went above and beyond to help him or do favors for him, or I'd come over to help him study for his classes when he needed a buddy because I know how his brain works and I know how he learns best. That's just one example, I guess. He left me crying in the parking lot at a convention when he wanted to leave early Sunday morning, leaving with mine and my girlfriend (now wife)'s luggage in his trunk and refusing to call or text to figure out a game plan of how we were going to get our stuff back. I spent a month working on his cosplay. Stuff like that.

I don't have a desire to reach out because I know if I do, he won't ever change his attitude or how he treats me. I mean, I don't really have an avenue to contact him, anyway, cuz he blocked me on everything, lol. But it still hurts and it's kind of weird to think that we are approaching an entire year since we last talked.

It sucks. I just wanted to vent.

This is my first time posting on here so sorry if I mess up anything.

I, (27 F) and my twin (27 F) are fraternal but have always been very close. We’ve been living together after moving out from our parents’ place a little under two years ago. She’s looking in the dating pool for a serious relationship but also is open to finding something casual in the meantime. I’m also single but don’t really feel like actively looking for something due to personal preferences as well as wanting to focus on myself, school, and work.

For some added context, neither of us had romantic relationships when we were younger, neither in high school or college. We were both shy and had issues with our weight and were really focused on school then our respective careers. We went to the same college but studied different majors so had different groups of friends, different classes, and now different careers. Our main friend groups, I’d say, are shared or at the very least have hung out with both of us on at least one occasion.

She’s been seeing this guy (24 M) for a little under 3 months now. She has said she doesn’t want a relationship because he isn’t looking for anything serious. But he has been giving her mixed signals. I don’t like the guy. I can’t really pinpoint what it is about him that I don’t like. I get a pit in my stomach whenever she mentions him or mentions she has plans with him. I honestly feel like my mind clouds over and I don’t know how to deal with it. This has never happened with another person she’s dated, and I actually want her to find someone good for her because she deserves all the great things. I know it’s largely a me issue, I have to deal with my feelings and not let others influence my feelings so much, but honestly just looking for advice on if anyone has gone through something similar with their twin and how they’ve dealt with it.

I have let her know I don’t really like him and to be careful, and she said she understood that. Mutual friends have told me maybe I just need to meet him but tbh I don’t want to. It’s been causing a rift between my twin and I and I hate it, maybe that’s added some of the hard feelings I have against him. I really try to just let them work it out and let her handle it but with that I need to find a way to deal with the toll this has taken on my mental state and our relationship.
Like I said, yes I know I have to also deal with my own issues but just want some advice please.

TLDR; I don’t like a guy my twin is seeing casually, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Looking for advice from anyone who has gone through something similar.

Hello, hi, so me and my twinny are curious if anyone out there has even heard of this and this seems like a very great place to ask 😀

We were 4 years old, and we both remember this very, very vividly. Our mother was in the kitchen and she was cooking and excited. She called us and she's like, look, look look., and we looked in the bowland saw cracked eggs. And she had another one in her hand she said, watch guys, she cracked the egg open and 2 yolks came out of the egg, thinking we'd be do geeked to see a twin egg , I remember this so vividly, instantly true anxiety and horror and nausea and full body, like ju

trauma came over both of us. We were crying hysterically and ran. It took hours to feel normal again and our poor confused mama trying to figure out what the hell was going on and we 100% with no explanation really at all . And now, at 44 years old, that feeling has never gone away. If I see twin yokes, I am instantly disgusted and nauseated and sad, lose my appetite, I throughout the food , as I was making throughout the car , another eggs , grab the pan and take it a shower. I mean, it's so bizarre. This is the one and only thing like this ever and trust me, we're very normal, very livery typical, normal chill twins, I love eggs. No explanation at all.\n We both absolutely understand that it's so irrational and bizarre makes no sense. Don't understand it, but no control over it. Our whole lives we avoid buying any eggs larger than a medium and also Brown cause those seem to have more double, I chuckle when I even tried to explain this cause, it makes no sense, it's the one weird a** thing so

We're just wondering we're just curious, if anybody else has a heardof twins having something like this.

So I am an identical twin. I live on the other side of the world from my sister and have done so for a few years now so we both have separate groups of friends. I have not met her friends and she has not met mine. I never normally mention that I am a twin (I normally just say I have a brother and a sister) but I said it in passing the other day to my friend group.

All my friends asked whether we were identical and I obvs said that we were, then they wanted to see a pic. I show them and they all say the same thing- you don’t look the same at all!

See, now I think this is untrue, my family members get us mixed up, I sometimes find it hard to see who is who in some pictures and we get stopped in the street by people asking if we are twins when we are together all the time. I argued that my friends could only tell the difference because they know me so well as an individual and that if they met me and my twin at the same time then they wouldn’t be able to tell who is who so easily.

I know it’s silly but being a twin is part of my identity and it irritates me a little when people say that we don’t even look the same. Have any other identical twins encountered this??

as long as i’ve been a twin (my whole life, non identical) anyone who has ever found out has acted shocked, are we really that rare? is it that shocking that i have a twin? it’s been so normal to me especially as i grew up with twin friends(and lived next door to twins AND triplets!!)

I’m a mom of two fraternal, twin girls (Margot and Coraline 🩷) who are now a month old. I’ve been really adamant when it comes to making sure people understand they are two whole individuals, not two half’s of a whole because already people try to compare them in some way shape or form. Even with their names people think it’s odd they don’t match which is silly to me. Part of me is relived they are fraternal so they have some differences that make them stand out from one another because I worry people will make them feel like they have to compete.

It made me wonder what twins hear often growing up? Did people constantly put you up against each other or compare you often?

EDIT - All of your replies are really great thank you!

My twin and I are fraternal. We grew up doing the same things, getting the same stuff, etc. But we had different interests and hobbies. As we’ve grown up, she has started collecting my hobbies as well and it’s been pretty suffocating because she’s more outgoing and it sometimes feels like I don’t have anything to offer. The boys usually gravitate toward her. I feel like a shadow a lot of the time, because I typically like to remain mysterious, but she is more of a tell it all, show it off type of person. So it often feels like my life is on display. I am constantly in search of new things to do that are unique to me, but it feels like she’s taken everything I love. And I’m running out of options. I feel like I can never find my own identity because everything I like or want for myself, when she sees me do it, she doesn’t stop until she does it to. It even trickles down to boys. She always flirts with the boys that I like. I made a drawing for a boy that I liked, and she made him a bracelet the next day. We don’t discuss boys, but it’s pretty obvious that I like him because I don’t do things like that for people. I just feel like everything is a competition. I can never have anything for myself, and it makes me so anxious. I feel like I need to hide all the time and tip toe because if she sees me doing something that I like , she will steal it. Being a twin has given me such bad identity issues that sometimes, I don’t know if I can take it.

Back to the boys. I don’t feel comfortable talking to her about stuff like that because it never goes as planned. She definitely will not back down, and I don’t feel like I have a chance with anyone. Anything I do, she will try to top it, and it makes me feel so bad and defeated. What can I do?

I don’t know if I’ll find any answers or anything, but I just needed to vent. Maybe someone else has been through this. Maybe someone else has the answers. I don’t know.

Does anyone here have experience with this? I've never met any other twins that had it. I was the donor twin and only grew to be 5'2 but my twin is 5'6. I've also always been slightly underweight. Would love to hear from anyone else who had it!

I'm a FTM to 6mo fraternal boy-girl twins, but we have 0 pairs of twins on either side of the family, nor are we close to anyone who is or has twins, so I would love to hear all the experiences of twins and twin parents that I may not know!

Is there anyone else with same face, nose and eye shapes, even similar eyebrows here despite being born opposite sex, so much as people ask you if you are twins all the constant time ?

I’m a twin mom of identical toddler guys. They are the best thing ever, we love them both so much and are in continuous amazement and awe of their development. Healthy, strong, funny, doing all the things.

My question here is advice from any identical twins who have a visible difference do to an abnormal defect. I hate using the word but not sure what else to call it? One of our twins has amblyopia and some visible structural differences (asymmetry in nuchal folds and difference in eye size too) around one eye along with some possible limited vision there too.

Our little ones look so much alike, often the only way people can tell them apart is by baby A’s eye. I don’t dress them alike for many reasons to make it easier to find other ways to describe them, but alas…

For twins who experienced this, any advice, insight or perspective on growing up in a situation like this would be helpful. Words your parents used. Lessons you learned. Things to avoid.

There’s no script or playbook for multiples really, especially not in a situation like this so it’s always great to hear advice from those that came before us.

I love my boys deeply and want them to be their own individuals while maintaining this special gift from the universe of the twin bond. and to not have baby A’s joy for life ever be dimmed by this

I recently saw a video of a twin mom saying "We never let the twins compete each other. Rather, we make them compete the parents. Example: 'Who can reach the car quicker, mom or you guys?'"

I thought it was so cute and teaches the twins an 'us against the world' mentality. What are some things in your childhood that strengthened your bond with your twin?